perspective

Diamond or Volcano?

I don’t know anyone who has escaped the pressures of the pandemic. Frontline workers putting their lives on the line every day.  Parents who are trying to work from home while managing kids, maybe even multiple kids, who themselves are trying to manage learning from home.  Those same kids who have to try to learn while so many of the best parts of school (friends, fun events, recess) are taken away for now. Adults who can’t work, who have lost jobs, who are facing bills with less or no income. People being abused who are now quarantined with their abusers. People who are anxious, fearful, in despair.

After weeks of staying mostly at home, seeing mostly my family and a familiar four walls, I am restless, tired, often irritable.  I am worn out on eating well some days.  I have less motivation to exercise.  I am quite aware that my problems are much smaller and more manageable than most.

I said in one of my early pandemic posts that this crisis will bring out the best in some people and the worst in others.  A friend recently shared a smart post that said that in this time, jerks are becoming bigger jerks.  Compassionate people are becoming more compassionate. Our essences are expressing themselves.  Which are you?

We all have our ups and downs.  Good days and bad. Some of us have bigger problems looming than others. I get that.

Still, there really isn’t an excuse to be unkind.

I thought to myself, we are all under pressure.

Some of the most beautiful and most deadly things in the world are both born of great pressure.  Diamonds developed when pressure gets extremely intense.  Diamonds, something many consider extremely precious.  Something that sparkles.  Something we cherish. Have you seen diamonds coming out these days?  Kindness?  Generosity? Understanding? Even curiosity?  A willingness to listen?  Changing of minds?

At the same time, pressure between tectonic plates can collide and erupt into a volcano, spewing lava and destruction for miles and miles.  Something we run from, something many of us might fear.  Have you seen any examples of volcanoes around, spewing negativity and lack of understanding?  We’ve all seen them.  Angry protesters screaming at medical workers, police.  Nasty commenters belittling people instead of listening to their sincere concerns.

The 2 chicks have embraced “choose daily” from nearly the start of this blog.  I don’t know if anyone will get through this pandemic without cracks.  But instead of a crack that leads to hurting and destroying everything and everyone around, can you choose a crack that makes you more beautiful?

perspective

The Corona Coulda Shoulda Wouldas

So Corona has been here for a while now.  It has shaped our lives and routines.  I wonder, were you ready?

Ready?  What does that even mean?  Burning question: How do we prepare for the unforeseeable?  For something we have never experienced before?  A lot of people are playing the “coulda, woulda, shoulda” game these days, thinking of things they wish they had done to be more ready for this moment.

Well, in some ways it’s impossible.  But looking at my life now, there are some things I have done that set me up positively for this moment and other things I will do better with from now on. Yes, the lessons are already showing themselves. It’s up to me to keep my eye out and learn them. Here’s a couple I’ve thought about.

One thing I’ve done right: I am glad I took control of my health when I did.  I could not have known what was coming 5 years ago when I started working on my level of fitness, and then more specifically on my diet.  Now we know that severe obesity is one of the major risk factors in serious complications from this virus, and I am grateful I am not in that category any longer.  CrossFit and consistent exercise has also lowered my blood pressure, which some believe seems to make a difference in successfully battling this illness as well.  Still, I was morbidly obese for decades. I know I’ve taken a toll on my body. Hopefully I made the right changes in time and can continue choosing every day and being consistent.

One thing I need to work on: I could definitely spend money differently.  My house is choked with stuff I thought I liked or needed at any given time.  As I’ve noted in previous posts, many of those items are now coming out of hiding and finding a purpose.  Some have been given away to people who need them. But, there’s a lot of excess stuff. I’ll be selling or giving things away over the next few months in bulk and trying to spend more intentionally.

What I am so grateful for: I am SO GLAD I have a group of friends and loved ones to do crazy stuff with.  The “Bad Idea Club” and several others are always up for a goofy good time.  We dress in themes, we giggle from our guts.  We care less about what others may say. Judge away, we are too busy having fun.

Case in point: just before the corona wave broke, we had an epic birthday celebration for Chick 1. We dressed up in 70s regalia, took pictures, went out on the town, stayed out on the town at a funky little hotel, had s’mores late and night and a birthday breakfast at a local diner the next morning, and generally just embraced life.  It was a grand celebration.  And while it was such fun at the time, one short month later, in quarantine, when those photos came up in memories, I multiplied that happiness by 10, that we just went for it and did life and her celebration BIG.

I am sure there are many who roll their eyes (like my kids) or shake their heads at our antics.  But darnit, I really don’t want to get to the end of life and not have lived fully.  The stuff does not matter.  The memories and the people we make them with do.

So much for the coulda, shoulda, wouldas.  We need to take better care of ourselves now, and live now. What are the “I can, I do, I wills” for going forward?

I will to take more vacations, drive more scenic routes.  I will take more hikes and visit loved ones more often. I will stop waiting for the perfect time to drive the Blue Ridge Parkway to see the fall foliage change color.  I will add to my list of dreams and destinations and tick them off one by one by one.

I will keep taking care of myself and those who matter to me.  I will love and live big each day, and appreciate deeply the opportunity to do that! It has made me look at the magnet on my refrigerator (pictured below) with new eyes!

What lessons are you learning from this?  What coulda shoulda wouldas can you turn in to I can, I do, I wills…?

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inspire

Choose Joy Today

I understand Corona is getting the best or worst of many these days. It’s been a month since official lockdown has shut many operations down.

With that being said the news gets uglier everyday. Talk of death, sadness, disease, shortages and so on. I choose not to watch because it sucks the life out of me.

On the same track social media is equally disgusting. Most days there are posts from those crying poor me, giving political rants, or worse slamming others because of their own personal dissatisfaction of circumstances. Most days I have to mute social media outlets because it can be draining.

What’s crazy is some people post away without thinking of who they may offend. If you are a business owner it could be a returning client you isolate. If you are a parent it could be your school teacher neighbor you anger. If you’re tired of being cooped up and give a medical rant you might be pissing off that very important healthcare worker that is in your network.

The value of social media can be far reaching but so can its hurt. Most people learn as adults to cool off before you type your feelings in an email or online. Right now this is an important lesson many may need to hear more than once.

Guess what people. I’m choosing joy. I’m choosing to tune out the negative news, negative people and negative ranters online. Bye. Gone. Ghosted. Just like that. My mental health doesn’t need your toxicity.

I clearly don’t need negative when I open my mail and see happy mail. Cards, letters, postcards or even porch drops of sweetness. I had the best homemade salsa delivered by a pal to my surprise. I had many lift-me-up note cards in the mail like the one below. All with uplifting messages. The one below is from an amazing healthcare worker on the front line. She has taken the time to send out hope cards to her friends. The world needs more of this and less negativity.

We are all in this Corona mess together. Everyone has limited opportunities yet we all have the opportunity to choose joy over hatred or sorrow. There are already impacts near and far. Healthcare workers and caregivers are getting sick or dying. This is real people. It’s not a conspiracy theory to shut your business down.

About a month ago I posted about what was taken away. The separation of my dad and mom at their age due to visitation restrictions. The loss of connection. This will last well past when most get off stay-at-home orders due to the risk category elderly fall into.

I can’t fix those circumstances but I had opportunities to offer hope and positivity in out of the box ways. I mailed a care package filled with his favorite candies to my dad so he would know people outside were thinking about him. We integrated Facetime visits whenever possible and that in itself can be challenging for those in their 80s. I designed a cool shirt for my mom and dad’s 59th anniversary that will most likely be spent apart. Not ideal situations but we are coping with the options afforded us. At the same time appreciating the lockdown to keep him and others safe within his facility.

As shown on the news, the elderly can be wiped out fast if this virus hits an assisted living place with common living areas much like a cruise ship. It’s messages like this on the news that can rattle one’s cage. I know this when I see my mom worrying about my dad after a news segment. Choosing the joy in the situation can overshadow the negative if you choose.

Crazy to think about but staying home can help if you think about the big picture. The keepsake below will help my folks ring in 59 years apart this year. It is their only anniversary apart to date but they still have each other and that a blessing. Choose joy everyone. Corona can’t take that away from you.

Speaking of time, it’s so precious. As I write this heartbreak has hit close by. A loss of a bright young soul to suicide. Yes this is real. As humans we are social. When people are confined to their homes others can’t see those suffering signs. Some will choose the only solution they see viable to their perceived problems. It’s sad but I know more will follow. Suicide, PTSD, substance abuse and depression are current issues impacting many. That’s not a conspiracy theory.

I watched my sister work in her garden in the past few days. Lettuce, tomatoes and other veggies are starting to blossom. We as a community will blossom and rise just like a new garden. Some years are more fruitful than others but if you work hard all can sprout.

Times of struggle are upon us all. How we react to this pandemic will show what we are made of and who we are as people. Check on those who seem distant. Be kind. Look beyond you to help others. I can’t emphasize this enough. Make your own garden sprout. A little sunshine, a little hard work, and a little hope will go a long way.

working women

Business Isn’t for the Faint of Heart

Holy smokes are you buckled in for the ride of your life? That’s pretty much what every business owner is doing each day they wake up in the insane life we live today. They buckle up for the crazy ride just like a healthcare worker. Ready to face the unknown. Ready to deal with defeat.

Don’t get me wrong business isn’t easy on normal days but these uncharted waters are not for the weak, inexperienced or underfunded CEO’s. A business owner during this tough economic climate has got to lead with confidence, control and commitment.

They must make sound decisions, fast. They have to think about their passion, their purpose, their drive, their team, their community and they have to take action in what seems like an instant. Profit is out the door for the most part.

Lives are on the line no matter what business you are in. There is something essential in everything we do, 24 hours a day, 7 days a week, 365 days a year.

Life may get paused but it can’t halt forever. Leaders need to face fears. Leaders need to help people around them. Leaders must rally the troops. Selfless acts in uncertain times show character in CEOs who step up when it counts. Troubled times will also highlight those CEOs who hide or make selfish decisions when the road gets bumpy.

Many good leaders will fail during this challenging time. And if they do fail, it’s temporary. A good leader will find their way to higher ground. It may take time, but one will build resilience and emerge stronger.

To all my fellow business partners, leaders, and colleagues, I applaud you. Those tough decisions had impacts, we know that. I also know you made the decisions that caused the least impact possible to your surroundings. If failure is lurking, embrace it. Failure is just an opportunity to rebuild, rebrand, rejuvenate your passion. Your power. Your footprint.

Business owners don’t get unemployment but they help file for their employees in this challenging time. Businesses may have shut down but still paid employees for as long as they could. Restaurants stayed open to feed people when they may have lost 90% of their revenue and not know how they will make their rent next month. Landlords offered shelter to those who didn’t have funds to pay when rent was due. So many selfless acts go on each day. Many nobody will ever see.

True leaders do without glory. They do what needs to be done and worry about what ifs later. That’s what they do even if it may just be the crumbling of their lifelong work.

I also caution you to be aware of those making decisions to financially benefit themselves at another’s expense during this pandemic. In troubled times this happens when a CEO may not see the big picture. Their short term decision may have long term consequences. Price gouging and hoarding may be two prime examples that come to mind.

Many may never see the crazy shit from the CEOs eyes. I write this note for those to catch a glimpse of the insanity. The burden placed on entrepreneurs who have heavy stakes in the business game. Many think entrepreneurs have it all. In reality they risk it all including the shirt on their back. Personal savings, home equity used as personal guarantees, and so on.

It’s a tough world for everyone right now. Be a nice human. Support your communities where you can. We will all survive this mess. Some of us may have battle scars while others may have bad hair. Either way the vast majority will survive. That is enough to be thankful for.

Enjoy the shit show of today.

balance

When Life is Subject to Change Without Notice

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Competing in next week’s big game.

Carefree time on the 3-day weekend.

A long planned-for (paid for!) international adventure.

Taking in the beauty of the first farmer’s markets of the season.

All things to look forward to.  Now, all on hold.

When the Coronavirus started to rapidly unfold in America last week, I said to a new friend “it feels like everything now has an asterisk next to it.  Everything is to be announced, subject to change without notice.”  I didn’t know what that meant then, a few short days ago.  So much happens each day.

Not only are the things we have to look forward to either canceled, postponed, or up in the air, even the basic routines of life are disrupted.  Will I go to work next week, and if so where and for how long?  My daughter is unexpectedly doing school online for a while. How will that go? You’d think she would be thrilled, but she groaned when I told her.  She said she will miss school, even with the ridiculously early wakeups and late nights getting home from practice.  She loves her teams and her friends and being with people.

That’s really it. We look forward to people. Experiencing and sharing life with them.

Now it’s all social distancing. Abundance of caution. Flatten the curve. A curve ball I wasn’t anticipating.

I’ll admit, the uncertainty has gotten me glum or a little anxious at times.  Even though I’m sometimes overwhelmed by my typically busy life, I love what I do.  I’ve started to reflect and appreciate the joyfully-packed life I get to lead most of the time. And I know it will return.

At the moment, I am living in the present more so than I have in a while.  The calendar is suddenly much emptier than it was.  The urgency of a lot of things is gone. It’s very strange, living in the time of to be announced.

As for healthy hacks? What helps me today is focusing on what I can control.  Exercise. Nutrition. Cleaning. Routines. Basics. Patience.  Taking some time to get outside to appreciate the signs of spring that are popping up (see the pics!) Nature has a rhythm that continues and comforts in times of upheaval. Keeping the amount of news and social media I consume at a reasonable level.  I have had a rocky time with several of these already, but I’m trying.

I choose focused over frantic. Present over pessimistic.  Peaceful over panicked.

Choose daily.

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