family

The Fog Rolled In Fast

It was a Friday night. A little chilly but tolerable. An outdoor event was on the agenda. All seemed normal until the riveting phone call shattered the ambient air.

A different kind of chill entered the air. A painful chill. A sudden chill. A heartfelt chill. A family member passed that chilly night.

Our beloved Axel the husky was killed tragically when he escaped from a fenced yard. A runner by design but loyal friend to the end. Axel was smart, fluffy and a joy to be around. He was the runt of the litter when we got him, overbite and all. He was just perfect for us.

Like most families we are less than perfect thus a pup with an overbite would fit right in. The breeder said don’t you want to pick a different one? Nope he was the one that we thought was special. We all loved him in an instant.

Year after year he played dress up and entertained the kids shenanigans and photo shoots. Pretty sure he made his way into many tiktoks over the years and he was always photogenic.

Axel never met a stranger. He was well-mannered but affectionate. This tragedy has left me in a fog since I found out about his fate. I can’t turn back time but I can honor his memory.

Axel was a therapy dog for one of my kids. He comforted him when rough times were upon him and he provided companionship when it was time to play. Dogs just know what their humans need.

Every time I run and want to quit, I would think Axel is running along side me in heaven and he wouldn’t quit. When I’m sad like I am now I will flip back in my photo reel and smile and say those are tears of joy not sadness as we had many good years and memories together.

When my family is sad I will support them as we work through this tough time together. The hurt will pass in time but I am forever thankful for my memories.

I do have other pets to help me soothe my sorrow because they know when their human is sad. I am grateful for this but anyone who has dealt with a tragic death knows all to well the ripping from ones arms is so very different than the death of somebody aging.

Unplanned. Unexpected. Unwanted. Those are the ugly U words that come to mind today as I sit in fog holding onto to memories. Say a prayer for my pup in doggy heaven as he chases squirrels or whatever he so chooses to chase. You will be missed Axel!

These bold blue eyes will forever be visible in our hearts. ūüíě As with any loss of a family member one must mourn. This post has been sitting for a bit until I was ready share and honor his memory. Lost but not forgotten.

fitness and nutrition

My Dumbbell Museum

A few days ago I shared about some “vintage” Easter treasures that have found new life in our home during the coronavirus pandemic.

There’s another area in our home that has found some new life as we have become more and more isolated.¬† All the members of my family have lost access to our gym and fitness facilities / practices, so our makeshift basement gym space has become a hub of activity on and off from 6:30 am (my exercise time) on throughout the day.

As with many things in this new “normal” we are making do with what we have. Stuff is coming out of corners, emerging from piles, being excavated after years of gathering dust.¬† Most of our gym stuff is old, inherited, or has other stories.¬† Here’s a glimpse of my fitness lives through my gallery of dumbbells.¬† And these are only the ones that I use(d)…those above 25 just aren’t on my radar at the moment.

Starting with the smallest:

Empower handweights: 2.5 lbs

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I used these when I was trying to walk my weight off.  Before running, before CrossFit, before any of it.  I would pump my arms up and down as I walked. Not sure how to use them in my current routines but anything is possible!

Reebok coated baby dumbbells: 5 lbs

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These are from my “aerobics in front of the TV while the kids are napping” phase.¬† Seems like not that long ago, but it really was.¬† I showed these to my son this week and he remembered watching me do my little routines with them from the stairs. Now they are paint-splattered and worn.¬† But, I remember holding the weights over my head and lowering them behind my head to feel my triceps burn. They work for T-raises and other isolated accessory movements.

Super Star Orbatrons: 11 lbs (yes, 11 pounds which makes them extra awesome!)

These babies, with their sand-filled copper sheen, date back to my childhood. They’re almost as big as my head! And I use them almost every day. I know, you’re jealous.¬† They’re fabulous. My dad would sit and do curls with these at the dinner table while he was reading the paper.¬† He was always fighting to retain any bit of strength he could on his ultra-arthritic arms. So these have sentimental value.¬† They are big and clunky. They are round, which adds a challenge when I am trying to balance on one in pushup position while picking up the other.¬† But they make me smile in all their 1980’s style glory.

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(Pause to note: I am reallllyyyyy missing 15-pounders right here. I often used those in weighted situps and some of the slower accessory movements.  I keep scanning the internet for used ones almost daily!)

Metal Hex Dumbbells (on bench): 20 lbs.

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These came from my in-laws. They at least have flat sides so they don’t roll around like the 10s do. These are my go-tos for overhead presses and many other movements.¬† ¬†Not much to say about them but they are durable and well used.

Rubber Hex Dumbbell: 25 lbs.

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Finally, the only “new” dumbbell in the bunch.¬† I bought this when I was at my first CrossFit gym.¬† That gym had nothing between 20 and 35 pounds, and that span was too big of a jump for me.¬† So, I bought myself *one* 25-pound dumbbell. I hid it in the ladies dressing area when I wasn’t using it.¬† It was not too long ago that picking this up was a feat!¬† I remember doing my first 25-pound single-arm snatch with it only a couple of years ago.¬† Now, I mainly use it for snatches.¬† Using it still gets me winded.

I don’t have 30-pounders which stinks.¬† We have 35s but they are metal.¬† I’m not especially confident (and I am truly clumsy) so I tend to leave everything over 25 alone, especially since I don’t have a coach watching these days.¬† But that’s ok.

I move every day, I lift weights, and I’m making do with what I have.¬† I guess that’s a motto for me at this point fitness-wise.¬† Making the best with what I have, and hoping for the best as time goes on. It’s not glossy or shiny or perfect or new, kinda like me. As with these dumbbells, there are many ages and pages to my fitness story.¬† This chapter will be a memorable one.

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celebrations, family, Uncategorized

Isolated but Lucky

I’ve been in isolation for a while like most around the world. I get out for fresh air when it’s not raining. I’ve taken a bike ride with a friend with the 6-foot rule. I’ve spent some time with my family. I’ve adapted to my at home workouts. I’ve eaten more carbs than I probably should and so on.

There have been moments of annoyance but nothing that hasn’t been manageable. I’ve been able to celebrate my aging mom as she stays with me for some time during the pandemic. For this reason alone I can say I made epic memories during the pandemic. It may seem weird to some but I wouldn’t have had the time or opportunity to spend one-on-one time to this extent with my aging mom had the pandemic not surfaced. I’m sure that statement is offensive to some but it’s just my way of finding the sunshine in a shitty situation.

Whatever the reasons are that led to the timing, I am thankful. Many memories were made and I just got some quality time with her that I can be selfishly happy about. She may have preferred to be my dad’s side but he can’t have visitors currently so her being with family is the next best option. I got to celebrate three generations of baby girls:

As I mentioned previously my photo reel is real. It’s real important to me. It captures moments in time that will never be repeated. One day I won’t have that opportunity but today I do.¬†

That’s my daughter’s hair on my mom’s head as we facetime my mom’s great-grandchild to make her laugh. Taking advantage of time, technology and saving the memory.

Duck faces for relatives far away. My mom doesn’t even know how to operate a smart phone but she is willing to pose not knowing what I will do with the photos. I’m sure she gave me warnings but I probably didn’t heed the warnings.

As the world around us seems dark and dreary, find your sunshine. I’m sure it is around you. Maybe you need to look a little harder but I’m sure it is there.

Next week may bring different challenges as more and more shelter in place orders come down the pipe but for today we celebrate the moment as the world seems to change hourly these days.

Take the time to write a note to a friend or loved one. Pick up the phone and make that call. Color a picture for somebody in a local hospital. Use your idle time to benefit others in need.

Stay safe. Stay humble. Be kind.

 

awareness, balance

Boredom Rings at Odd Times

2:40 am and the house is super quiet. Not a creature is stirring, but I seem bored.

My mind is racing but on much of nothing. What am I going to do tomorrow? Nothing big? What can I do? Nothing big? What should I do? Nothing really?

I doubt I am alone but what are others worried about? Food, shelter, essentials and how to support themselves. Maybe that what’s keeping me awake.

An acquaintance in the restaurant industry that is a server. His livelihood relies upon customers, tips and his restaurant being in operation. None of those things are available currently. This impacts his ability to pay his rent, buy food and basically survive. I am worried for him.

The two young adults learning to navigate early adulthood living on their own. Living paycheck to paycheck. Having no cushion for next week let alone a month. Both hourly workers in an industry cutoff by the corona virus. How will their mental health fare during this time? Will they springboard and value the importance of saving for a rainy day?

My friend’s family owns a restaurant. My friend is a hair dresser. My friend is a mechanic. My friend owns a gym. They all have families, budgets, bills, and employees. They have to make hard decisions to survive. Some are in states with mandatory shutdowns of their business. Business is always risky but nobody forecasted the world halting like it did recently. How will this impact these friends in the short term and the long term?

Those caring for elderly. The heightened scare for their health due to underlying problems. The isolation. Will this solidarity kill them? Will they give up on their own because it’s just too much to cope with at their age?

I think I worry about the mental health of many connected to me. The stress, the anxiety, the unknown all hinges on fear. When fear is constant on the news, on the internet, in the government, on the radio, in the desolate streets one needs to have coping skills. And I’m not just talking about phone a friend because you need multiple options for coping and navigating these unchartered and turbulent times. One friend can’t solve or take on that burden themselves.

You may need to call a doctor. You mean need to reach out to a phone hotline. You may need to research stress relievers for your type of triggers. You might need to take up a hobby like cooking. It’s also critical to include exercise. Sometimes exercise can be overlooked in this type of crisis, but exercise can be a form a stress relief and add mental clarity.

I am working out at home daily. Inside or outside depending on the weather. Different movements than usual and maybe more bite-sized packets of workouts than long hard workouts. Mostly depends on the day and what I have to knock out.

I can’t forget to mention two friends in two different parts of country suffering from cancer. Both mid-stream in treatment. Extensive treatment that absolutely requires isolation. They live in fear of not only their cancer but now the virus lurking around them. Their risk is so much higher. Their stress has to be maxed. Their family full of endless worry. My heart bleeds for these folks.

My friends on the front lines. The nurses, doctors, x-ray tech, respiratory therapists, occupational therapists, and others involved in care giving in the present. They are all handling their duties so well, full of pride and boundless energy. I am full of gratitude to those of you I know near and far. Keep working hard.

I guess when I started this blog I noted I was bored. In reality I am probably just worried. Troubled mind thinking of others. Clearly I can’t cure the virus or solve the problems of all the folks above. I can however offer hope, kindness and positive vibes to those I interact with.

I will find little ways to brighten people’s day around me. Even if brief it’s my contribution. My efforts that I can control. Today their are many things out of my control but I choose my attitude. I choose my efforts. I can make an impact. Small maybe but if I motivate one person I did something.

Even if we are on lockdown we can all offer hope to others. I guess I should have named this post hope not boredom. Signing off to sleep a little more now that my mind is at peace. What a wonderful method of relaxation, writing. That’s a little tidbit for you. Grab a journal and write your thoughts down while you navigate this challenging time. Writing is therapeutic from my perspective.

perspective

Flip Flopping Frustrations

This morning my frustrations were mounting.¬† The workouts I decided on weren’t what I expected.¬† My home gym equipment kept failing or falling over.¬† I wasn’t sweating enough.¬† The scale was up.¬† My morning reading time didn’t settle my mind as it usually does.¬† Another day of staring at a computer screen (aka working from home) was about to begin. Anger, irritation, all of it piling up, no end in sight.

Woe is me.

I had a come to Jesus with myself and told myself to quit griping.  Yes, a lot of the pandemic pandemonium sucks but we are making it work.  I told myself to make a list of my frustrations then flip them into reasons to be grateful.  Some remind me to be grateful for what I have now, others remind me to be grateful for what I used to have and will hopefully return to.  Here it is:

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It’s in the notebook I’ve set aside to chronicle this crazy time. I’ve read in several places that journaling, while always important, is especially valuable now, for mental health as well as historical reasons.¬† We are living history. I know I will add more pages of frustration as this time wears on.¬† I’ll keep reading it and reminding myself to flip my frustrations into appreciation.

Spring break begins today.¬† What would have been sweet relief and possibly getting out of town is not a shelter-in-place order that will last two weeks.¬† Our one week off of school will be followed by at least three more of learning from home.¬† I will spend time preparing my mind for these challenges this week.¬† I’ll also devote some time to gratitude to friends, family, and those who are serving on the front lines of this crisis.¬† And hopefully get out into the sunshine and nature often with those who are closest to me.

When you start to get stuck or go down the path of anxiety, see if you can flip your thinking.  Focus on gratitude and what you can control. What switch can you flip today?

balance

When Life is Subject to Change Without Notice

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Competing in next week’s big game.

Carefree time on the 3-day weekend.

A long planned-for (paid for!) international adventure.

Taking in the beauty of the first farmer’s markets of the season.

All things to look forward to.  Now, all on hold.

When the Coronavirus started to rapidly unfold in America last week, I said to a new friend “it feels like everything now has an asterisk next to it.¬† Everything is to be announced, subject to change without notice.”¬† I didn’t know what that meant then, a few short days ago.¬† So much happens each day.

Not only are the things we have to look forward to either canceled, postponed, or up in the air, even the basic routines of life are disrupted.¬† Will I go to work next week, and if so where and for how long?¬† My daughter is unexpectedly doing school online for a while. How will that go? You’d think she would be thrilled, but she groaned when I told her.¬† She said she will miss school, even with the ridiculously early wakeups and late nights getting home from practice.¬† She loves her teams and her friends and being with people.

That’s really it. We look forward to people. Experiencing and sharing life with them.

Now it’s all social distancing. Abundance of caution. Flatten the curve. A curve ball I wasn’t anticipating.

I’ll admit, the uncertainty has gotten me glum or a little anxious at times.¬† Even though I’m sometimes overwhelmed by my typically busy life, I love what I do.¬† I’ve started to reflect and appreciate the joyfully-packed life I get to lead most of the time. And I know it will return.

At the moment, I am living in the present more so than I have in a while.¬† The calendar is suddenly much emptier than it was.¬† The urgency of a lot of things is gone. It’s very strange, living in the time of to be announced.

As for healthy hacks? What helps me today is focusing on what I can control.¬† Exercise. Nutrition. Cleaning. Routines. Basics. Patience.¬† Taking some time to get outside to appreciate the signs of spring that are popping up (see the pics!) Nature has a rhythm that continues and comforts in times of upheaval. Keeping the amount of news and social media I consume at a reasonable level.¬† I have had a rocky time with several of these already, but I’m trying.

I choose focused over frantic. Present over pessimistic.  Peaceful over panicked.

Choose daily.

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coaching, dare to be different

Mind Training

Can you train your mind to do things?

I think you can. We all have fears and sometimes our mind makes us think we can’t do something but if we are consistent, determined and persistent a lot can actually get done if we train our mind to think I can.

Let’s look at learning to ride a bike as a child. There is a fear factor involved for most, if not all. I’m sure it has to do with road rash and how much it hurts. I can’t think back to that age but my vague memories tell me it took practice, determination and trust. Trust in my teacher(s).

Then there is learning to drive a car. This fear may fall more towards the teacher rather than the student, but practice, consistency and determination play a part in success or failure. Even how long it takes to master the skill.

For some learning to swim is a challenge. Some don’t get the exposure in their youth and have to battle bigger obstacles to learn to swim or acknowledge they can’t swim as an adult. Kind of weird when you think about it. Nonetheless one has to train their brain to conquer the new skill. Consistent practice, patience, determination all play a role in success or failure.

Conquering fears is a lifelong challenge as fears pop up almost everywhere in life. We have to train our brain to think we can. Show our inner strength and power. Show our resilience and determination. We have to look fear in the eye. We need to train our mind.

What’s also crazy is we have to train our minds while people watch. Around us others are watching and learning too. Some may even be mirroring our behaviors to improve theirs. It could be your kids. It could be your grandkids. Maybe a coworker. Maybe a student in your class. Maybe a neighbor. Any day you could have one or more watchers. Those who watch you. Those who want to learn from you. Those who want to see what makes you tick.

Show them how you train your brain. How you do the things you may not want to. How you can strive to a new level of awesomeness with just a little extra push.

When you power up yourself and those around you great things happen. Strength, positive vibes, compassion and so much more is ignited.

Training your mind is a valuable skill to be able to harness. It’s an indirect form of communication. It’s even more powerful when you can spread that power to others around you.

Escape the ordinary today. Be that influencer. Be bold. Be assertive. Be decisive. Be authentic. Add a little sassy. Maybe some smarts. You will be one hell of a badass!

Just a little whisper in your ear from one badass to another.