Category: challenges

challenges

Burdensome

2chicksandapen

What does it mean to be a burden to others?

For different people this answer can stretch for what seems like miles from one extreme to another. There is the obvious burden for our elderly. Unable to care for themselves 100% or dependent on others for shopping, driving, personal care, even tech support. Sometimes the need is even as simple as companionship or mental stimulation. All these things take time and effort. Once capable adults may find themselves in need of help on weekly or even daily basis. 

There can be other scenarios for adults that are harder to see. Emotional, intellectual or even medical challenges or disabilities. These often cause dependency issues relating to transportation, housing, finances amongst others. 

Tragedies or accidents or diseases with crippling effects. Confined to a wheelchair or hospital bed. Limited mobility during recovery. Medical care costs, time traveling to appointments, the red tape of insurance claims, referrals, the list goes on. Each scenario can make the individual feel like a burden to others. A dependency problem. One may perceive themselves to be a burden while others may be willing to offer support without thinking of their actions as burdensome. The mismatch can become a barrier between people. 

Hope. A simple four-letter word. We can all offer hope to others through our positive actions. Sending a note card, a text or making the phone call. Checking in to offer a helping hand. Some will accept while others will deny any help.  They may even hide the fact that they need assistance. Watch for other signs with those who deny any need for help. Depression. Isolation. Self-harm. Lack of interest in religion. Giving away prized possessions. These signs could lead to other issues.

Maybe it’s their stubbornness or I can do it mentality. Maybe they don’t want to waste others’ time. Let’s face it, we will all find our selves in this scenario at some point in time. How will you handle the burden dilemma? Will you accept help willingly? Will you ask for what you need? Will you want to be isolated and do it all on your own? Will you consider quitting the fight all together?

On the other end, if you offer support is it endless? Is it just a starting point? To force the one struggling to face their problems head on? Will you continue to offer support time and time again? What if somebody takes advantage of your kindness? How does one communicate to the person in need that it’s okay to have help? It’s okay to work as a team. It’s okay to not be okay all the time, but it’s never okay to take help for granted.

Sometimes the one who needs the help becomes a taker because the giver allows it. One must always set boundaries. You can offer help but expect change and effort (or at the very least gratitude) in return. And watch out for reverse abuse. Words can hurt. The one who feels they are a burden can lash out at the ones closest to them. Unless you have that hard conversation the hole will continue to build. Consistent and honest communication can go a long way toward sharing the burdens so no one gets overwhelmed. 

adventure, challenges

Climbing Life

2chicksandapen

Every day I set out to climb the mountain of life. Some days it rains. Some days it pours. Some days the sun shines bright. Some days are meant to be for laziness. Other days require a dialed into productivity mentality. No Matter what the weather of life spits out, I still climb through the turbulence. No climb nor day is ever exactly the same.

Today’s climb encompassed physical strain, outdoor adventures, lots of sunshine and just a different set of people to converse with. Keeping in mind the latter can be exhausting in itself. This girl was tired and working on fumes at the end of the day but the strain may just be the icing on the cake. It was the weekend but being booked solid Friday to Sunday isn’t for the weak at heart. The climb was taxing, physically this time.

Reminder-spending time outside in the sun can have positive benefits for your varied recovery stages.

Tomorrow will be a contrast. A different mental Monday starts in with new people and places adding stress and awkward moments. As long as the sun shines a little the kinks in the day will easy work their way out. If the weather is rainy I may feel bumps in the day. For now the weather seems to fit the need for my mental Monday. A day to dial in and focus on the productivity needed. This climb is more about mental strength than physical.

Sometimes the calendar brings along dates or events that get locked in months prior. A long wait time to get to the certain day. Sometimes it’s a dreaded day and other times it’s a welcome day. A business meeting of sorts. A dress up day. A get shit done or else kind of project. How does one even get wrapped up in such chaos? Little ole me of course. A positive attitude can go a long way on these day that seem like a mountain to climb in 15 minutes or less.

Whether one has a job interview, a class final, a sales meeting, a review with their boss, a court date, a wedding, a birth or just any other once in a blue moon event one will feel stress of sorts. The key is training your mind to win the day. Climb the mountain of life. That day. Conquer that obstacle that may seem so big, yet it’s only as big as you let your mind make it. These days seem more about emotional strength. Being able to endure life’s surprises.

Seizing a day.

Capturing that big moment.

Feeling the rush of completing what seems so difficult in the moment.

Looking ahead at what can be with a smile.

Putting your head down to climb the mountain of life. Taking little steps to chip away at that monumental task(s). Exercising patience. Growing physically, emotionally, socially and mentally. Putting oneself out there. Applying strength when needed. Pushing when required. Pushing again when resistance hits. Reframing. Regrouping. Reclaiming life. Your life. After the mountain.

Life can feel weighted at times. That’s life. Some days you need to lift heavy physically. Some days mentally. No two mountains have the same terrain. Life is full of mountains. Life is a gamble of sorts. Sometimes you need to gamble on yourself. This involves taking risks. The bigger the risk, the greater the rewards in life.

Never stop climbing!

challenges

Up Too Early

2chicksandapen

3 am came too early for the girl who likes to sleep past 7 am on the daily and even later on the weekend.

What was different? A few things, but nothing serious. Tired, of course. Just unable to sleep. Maybe too much caffeine before bed? Was it a restless night? Not so much. Just a good old case of she can’t sleep. Now. Today. At all. Talk about frustrating!

Not hungry. Not thirsty. Not angry. Not unsettled. Not hyped for a trip or a meeting or a big work deal, nothing. Not a thing to weigh one down. Insomnia. Just insomnia. Toss. Turn. Peek at the clock. Take deep breaths. Count to 20. Listen to the soft sounds of doggies breathing. All so peaceful…but sleep is still miles away. Hate to see what my whoop says tomorrow or today about my overnight recovery. The yawns get heavier but still the sleep doesn’t follow. Day breaks and as predicted, the whoop insists sleep is needed! Just a confirmation of what I already knew.

Visits to dreamland are short. Then longer visits seem deeper yet disturbing content causes me to wake. Unexpected. Sleep deprived: no stormy weather just stormy sleep; a long day awaits this tired soul.

A day outdoors with the sun on her face adds to the exhaustion. Will a late afternoon nap help offset the tiredness? Would a wind down cocktail be better? Who’s to know the exact recipe to support the exhausted. Minutes in daytime seem as long as the endless minutes overnight. Hungry every couple of hours. Snapping at co-workers. Attention drifts. Not quite firing on all cylinders. Body feeling heavy. When is bedtime again?

This fiasco starts again as the new night begins. Eye masks. Extra blankets. Blankets pulled up just right. Reading for a few minutes. Nothing could soothe the soul of the tired one. Maybe it’s time to count sheep? Lullabies? 

Have you ever had a sleepless night?

challenges, perspective

Goodbye Vs.

2chicksandapen

Is there a difference between goodbye and see you later?

Yes!

Goodbye could mean you are heading off to work. Off to take a trip. You’re fired from a job. There are many uses for the phrase goodbye.

Similarly some may use the phrase see you later as you head off to work. Head off for that trip. After being fired from a job. I guess it depends on who is making the conversation that decides the definite nature of which term is more appropriate.

Will I see you later? 

Is later defined as same day?

Maybe later in the year?

Later in life?

Goodbye may be more long term in my mind. Parting ways not knowing when you will meet up again. Will you ever meet up again? Some refer to saying goodbyes at funeral for example.

Such an odd thing to write about yet it’s what’s on my mind. I recently parted ways with a person that I wasn’t sure what term to use.

See you soon?

Goodbye for now?

See you later?

Goodbye?

In the end I was thinking that goodbye may be too permanent of a choice in words. What if me saying goodbye meant good riddance in some way? What if goodbye was misinterpreted? I had many questions of myself on what to choose in the moment.

Sometimes we can’t see people we want to see up close and in person. I’m pretty sure we all learned that during Corona. FaceTime and other mediums definitely help with those traveling abroad, living abroad, those away at college or even distant family and friends. 

What gets tricky is when service isn’t available. No wifi access. Poor cell signal. A remote camp site. No access to technology which can be by design or not. Does that make the choice of words different when you have a gap in time that you will see or speak a person?

I think so. Bye for now. Offer hope for next connection whether in person or electronically. Maybe a special pact for how to insure the next connection point is solidified. How I must think about how to use the right words at the right time for the right situation.

This isn’t goodbye. It’s more like see you later. The date may be unimportant now but the hope of the day is ever present. Relationships can endure so much when communication is at the forefront of the relationship. Choosing words that are appropriate can be key in so many scenarios.

Finding common grounds for tomorrow even if tomorrow is days, months or weeks away. Hope. A simple four letter word that can carry forth one’s spirit to see the sunshine of tomorrow.

Dearest best friend in California who lives miles and miles away. For now I say goodbye to you. Not a forever goodbye but more of a see you later, although it may not be soon. It is my hopes to see you again when our vacation schedules sync up again. For now we can use whatever social mediums or web access we can find to keep our bond going. One day at a time. For we will know no matter the distance apart the strength of our connection can endure the the lapse in time.

I enjoyed thinking about how to reframe my goodbyes that I conduct in life. Goodbye to friends and family in the phone. Goodbyes to clients in person or by the phone. Am I a hug it out kind of person or a high five or maybe the awkward nothing.

Through this thought process/post I have decided I am very open to hugging it out in person. I am a what’s next for the business meeting closures. I am good with closures in emails. I am not good at goodbyes on the phone. When I’m done I’m done. But what if that was my last chance ever to say good bye?

Just a ponder post.

challenges, fitness and nutrition

Puddin’ Pedal

2chicksandapen

Sounds cute and innocent enough…a 20-mile “fun ride” through central Georgia. Part of the State Banana Pudding Festival. Pudding at all the rest stops! A pudding tasting at the festival! Banana carving! What’s not to love?

There was a 20 mile and a 40 mile option. People asked me what I was doing…funny. Even 20 miles would be about 7 miles longer than I had ever biked. There were maybe 20 of us, total. 5 doing 40 miles, 15 doing 20. Some chit chat at the start line…quite a few of us were new to this event, but nearly all had much nicer gear and bikes than I did. Several wore fancy kits advertising their distance races. Most were also my age or older. Friendly. After all, we weren’t competing.

Straight out of the gate there was a huge downhill. I thought to myself, we are going to pay for this with some big ups.

How right I was! What followed was mile after mile of mostly huge hills. Every turn had me holding my breath and often shaking my head in disbelief. Another ?!^&@# hill!!!

The 40 milers and some of the more experienced cyclists were long gone as I steady pedaled up the first few hills. A couple of older women who had come together took a number of breaks on the side of the rural roads so I kept in touch with them. Finally at one point I turned around to see several people about 50 yards behind me along with the police safety vehicle that signifies the back of the pack. I’m doing ok, I thought. Just keep moving.

Up and down. Up and down. At one point I just get off the bike and walk it up the last part of the hill. My back and my saddle soreness told me it was fine to take a little break. At one point people pass me and then I hear the sound of the car over my shoulder. It would be over my shoulder for the remainder of the miles. Kind of taunting me. Once in a while tempting me. Others had given up, hoisted their bikes and climbed in. Put themselves out of the slow rolling pain of endless hills. Should I?

I’ll spare you the pain of all the inner doubt and dialogue. I knew I was too stubborn to give up. Yes, every time I would get off the bike to walk some horrible uphill they would pull up next to me to see if I was ok. Always the answer: “yes” with a smile and a thank you. Even with the headwinds of a storm blowing in. Even after an hour and a half with no mile markers and not a bowl of pudding in sight, I kept going.

We did finally get to the pudding stop. There was just one. The rest of the 20 mile group was there, sitting and snacking on pudding and sandwiches and nilla wafers and orange slices. We all pulled out together a few minutes later. I learned we just had about 7 miles to go, with a few more horrible uphills between me and the finish line.

It took forever, it seemed. Me and the sweep truck just puttering along. One hill had me so mad I started hyperventilating. But I had to calm down… “You didn’t come this far to just come this far,” I told myself. “Finish it. Finish it. Finish it.” Counting my pedals from 1-100 just to focus on getting. up, the, hill.

And at long last, I did finish. The finish line was nothing special. In fact, people kept saying “just keep going,” then eventually I was riding into the festival crowd and I turned around. The follower vehicles were gone. No finish line, no bowl of pudding, no cheers or way to gos. I just got off my bike and sat on the ground for a minute. Shaking my head. Shaking all over, really. What just happened? I finished.

This may have been the hardest physical thing I had ever done. I had to work harder than I wanted for longer than I wanted because there was someone just over my shoulder, waiting for me to quit. No stops for photos or scenery. Just a fight through pretty much every single mile.

I am stubborn, that is for sure. I can endure pain and discomfort for as long as I need to. I can keep going. I can sustain. I don’t have to satisfy anyone but myself.

A bucket list activity turned into a one-and-done. A few bites of pudding and many sore muscles and memories. Sometimes the things you look forward to contain tests and challenges you don’t anticipate or imagine. But pushing through them is its own gift. It leaves you with a sense of achievement. And a plan to improve.