Category: author moments

author moments

Fact or Fiction

2chicksandapen

True or false.

Real or fake.

Is the story based on facts or fiction?

Is the story real or fake?

Is this statement true or false?

We all buy books at some point and read stories to learn about characters and plots. Some stories have truths while others are made up. Most are a mix of the two. We all watch movies and the same can be true of movies. Plots thicken. Audiences want more. Sometimes there are cliffhangers. Sometimes a series is anticipated. Some have lies. Some have truths. Some exaggerations to keep them wanting more.

Today I sit and think about life. What if somebody told a story about me. What if it was full of false statements. Would my friends and family believe me or the storyteller? If my story became a book where would the story line end? Happily ever after or more like branded for life in solidarity due to lies or mistruths? If my story was a movie, would there be a cliffhanger at the end? Would it become a series?

So much to think about. Lucky for me I don’t have any stories floating around that would be newsworthy, but what if did? Would I want passers by to be judge and jury? Would I want my story on the front page of the newspaper? I don’t think so. I don’t think anybody really would want such a spectacle made of them.

What if it happened to a business?  Maybe a bitter employee sought to tear a local business apart. Maybe an estranged family member planted a story. What if they called the news.  Secret cameras and a setup. People would speculate…stare in church and at the supermarket.  The neighbors whisper. With so many people seemingly angry at each other all the time, is it all that far fetched? With technology to create photos and data, can we tell if something is real? Is it fake? Could it happen to you?

I recently followed the Gwyneth Paltrow trial relating to a ski accident years ago. I was intrigued since I visited Utah this past winter and observed the ski life of many. The outcome was good for her but how did the other party feel? How did he feel during the trial? How does he feel after? Would he do anything different? I think about the same for Gwyneth. All in all it’s yesterdays news and although the news will fade those lives are forever impacted for better or worse. I have to note that my favorite part of the trial was Gwyneth sporting her Jeffrey Dahmer glasses. Classic style points to her.

As we flip the page from celebrity news we can see a past president facing charges in yet another spectacle for all to view under a microscope in the headlines. Will there be true or false statements circulated? Maybe both.  Now how many other people are subject to the public microscope that are not famous? How many have to deal with lies or fabricated stories? How are their lives altered?

What actually makes a story a headline? What makes a story one that garners public interest? Does there need to be death and carnage? Does there need to be a victim? Most good guy stories never see see the news. They never garner the attention of others. Does it make the story any less important? Does the public really relish on the the misfortunes of others? If you watch the news daily I would say yes.

I generally don’t watch the news. I generally don’t know what the big headline is. It usually doesn’t pertain to me. It won’t make my day better or worse. Oddly enough I know many who tune in daily to news to report it to others. Most time opinions are included. Where do you fall in the spectrum?

author moments, family

The Ball Field

2chicksandapen

It was a sunshiny day just after spring hit the air. A routine trip to the ball field for the third time this week to watch a game. It seemed like such a mom / dad thing to do after a workday. Then the phone chirps. It’s a Snapchat and another friend was at the ball field. Different sport. Different age group. Different gender. A weekday at the ball field was not for just me. It seems like a regular occurrence to run into friends and acquaintances any time one is at the ball field. 

On this day at the field the restroom visit was required. No toilet paper. Seems to be expected. The bleachers were the next stop. The gentleman next to me noted, geez they need to power wash this place it’s disgusting. I glanced around a bit. Maybe 60% seemed to be female and 40% seemed to be male in the crowd. Maybe 50 people were in attendance. All in their own conversations. Many talking about others nearby. Sometimes in a less flattering way. 

Then the match began. The heckling began. The obnoxious fans ran their mouths from both teams. Gasps were taken by some. Feet were stomped by others. Some raised their hand wide as if they were speaking to a large crowd. But no. Most times they spoke to themselves or those who heard them but didn’t listen. It’s so funny to observe actions at the ball field amidst competition. 

It was just another day at the ball field. Parents squeaking about play time or bad coaching. Players dancing at half time. Mispronounced names on the announcements at the start of the game. This time around their were no concessions so they’re might have been a few cranky siblings complaining about no sugary treats. I supposed that was a missed fundraising opportunity for the hosting team.

Most of the energy was focused on the loud and annoying teens that showed up late to the game. They heckled the players. They even chose to bark. An interesting barking sound. Loud screams were mixed in. Shouting towards the referees for calling against the home team. I must circle back to the barking noises. They were very odd and distracting for me and I was a good bit away. I can only imagine how the players felt that were nearby.

A day at the ball field. It’s something everyone should experience. From the age of 4-6 to middle school to high school and of course college. The sports may be the same but the audience can surely impact a game. These days sports seem different than when I was younger. I had more fun, less pressure and a stronger desire to grow as a player and teammate. These days kids seem to be strung up on perfection. Parents want highlight reels. Coaches want wins without looking at how to build character and teammates. 

One should really attend a game at the ball field where you know nobody. Listen to what goes on in the stands. Observe the coaching or lack thereof. Watch. See if leaders emerge on the field. Listen to how teammates speak to each other. See how hostile spectators are who are doing their best to officiate the game.

A day at the ball field. It can be as interesting as a day of people watching at the airport. Just stop, look and listen to what’s around. Maybe one will learn how to behave better at their own kid’s event. Who knows.

Just an observation post to think about.

author moments, travel

Local Symbols

2chicksandapen

On a recent trip to wintry Utah, we walked through a forest of aspen trees. Our guide on the adventure talked about the way the trees are all connected through their root systems. Utah has the aspen tree as a state symbol. It is meant to remind that we all connect through our roots. We are all interdependent and intertwined. We depend on the same earth for nourishment and sustenance. We are inseparable from one another in meaningful, sometimes hidden ways.

And still, each tree comes up as an individual. We all appear to stand on our own, with our own strength. Don’t forget your roots, though. Those connections make it harder to pull us out of the ground.

As I walked through a souvenir shop in the same town, I saw a sign on the back of a display…Utah is the Beehive State. My travel buddy had wondered at the strange almost poo-like shape on road signs…now the answer! A beehive. I said something to the shop owner and he chimed in about the origins of the symbol which came with the early Mormon settlers. The hive speaks about working as a unit. Staying together. Creating a sweet reward at the end. The land of Milk and Honey.

In a time where a feeling of community often seems lost, both of these symbols stuck with me. So too did each of the people who shared their meanings with such confidence and eloquence. We are all connected and working together seems necessary to make things that are beneficial and meaningful. A couple of random insights from recent travels.

author moments, awareness, challenges

It’s Been A Week

2chicksandapen

This week is one for the record books. 

So much to do in my own day-to-day life. The normal tasks. The one-off tasks. The fitness regimen. The community service. The people time. Travel. Life a-z. Then a boom hits. A real shocker nobody could ever plan for. Indirect connection. Direct connection. Neither matters when the boom is so hard the shock wave spirals for miles and miles. That’s what happen when a child dies that is interwoven in communities near and far due to school, church and sports connections.

My community is mourning the loss of a young girl. The day-to-day life seems insignificant yet life continues for our family. A guilt one should not want to feel. As a coach of young girls, I check in on social media. I text. I watch. I have to keep an eye out. I see so much hurt. I check in with other parents to see how grief is setting in on their home front. I see sadness on faces that normally boast bright smiles. I see prayer groups running non stop. Everyone is trying to get by with a little help from……

God

The community

Family

Friends

Loved ones

Many are holding on to cherished memories. Many are wondering why they didn’t get to say goodbye. Others are thinking why did I not do this or maybe why did I say that. When loss hits without warning so many raw emotions are stirred up. Time has become a thief. Time is no longer an option with that person. The loss of not doing is what is so hard.

Healing has begun for this community in some ways. No one will really ever understand the why behind this incident. None of us will really be exactly the same. Some kids will learn lessons and some will sit in the darkness for many reasons. Life is full of experiences and unfortunately death is one of them. Living through loss is where growth can happen even if it’s extremely hard in the moment. I’m learning how to be a better parent for example. I’m learning how to talk more deeply with other parents on how they are handling this type of grief and/or teaching moments.

I am however not passing judgment on the young girl. I am not passing judgment on the others involved. It’s not my place. It’s also not for me to decide who was in the wrong. My job is to be patient. To learn. To love. To be present. That’s it. Just a support role. A support for whomever needs it. When they need it. Today. Tomorrow. A year from now.

I will think of the color blue a little differently now. The baby blue hue that is a memory of her bright light on the world. A soft color to represent an angel in the distance. May her new journey be one that allows her to soar among the powdery blue skies. 

As one is set to be layed to rest. I pause. I reflect on my choices. My guidance to my kids. This could be me. This could be you. This tragedy can happen in your community. Teens are not invincible despite their beliefs. It’s great to feel invincible but we all know as adults how dangerous feeling invincible can be. For now I’m one of the lucky ones. I get to hug my teen. I get to continue the process of looking at colleges. I get to support my teen during this grief.

My heart goes out to the parents who don’t have that ability any longer. My strength goes out to the families whose children’s lives were spared that night. For they feel a different kind of grief and relief and guilt. My resilience is going out to the family of the one who ultimately has to face the legal system for this unfortunate situation. Another angle of this dilemma many may forget about but one that is equally challenging. Families will hurt for years to come. 

As I close my eyes to drift into a peaceful state I say a quiet prayer for all. Everyone needs something. May peace be granted to all in the ways that each needs for healing. I am also praying for healing of all involved in the other teen incidents that just happened to occur close by in the past few weeks as well.

The teen shot leaving school.

The teen stabbed with a box cutter in the school bathroom.

The football player gunned down at the mall.

Signing off as a lucky mom today. Heartbroken for the kids and families impacted by these tragedies. May this be a reminder that we as parents are not invincible. We can all be faced with that uncertainty one day. Stay humble. Be kind. Do what you can to help others. You may need the support one day.

author moments, challenges

Just Because…

2chicksandapen

Just because I can, doesn’t mean I will.

Just because I want, doesn’t mean I need.

Just because I do, doesn’t mean I should.

Just because.

Every day. Every week. Every month. Every year. We are all faced with should I? Could I? Would I? The decisions of life. Yes. No. Maybe so. I live in the world of yes most days. I don’t like no’s. And maybe so’s should always be yes if I’m asking but mostly no if somebody is asking me.

Just because.

If you want something, do you go for it?

If you need something, do you find a way to get it?

Did you ever get something, just because?

If I wanted a job, I’d find a way to get it. However today I see many who want jobs but have no will to get it.

If I want new shoes, I’ll buy them. Most times I don’t need, I just want. Definitely not practical but sometimes it’s just because. This is funny because the same folks who don’t have the will to get the job are also the same folks who will wait until their shoes are falling apart before getting new ones. I find the irony in this is I plan to have a backup in life. Whether it’s my shoes, my car or my job. Others fly by the seat of their pants. They have no plan, just because.

My just because is more about because I can, I will, I do. Others just because is more about because I can’t, I won’t or I missed out. Goals. Dreams. Desires. These are words in my wheelhouse. Limitless opportunities is what I always see.

Others see speed bumps, road blocks, and find excuses. Reasons not to drive forward. Reasons to sit in the parking lot today with no plan for tomorrow. No umbrella for the rainy day. No extra money for that special day. The longer you sit in this stage the longer you dread the future. All you will see is things you can’t have. You can’t do. You can’t achieve.

Just because.

Just because you need mental strength to battle the game of life. My opportunist self won’t let my mind loan out my precious head space to the I can’t of life. Will you let others invade your head space? Will you let your asshole boss dictate your long term worth? Will you wallow in self pity when life deals you a bad hand? Will you sit in status quo mode while those around you grow and prosper?

Just because you are at some unfavorable stage in life today, doesn’t mean you are stuck there. You just need will power, a little hope and a strong desire to change your circumstances. This all starts with your mind.

The I can do it mentality.

Just because you can.

Just because you will.

Just because you want to.