awareness, featured

The trigger. The seize. The aftermath.

 

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He was clearly upset. Withdrawn. Facing away from us when they finally arrived after going around and around and around again trying to find us. So much effort and time trying to relax at the beach. Environmental conditions created stress. A lot of stress.

The trigger: stress in his environment. Unknown factors lurking. A racing mind.

Recently he had been doing so well with helping and navigating and being responsible in life and on this trip. I know he is growing up and takes such pride in his adult successes… he’s achieving and as he achieves new challenges come. He is growing up.

Miscommunication leads to frustration adding to elevated stress levels. Triggers in his world. Triggers that can spark negative thoughts and emotions that make his mind race. The peace in his brain turns to excitement or sparks.

After staring into the ocean, silent, for a while, I could see he was trying to manage those feelings. Those sparks that agitate him. He finally just turned over and laid down, head down, on the beach blanket. No sunscreen, no words, no nothing. He was trying to settle him. I know that feeling!

Every few minutes he would pick up his head and pound the sand where his face would lay as hard as he could. I figured he was trying to carve out a resting spot for his ears and cheeks. But he was also still working out that ball in his stomach. He probably popped up three times to pound the sand. I offered him our shovel but he didn’t respond. He was in his own space. His own head space. He was battling his inner demons.

A turbulent mind I would explain to most. Filled with why me? Why now? Why in public? What did I do to deserve this life? At one point he got up and went to put his feet in the water then went right back to sleeping, wrapping a shirt around his head. he just laid there silent and still in the sun. One may think this is no big deal.

I see it. I see the challenge. I see the mental burden. I see the chaos lurking. I see the pending explosion. The seize is here. The seize is happening.

It was the sound that hit me first. It was a guttural scream, a groan, a call. A shout. And then he was jumping, lunging, arms out reaching for the closest object or person of comfort.

5-8 seconds seems like a lifetime in this moment. Passers by freeze. Judgment is silent. An eerie feeling is in the air as those close say nothing.

The girl who was sitting next to me in our low beach chair was the support. I knew what was happening and tried to jump in between them. Told him who I was and where he was. I used his name. It’s ok. It’s me. You’re on the beach. You are safe. Put my hand on his arm to try to calm him. He was still confused. He said his ribs were hurting and grabbed his side. That’s when I got scared since I didn’t know what that meant. I got help.

She was in in the water just feet away. Not out too far. I ran out to her and she was calm. She asked me what happened and just coolly walked back to him. She knew it was coming just didn’t know when.

At least she seemed cool compared to my jumpy insides. She called him over about halfway to him. Come get in the water with me. And he did. He went with her and they walked out together and a minute later he dove in the waves. I just watched silently as she cared for him and walked through it with him as she had a million times before. Then they called for boogie boards and I brought them quickly. Then off they went just laughing and swimming and hitting the waves.

When he came in you could tell he was a little quiet. Self conscious. She said he surveyed to see who noticed, who saw his episode. Like he has done many times before. Then the day just wore on. He threw the football and flew a boogie board like a kite and laughed and smiled his special radiant smile.

Did I do anything right? Did I help? His seizures are so different than the ones I had seen in the past. I thought I would help him get to the floor and try to cushion his head and protect him from hurting himself as the seizure ran its course. None of the that happened.

This was quick but violent. I wasn’t prepared. It was unexpected. If I was startled I could only imagine what this felt like for him. I understand he fears the seize daily. The unknown. The perceptions of others in the aftermath.

How would I feel living this way? Would I even want to live this way? I admire this boy for overcoming this challenge and the many challenges he will see in his future. Life isn’t easy. Adding a medical challenge like seizures to your life as you enter adulthood may be one of the toughest hurdles he will have to overcome.

I, like many others, admire this young man. He is so strong and so determined but also so tender and kind. He’s a caring soul. He loves kettle corn and kinder chocolate, he gives amazing hugs and is so generous with family and loved ones. He has also endured so much but never takes advantage. He works above and beyond and without drawing attention to it or complaining. He cares so hard for others, keeps a warrior’s heart while weathering storms in his own brain. New love new admiration. And a new desire to understand and cheer for him in ways that matter.

And then his Mom, who had taught him all of this with courage and resilience and determination. Who fights for him and expects him to become his best self. Uncompromising in her belief in him and advocacy for him.

I’m in awe and amazed constantly and more so now than ever. If you ever come across a family who battles daily with a medical challenge, offer kindness and hope your way.

You never know if it’s a good day or a bad day for them. They are most likely shielding their life struggles like most put a bandaid on a cut. Kindness matters. Never judge unless you can walk a day in that hero’s shoes.

He is my hero. Our hero. He his one tough cookie. Today we celebrate him and where he is going in life. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. Seize today.

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featured, friendship

They Get Me!

My close friends get me.

They get me at my best but they appreciate me at my worst. And no matter what, they are ready to support me when the sky is falling or when the sun is shining.

That’s how lucky I am. In the past 7 days, I was on the verge of meltdowns for various reasons and each time I wavered I found a pick-me-up. I connected with a friend who knew just what I needed without me saying what I needed. Heck I might not have even known what I need myself. The point is they knew.

Today it was a bad hair day. Call me crazy but it was. My hair felt like a mop or dead weight on my head. A toupee of sorts. Just dead weight. I called my friend/hairstylist and she just knew I needed her services stat. “Drop what you’re doing and come now,” she said. I did just that! In a blink of an eye I was in the car to her shop and wow what a difference she made in my day.

Changing my scenery, even if for a brief moment, was a game changer for my mood and my attitude. A little snip snip. A little conversation. Some giggles and it was time to conquer the rest of the day. Today I celebrate my pal Kim. Her swift action made my day. She was a mood changer in a big way. #moodswings

There is no doubt about it. If you feel good about you, one is unstoppable. Today my hair was my Kryponite. Not sure If it could have been my threat of giving myself a haircut that made her react as she did, but no matter what I’m glad she was there when I needed her. She said exactly what I needed to hear. Change your environment now.

At another time, I needed to blow off some steam after a long and stressful
day. Not my normal workout time but I needed to get my fitness in. Because my mood and time was off I didn’t feel like working out in a class. I was interested more in solitude. Less people, more one-on-one time with myself and what I need to do to push through the day.

My fitness plays a role in releasing stress of my day. If my schedule is off and I missed my fitness regimen I may just shift my mood to bitterness or edgy at times without even noticing.

She didn’t know my plan for the day. She didn’t know the stress of my day. She didn’t know what I still needed to accomplish after hours that was time sensitive. We all can have peaks and valleys in our work load but this day was like a hurricane of sorts. Little did I know when I bumped into another pal she would make a positive shift in my day.

It started when she opted to run with me at the gym. An hour run to nowhere to be exact. She didn’t need to but she kept me company. We shared smiles. We gasped for air together. We challenged each other a bit. We people watched a little. We giggled. During that time there were no worries in my world. I just wasn’t thinking about my to-do list or the ignorant people I dealt with that day.

Unexpected timing and connections happen. Sometimes those unexpected plans end up being amongst the most treasured memories you can make. For today I am thankful for my friend Milags, her time and her ability to giggle on demand.

In this pic we might have even been having some competition on the air runners. I wonder who was going faster? It didn’t matter because the picture clarifies our happiness of just being side by side.

Friends come in all shapes and sizes and from all walks of life. You never know when you will find a special friend. When you find a quality friend, let them into your world. They may not stay forever, but you can have fun making memories while they are present.

Remember friends may come and go in your life but when they come and make an impact, let them know. Friends are part of your journey. Some stay longer than others but they all play a role at some point. Kindness matters.

And last but not least, there is a virtual toast to my gal pal and writing partner Chick 2. There isn’t a day or week that goes by when we don’t connect to work on a project, plan a surprise or figure out how to balance our hectic and weird life on the daily. Her balance and kindness are always present and we make for a dynamic duo in all adventures we pursue.

In the past week, Beth was my listener friend. The friend that didn’t pass judgment or act as a Negative Nelly when she could have. She let her calmness lighten the load of the world’s woes. Maybe it’s the PhD in her or maybe it’s her tender heart. Either way I choose to celebrate her. Cheers to my pal Beth.

And to those I didn’t specifically name in this post, I adore you all. My relationships are valued whether near or far. Every relationship has a story and each story has a part in my past, present and future. Each of you play a role in making my stories and adventures fun and desirable.

When my friends say “that sounds like a bad idea. What time should I be there?” That’s dedication to my crazy. I couldn’t forget to mention this tidbit as it’s such an important one. I have many friends who are willing to test their limits and adventure on whim most days. Some even conquer fears with me. Mainly the fear of the unknown. The best part is we get to do it together. The adventures are sometimes big while others are small. When you read this you know who you are. There are many of you in my life that add to my crazy and adventure willingly with me. Thank you!

You make my day, my week, my month. These adventures matter. They matter because they keep my life moving and changing. My balance is about shifting, juggling, adventuring all of which represent growth in my world. Thank you to all my friends who help me grow each week.

Until I write about you or others in my future blogs, help me celebrate the Three Musketeers above and my unnamed adventurer friendships who impact my my mood, my productivity, my week and without question my attitude.

Friends matter. The friends that matter most value you in good times and bad.

#friendship101 #besties #1095days

dare to be different, featured, fitness and nutrition

Designed By Me, For Me

I’ve had the itch for a while now to get a pair of custom Nike Metcons. Did I really need them? No. But did I really want them? Yes. Do I work hard enough to indulge and buy? Heck yeah!

I waited patiently which is not my style. I am more the immediate gratification type. I let time pass. I watched new releases thinking I’m going to get these. Nope, I didn’t need them. Then I just decided I needed my own flair. I designed my own custom Metcons. Thank you Nike for letting me soar as an individual.

I left these in the cart for a while thinking, should I? And then one day I decided it was time. A gift to me, from me. The design part was simple. The visual confirm said “buy me.” Then the awful wait. Processing, making, finishing, shopping, and the wait. The suspense is just killing me as I wait patiently, getting ever so excited when Nike updates my inbox. 

A little Wonder Woman influence to match some shorts I have. A little individualized style on the tongues. And just an overall badass and obnoxiously loud pair of shoes to get my grind on with. Most of my gym clothes fall into the obnoxious category so might as well add shoes to the list!

So excited to put some mileage on these new kicks. Let me know if you give them a thumbs up or down.

It’s good to get some retail therapy here and there. If you have been holding off on that special gift for you from you, go for it. Let my post be the one to push you over the edge. Indulge indeed.

And for the record, that pair of Metcons that I had waited on ordering went on sale. Yep, they sure did. I bought those, too. Shaking my head at myself. #shoesgirl two pairs on the way. One custom, one basic off the shelf. They will still work the same.

Don’t judge me. I’m living my best life. Getting fit along the way. Smiling as I strut my stuff in my new comfy kicks.

And two thumbs up for the lifting inserts inside the new Metcons, the tissue paper and my name label. Nike did not disappoint. Bonus points to Nike for that extra boost.

dare to be different, featured

#1095days

The countdown is on!

I set the clock for 3 years or 1095 days or 26,280 hours. Three years to hit the fab at 50 mark. 1,095 days to crush some professional goals. 26,280 hours to get my fitness on (still hoping for abs).

Get your popcorn out. You have a front row seat. A chipper workout of sorts. A workout of the mind, the body and the spirit. One with many ups and downs and everything in between.

I will fight battles. I will climb mountains physically and mentally. I will make new friends and say goodbye to old ones. I will witness births and no doubt deaths of loved ones. I will see sunshine and darkness along the way.

I may find fame and fortune or I may end up hitting rock bottom. Whichever occurs you will get to watch the project unfold.

It will be a ride for the record books. What is at the end of the climb? A fantabulous year. I will turn 50 in 2022 and instead of celebrating one day or one month I will celebrate all year beginning 1.1.22, hence the countdown.

I will travel and soar to new sites and heights. Oh the adventures I will plan while I countdown the minutes, hours, days, months and years to 1.1.22.

I will chronicle my innermost thoughts, my ups, my downs and everything in between right here on this blog. 2019-2022 a glimpse of KT247. My blog will be a counterpart to the full story found in one badass book. Some will see three months some will see three years but this is a project that has been building for a lifetime. One must remember that life’s ups and downs can make you want to puke sometimes but most people like a good puke and tell story the day after. I will be banking on that fact as I chronicle my adventures here, there and everywhere.

Random footnote: the penguins in the spotlight pic represent me clicking my feet and tinkering around, thinking about the adventures to be had in the next three years as part of this project and the fun my partner and I will have packaging up this project in the full book version for all to see our dynamic duo style.

Success is generally dependent upon drive and persistence. I have both, but I also have a zest for life and a vim and vigor like no other. Some say it’s all in the Tinkersauce! Whatever the coin phrase is, it’s my story and I am writing about it. It’s all about me.

I will take the extra time, the extra effort to journal along the way. You won’t see everything but you will see what I note as highlights. You might have to buy the book to get the full story.

Get ready for the pictures, the videos, the stories, and so much more. Welcome to my world of storytelling with a twist!

#KT247 #2CHX #1095Days

dare to be different, featured

The Photo Story

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If you’ve been reading our blog for a while, you know the 2 Chicks have been through some pretty big changes this year.  Physically, professionally, personally, you name it, we changed it. To celebrate these changes and continue creating our big vision for 2019, we recently met for a photo shoot. Here’s a glimpse!

As usual, we got to laughing pretty quickly.

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And then, in classic #2chx style, one of us couldn’t stop laughing, which left the other rolling her eyes…

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And finally, the as-close-to-serious-as-we’re-getting-today moment… Are they angry?  Are they daydreaming? Bored? Do they even know each other? It’s anyone’s guess…

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Yup, that’s a glimpse of just a few of the faces of 2 Chicks and a Pen. Every day is an adventure.  Some days are giggles, some days eye rolls, some days who are you? We just wonder.

Oh yeah…one final surprise from the photo shoot.  Another example of just how different these 2 Chicks are…Who wore it better? Drop your thoughts in the comments! (I’d ask you which one the librarian is, but maybe that’s obvious….?)

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Anyway, big things are coming in 2019 for these 2 Chicks.  Our next chapter will be an exciting one! Keep following us here, on Instagram, and facebook for all the latest updates.