Category: awareness

awareness, challenges

Dear Abigail

2chicksandapen

You will be okay.

You are merely experiencing a bump in the road of life. It’s not the end of the road today. It’s just a bump in the road. A discomfort of sorts. Your mind may want you to feel the end is near but you control those thoughts.

1 hour.

1 day.

1 week.

1 month.

Live each ounce of the day to the fullest. Tomorrow is never guaranteed but if you live in the moments of today you won’t regret what could have been. 

Today I am sitting in the sun. It’s a fall day which could be cold but it’s not. I’m making the most of the extra sunshine in my day. I could do other things but in the moment the warmth of the sun feels calming. The warmth seems ready to be soaked up. Why shouldn’t it be me who enjoys it?

Often we see life through a doom and gloom lens. However we all have the opportunity to look at life in a more positive manner. My life is like a ray of sunshine. Not every day in every moment but enough moments in a day to make my day a good one.

I hope you can surround yourself with people who help you see the sunshine in the forecast Abigail. You deserve to focus on the wide open road ahead instead of the bumps in your immediate path.

Keep shining.

Keep smiling.

Keep your faith.

Good things are on the horizon. 

You just have to look far enough into the distance to see them.

Maybe you know an Abigail. Struggling with life’s low points. Be a that positive Polly and make a difference. Send a card. Drop a quick text. Have coffee and conversations. Share a smile. Whatever it takes to make that one day better.

That’s what I’m doing for Abigail today. I’m making a difference the best way I know how.

awareness

NYC After Midnight Part 4

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The night came to a close.

An Uber ride for 3 miles away was on the agenda. The app was showing a surge but the price was still around $30.00 which seemed fair. Then the craziness started.

Random men flashing the Uber logo to get your business. The catch was they were not real Uber drivers. $150.00 one shouted. I’ll get you are ride for $175.00. $100.00 over here. There were at least 50 gentlemen stalking you. In your face. Behind your back. To your side. It’s the dark hour. It’s the big city. This is crazy!

To think in that moment, how many out-of-towners or foreign visitors fall prey to these scams. I thought a lot in that moment of who I was with, how to be safe and how things would be different if even one individual is my party was different. How this situation could have shifted drastically.  Having street sense is so important when travel in a city, at night during very busy events. Just so much opportunity for misfortune can be lurking nearby.

We dodged that area. It took a minute but we went to a real Uber pick up area. Or did we? A spray painted sign leading to an underpass of the highway. That sounds safe, right? Before we even get close enough we decide it’s just not a good choice. Then the heavens open up. A fierce patch of rain hits us. Yes, we got wet. Once we escaped the flash rain we regrouped on a street corner. Well lit with a police officer sitting on the opposite corner.

Despite the calmness of the night, the well lit area and the police presence we were still a target or easy prey. Up rolls the late model small sized suv. The window goes down and says I’m your Uber. Really? No you are not. That’s why Uber has validation codes and labels showing it’s an Uber of Lyft vehicle for that matter. He was relentless. He turned off his vehicle and said, I’ll just wait until you are ready. I know you need a ride. Wow, just wow is all I could think of.

Regroup session #304 it seemed like. Headed back toward the corral of fake Uber drivers to see if the bus was still running its routes. That would at least be a bit safer than the other options. Then luckily our short walk landed us on the side of the street where the cab service has just replenished its line of cabs. A real cab. A meter. A photo IS. Phew. We found a viable option.

The cab smelled like urine and sweat. Luckily it was only a three mile trip. The driver was nice but offered a cash option vs credit card. One of the passengers opted for cash quickly. Little did she know that that meant he didn’t turn on the meter. He would in essence pocket the fare. In most instances it wouldn’t be a big deal, but I thought otherwise given the interactions in the last hour.

Would we make it 3 miles to our destination. If there was no record of the pickup who would know where were ended up. I had so many thoughts run through my mind. Maybe I shouldn’t think this way but I did. I had my antennas up and I was ready to bail from the back seat if anything went wrong.

I made it to my destination in one piece. I did learn to always be aware of your surroundings and make sure you have a plan with your travel mates. How to handle awkward situations. Who makes the final yeah or nay decisions when the group can’t decide. Who is most responsible and equipped to navigate a specific travel destination.

Maybe remote Idaho you don’t need to think about these things, but in a big city to another country you should definitely have a plan. You should also know if you blend in or stick out. That in itself can make you a target. Are you showcasing you are a traveler with a shirt for an event on and a gift bag? Are you an outfit maybe not suited for a everyday train ride? Are you a different ethnicity amidst a a crowd of different background?

Little things one may not want to think about. Just a word to the wise when traveling. Don’t be naive. Consider worst case scenarios and just be aware. Don’t hike in a remote trail on the middle of nowhere without leaving your itinerary with friends or family. It’s like pilots file a flight plan, subsequently we should all file a travel or excursion plan or at least share our location with others as a safety measure.

Just a random city post of what may or may not happen in the city at night. It could be in a suburb as well. This post merely uses the city as it was an actual experience lived.

I still love NYC even with all its craziness.

awareness, hustle

The List of Three

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One day she was asked to make a list of three. Unplanned assignment. Thought required. Time was limited for the response. The gut answered.

The list boiled down to three simple words. 

Commitment.

Consistency.

Prioritizing.

Each can be applied to life and self daily. Committing to self. Committing to goals. Consistently working on self. Consistently working towards goals. Prioritizing what is important to self. Prioritizing life to mesh with all of the above.

At times these three words can work for you. At times these words can work against you, if you let them. Perspective is important in life. Everyone has their own perspective or view. Sometimes we need to show others a new perspective to foster growth. Sometimes no effort is needed as your modeling of those three words show themselves in life. 

If you had a list of three words what would they be? Why would your gut spit those words out? What do they mean to you?

For her, it seems she is hyper-focused on her short term goals. These require commitment, consistency and prioritization daily. I do believe that is why her gut answered with these three words. However these words have depth. They go beyond her initial short term goals. Rather they are staples in her every day life. 

Sometimes she may get off track in life and need to refocus. Realign priorities. Recommit to something. Practice consistently doing what needs to be done to achieve a, b and c.

Life.

Words.

Actions.

In life she chooses words that have actions. She chooses actions that have meanings to her. She also take actions without hesitation. Sometimes she may stumble. Sometimes she may shine. Either way she is writing her story and living it each day. Some days you get an up front seat. Some days you don’t.

I am her. 

My action words for the purpose of this post are undoubtedly:

Commitment.

Consistency.

Prioritizing.

As I close out this post I can say each of these action words are helping me reach my next milestone. Where will your three words take you?

awareness

Death Again

2chicksandapen

Twice in a week.

Two dads in 7 months.

2 kids in 9 months.

One community.

So much death. Such a far reach for those impacted. Lives altered. In the blink of an eye.

Plan ahead is something I have always done to the best of my ability, but I want to share that message. Make sure your will is up to date. If you have a business make sure you have a succession plan. Get life insurance. Death isn’t cheap. Know what your loved ones want should they pass. It might be hard to start the conversation about death but it’s important to know one’s wishes.

Cremation vs burial?

How to wrap up affairs?

Loss.

Grief.

Loneliness.

It all looks different for everyone.

I’ve thought a lot about living lately. Living the best life each day. Not being burdened with issues that really don’t matter to me. Finding time to do things that are important to me. Less have to’s and more want to’s. Just being present. Avoiding the negativity others can cast upon you.

We can never predict when death will hit us. We won’t know if it will be slow and predictive or fast and without notice. For me I want to go quick. I would prefer not to suffer. I also don’t want to be a burden for others to care for. That’s just me.

I also want to be remembered. I want those I have known to come to my celebration of life: I want my memories to live on in my photos and stories. If I passed today, I think I would have accomplished these things. 

How would you be remembered if you passed today?

Would you have friends or colleagues attend your services?

Do you want to leave behind a legacy or just become a moment that passes?

As morbid as these lyrics sound, they are true. They come from a country music song I heard recently with my mom. When you lose somebody close. A spouse. A friend. A child. You will grieve. You will will have moments of sadness and loneliness. But once it’s chiseled in stone it’s permanent. Make the best of today before your name is chiseled in stone.

I hope that after this post I can go a period of time without experiencing death again. Although it is my wish it may not be my reality. Only time will tell. For now I cherish today.

awareness

Community

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Every once in a while, a word starts to stick in my mind. I go from just hearing it in regular conversation to actually noticing it, thinking about it, and reconsidering it. Lately, that word has been community.

The first time I noticed noticing it was at a recent drum corps competition. I was a band geek in high school. Band is its own kind of thing. I haven’t been in band in decades, none of my own kids went that route, so just walking up to the parking lot where the competition was taking place was an immediate immersion in a long ago land of shlepping equipment, warm up scales, and oddball friendships. I saw the families wearing their corps fan gear like they were repping a major league baseball team. Probably 5% of the general population (at most) has a connection to this activity. But once you are in, you are really in. And it is a community.

I think about other communities I belong to. CrossFit. Street Parking. My school. And those I don’t…things like hunting. Swifties. RV travel / ownership. Most other sports. Online gaming communities. The list goes on.

What makes a community? Communities have their own rituals. For band, there is the preshow warm up, chants and cheers. Communities have ways to connect. For some it might be a facebook group, or extend to meetups, events like an RV or boat show, or coming to games / events and tailgating. Communities have a lingo….for band it might be drill, front / pit, drum major, section, and so on. They have official or unofficial uniforms. You have swag or hats or things to wear (real or virtual). Communities have boundaries. For band, that might start with auditions. If you’re in you’re in, but if you’re not you know that too. Communities have calendars, or, more specifically, seasons. In-season, off-season, certain challenges happening, etc. Communities have times of activity and times of rest. Times of preparation and times of activation / celebration.

In many, maybe even most, cases, community is a “feel good” word. We often feel positively about identifying with a community`. We choose to be a part of it and buy in to what a community is about. At times, a community can even go so far as to be part of our identity. I’m not a band geek actively anymore, but when I go back to those events, I look around and can feel the community vibe. It takes me back to a time when that was such a big part of who I was and how I acted in the world.

Why all this talk about community? Seeing the word pop up over and over again made me think about the communities I belong to, and which I don’t. Going on an RV trip with a friend caused me to consider how that activity is its own type of community with people who enjoy it all over the world. There are seasons, rituals, gear, lingo, and events. But perhaps the real impetus for this was when the word community was used as a bludgeon in a dispute.

For all of the virtues and benefits of community membership, there are those who will weaponize community in order to exclude, to diminish, to demonize. Community becomes a way to make people feel less than, left out, pariahs. The borders become more about “who isn’t” than “who is.” This reminds me of cults, when people blindly follow leaders of “communities.” The spokespeople who deliver messages from the community as a way of pressuring conformity. I’m always wary when someone speaks on behalf of a community. While communities share a lot, they are never homogenous. They are full of individuals who (hopefully) still think for themselves.

For every community we are willingly a part of, there are also those we avoid. We may even live inside the physical (or mental) boundaries of a community, but resist being a member of something with values, attitudes, and practices we reject. I was raised Catholic, but can’t support many of the exclusionary principles at its core.

What communities do you belong to? Which are by choice? Which are by happenstance? How do communities enrich your life? And which have you / should you resist?