family, Teddie Aspen

Dog Lessons

It wasn’t long ago I was digging through boxes leftover from my childhood home. I ran across an American Kennel Club certificate. Maximillian was his name.

I had heard his name many times in my life, often with a sneer from one of my brothers. They loved their dog, and I was the reason we got rid of him. Maximillian, the prized pooch, couldn’t stop knocking me over as a newly walking toddler. So, he had to go.

All this to say, I didn’t grow up with dogs. I had a cat named Snoopy I treasured but was allergic to (a story for another post), but never a dog. I just didn’t get dogs. Never wanted one. And who knows, maybe I was even a little scared of them from all my hard knocks as a babe.

As an adult, when my family wanted to get a dog, I resisted. We even had a dog live with us for a while that didn’t really work out. We ended up taking him to a new home where he could have the room and attention he needed.

Then Penny came along. My sister-in-law became her unexpectedly permanent foster mom. She needed a place to live and a family to love her. Would we be interested? I didn’t really want this at all. We could take her for a 2-week trial to see if we could handle it.

And she never left. We live together but I wouldn’t say she loves me. Still, my heart softened seeing how much everyone else loved her. She changed our family.

And then came the dog that I really did love. Chester. The unlikely, homely, wiry guy from the pound. The underdog. I didn’t even know why we would ever need 2 dogs. I was just getting used to 1! Then Chester who got scared by sudden movements and noises, Chester who always backed out of the room…Chester came along. He was very shy at first but eventually came around and became sweet, playful Chester. He loves to run and bound through the woods, and his sad eyes will pull at your heart strings every time. Chester changed my heart about dogs.

Now there’s the newest member of the clan named Nash, who I’ve taken a liking to. I even embrace my extended family and friend’s dogs. Heck, I even get to walk dogs and dog sit once in a while. Truthfully, I still don’t know how to act around dogs, and they can tell. It doesn’t come naturally for me and maybe never will. Thankfully, I’ve learned that many dogs are pretty forgiving if you at least try. They teach me about protection, loyalty, priorities and unconditional love. They seem to bring out the best in people just by being there and present in the moment. That bowls me over in the best of ways.

awareness

In the Dark

When I wrote a recent post called nightfall, I thought back to many other nights and the sounds that were different in life. A lot less peaceful. Scary. Bothersome. Then I thought I should share a different kind of nightfall. One many will never know and most would never enjoy.

The haunting night from a child’s eyes. One of many scary night scenarios that happen behind closed doors. Do you think you know what this story will be about?

Maybe you think know but I doubt you really could know unless you lived in these shoes. The sounds of the night that are not so bright. So here goes.

Boom! Wake up! A loud shriek from the other room. A bang on the wall. Now more pounding. A loud scream. That’s my brother making those noises. What is happening?

In the middle of the night it happened again!

What is it? Why am I wide awake? What time is it?

At first I didn’t know but then my parents explained it me.

Boom. Aaaaaaahhhhhh. Shake shake shake. Boom. Ahhhhhhhh. Ouch! Another high pitch shriek. A piercing duh duh duh duh duh sound on repeat. A fearful and painful scream.

That is my brother making those loud sounds as my parents rush to him. What is going on I asked?

Go back to bed, says mom.

I peek from my bedroom door. It is my brother having a seizure in his sleep.

My brother has had seizures since I was in my mommy’s tummy as a baby so I don’t know him any other way.

I love my big brother. He is the best big brother.

He can’t help himself when he has a seizure. It’s a medical problem.

Most people won’t understand seizures if they don’t get educated about them because people look okay on the outside but inside their brain they sometimes have a firework party that makes their whole body shake.

His body gets tight and shakes and he makes painful sounds for about 10 Or 20 seconds.

The time seems like hours when you have to watch your brother have a seizure but it’s only seconds.
Count 1 Mississippi
2 Mississippi
3 Mississippi
4 Mississippi
5 Mississippi…
6
7
8
9
10

See it’s not too long but now I have to try to go back to sleep. I have a test at school tomorrow. Wait so does my brother. Oh no.

My tummy hurts a little because I am worried about him. Mom says I have to sleep school starts early in the morning for both of us.

Just when my parents get him settled back to sleep,

it happens again. And again.

My parents say this is a cluster and I should go back to bed. But they don’t know I really watch my brother.

I watch him sleep to make sure he is okay. I don’t want him to hurt himself.

Oh no, here comes another one. Breathe my mom says breathe.

This is hard to watch. Even the sounds are hard to listen to.

My brother is so strong he can hurt somebody when he has a seizure. Watch out mom. She ducks as he flails and swings his arms and legs.

I watched him break a table when I was younger. I watched him hurt himself when had a seizure and bumped the wall too hard.

I wish the doctors could fix my brother but they can’t.

I am going to be a doctor one day. I want to help kids who have seizures. I wonder how many other people see seizures at night. My mom calls them nocturnal seizures. I call them terrifying.

Nightfall can be peaceful on many days in many environments however there can also be a darkness associated with nightfall. This example shows a glimpse into a medical environment that is extreme to some and normal to others.

Some children have a different fear of nightfall. The sounds of rage or alcoholism for example. These sounds play out a bit differently. Ponder those thoughts or scenarios as you set in for your nightfall. Somehow the sounds of crickets seems worlds away.

This post came from the vault. A vault of posts that are written but may not come to life until a later date. For this post it’s today.

As the world has changed so much with corona, some nightfalls have remained the same for some but magnified for others. Those with scary nights like the ones noted above still suffer on top of the uncertainties corona brings. It’s important to consider the burden of others who may not be as lucky as you when night comes.

3Splitz Farm, adventure

Farming

It’s kind of funny how life works out. Some days you’re plugging away at your day job in a very routine and regimented way and boom. Life changes. In an instant. In an explosive type of way.

You go from predictable to spontaneous. You take a look at life and say why not? Enter the word farming. Farming is a way of life. Are you farming crops? Are you raising livestock? What is your farming niche or lane? Where is your farm? Is it a hobby farm or a revenue-generating business?

I am not your typical farmer, live-in-the-country type of girl. I like Starbucks drinks. I have muscle cars. I love to go to the nail and hair salon. I like to work out at a gym. I like to go to the grocery store down the road each week.

Then there was opportunity. Somehow in a twist of fate, farming crossed my path. To some it’s a big opportunity. To others it’s a crazy shift. No matter to me, it’s my next adventure. Farming my way.

Farming, farm girl, farm life. New project in the makings. I will provide a glimpse of shifting from glamour girl to farmgirl. Part-time or full-time doesn’t matter because it will take a dynamic team to manage the project that is unfolding. The farm has a name. An identity. A brand. A plan. And of course goals to get after.

The fun has begun. My picking adventures were a part of a barn project I wrote about recently. The funding has begun in a big way making the project real. From land selection to procurement and beyond. This weekend’s big investment was a livestock trailer. Last week was tractor and components. Learning my way as I go. Big dollar spends on the front end. No real ROI to see yet but that’s part of the process.

Teaming is key in this equation. I will leverage many talented people as I evolve. I already started the process. As I learn I will pass on knowledge as well. What to do. What not to do. How to get started. How to push through the tough stuff.

Look for an introduction to my farm life in future posts. I am sure you will be some furry friends along the way. 2Chx will be covering our farm adventures as they unfold. Looking forward to showing the world what entry level farming looks from the inside. The good, the bad, the ugly.

Stay tuned for my definition of farming, farm adventures, life learning, mentoring, entrepreneurship, and so much more.

Let the excitement begin.

family

Missing You

The last few days I have been missing my dad or the spirit of my dad.

Grief is a funny thing. It creeps up on you at unexpected times. It can be just a flutter in your heart or a vivid memory jerking the tears.

For me I have a night time shirt. An XXXL-type shirt bearing his photo. Not one I would wear out but one that’s comforting for those sleepy days. Maybe the visual on the shirt sparks the memories. Maybe it was the card in the mail from hospice on grief. Maybe it’s just the dust settling. I’m really not sure the nature of its source but it can take your breath away.

No matter the source I miss my dad in all forms. His younger vibrant days as my dad when I was a kid. The middle of the road days where he helped me navigate adulthood. To the end days when he needed help eating his dessert. I just miss him. There is really no replacement.

As life lessons need to be passed to my kids I find myself thinking what would he do. For now I cherish the memories and honor his spirit as I push forward.

I may never say goodbye to grief but I can push through the sadness. He would expect me to. Writing is a great form of therapy for me. If you lost somebody close to you, journaling your thoughts is always a great opportunity to push through the sadness.

I also have a great bestie named Teddie to hang with me as I write and today it was a nice cold glass of almond milk to wash away the woes.

Until next time…

perspective

Travel Updates

A while back, Chick 1 shared her experiences with travel during the pandemic.  I recently took a weekend jaunt and thought I’d share a view of today’s travel from my perspective.

We have entered the mask zone. We arrived in Tennessee at the very start of their mask mandate.  We “masked up” pretty much everywhere we went, from hotel lobbies to gas stations.  It became our reminder / rallying cry every time we got out of the car.  Starbucks even provided them on their counter.  (But, the indoor seating was closed and all traffic was one way.)

Buffets are a pandemic no-no, so we ordered off the menu then took breakfast sandwiches, pastries, and drinks up to the room to microwave.  Better than some of our friends who just got a grab bag with a granola bar and a piece of fruit.

Masks shopping.  Sanitizer in lobbies.  It’s becoming part of the scenery.

We were at a tournament, so the girls started their morning with temperature checks.  No team tent, instead we tailgated with our immediate framily group behind our car. All of the spectators wore masks on the sideline (or we were supposed to). I won’t discuss the bad behavior by some fans, but I will say that many tempers were on edge in the extreme heat and what I would say is extreme stress for many.

But, on the upside, we did have some great moments outside, at a distance, mask-free.  And thanks to the El Arroyo Sign for the giggle below, which hits a little close to home.

IMG_2582

Another glimpse inside pandemic life. What have you seen on your travels?  Let us know in the comments.   Be safe and keep smiling.