Tag: perspective

perspective

Hero or Villain?

2chicksandapen

Out of the corner of my eye, I see them. Someone I haven’t talked to or heard from in a long time.

Maybe it’s a few rows over at a meeting, or checking out at the grocery store, or even across the field.  We share a quick hello or nod.

I think to myself, wow, it’s been a while.  They haven’t posted much lately. I scan through social media only to find…I’ve been blocked.  Blocked!

There was a time in my life that this discovery would have consumed me.  No matter who it was that blocked me, whether we were ever close or got along well or not, it would set me on a spinning path of questions…what did I do?  What didn’t I do? Was it something I said?  Why don’t they like me?!?!?  In stereo, on repeat, for hours on end.

Thankfully now I’ve realized that being universally liked isn’t possible or even a worthy goal.  There will always be people who don’t like me, my choices, or how I do things.  There are people who won’t want to be connected to me.  And that’s ok. It’s not a ringing indictment of who I am or what I do or don’t do.  People come and go.  Some connections work well and others are temporary. It is what it is.

I’ve also learned to accept that in some cases, I am not just unliked.  I am actually the villain in someone else’s story.  I’ve made mistakes and bad decisions.  I’ve had bad days and dumped my grouchiness on others.  People have gotten hurt along the way.  Even if I didn’t mean to, there are people who don’t remember the chapters we shared fondly.

But on the flip side of that, I am also the heroine of sorts in some people’s stories.   I am  the comic relief to others.  I am the (relatively) reliable narrator, the plot twist, and these days I may be the character who develops in surprising or unexpected ways.

At this point, I am grateful for the heroes and the villains in my own story.  I realize that I have some control over who gets speaking roles in my life and who needs to just be a minor character.  I’m grateful for growing up enough to know that being written out of someone else’s story isn’t always the worst thing that could happen. I have my own next chapters to write.  What about you?

mental health, perspective

Take A Chill

2chicksandapen

Sometimes we all need a moment to chill out. Just relax and really not do anything. For me that was a visit to my back deck one morning.

It was not too hot out, just right before 8am. The birds were chirping away and cars were passing by in the distance. Just some slight background noise.

A brief time out from life. A break from the computer. A break from today’s masked world. A little frisbee with pup before the sun hits the deck.

As I sit here and contemplate my day, my life happenings and the world as a whole I think about peace. I am at peace with where I am, where I am going and who is on board for the ride. It’s good to take inventory of life from time to time.

We all need to make sure our co-pilots are traveling to the same destination. We need to know our cheerleaders in life are truly there working with vs. against us. We need to make sure our mindset is in tune with all of the above.

This is sometimes a reset, refresh, recharge moment for people. It sometimes needs to be done multiple times a year. It may even require one to put a wall up, exclude, or ignore the Negative Nellies of one’s inner circle who are circumventing success. That’s a lot for some to overcome.

I am in a peaceful state in life. Maybe it comes with age. Maybe it’s maturity. Maybe it’s luck. Whatever it is, I am thankful. I am thankful for the bumpy roads in life that have taken me to today. I look forward to tomorrow. I look forward to the memories, milestones, and bumpy roads.

May you explore your refreshing moments like me on my back deck. One day or two. Make the time. You are a priority.

 

health, perspective

Doctor Doctor

2chicksandapen

Who called the doctor? Seems like many I know had to call the doctor this week. Maybe things are getting back to normal after COVID or maybe just the opposite.

Let’s start with my visit to the doctor. The dermatologist to be specific. Nothing traumatic or life altering just a quick zappy in and out visit but how this visit seemed so different!

It started in the parking lot. The parking lot is a make shift COVID drive-thru testing site. You see the white tent. The medical staff all suited up in hazmat gear in 90 degree heat. Same as it’s been for months but the past few days there were lines around the building and to the street. Why the mad rush?

After sorting through that I had to go into the medical building which has a pharmacy in the lobby. It seemed to be a senior citizen magnet spot. Walkers, wheel chairs, masks and lots of slow moving people. Once you maneuver that traffic you hit the elevator.

The elevator had signs for two people at a time so there was a wait. Then the two masked individuals look at each other like who is gonna press that button that could possibly have COVID on it. I just hit it. That opened up a conversation with the stranger who said she was glad I had a mask on or she wouldn’t have ridden with me. Interesting comment but I had to wear one for my appointment. No big ordeal for me.

Now I arrive at the second floor to have my temperature checked and had to answer a questionnaire. Then I could proceed to the window or shall I say plexiglass now. But again it’s different.

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Every other seat is marked off like a restaurant. Signs on the floor noting social distance rules. So much change. It’s a lot to comprehend. Then there is the chatter in the lobby. Should schools start up? Do you wear a mask outside? Just different chatter than pre- COVID. This was an experience for me. A people watcher I am. An observer. I took in so much this day.

Then I heard the news. My gym shut down. Somebody tested positive and a deep clean was needed. That was the first boom. Then a friend tested posted for COVID which was boom 2. Then another friend was exposed and had to go for test and is now playing the wait-and-see game. And let’s not forget about all the mental health mailers, emails and announcements circulating. Many are overwhelmed and really need the doctor.

The world we live in today is ever changing. A simple visit to the doctor is so much more complex. Society is weighing risks at every turn. Commerce has changed in so many markets. People are self-shamed when they let others know they have tested positive for COVID. One friend said it’s like telling the world you have an STD. Just not a proud moment in life. Hadn’t really thought about that.

As I worked this day I looked up at a cell tower and thought we have so much technology. The sky is the limit in so many arenas. Yet we are all frozen in COVID times to some extent.

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Will normalcy revert back any time? What is normal now anyway? Is anyone else sick of  COVID and the havoc it’s wreaked in your area?

I just needed to go to the doctor and somehow I ended up on this rant. At least I got a in-person appointment because telemedicine wasn’t a fit for my need.

Here’s to hoping I get to stay away from the doctor moving forward. It seems less stressful.

friendship

Riding Free

2chicksandapen

This weekend I went for a bike ride. A different kind of bike ride than I normally post about.

The bike is still red but it’s a Motorcycle vs a self-propelled bike. An Indian bike to be specific. I got the chance to ride with a couple of pals and we left early before the heat of the sun was upon us. A quick breakfast at a local spot before we hit the road.

We headed straight for the mountains. I was a passenger so I was in the observation seat. The seat that allows you to take in all the sights, sounds and smells. Care free for the most part. Sometimes it’s nice to just be a passenger. A mindless passenger with no role aside from hold on!

I was specific on the type of ride I was willing to go on. A smooth ride, not a windy switchback ride. That meant we took a scenic route. It was pleasant.

Smelled a lot of fresh cut grass, some cow poop, some yummy baked goods and a little bbq. Got to see some rolling hills, pretty pastures, old and new barns, donkeys, ponies, horses, cows, chickens and a few dogs.

I waved to many people sitting on their porches and gave the side wave to many motorcycles as we passed. I heard lots of birds chirping, a few sirens, a couple of horns and as we passed through a town I heard people.

The sound of people was far less in this tourist town than usual. Maybe only 25% of the normal seasonal volume. It was a bit eerie. The sounds were also muffled as many wore masks. One notable sight was the tubing bus that passed us to head to the river. It was full of people but each and every one had masks on. Talk about a new normal. Below is a quick text break photo op. Got to make sure our connections know all is good when on the road.

By the time the tubers escaped the bus the masks were gone but for that bus ride they were mandatory. It was also noticeable that the parking lot for this normally full tubing place was desolate. I saw one bus load vs. the 10 that would normally pass. I couldn’t help but wonder how many people were struggling in this small town financially due to the pandemic and loss of tourist revenue.

We took a rest at the little town. It was getting hot so we got some water and a snack of beef jerky. I normally like to go into the jerky stores to sample the different flavors to try something new. Not this time. No samples! Thanks again covid. however, I was happy to buy some mystery jerky and support a small business in the area.

As I rode free, I took in the sites, the sounds, the smells and the new normal. Masks and all. I had a great time but it was different sitting in the observation seat this time. I just got to see the new normal from a different lens. This gave me a new perspective.

Safety first with helmets but no masks for these girls on this ride. We had a ton of fun which means we will probably have more bike adventures. Watch out for biker babe stories coming in the future.

Who knows what town we might ride into next……

 

perspective

Is Life Fair?

2chicksandapen

Life isn’t fair on most days to many. If you took a poll of 100 people, I feel confident that the majority would share some stories of how life is unfair to them.

Is there even a fairness card somebody could get when they are born? I guess this is funny to mention.

Life is full of many ups and downs and twists and turns. On any given day one person could be celebrating a victory while another person is crying over a loss. Is this fair? I doubt it.

A woman may get a government contract over her male counterparts due to a government set-aside stipulation. Is this fair? Probably not if you ask the male.

A boy gets a better rate on health insurance compared to a girl the same age because she is in her child-bearing years. Is this fair? Not if you ask the female.

Life is what you make of it. You can’t compare yourself to others and you can only try to do your best with whatever options are available to you at that moment in time. If you get a flat tire your car you need to change it if you want to keep moving. On the flip side if you want to keep moving in life you need to change your attitude to I can vs. oh woe is me.

I referenced a moment in time above as time can change things for many. As you get older you may be wiser and have more financial wellness today in comparison to 5 years before. Is this fair? Not to the 18-year-old applying for their first loan.

Sometimes I think my kids think they should get the latest cell phone because their bestie has one or they should be paid the same wage per hour to do the same job as a coworker with years of experience. I’m not sure where they got this train of thought as I never taught that.

In life, fair doesn’t mean equal. Everyone can hope for equality but that doesn’t happen in all scenarios. Life is full of variables. Take the old saying is this glass half full or half empty: your perspective may differ from mine. That’s the beauty of life.

Life’s uncertainty leads to lessons learned. Lessons foster growth. Having a growth mindset allows you to change your surroundings, your future, your present and many benefits I can’t list.

This post is about the word no. Sometimes you need to hear no many times before you hear yes. It may not be fair but if you are consistent you may see more yes in your life.

Today I said no to somebody. Yesterday I said no to another. I don’t always like hearing bad news but sometimes the truth is what one needs to hear to grow. To step outside their box. To find another way. To enable them to shift their mindset into how to do vs. who can do for me.

If we always found yes answers we would have a weirder society than we have now. I had this little yellow book on a table in my house for years. I think many could read it and grow from it.