perspective

Is Life Fair?

Life isn’t fair on most days to many. If you took a poll of 100 people, I feel confident that the majority would share some stories of how life is unfair to them.

Is there even a fairness card somebody could get when they are born? I guess this is funny to mention.

Life is full of many ups and downs and twists and turns. On any given day one person could be celebrating a victory while another person is crying over a loss. Is this fair? I doubt it.

A woman may get a government contract over her male counterparts due to a government set-aside stipulation. Is this fair? Probably not if you ask the male.

A boy gets a better rate on health insurance compared to a girl the same age because she is in her child-bearing years. Is this fair? Not if you ask the female.

Life is what you make of it. You can’t compare yourself to others and you can only try to do your best with whatever options are available to you at that moment in time. If you get a flat tire your car you need to change it if you want to keep moving. On the flip side if you want to keep moving in life you need to change your attitude to I can vs. oh woe is me.

I referenced a moment in time above as time can change things for many. As you get older you may be wiser and have more financial wellness today in comparison to 5 years before. Is this fair? Not to the 18-year-old applying for their first loan.

Sometimes I think my kids think they should get the latest cell phone because their bestie has one or they should be paid the same wage per hour to do the same job as a coworker with years of experience. I’m not sure where they got this train of thought as I never taught that.

In life, fair doesn’t mean equal. Everyone can hope for equality but that doesn’t happen in all scenarios. Life is full of variables. Take the old saying is this glass half full or half empty: your perspective may differ from mine. That’s the beauty of life.

Life’s uncertainty leads to lessons learned. Lessons foster growth. Having a growth mindset allows you to change your surroundings, your future, your present and many benefits I can’t list.

This post is about the word no. Sometimes you need to hear no many times before you hear yes. It may not be fair but if you are consistent you may see more yes in your life.

Today I said no to somebody. Yesterday I said no to another. I don’t always like hearing bad news but sometimes the truth is what one needs to hear to grow. To step outside their box. To find another way. To enable them to shift their mindset into how to do vs. who can do for me.

If we always found yes answers we would have a weirder society than we have now. I had this little yellow book on a table in my house for years. I think many could read it and grow from it.

 

celebrations, coaching

Growing Up Fast

They may not be fully grown but they represent a few of my maturing players. Many team colors over the years but the same great kids and lots and lots of memories.

I have known this group since they were in elementary school. I wasn’t their only coach but I was fortunate to have them with me for a few seasons, reasons, tournaments and so on.

We built strong bonds. We built trust. We giggled. We traveled from state to state many times and boy do we have car stories to tell. They got better in the sport they love. They had their glow up. Now they are in high school. Almost ready for college.

They are now working as volunteers to pass their knowledge on to the younger kids coming up in the ranks. Something they probably didn’t imagine when they first suited up in their lacrosse gear for the first time. This picture was taken in the state of Alabama about 5 years ago.

I have a front row seat in watching them excel as leaders on and off the field. They don’t get paid. They work hard. They are role models. From brace-faced young girls to whistle-blowing officials. These girls have grown up all things lacrosse. They are now choosing to volunteer in the sport that has afforded them so much. This gem of photo was a first 3 v 3 tournament in the Sunshine State back in 2016.

These girls may not see the value of what they are doing today but they are leading by example. Those they are mentoring and will later mentor others. They will springboard off this leadership experience as they head off to college. Their team bonding will crossover into the workplace one day. This keepsake photo was after a hard fought championship game in sunny South Carolina in 2017.

They are tomorrow’s workers. They have a solid foundation. They will be successful. I will enjoy watching them grow into greatness. How can I not include the toy soldier photo from a holiday tournament held in Georgia every year. One that is festive and full of crazy costumes and most notable is the cold temperatures and bad weather that comes with a December tournament.

This is why I coach. I love being a part of these girls’ stories and I love having them a part of mine. From costumes to travel and beyond the sport of lacrosse has bonded these girls for years. They are there for each other when times are challenging and they push each other when the need arises.

As many of my lacrosse girls approach adulthood, this is my big thank you for letting me be a part of your journey. I remember so many of my coaches throughout life and the lessons they taught me. I hope my players remember me one day and the memories we made.

So many hurdles for these girls and other athletes who had their seasons interrupted because of the Coronavirus scare. Uncharted territory. The closest reminder for me was 9/11 however none of these girls even remember 9/11 as they were not born yet. What a crazy reflection in this growing up post.

I now feel old and experienced in life having seen the Gulf War, 9/11 and now Coronavirus. Crazy to think my parents talked about the potato famine and I get to tell stories about the toilet paper famine.

This post is for my three musketeer trio and those junior coaches that paved the way before them. You know who you are.

inspire, partnership

Feel the Power

Recently I stumbled on a story. I can’t remember the origin but it caught my attention. A book was mentioned.

I wasn’t in a position to procure the book, read the book or anything really. However, I was intrigued. With the curiosity I garnered the help of my business partner, whom I trust as an extension of me.

I said could you do me a favor? Sure! Grab the book and give it a quick read. She is a speed reader luckily so I knew it wouldn’t take her nearly as long as me to get to it. Little did I know that book would bring up many similarities in my relationship with my business partner as is shown in the book itself. I’d called that highly coincidental.

Like an amazing partner, she not only read the book but she passed it with some footnotes. I clearly love footnotes from her as her take is often different than mine but valued just the same. This is an exercise we have done in the past but it’s been a while.

Now my turn to read. I’m pleasantly surprised. So many crossovers to my life yet different in many ways. One of the items I enjoyed most in the book were the quotes. Some I liked more than others but they all spurred thought in my mind.

The one pictured above has to resonate with almost anyone who reads this blog and for that I am happy to share it!

I even passed clips of this book on to friends as motivation and plan to rehome the book as soon as I’m ready to part with it.

Recently I wrote a post about take the class. Now I’m saying read the book. Read the damn book people.

Make the time. I didn’t really have time but I fit it in while riding my stationary bike or waiting in offices and other places I found a few minutes of down time.

Grow your knowledge. Stretch your limits. Inspiration and motivation can be hidden in the places we least expect them to be.

Be honest with yourself. You will grow into greatness when you reach the point where you can continually learn in any environment. This week alone I learned many things about myself.

Some pleasant some not so pleasant. Now what I choose to do with that knowledge will set me on fire or leave me sitting in the same spot I was yesterday.

I normally chose forward progress. What do you normally choose?

Today’s post goes out to two badass chicks who wrote High Heals. While I may not be endorsing their line of work I am however endorsing their forwarding thinking, creative minds, and all around badassery for leave their mark on the world.

hustle

Take the Class

When is it too late to take that extra continuing education class? Is there ever a too late time clock?

I don’t think so. I glance around and see many 40-55 year old guys wasting a lot of time playing what I call mindless video games. You know the ones with clans and farms and other stuff. (Sorry If this offends you). Maybe it helps with their tracking abilities or hand eye coordination?

But maybe it will hinder their vision in the long run. Or maybe it will separate them from loved ones since it’s a party of one activity.

If these same guys decided to invest in themselves via online courses, could they be better providers for their families? Could they be engaging or stimulating their brain to help ward off the aging process?

There are many ways to grow personally and professionally but how many actually take the time once they hit a cushy spot in their career or a certain age where one feels it no longer matters?

Teachers, hair stylists, real estate professionals, attorneys, among others need credit hours showing development after their career has launched. How many fields don’t have this requirement? Who holds you accountable to grow?

You my friend hold yourself accountable. All day everyday. If you want to excel or be noted as a top achiever in your field you need to evolve. Don’t just collect a paycheck. Push yourself. Learn something new within your organization.

Test your limits. You will never know how far you can go if you never try. This post is dedicated to all those middle aged guys and gals who think they are too old or set in their ways to step out of their comfort zone.

Take the class! It could be a photography class for a new hobby. It could be the real estate class to start a side hustle. It could be a scuba diving class to learn something you always wanted to.

Just take the class and do it again next year. You might surprise yourself and those around you. You might even inspire another and start a chain reaction.

As I wrote this blog I received an article about financial literacy in adults. It mentioned nearly two thirds of American adults would struggle to pass a financial literacy test. This is further confirmation of take the class!

Take a financial class. A budgeting class. Many are available online for free. You can’t beat free. Making self education a best practice sounds like a smart choice to make.

Take the class and let us know how it goes. We know it will be beneficial. Sorry in advance for picking on guys in this post. It may seem sexist and maybe it is but generally speaking guys play mindless video games more than women.

Think sharper. Work faster. Feel better.

Another health and wealth tidbit from 2 chicks.

anonymous letters, family

The Next Chapter Is In Motion

Motion: fast motion, slow motion or no motion. Which one is it?

Right now, I would say we are stalled. Where do I go? Who will help me? What am I entitled to get? Why do things cost so much? Why do I have to pay for that? How can I get a job paying 40k/year with no training, experience or advanced degree?

I almost think high school needs a “Welcome to Adulthood” class as a required step for graduation. No sugar coating things. Make them live as an adult for 60 days. See how many pass that class! Much better choice than a baby class because if you can’t be an adult, you certainly shouldn’t have a baby anytime soon.

Welcome to adulthood. Welcome, my friend. Welcome to the world of bills, bosses, crappy work hours, and so much more. It’s called adulting!

Yes, adulting is the coveted thing smart ass teens long for. Their freedom. Their ability to make their own rules. Their ability to do or not do.

They forget when you cut the cord, nobody does your laundry. Nobody pays for your car insurance. Nobody pays for that cell phone you are on 24/7. Nobody pays for your haircuts, clothes or toiletries. Why do kids today think adulting is the thing to do right now?

Kids these days don’t think about savings accounts for a rainy day. They don’t think about what happens if they can’t pay their rent. They just think somebody will help them. A form of entitlement, I guess.

This isn’t just something I see from just my parenting lens. I see it with others. Maybe not all, but a lot of kids in the middle-class suburbs where my kids have been raised. Very different from my upbringing.

To get started, I must go back a short bit. To sum up the past 9-12 months of my life could only be categorized as an insane yet thrilling roller coaster ride with many twists, turns, ups, downs, loop-de-loops and all the insane tummy drops that go along with the above!

But during it all, I remained calm on most days. I relied on my friends and family for moral support and I endured a lot of sweat in the gym to keep me grounded. All of which got me to today with a big smile on my face. I may even drop 10 pounds from reducing my stress now that this big day is here. I’ll call this the turning point.

As I sigh on one chapter coming to an end, I grin with a new one beginning. I hold my head up high and cheer loud and proud for my middle child who graduates high school. Not the straight-A student but a hard worker with a heart of gold. He battled to get to this point, but he did it and I couldn’t be more proud of him!

As he enters adulthood with that diploma in hand, he will be ready to tackle his life adventures with confidence knowing he graduated. Wherever he travels, whomever he falls in love with, whatever trouble he gets in, or whatever career path he chooses, his momma will still be there for him through thick and thin.

It’s time to cut the cord! My role changes now. I am a supporter from this point forward. I am no longer a life guide, decision maker, and prime financial supporter. Turning into an adult comes with responsibilities and growth. His decisions may frustrate me at times but they’re his decisions to make. The big 18. The legal adult. Legal adults get bills, accountability and headaches.

He can choose to drink, smoke, get a tattoo or worse. He gets to choose and learn from mistakes as well as celebrate accomplishments. It’s his road/path/journey.

It’s funny when your know-it-all teens realize that soap, haircuts, gas and other things are expenses just like rent, food, clothing, vehicles, etc. The real world hits quickly. When you finish up school, it’s time to get a job and be a contributing adult. How quickly one learns that adulting sucks on most days!

It’s time to let child #2 soar to his new heights. My job is done for now. May he take the strength and wisdom I taught him over the years and springboard into his own level of happiness.

Dream big kiddo. Seize the day. You deserve the very best and I know the best is still ahead for you. Embrace life and all the experiences in front of you.

Choose your friends wisely and think before you make you make decisions with long-term consequences.

xoxo,
Your Mom