dare to be different

Shoe Issues or is it Shoe Goals?

3 years of CrossFit and my shoes have evolved just like me.

When I was clueless as a newbie at CrossFit I wore tennis shoes. Plain Jane tennis shoes. Well they had a swoosh on them and they said cross trainers but were they good for CrossFit?

In a short time I found out I didn’t like to box jump in them because I bit it more than once. Could have been my skill level but I will go with the shoes. I didn’t like to run in them because they didn’t feel good on my shins. Whether it was the shoes or my excuses, I don’t really know for sure. Then before long I found out I didn’t like to lift in them. Just all around blah. But since I didn’t know if I would like CrossFit I didn’t invest in shoes just yet.

A few months passed and the new year came. I waited patiently and watched to see what others had on their feet. There was a good variety of brands and types. Some even changed shoes to run or to lift. I was fascinated. I asked questions. In no time, I bought my first pair of Metcons. Vibrant blue. Oh, how they seemed heavy when I ran. Like I was running with bricks on my feet. They just didn’t move well with me. Off they go to a friend.

“Don’t I just waste money on shoes?” I say to myself. I mean it happens to the best of us. I have bought heels before and they feel fine when I’m in the shoe store then I wear them for a day and I’m like heck no.  After some debate with myself, I ended up with some Reebok Nanos. I liked them. First I had a black pair. Black matches everything but then I felt goth. A new model Nano was coming out so I picked up a blue pair since I liked these. Then white. I was content but they were not my favorite to run in and in year two I started running a lot more.

Enter the new Nanos that were a cross between a running shoe and the other model. I saw a badass in the gym wearing them. I inquired. I purchased. First, a black pair. A conservative option. Oops, I ran a mud race in them which was a bad choice so I replaced them with black pair #2. Then, fun colors came out and so did the sales. I snagged pink, navy blue, turquoise and a grayish green color. I could match most outfits and I liked to run in these. I wanted to buy a few pairs in case they went end of life. Of course, it helped they had fun color choices.

I ventured out and bought a pair of of the new Nanos…7 or 8. I hated them. They had a weird coating on them and they had a small toe base. Gave those suckers away to a friend quickly. So then I said I’m gonna break the hundred dollar spend limit and invest in some No Bull shoes. Purely because the name was cool. They were red on the box but had an orange glow. Just didn’t feel comfy in them so I passed them on to a friend. Barely worn shoes can easily find a second home.

I went on shoe restriction for a bit. Just counting above will explain why I put myself on shoe restriction. I mean I still need flip flops, heels for work and cute tennies for my everyday outfits.

Okay, so it was maybe 3 months later when my son started CrossFitting with me. He needed some new shoes. He bought Camo Metcons. He loved them. We wear the same size so I tried them and guess what? I liked these. Either they got lighter or my legs got stronger and I didn’t think they were too heavy. I checked online and darn it they didn’t have cool girl colors. What a let down.

Then I flipped over to the dude colors and was like what the heck? They have a much better selection. I couldn’t decide between the grey Camo and orange or the red and army Camo. I just bought both on a whim. Then I decided I would wear one of each shoe together. That was a lot of fun. Then I switched back to just orange and grey and red and army Camo.

Then the phone ads pop up. The girls line just came out with baby blue with shimmer Metcons. Seriously, just after my men’s order shipped. It was Valentine’s Day so I gifted them to myself…sneaky, I know.

Then the chalkboard and whiteboard versions. I wanted both but I passed on them. I just figured too many would have them and I just like to be on the edge of different.

A few more versions were released for girls and I wanted them bad but I refrained. It was hard. Then I saw a bright pink, white and black pair conveniently around my birthday. Gift time again. Nobody ever knows what to get this girl so Metcons it was. These were preorder so I didn’t get them for another month. I just love them, all of them.

Then today I see a new flashy pair. Golden with floral pops. A must have! Did you say Mother’s Day is just around the corner? Sure did! Look a perfect gift for Mom. Metcons for Mom. Preorders rock. A little delayed gratification for this girl but now I have the run of the closet floor to choose from for my daily WODs.

To some, I am sure they see me as wasteful but I seriously choose my outfit down to my socks based on what movements we are doing that day.  Shoes are included in this regimen. Crazy girl I am but welcome to my world of shoes. I absolutely refuse to add up the dollar amount spent but I seriously work hard so I can buy shoes.

And, I almost forgot I also have a pair of Reebok lifters. White with pink. Only use those for special occasions. And I just ordered a pair of Nike running shoes for my spring/summer running goals. Colorful and full of flair just like me. I guess you can see I am not your simple, basic girl.

My goals are big. My shoes are expensive. I work hard to afford my shoe fetish. #kt.247

I also have a t-shirt problem but I will save that for another post. Chick 2 may contribute to my delinquency in this arena. To the extent I probably need to open a t-shirt company. (Enter a big sigh.)

perspective

Are you Broken?

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On any given day we are all a little broken. It could be a simple hangnail type of broken, a big breakup type of broken or anything in between.

Some days we break a little, like a small crack in your cell phone. Some days we seem to be broken in a million and one pieces like the shattering of a mirror. Fortunately for us, there are bandaids for little boo boos, bandages and Advil for bigger cuts and bruises and then there is always the gym, counselors and good friends to help you when the heavy kind of broken happens. Loss of a loved one, divorce, mental breakdown, financial losses can all leave one broken which is just part of life but we all need to find coping mechanisms to deal with brokenness.

Remember, everyone can break. It’s not a sign of weakness. One can break at 2 years old resulting in a tantrum. One can break in their teens when social struggles hit hard. One can break as an adult for many reasons and the elderly can even break. Caring for an aging family member takes a big toll on people but many don’t talk openly about it. Being broken offers an opportunity to realize change is needed.

I’m sure we all wish we could sprinkle pixie dust on our brokenness and it all just goes away.  In reality, it’s not that simple. It takes strength, wisdom, encouragement, time and perseverance to realign with what’s important and needed to move ahead when brokenness hits us.

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(photo by @ahborson)

One may find hope with Jesus and the church. Another may exit a bad relationship and find peace in forging ahead alone. Another may readjust financially to a setback with counseling or help from a friend. In each scenario options are visible. Taking a step may be hard but if a step is never taken one will never move forward and may be burdened with sadness and sorrow from the brokenness.

I describe brokenness to my kids as we all have an emptiness inside of us.  And some of that comes from the broken places that we all seem to collect throughout life…  Seeing that things aren’t perfect. Accidents happen with awful consequences.  Humans are messy and flawed. People let us down or fail us. We lose someone we care about, for whatever reason. Each of these leaves us cracked, spilling, a little emptier.

It’s up to each of us what we fill those broken spots with.  Will it be productive or destructive? Some will fill that emptiness with substances, addiction.  Some will fill it with meditation, yoga, religion. Some will fill it with giving.  Some with an empty kind of busy-ness. Some with hopelessness or detachment. Some may write their way through grief to a deeper understanding of themselves. Some will fill their lives with new or deeper relationships, reflection, and a true attempt to find joy in the brokenness.  We each choose how we fill those cracks, whether we choose carefully or consciously or now.  We choose how we mend ourselves and even others.

I read about the Japanese art of Kintsugi. It’s the centuries-old practice of repairing broken ceramic pieces with gold…in this tradition, the cracked and repaired spots are not blemishes, but make the piece more beautiful and unique.  It’s a powerful metaphor for our broken human life. Our cracks don’t mean we are useless. Instead, they are part of what make us precious and ultimately more valuable.

I am broken. I have repaired cracks in my life journey and I have many stage one cracks in my life now. I am content with my brokenness. Life is not perfect and neither am I. I grow through my life lessons. I wander. I encourage. I challenge. I test fate and when I do I risk it all. The risk could be emotional. The risk could be financial. The risk could be unknown.

If I lived in a bubble could I still break? Yes, of course. I can however control my attitude when I start each day. I can manage my emotions when times are tough and I can fuel my body with health and fitness regimens that help me stay the course. It’s all in the mindset.

It may be hard to share, but I find that when I am brave enough to share my broken, I often also get the chance to be closer to people.  So often, others are suffering in ways we don’t know or can’t see, even refuse to see.  If we take a risk, make ourselves vulnerable, show our tender spots to a trusted friend, we will often learn we are much less alone in our broken. Many are fighting battles we can’t imagine, and often they feel they are fighting them alone. The cracks are opportunities to shine a light on others and share a light in what can be a very dark time. Be the light and share your broken.  Be the gold that fills another and reflects their unique beauty.

Be the gold that fills the cracks. Your gold may melt different than mine but it doesn’t decline in value. Gold is precious just like you and me.

If you thought this post was meaningful, please share it. Share the words that speak to you. I know there are some keys phrases in this post that make me smile and work towards being a better person. I am always filling my cracks with gold and trying to help others find their gold to fill their cracks as well.

 

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(photo by @svklimkin)
awareness

The One about the Turtle Crossing the Road

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When she was little, my daughter Anne loved turtles.  She used “turtle girl” as her nickname online.  She had a turtle named Swimmy for a pet.  She loved reading about turtles.  When we went to the beach, I scheduled time for us to work with local turtle patrols, visit aquariums, or watch turtle hatchlings be released into the ocean.

Turtles were her thing.

She’e a teenager now and her interests have broadened, but deep down I think she still has a soft spot for turtles.

So it didn’t surprise me a couple of weeks ago when we were out and about, driving on a long rural road, and I dodged a turtle stopped right in the middle of our lane.

Just like I used to do when Anne was little, I screamed “turtle!” and, just like she did when she was little, she yelled “turn around!”

It was a long stretch of road with rolling hills…visibility was tricky…cars were flying by…no flat shoulder and few places to turn around.  When I finally turned to go back for the turtle, someone came up speeding behind me so I couldn’t pull over.  So, we found a place to turn around again, and tried again.

I had my hazard lights on so people knew I was up to something.  Pulled over on a soft grassy spot, then she gave a quick look and jumped out of the car.  She ran full force probably seventy-five yards back and got the little guy.  She picked him up gently and moved him across the road in the direction he was going, just like we learned about when she was little.  She placed him down right by a small pond near the side of the road.  And off he went. Safe for the moment.  And then off we went toward our destination, feeling like we helped the world in some small way.

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At least five cars passed over him while we were making that multi-step turn around.  Who knows how many more had flown past him, over him, as he slowly made his way across the lanes toward his goal.

All this made me wonder about how many people I know, who I see daily, who are trying to cross their own treacherous lanes in life.  How many people do I know who are moving toward goals but keep dodging obstacles, negativity, or just the rushing flow of the daily grind? How many are in periods where things in life are flying by, in different directions, leaving them pulled into their shells much of the time?

Do I even notice them?  Or am I just speeding by, consumed with my own tasks and concerns, not even seeing those who I could help along if I just slowed down and took time to pay attention?

And how can I lift them up, shoulder their burden, ease their journey somehow? How can I put my lights on so people know I am slowing down, wanting to help, up to something?

These are the questions that are on my mind this morning. It doesn’t take that much to help someone across a scary patch.  I just need to pay more attention, be willing to slow down. Be more open and attentive. Work to see the potholes and rough patches others might be crossing. Sharing my own bumps and tumbles so they feel safe sharing their own.

What good is it to make it to my destination more quickly, if I have passed over others I could have helped along the way?

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hustle

Round 2 it is…

 

 

Well, I made it 1/2 way through the OPEN! I am still breathing, but I definitely feel some aches this week!

Week three I got to hit the RX button again. How exciting that is for me. A step up of sorts or maybe more like 50 box step-ups weighted with 35 pounds after a grueling 200 feet of single arm weighted overhead lunges. Can you feel the burn in your buttocks as you read this? Could you imagine dropping a 35-pound dumbbell on your head at 6:30am? I almost did that when my weaker left arm said one more rep was one too many!

It was a cold Friday morning when I made my first attempt at the 19.3 workout. I had a goal to make it to the third movement noted as the wall for strict handstand push-ups. I fell 3 reps short and didn’t make the wall. Do I do it again?

Of course! Round 2 it is for this girl. The OPEN is about pushing yourself. Testing your limits. If I didn’t make a second attempt I would just be settling. It may only be 3 extra reps but that’s 3 extra moves to my finish line. My finish line matters to me. Now there is a bit of an irony with the wall. I have never completed a strict handstand push-up therefore I may never get one rep on I the wall but I have to try.

I want to make it to the wall for handstand push-ups. I don’t want to hit a virtual wall in my mind. The only way to avoid the virtual wall is to saddle up and get after round 2.

Fast forward to Sunday. The box vibe is different. My muscles are still achy to an extent. My mind is pre-occupied with parenting things but sometimes a hard workout is just the thing for me to balance my life’s craziness. Off I go….

My legs were tight as I stretched for sure. I was super anxious. I had to run to the girls room like three times before I started. Maybe my weight belt was squeezing the nerves out of me!

The countdown begins and the pain starts with the first lift up. My core was a lot more wobbly on my lunges and I had to compensate with my dominant arm for more lunges fatiguing me differently than round one. I made it to the box. And boy did those step-ups suck on round 2. 10-20-25….1/2 way there says Damian. Don’t put that weight down. Keep stepping. Breathe. Push. Am I there yet? I said to myself. Nope!

Those steps seemed like they would never end. I hear Tasha say “10 more Tink Tink” and I literally forced my way through those last few. 9 minutes 18 seconds. On to the wall! I made it to the wall.

I can’t breathe, let alone kick up to a handstand. Okay I get up. And bend my arms to decline but not far enough. I’m gassed. One more attempt. I didn’t get one handstand push-up but I gave a valiant effort. On a positive note, at least I didn’t land on my head.

The picture below shows me hovering at the wall post wod. 19.3 didn’t kill me but my second attempt let me get to the wall. Crossfit definitely feeds my appetite to become stronger physically and mentally.

Until next post people, stay happy and healthy.

awareness

Beth’s OLW for 2019

 

Overdue post.

I’ve joined in the OLW (One Little Word) trend every year for the last few.  I’ve had words like focus, joy, more, and yes act as a tone-setter or guide through the year.  It usually takes me a few days to settle on one after thinking about where I am in my life and how I hope to grow.

What about 2019? After considering options like courage, go, and forward, one word kept coming back to me.

Fearless.

I originally didn’t like it since fearless strikes me a negative word.  It is about the lack of fear, instead of a positive trait like courage or fortitude.  But, then I thought about myself.  I do have a lot of fears.  I operate from worry and fear too much of the time.  I let worry keep me from taking on challenges, tasks, and possible joys. I want LESS of that for myself.  People notice when I am acting from a place of confidence and energy.  I carry myself and approach the world differently.  It shows.

So, fearless it is.  Fearless captures the power, the passion, the strength I hope to embody this year. I know this won’t mean I am suddenly unafraid or free from worry. It’s more about changing how I react to worries. I’ve already noticed myself telling friends not to get hung up on what they can’t control.  Not to operate from a place of fear.  In those moments, as I encourage friends to confront fears, I am encouraging and reminding myself, too.

Maybe I’m finally learning that, in the end, I’m the only one who catalogs my failures, not to mention the things I don’t even try to do in the first place (which are even bigger failures).  I’ve got to push forward and keep growing into myself.

This week’s example: sled pushes.  My first reaction was NO. I’m scared! I’ll get hurt! I’m too weak! (In my fearful, defensive voice!)

Then my good friend KT encouraged me to do it. Well…

And so I double checked with Coach Alex to be sure I was minimizing the chance of injury or aggravation.  He gave me form tips and the green light.  So, in front of people much stronger than me, I pushed the darn sled.  Faster and heavier than I would have ever done on my own.

Fears do come up.  They always will. It’s my choice to bow to them or challenge them.

Friends and coaches who know where I’m coming from and where I’m going help me keep pushing, fearlessly. (And in the pic below, I imagine Superman telling me I can do it, too!)

I’ll share updates about this as the year goes on.  Cheers to fearless, 2019.