Three decades of silence and shame, broken with one line.
“After 33 years, today I was revealed as Victim 54.”
No photo. No link. No commentary. No follow up.
But I knew.
I drew my breath in sharply. Old wounds burned under my skin. Did he know that I already knew? It didn’t matter either way. What mattered is that now it has finally come to light. Two-thirds more of his life has passed since those betrayals were committed. Same for Victim 55, my dear friend from the same years.
Finally, those in power who hunt and hurt and those who covered for them are named. Those hiding behind the priest’s collar are collared.
Child abuse doesn’t just hurt the victim. It hurts their friends, their family, their loved ones. They are robbed of the closeness they could have shared while the victim hides in plain sight.
Abuse also hurts the victim’s future. Choices, freedoms, preferences, relationships…it all changes.
Maybe I shouldn’t be thankful I was a girl, but I am. When I look back at having lunches with the predator, the gifts he gave me, the attention he showered on me…but a priest with a girl was probably too strange. Instead, he victimized boys, young men, my friends.
These old horrible men, hiding behind their uniforms. Carrying the banner of Jesus.
Power corrupts. Power clothed in a “sacred” uniform is even worse…more insidious. It gets a pass because it wears the costume of innocence. Virtue creates victims.
No wonder I am mistrustful of power. No wonder I automatically resist anyone who tries to govern me, legal or not. No wonder every time someone shows up in a wholesome uniform, I am guarded, cynical, preemptively skeptical.
The damage done by people who parade their trustworthiness, their valor, is infinitely as egregious. It makes me sick.
Sometimes I am too trusting. But when it comes to uniforms and power, I am the opposite: suspicious. I assume the worst. I always wonder if they are humbly trying to live up to their uniform or is there wickedness hiding beneath?
I was inspired by International Women’s Day and a generation competition I competed in recently. It made me think of all the powerful women I have in my life representing different pockets of time. This led me to this inspiration post dedicated to all the powerful women out there in the world.
Meet LT. A gorgeous teen who works hard to find her place in life. Exploding athleticism but the explosiveness she works hard to earn daily. She leads her friends with her spunky personality and drive. I’m always amazed by the resilience in others. Looking forward to seeing how she conquers this crazy world we live in. Living through a pandemic and finding ways to redefine herself has been much of her growing recently. I’m definitely of fan of this girl.
Meet EO. A young mom in her 20’s working hard to support her family. Always finding time to work on herself even when that means juggling life to balance it all. She is a strong woman who inspires many each day in her role in the school system. She tends to chickens on the home front to provide nourishment for her family. She is also extremely fit as shown in this picture. She is a great representation of a strong Latino woman making an impact each day.
Meet TF. This is one mighty and fierce girl in her thirties who likes to show that she can lift way more than her body weight. Raising two boys on her own. Climbing the corporate ladder by day, parenting 24/7. Putting in work to keep herself physically and mentally fit while showing her boys what hard work looks like and how it pays off in the long run. Dynamite does come in small packages and she is living proof. She is also my tribute to strong Asian women as we live in a world where so much hate is passed on to different ethnicities for some reason.
Meet SM. Aka “Hooker” for most of her life, although that was never her occupation! Her upside down picture shows her flexibility as she grew up as a dancer for many many years. Current day, this gal is smart, funny and super supportive to her family and her friends. She has a heart of gold and is always up for fun adventures including pretending to be a nurse on occasion. She is always bending and flexing to adapt to the changes we face daily thanks to pandemic life. She is my tribute to being amazing and flexible in your 40’s.
Meet KW. Kim is one of a kind. She is a grandma, fitness enthusiast, motorcycle-riding badass and so much more. Rolling in her 50’s she works hard as a hairdresser making many look beautiful. Spending hours on her feet listening to her clients. An art of sorts but a craft that brings joy to many. No surprise for this girl as she is super caring and has great listening skills. She is my 50-something tribute girl. She wears it well.
Meet AK. She is my super sixties girl. Hard working corporate girl who has left the working world to tend to her ailing husband who happens to be a Marine Veteran. She is prideful, spunky and not shy about speaking her mind. In her words: “I try to be someone who isn’t afraid to share her opinions and speak her truth. I listen with sincerity and don’t allow others’ problems to bring me down, though this is not easy at times. My heart is filled with kindness, generosity, compassion, integrity, a willingness to be vulnerable, and authenticity. Life sometimes throws a curve ball, which sometimes I swing and miss and other times I score a home run. My priority is my family, my God, my friends, and then everything else that comes my way. “
Meet VS. She is feeling special at her recent 79th birthday bash. Look at her sass and shining personality showcased in this photo. She is here today celebrating 79 years on earth. A mom, a grandma, and a fighter. Battling the odds of her age, her health and her environment. So far she is staying strong during this crazy corona time we have been stuck in for over a year. She is my tribute girl of the 70’s. I hope to be as spirited at her age.
Meet EM. She is my saucy eighties girl. Strong, courageous and beautiful. A mom, a widow, a nana, a great grandma, and so much more. She is a bright light in a room with a story to tell. Living on earth for 83 years lets you see the world through a unique lens. I am happy to say I hear those stories and share them whenever I can. Happy to end this post with this dynamo.
Throughout the years I have many that inspire me. This reel is a glimpse. A snapshot of inspiring women. Most who have no clue they inspire others. Some have physical strength. Some have mental toughness. Some have years of wisdom and experience. Some have just begun making their mark on the world. Some share their smile and giggles and that can be enough.
I am along for the ride. May all these women inspire you to inspire others. This is a female power post but that doesn’t mean a male can’t appreciate the beauty of it.
Celebrate the strong women in your life today. Maybe it’s your mom, your daughter, your girlfriend, your teacher, your doctor, your dentist or other significant person in your life. Do me a favor and let one of these women in your life know how special they are today.
Inspiration over the years. This post makes me grin from ear to ear.
Is it physical strength? Is it mental strength? Do you even know?
If one thinks they have mastered the power of words and the power of persuasion, does that make him or her strong?
The ability of strength can be determined by how long one can endure. Maybe endure the battle. Maybe it’s the power to endure pain. It could even be the power of patience. Waiting. Sitting idle. A sleeper cell of sorts. Sometimes people mistake physical strength for power. Sometimes people overlook the strength required to endure a long battle. Maybe even a battle of the minds.
Patience. Persistence. Consistency. Loyalty. These are all words that develop a powerful individual. Add a little street smarts and power is magnified. One may be little but still be fierce.
People should always be aware of the underdog. One should never underestimate the power or strength of a determined underdog. I admire many who battle daily as the underdog. I may even enjoy being named an underdog.
Push my buttons. I dare you. I am built to endure on many levels. I welcome a challenge. I also cheer for underdogs near and far. I advocate for those who lack strength when a bully is in sight.
Just a random rant worth a read. Life is full of shitheads. Are you a person I may refer to as a shithead or are you an underdog I may fight for?
We enjoyed the chitter chatter. We were candid and honest. We built trust.
Tonight you made a promise.
Tonight I promised you.
The time we spent together was time needed. We made time. Tonight was a priority.
Tonight there might be others who need somebody to listen. Tonight others will battle fears and uncertainty. Tonight you had an option. Tonight was about you.
You have the power and grace to look past the shadows. You have the power to reclaim you. You deserve all that is in front of you.
Don’t waste time looking back on what could have been, should have been, and so on. Just focus on you. Lean on your inner circle. You trust them. They trust you.
Be open. Be candid. Be approachable. Don’t give up. Your crew needs you today, tomorrow and the next day.
I believe you can do this. Look for the sunrise tomorrow. Think of the beauty of the day. Commit to yourself that you will have a good day.
Remember you are loved by many.
This post is for anyone who needs to hear this message now or in the future. Bookmark it. Read it. Believe it.
On January 25, 2020, I wrote a random blog post on music. This was not long after I laid out my 2020 goals which included an anthem or song for the year. Some choose words each year, for me I chose music last year. I’m pretty sure it was the first time I ever acknowledged music in this way but it was a symbol in the crazy world of 2020.
So here we are in January 2021. I reviewed my most played songs of 2020 and there were a few consistent as I spent many hours driving in solitude. Of course my anthem was the #1 played song but it had me thinking about what my anthem would be for 2021.
Not much thought after that until today. Boom a text was received and it all changed in a moment. A moment like this, as Kelly Clarkson would belt out.
Not every word applies but the ones above ring true to my strength, my confidence, my gait, and so on. I am me. No carbon copies. A queen in my own world. Which all seems appropriate since my song of 2020 was Queens Don’t by Rae Lynn.
A queen’s gonna rule just the way she was made… Queens don’t hate, queens don’t fight…. Every jewel on my crown, you better believe I earned..
Thank you ladies for putting out some amazing lyrics to keep me focused on 2020 and 2021. I just add. No need to confuse me my confidence with arrogance. I work for what I deserve. I work hard. I play just as hard. I treat others the way I would want to be treated. This year’s song is a symbol of my attitude as I attack 2021 with vim and vigor. ‘Cause I’m me and this is my style.
Hope you find your theme song for the year if it strikes your fancy like it did mine. I am truly lucky to have many in my life who see me as having the shining light of a queen. The commanding personality of a leader. The attitude of an independent thinker and so much more.
Off to live my best queen life. Today, tomorrow and the next day.
2 Chicks and a blog 