family

Feelings of Worry

Do feelings or worry keep you up at night or make sleeping restless? The answer for me is generally no.

However, as a mother I have had many sleepless night thanks to my kiddos. It could be when they were little without words crying. Was I doing the right thing as a mom? I could use the sleep but couldn’t sleep as I was carrying the worry burden in my mind.

Then it was when they had a cold, recovered from an injury, or even had surgery. Those seemed like tough scenarios at the time but nothing prepares you for aging kids. That’s when the grey hair comes.

There is even worry about me time. Am I being selfish making time for me when the kids could use x, y or z? Is there a capable spouse that could fill my void while I take some me time? Is my mental balance important even as a mom? Over the years feelings of worry hit at various times for various reasons resulting in sleepless nights. I think it comes with the mother territory but I don’t recall reading about it in the motherhood books.

Nothing in my mind prepares a mom for aging teens to early adults. When they drive a car will they be safe? When they leave your home to adult will they make good choices? Will they eat right? Will they make good financial decisions? So many scenarios that can be stressful if you allow it to eat away at you in your mind.

Most days I do a good job keeping those feelings at bay. However when it’s time
to lay down the law, apply pressure and push the aging kiddos, I wonder if they are ready. Did they mature? Do they have the mental toughness I had at that age? Am I being too hard?

Today’s world is complex. It doesn’t appear that kids mature at the level I was expected to at the same age. There is more coddling and hand holding. Is this society? Is it my parenting? How can one child fare okay and another struggle?

Thoughts at 4am to ponder. Do your kids even think you worry about them when they are adults? I know my mom worries and she is in her 80s. Did I make it home after a long drive? Am I too busy with work? The list goes on. But today’s kids think it’s more of a chore to check in. Why would anyone worry about me?-type attitude.

At what point does one mature and see the vantage point of others? Some days I think I’m mature. Other days I think I have plenty of growing to do. When I refer to maturity, I don’t mean physical maturity. I mean mature in life. Understanding the connectedness of people, emotions and so on.

Again just a random rant capturing the moments of sleep loss due to worry of a loved one. Another day no emergency phone call. I guess that’s a good sign for now. It’s my thought they think I have no worries but in fact they are my only worry.

Life as a mom is the hardest job in the world yet it’s the most rewarding. The job doesn’t pay money but it pays overtime in memories, experiences and keeps you on your toes.

Enjoy today. Live like there is no tomorrow. Regret nothing. Worry less. That’s my mom motto.

inspire

Daydreaming

I love it when I find somebody or something that inspires me. Today it was Spanx. Not the pants, although they are amazing it was their founder.

The one, the only Sara Blakely. A bad ass boss woman who supports others with her posts, her generosity, her wisdom, her experience and so much more.

I saw this first hand this year when she hired an up-and-coming local college graduate at her firm. Next time was when COVID hit and she directed funds to her Red Backpack grant program. I saw it again today with the post above on LinkedIn. What an influencer. What a shining example for women in business.

In today’s world when so much is crazy and uncertain she points to herself. She uses herself as an example. She talks about the non-traditional path she traveled to get where she is today.

She talks about hard work, challenging times and starting with her own daydream. She chipped away at her daydream until she could sustain herself and others.

What a beautiful thing. Success is a great but those who share their successes, experience and know-how with others is equally beautiful.

Keeping with the name of the post, what is your daydream? What are you doing to make that dream a reality?

Don’t have a daydream? Starting dreaming know. You will at least enjoy the dreaming process even if you are not ready to take flight yourself.

Dream big.

dare to be different, inspire

Sally Said

I’m kind of a big deal.

All my friends want to be around me.

At the park.

At school.

At the mall.

Being a big deal can get crazy at times.

Sometimes one of my friends will get really mad if I don’t spend enough time with just them!

I also have to make sure I don’t leave anyone out when I make plans to play after school.

Sometimes picking teams on the playground can be hard work!

I have to make sure I don’t hurt any of my friends’ feelings when I pick teams.

Who I pick first or last can be a really big deal to my friends.

Being a big deal can be hard work.

I have to be extra nice to everyone all time time.

I mean I try to be nice to people all the time but I might mess up and hurt my friends’ feelings.

I don’t know why I am a big deal.

I get up the same way each morning.

I even have crazy hair in the morning.

I brush my teeth just like my friends do.

I am not rich.

I am not famous but I might be famous one day.

I don’t have super powers.

I am just me.

I really like being just me.

I like to smile and have fun.

I like to laugh at funny jokes.

I like to make funny jokes.

I like to play sports and have fun outside.

I like to play with my dogs.

I like to be around people especially my friends.

My friends say I am goofy sometimes.

I make my friends giggle a lot.

I always have fun playing with my friends.

My dad says I am his sunshine every morning.

My dad makes me feel good when he tells me that.

My mom told me once that he calls me sunshine because I can brighten up any room full of people.

Maybe my mom and dad make me believe I am a big deal.

My sister says I can fall in a bucket of doggie doo doo but still smell like roses.

I never really understood what my sister said but my mom explained it to me.

My brother just says I am annoying.

My mom said you are special.

Your smile is infectious.

You can can make people feel better about themselves even when they can’t see for themselves.

I still don’t understand why my sister said doggie doo doo smells like roses but my mom said one day I will know when I grow up.

My family makes me rich I guess.

I love my family.

I guess I love being a big deal, too.

Being a big deal helps others.

I hope you can be a big deal, too.

If lots and lots of people believe is being a big deal then the world will be a much happier place.

I hope somebody reads this story in China or maybe even Russia. And maybe I will write more stories and become famous one day.

In today’s world we need more Sallies. What Sally says is important. In world of crazy corona challenges we all need to be kind and channel our inner Sally. We can all be a big deal. Today, tomorrow and the next day.

Because Sally said so!

perspective

Timing

I am finding myself reflecting a lot about time lately. What do I do with my time? Who do I spend time with? What do I need to spend time on? What do I not need to spend time on?

Oddly enough I ran into a very special person at the gym this morning. I hadn’t seen her in a while. Pre-corona to be exact. So four months or so. Not forever but a long time these days. I hadn’t noticed she dropped off social media and our schedules hadn’t overlapped. How did I miss something so obvious? Maybe I let negative time get in my way.

What a pleasant surprise to see her. Then the notion of time surfaced and how she avoids social media due to its impact on her mental state. She stated she got more done not worrying about who looks at what or who says what online. That got me thinking again about time.

Time is precious. How you use it. Who you spend it with. How valuable time matters. Your time matters. My time matters. My time belongs to me not others. I get to choose how I spend my time.

I can do something or nothing. I can be in the sunshine or the darkness. It doesn’t really matter as long as I’m happy with my time investment. Are you content where your time is spent?

As I wrap up this rant on time, I will say I often have to reflect in order to take back what time is mine. Sometimes I allow others to use my time for their benefit. When I do this most take advantage. I have to be aware of my time and it’s value to me because at the end of the day nobody donates time to me.

Does anyone steal your time? How much time do you spend on social media? Is it a need? Is it a want? Can you do without? Time is precious. Spend it wisely.

dare to be different

Junk or Treasures

In the last 30 days I have had a slight obsession with Facebook marketplace.

I haven’t really been big on posting items online for sale however I heard it was a good outlet to find what you need at a discounted rate. I gave it a whirl or two.

When it came time for me looking for specific pieces for my upcoming project I decided to see if it had any items I truly needed to keep my budget low. From casual browser to waking to see what had dropped in the night before. Off I went. By phone or by computer. Click click click. Wait. Deal or no deal. Sometimes getting a good item requires you to be the first hit. I got lucky sometimes but not other times.

Here are a few of my finds:

The barn door. A little bit of an odd size but it’s perfect for the spot I need to add some flair to. This is a PVC-type version and again it totally suited my immediate need. What this person bought in error was just what I needed. A win for both parties.

The odd red barrels. The soon-to-be base of a massive outdoor table. Inspiration was a cool table at an outdoor seating area of a restaurant I visited. More photos to come of the completed project. This was just somebody’s trash from a recent project that they made a few bucks on. A little elbow grease on my end and they look as good as new.

The church pew. Yes you read that right. I bought a church pew! A few pillows for flair and I will have a great pew for many to congregate at in my special entertainment space. I couldn’t be more excited about this piece. Who would have thought you could buy a church pew? Heaven knows I didn’t until I stumbled across it. Restoring these old pews is definitely a trend. Should I paint it or keep it natural? Let me know what you think.

The brand-new pillow -op mattress. This was a steal and I may have bought more than one. Overstock sales are in abundance online. If you happen to fall upon a good one, you can save big.

Stools for a steal. These brand-new-out-of-the-box stools retail for around $50. I was able to pick up 10 at $20 each. Great addition to go with the table I mentioned above and I saved a bundle.

Look for the finished project of my outdoor space in the coming weeks. Be sure to see if Facebook marketplace has any items you are looking for before you pay full retail. You can get new, gently used and hard-to-find antique items online. One of the benefits of online selling and buying is access to the inventory at your finger tips.

If you are willing to do the work, the bargains are out there. Picking, sourcing and putting together some handmade crafts has been a fun learning experience.

Signing off, a thrifty girl.