author moments

What I Know for Sure, 2021 Edition

A group of friends recently shared their thoughts on “What I Know for Sure.” This task, based on Oprah’s essays and so on, was a pleasant challenge.

I jotted mine down in quick scribbles. Nothing really took too much thought. I just did 20 in no particular order. Most of them are pretty basic. There was some head-nodding as we shared at the dinner table. Here’s the list I shared:

1.) The most important approval in my life is my own.

2.) I feel better when I move first thing in the morning.

3.) I can do without way more than I imagined (e.g., cheese)

4.) The main thing I can control is my own choices.

5.) Focusing on what I can control eases my anxiety.

6.) Bring food, a book, and something to do with you.

7.) I can provide guidance, but walking the walk and being an example is the most powerful, grounding thing I can do for others and myself.

8.) I can’t expect anyone else to prioritize my physical, mental, and emotional health – that’s my job. They also may not understand what prioritizing those things look like. That’s also not my problem.

9.) Garbage in, garbage out – reading, media, food, all of it.

10.) Most people are doing the best they can based on what they know and are capable of at a given time.

11.) Play is important at every age. Laughter is, too.

12.) Local places beat chains.

13.) If it’s worth it, go for it.

14.) Nature heals, redeems, centers and grounds.

15.) Writing matters.

16.) Dogs are amazing and make most of the people in my life happier than other people do.

17.) Most things that seem like a big deal really aren’t that serious.

18.) To be on time, leave at least 15 minutes before you think you should. Always leave a buffer.

19.) Time and attention are the most precious gifts we can give other people.

20.) Thank people often for things big and small.

Most of this stuff is not groundbreaking. What I marvel at is how my list would have changed from even 5 years ago. I didn’t work out in the morning. I was beset with anxiety most of the time. I didn’t spend much time outdoors. I didn’t write for myself. I didn’t like dogs. Life is changing. I am changing. If my list stays the same, have I really learned or grown? What will the next 5 years bring?

I have a number of friends who are on the cusp of this time of great change with me. It’s wonderful to share such an exciting and transformational time with people. Instead of a stumbling, fumbling block it can be a launch pad.

What do you know for sure, right now?

giving

Life

A big sigh. A deep and hearty breath was expelled. A yawn. Another big sigh. A controlled exhale.

Here I am before bed. In my super comfy pjs. It’s late on a Friday night. No big plans on the calendar tonight as it’s been a long week. My adorable fluffy dog at my feet. The most loyal companion that ever did live. She missed me today. I had a Zoom call that took me away from her for a good bit midday and an errand in the afternoon. She missed me terribly. Oh, and I missed her too. Guilty as charged. All is good as we wind down for the evening. We are reunited and calm because we have each other. Just being present is what matters. Just being present. 

When one is present there is no worry. No anxiety. No stress. No silence. No wondering when one will be back. A calm. A reassurance. A beautifully peaceful place in time. Can you picture this in your mind?

As we have each other I think of many who miss loved ones or miss out on true connections or companionships. Life happens. Life isn’t always a bed of roses. I wish it was but there are more thorny paths in life than I care to share. However I will always find ways to shift to positivity in life.

I’m currently working with a person who is single raising a young child. This person is amazing in so many ways and is doing the best for their child. Sometimes the two that make the miracle end up being better apart. In this case it’s definitely for the best for many reasons.  As the single parent/child duo emerged from the thorny road they travelled for too long, the puzzle pieces were left scattered. Not just on a table. Literally scattered to the point one had to search high and low for the pieces to put them back together. This is life for them. Many twists, turns and more thorns. 

Unfortunately, a cheering squad is missing as they out the life puzzle back together. Maybe it’s the ex’s side who fails to show up for visits today. Maybe it’s the temporary accommodations at night.  Maybe it’s just the lonely road of single parenting another day. Maybe is the constant juggling act with school shutdowns and balancing work/home all by oneself thanks to Corona. Maybe it’s missing the parental figure that was lost before the grandchild arrived. So many obstacles. So little support. Or so it seems to the one carrying the heavy load.

Fortunately I am there. Jumping up and down, cheering from a far, offering a listening ear, and so much more. Today more than ever I recognize people need people. In many different ways at different times. Companionship, trust, love, loyalty and overall presence. It seems simple in concept but many miss opportunities be present for others. The chance to be present in life. Or be a present to that person in need.

For me, I feel the universe whispers to me at times. The special times when certain people around me need to have a friend. A support. An outsider looking in. A new perspective. An unbiased party. I am to others what my dog is to me. I may not be all snuggly, cute and fluffy but I’m purposeful in my undivided attention to the needs of others.

My dog is purposeful in her loyalty to me. She recognizes I care for her. I support her. Much like a child relies on a parent. A parent needs support at times as well. In the case above I mentioned the single parent scenario. Another scenario may be an aging parent who needs the support of their adult child. The support that is just being present. No parent wants to feel like they are a burden.

Do you have a friend to family member you could do a better job being present for? Why not make present and see how much that gift is appreciated?

3Splitz Farm, family

Never Have I Ever

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Never have I ever…

….driven a tractor.

….cleared out my own patch of overgrown rose bushes.

….mowed acre after hilly acre of thick wet grass with a push mower.

….ridden on a four-wheeler.

….shared my bed with a dog.

….eaten an avocado.

….moved myself into a farmhouse.

If we were playing the game “never have I ever,” which of these would you agree with?  Which have you already done?

In our first couple of weekends on the farm, at least one of our farmily knocked each of these things off our “never have I ever” lists.  I’ll let you wonder which belongs to who.  There are some surprises.  Many more not listed here.  And ones we can’t even imagine on the horizon.

Funny how this new adventure is taking us each on refreshing paths.  New experiences and challenges are possible at every turn.  Some take deep breaths before we try.  Some take asking questions, even a little trial and error.  It’s learning about the land, ourselves, and even each other.  We are knocking things off our lists while filling up our time with amazing memories.

What’s on your “never have I ever” list that you need to cross off?

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challenges

Feeling Violated

I made a mistake the other day. I was careless. I used poor judgment. The list goes on and on. I let myself feel discouraged.

Because of my actions or inactions, I suffered. My wallet was stolen and / or misplaced. If the latter was the case a kind soul would have returned it. However if it was stolen the person would use it for their gain.

How did the situation turn nout? For the worse. Whomever located the wallet found a decent amount of cash, a photo ID, and two credit cards. They could have returned it but they didn’t.  They went to:

The liquor store first. Then the gas station. Then the local Autozone. The local sporting goods store. On to the tractor supply store. Then amazon. Then Boost mobile. A cheap hotel. Hotels.com was next. Then back to the sporting goods store 3 more times. Off to a shoe store. Back to a few gas stations.

All within less than ten miles from the place the wallet was misplaced. I feel violated. Somebody in my community is using my ID and my cards frivolously. Knowing full well it’s not theirs. It’s wrong. It’s stealing. It’s not nice.

The bad part is the business I lost the card at is one I frequent. Can I go back? I wonder if the person behind the counter took it? So many questions. The dilemma of filing a police report. Each place they chose to charge the card has cameras. The amount they charged will surely put them behind bars. Is it worth it for me? For them? For anyone?

At the end of the day, I cancelled my cards. All is okay in my world except for the fact my photo ID is floating around. Or maybe they discarded it. Maybe it’s a souvenir. It makes me feel a bit dirty and violated. Will they sell my information? Will they stalk my address?

Today’s world is full of many different people. People are messy and definitely make bad choices. It’s life.

I will unfortunately trust less now. I will lock everything up without hesitation. I will keep my head on a swivel and take mental notes of who, what, when and where I am and what my surroundings are. I won’t be violated in this way again.

I hope nobody has to feel the empty or loss I did over this situation. Clearly all items could be replaced but there is definitely an emotional scar left. A negative emotion.

Writing about emotions is healthy and why I chose to expand upon this situation. Life isn’t all a bed of roses. In my case it was a field of sharp prickly rose stems that wreaked havoc on me.

This fiasco also almost made me not attend a birthday celebration as I was in my feelings. That is also a fancy way of saying I was pouting. Needless to say I have the best group of friends who made me get my butt in gear so I could shake off the mad mojo and enjoy what was left of the day.

I did just that. I was happy until I saw that the person who stole my wallet was bold enough to hit the over $5,000.00 mark in fraudulent charges. That is more than a petty thief. That’s a habitual offender. Good luck to you whomever you are.

#2020sucks #2020shitstorm #stopthief

inspire, partnership

Feel the Power

Recently I stumbled on a story. I can’t remember the origin but it caught my attention. A book was mentioned.

I wasn’t in a position to procure the book, read the book or anything really. However, I was intrigued. With the curiosity I garnered the help of my business partner, whom I trust as an extension of me.

I said could you do me a favor? Sure! Grab the book and give it a quick read. She is a speed reader luckily so I knew it wouldn’t take her nearly as long as me to get to it. Little did I know that book would bring up many similarities in my relationship with my business partner as is shown in the book itself. I’d called that highly coincidental.

Like an amazing partner, she not only read the book but she passed it with some footnotes. I clearly love footnotes from her as her take is often different than mine but valued just the same. This is an exercise we have done in the past but it’s been a while.

Now my turn to read. I’m pleasantly surprised. So many crossovers to my life yet different in many ways. One of the items I enjoyed most in the book were the quotes. Some I liked more than others but they all spurred thought in my mind.

The one pictured above has to resonate with almost anyone who reads this blog and for that I am happy to share it!

I even passed clips of this book on to friends as motivation and plan to rehome the book as soon as I’m ready to part with it.

Recently I wrote a post about take the class. Now I’m saying read the book. Read the damn book people.

Make the time. I didn’t really have time but I fit it in while riding my stationary bike or waiting in offices and other places I found a few minutes of down time.

Grow your knowledge. Stretch your limits. Inspiration and motivation can be hidden in the places we least expect them to be.

Be honest with yourself. You will grow into greatness when you reach the point where you can continually learn in any environment. This week alone I learned many things about myself.

Some pleasant some not so pleasant. Now what I choose to do with that knowledge will set me on fire or leave me sitting in the same spot I was yesterday.

I normally chose forward progress. What do you normally choose?

Today’s post goes out to two badass chicks who wrote High Heals. While I may not be endorsing their line of work I am however endorsing their forwarding thinking, creative minds, and all around badassery for leave their mark on the world.