Tag: words

challenges, perspective

Goodbye Vs.

2chicksandapen

Is there a difference between goodbye and see you later?

Yes!

Goodbye could mean you are heading off to work. Off to take a trip. You’re fired from a job. There are many uses for the phrase goodbye.

Similarly some may use the phrase see you later as you head off to work. Head off for that trip. After being fired from a job. I guess it depends on who is making the conversation that decides the definite nature of which term is more appropriate.

Will I see you later? 

Is later defined as same day?

Maybe later in the year?

Later in life?

Goodbye may be more long term in my mind. Parting ways not knowing when you will meet up again. Will you ever meet up again? Some refer to saying goodbyes at funeral for example.

Such an odd thing to write about yet it’s what’s on my mind. I recently parted ways with a person that I wasn’t sure what term to use.

See you soon?

Goodbye for now?

See you later?

Goodbye?

In the end I was thinking that goodbye may be too permanent of a choice in words. What if me saying goodbye meant good riddance in some way? What if goodbye was misinterpreted? I had many questions of myself on what to choose in the moment.

Sometimes we can’t see people we want to see up close and in person. I’m pretty sure we all learned that during Corona. FaceTime and other mediums definitely help with those traveling abroad, living abroad, those away at college or even distant family and friends. 

What gets tricky is when service isn’t available. No wifi access. Poor cell signal. A remote camp site. No access to technology which can be by design or not. Does that make the choice of words different when you have a gap in time that you will see or speak a person?

I think so. Bye for now. Offer hope for next connection whether in person or electronically. Maybe a special pact for how to insure the next connection point is solidified. How I must think about how to use the right words at the right time for the right situation.

This isn’t goodbye. It’s more like see you later. The date may be unimportant now but the hope of the day is ever present. Relationships can endure so much when communication is at the forefront of the relationship. Choosing words that are appropriate can be key in so many scenarios.

Finding common grounds for tomorrow even if tomorrow is days, months or weeks away. Hope. A simple four letter word that can carry forth one’s spirit to see the sunshine of tomorrow.

Dearest best friend in California who lives miles and miles away. For now I say goodbye to you. Not a forever goodbye but more of a see you later, although it may not be soon. It is my hopes to see you again when our vacation schedules sync up again. For now we can use whatever social mediums or web access we can find to keep our bond going. One day at a time. For we will know no matter the distance apart the strength of our connection can endure the the lapse in time.

I enjoyed thinking about how to reframe my goodbyes that I conduct in life. Goodbye to friends and family in the phone. Goodbyes to clients in person or by the phone. Am I a hug it out kind of person or a high five or maybe the awkward nothing.

Through this thought process/post I have decided I am very open to hugging it out in person. I am a what’s next for the business meeting closures. I am good with closures in emails. I am not good at goodbyes on the phone. When I’m done I’m done. But what if that was my last chance ever to say good bye?

Just a ponder post.

balance

She Said It

2chicksandapen

She typed it first.

Then she said it.

It was a compliment.

It wasn’t forced.

It was genuine.

My cheeks lit up a bit.

I was so happy to hear that I made an impact. I wasn’t trying to. Rather I was just being me. Being me was glorified by public appeal in an unexpected age group. How fabulous. A compliment from a young one. A growing one.

Just when I think there is no hope for the next generation, I get a glimpse of what can be. I then remember it’s the small seeds we plant. It’s the lessons lived. The opportunities given that will shape a person. I’m going to keep doing me. Many may judge but the one that matters most appreciates. I’m going to remain hopeful that one good outweighs the 10 struggles. 

This small footnote in my day will be long remembered. Cherished. How one little thing can mean so much to another. What can you do today to lift up another? Or maybe the question is how easily can you tear down another? What do you choose today?

For me I think I have the power in many instances to tear down another. I don’t do it often or if I do it’s not intentional, but sometimes it is. A form of self-preservation. Keeping with this thought we can all be doormats at some point in time. Sometimes it’s front and center as in your immediate family. They can be the worst. Taking for granted how special you are.

I believe that’s when it hurts the most. I’ve lived both sides of the equation. For me I savor the footnotes at the beginning of the post otherwise my days would be long and grueling if I focused on the latter.

You see people are ugly most days. Not always intentional but it happens. We still choose our reaction to the sourness. Sometimes you bark back. Sometimes you walk away. Sometimes you take it. Ultimately you decide. You live with the level of acceptance you desire for your self and others.

Some times I draw lines firmly. Other times I’m soft given variables in others. Recently I reset 100% because of a person who riled me up. I often think of the values I grew up with and how they have disciplined me for today and beyond. I think I instilled the same in my kids yet environments can skew your teachings. School influences. Internet options. Young teachers vs. tenured providing guidance when you are not near. Do-gooders in the world meddling based on what they see vs whole picture. Jaded views. 

In my early years I played outside more. I learned through self-discovery but in a more closed environment. I was very fortunate in my experiences yet sheltered in comparison to today. Cell phones. Distractions. So many variables. My views were tainted to the time I grew up in. My views were less worldly. Less public. Less stressful.

All in all grace is grace. Sometimes people need more grace than others. Sometimes we have to hold onto the one good to balance the 10 lessons one is learning. Growing up today is so much different than when I growing up.

I must remind myself of this often to savor the joy and focus less on differences.

For this post goes round and round but I hope that some words may have you reflect on your surroundings. What can be different. What can cause chaos. What role you can play to ease the stress of others.

Just a thought post.

challenges, dare to be different

Don’t Say Gay

2chicksandapen

“I am not gay!”

…the cry came from behind the swings. Then the young man came streaking across the playground toward the tall trees. “I am NOT gay! I AM NOT GAY!” Screamed with the terror of trying to outrun the boogie man, a cloud of cooties, a wild black bear and the abominable snowman all at once.

This summer, I am teaching third grade students. They are 9 or 10 years old. This is one interaction I witnessed this week on the playground.

I started the calm walk over to talk with him and the other boys who had been taunting him.

“What is going on?” I asked them. The conversation quietly began. One sheepishly admitted to calling another one gay. The one who used the word hung his head as he fessed up.

I hear over and over again that if we talk about gay families or students in elementary school, we are exposing them to this content way too early. Here’s the thing this playground taunt reminded me: THIS SO-CALLED “MATURE CONTENT” IS ALREADY THERE. It is already in our schools.

Some of our students have same-sex parents. They have siblings who are part of the LGBTQIA+ community, not to mention aunts, uncles, and grandparents. Then there are relationships they see in the media. Some of our elementary students even know they are in one of these groups, even if they don’t have the words for it yet. The vast majority of kids in our schools already know about this through observation and experience, just as they know about heterosexual relationships from a huge variety of sources.

Here’s what I know: if adult professionals in schools avoid talking about this topic at all, it is allowed to run rampant with misconceptions and ignorance. When I told these young men (really, they are boys) that being gay is not an awful thing, it’s just how some people are, their eyes popped and their jaws dropped. I could tell they had not heard that before.

I can’t allow students to run around on playgrounds and call people gay as if that is the worst thing they could be. How would a gay classmate feel, or a classmate with same sex parents?

Is it any wonder the rate of suicide attempts and suicidal thoughts is higher among LGBTQ young people if their identity is used as an insult? And adults just stand by and watch it happen?

I get it…It’s not always easy to talk about for people of many ages. One of my daughter’s friends who came out in the past couple of years saw me at a party recently. She said “Miss Beth, you forgot to wish me a Happy Pride Month!” I hugged her and wished her Happy Pride Month with a smile. I love seeing her come into her own and embrace her truth.

Then I showed her my watch face, which made her eyes light up. I have my Apple Watch set on one of the new Pride faces. It may seem little, but even small signals to young people that they are seen, accepted, and embraced for who they are matter. And I will continue to say it and show it in whatever ways I can.

awareness

I Am

2chicksandapen

In today’s episode of “words matter…”

Watch how you speak about yourself.

A family member of mine recently had surgery. It was pretty major, requiring him to take a serious step back from his hard-working, able-bodied lifestyle. He went from working 60-80 hours a week in a physically demanding job to passing most of his waking hours sitting on the couch, healing. He went from managing many tasks for multiple businesses and family members to needing help tying his shoes and buttoning his shirt. It would be a long recovery.

A couple of days after the surgery, as he slowly slumped up the stairs to move from couch to bed, I heard him clearly mutter “I am pathetic.”

To which I responded, no…you may not feel well or energetic, but you are not pathetic. You are healing. You are making progress. You are doing the best you can. You are doing what needs to be done.

I hear it in the words of my friends often, too. I am so stupid. Why am I this way? I am such an idiot. I am such a dumbass. Whatever insult you feel you deserve in the moment.

Does this gloss over every mistake? No. But it’s the “I am…” that we have to look out for. Don’t mistake how you’re feeling for who you are. Don’t confuse an error you made with your identity. Watch how you speak to and about yourself. Don’t put that energy out into the universe.

Instead, tell yourself you are strong. You are on the right track. You are figuring it out. If you screwed up, own it and vow to do better. “I am ready to learn and improve.” Whatever you need to say to and about yourself, keep it positive. If you make a mistake, you can remark about the action, not about who you are as a person.

Words matter, use them wisely, even when you’re just talking to and about yourself! Today’s healthy mindset hack. Watch your language!

challenges

Wordle Sucks

2chicksandapen

I love a good word search. I love a clever word. I enjoyed Wheel of Fortune when I was a kid. I even like Scrabble. I generally like words, but my word depth is average at best. Now my writing partner is more of a word wizard. The one who knows all the words and their meaning in the English language. Me not so much.

About 15 days ago my word wisdom was tangled with my writings not with games.

Enter the stupid game of Wordle that I now play daily because I’m a bit neurotic. Yes, my oldest man child tossed me to the wolves on day one with the introduction. Didn’t really go over the rules but I muddled through it. I felt like I was playing Wheel of Fortune minus the fortune. He said he does it first thing in the morning to stimulate his mind. Okay, I said I will give that a try. I think he tricked me.

Those who know me, understand how much I dislike phone games. However, this was a way to stimulate my mind and enhance my word library possibly or that was how he pitched it. I fell for it. Well, I don’t have time to stare at a screen and get angry especially at the beginning of each day. This is mainly why I don’t turn on the news. 

Wordle has sucked me in and if I forget to Wordle I get that text reminder from 1 of 3 pals. It’s either a success or failure text. That sparks my curiosity. I have to try. Then when I complain about them contributing to my delinquency I get this.

Gal pal text:

It’s not a waste. You’re using brain power.

My reply:

I will add your commentary to my blog post. Input sarcasm.

The smarty pants friend chimes in:

I tell my students if they spend their days only doing things that are easy they aren’t growing much. Productive struggle is worth it.

Me:

Begins to pout silently.

Here I am about 15 days later scratching my head at why do I torture myself on the daily. Today was the same five letters and I had the last three. Sitting at the kitchen table on a rainy day. I actually went old school and took out my paper to eliminate options and I couldn’t see it. I knew it was obvious but just could get it. I had to put it aside and circle back.

I asked a family member if they could see the word and they said yes. Boy did that irritate me. Don’t give me any hints. I stewed and stewed. Giant. Grant. Plant. None of which would be correct. R wasn’t in the word bank. L wasn’t in the word bank. I wasn’t available. Stupid game. Stupid me. Why oh why do I continue.

Chant was the word. As annoying as it was, it was done. Now I will rise again tomorrow to start again. The madness. The annoyance. The challenge. The awaking. The brilliance. I am sure I will chant over and over how stupid this game is. 

Do you Wordle? Do you get frustrated? Who put you on the Wordle path? If you are not on it, I hope this post triggers you to try it. May you become as addicted to Wordle as me. I mean there could be worst things to be addicted to, right?

Wordle now makes me think of words differently. It’s also funny how Wordle makes it’s way into my writings. I guess we will categorize this as current events, the word edition since Wordle is all the hype at the moment.