Tag: worth it

adventure

Price is Not Right

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Oh a few years ago I booked my first flight on Spirit Airlines. It was a treat to say the least. Discount airline means you need to have really low expectations. For this trip I went with the low price deal having no idea how thrifty the experience would be. In the end I vowed never to fly Spirit again and have held true to my word.

However, I had to use Jet Blue recently to get to a destination that carrier frequents on short notice. Cheap was key. My memories of Spirit were tugging on my emotions. Don’t do it my subconscious was saying, but I didn’t listen. I went with the cheap seat as it was just one day in and out. I could pack light.

First email: warning no baggage with this ticket. Just a personal bag like a purse or backpack.

Reminder: no overhead storage with this seat.

Attention: if you have to check a bag it’s a minimum of $65 at the gate.

I have a backpack. I’m packing light. Somehow I think putting my underwear in the bag might cause me to check the bag for $65. I’m seriously having anxiety over the 10 email warnings I’m getting what what I can’t do. Holy cow. Does this leadership team think this wins over customers? For the first time I took out a measuring tape to make sure my backpack fit the dimensions. Insanity.

I can’t wait for the bumpy flight. The no leg room. The lack of snacks. The grouchy people. The overall shitshow I signed myself up for. Why oh why do I torture myself to save a buck? But of course I need to wait. 7:32 pm departure. The time comes and goes.

It’s dead silence on the dark plane while we sit at the gate. Still have a glare from the screen in front of me that I can’t turn off. Just the normal babies crying despite me wearing headphones. I know I said it was quiet, but the babies pierce through with their cries amidst the silence of others. The screen in front of me is all advertisements to pay money for access.  Taunting me during this wait. I wonder how many cave in. Oh, how I miss Delta.

I get an email before I hear an overhead announcement. Take off is now 7:59, but it’s already past 8. The first announcement says we are waiting on bags to be loaded. Okay sounds legit. Or does it? Then I stew on that for a bit since I have time.

15 minutes later, the update is well they are short staffed with laborers to load. It’s taking longer than expected. This is funny. Good thing I still have internet. The guy next to me also has the nervous shakes. One leg goes up and down. Fast. Slower. Super fast. I think it’s nerves but it could be time to go to the bathroom. If he keeps it up I will have to go.

 I almost forgot to mention the poor dad with 2 boys under age 10 who were split up. The dad is in one of the front rows. I’m guessing a six year old is across from me. The other 8 year old is between them. The one closest to me has no headphones. No family. No stacks. I feel for him and the lady next to him who is trying to help him cope. Just heartbreaking. I guess that’s another downside of cheap airfare. You don’t get to sit together unless you pay the fee. 

Just got another email. Another 15 mins are added to take off. I guess the cheap airfare accounts for your time wasted which would then equate to the cost of Delta. I guess I have learned another lesson. Plan ahead to avoid having to choose cheap again. Deadline missed again. 

I will end this post here as it’s about as much negative as I can stand to write about. Well, it’s enough for today anyway. Tomorrow I rant again if I am at the gate for hours.

author moments, health

The Massage. Some Womanly Advice. Don’t Miss This…

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It’s been a long awaited time to visit my favorite massage therapist due primarily to Corona restrictions and a limited schedule offered when the spa actually re-opened.

Today was the day. It’s been almost two years since I was going to get a massage from my favorite masseuse. He is tall, strong and has that sexy European accent. That’s not what I get most excited about though. It’s the movement techniques he applies. It’s like a dance of sorts. As relaxing music plays in the background the pressure points in your body are hit. Gentle and harsh motions. Deep as well surface penetration is applied in a methodical way.

Back to the dance. He leads and my body reacts. It’s that simple. I need to release the tension of the world and allow my body to enter the relaxation state that many don’t experience. And then while in that moment, my body dances or receives the massage motions/movements. The tension goes away. The aches subside. Nothing else matters. No background noise is heard aside from the gentle sound of background music.

When the body moves well there is an occasional pop or natural release. From hot stones to warm towels to aroma therapy, the experience is like no other. Of course I have had other massages but this therapist is by far my favorite due to his techniques.

Face down is how it begins. The shoulders. The back. The arms. The hips. The thighs. The legs. Nothing is skipped. You feel the pressure and release in your quads. Your calves. Your IT bands. Even your fingers and toes.

Then there is a pause. The slight pause is time for the flip. Flat on your back the process starts again. More oil. More warm towels. More pampering from head to toe. The forearms. The chest muscles feel the finger rub to get the smaller area. The triceps and biceps get a little more pressure. The toes crack. The feet are flexed in new ways.

I won’t give you every last detail however I will say I am completely refreshed. My mind. My body. My soul. I am capping off my session with very berry smoothie. Pictured above is the cherry on top. The chilly, protein packed refreshment. Now I am off to enjoy the rest of my weekend.

Some may say this is me spoiling myself and unneeded.  I will respond with this is self care and you should try it! From me to you. Get the massage. Spoil yourself. You are worth it! For my male readers: spoil your partner. Let them know you are okay with them relaxing and unwinding. 

coaching

Kindness Note

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I received a note of kindness or gratitude a couple of weeks ago from a previous person I coached. It was unexpected and full of sweetness from a young lady. I was over the moon excited that day because I was happy I made an impact.

Then just a few days ago I received another note of thanks but this one was a little different. This was from a player who didn’t make my team but worked hard as an alternate and continued to work on themselves to grow. They didn’t make my team but they made the next team they tried out for. They were appreciative of the coaching, development plan provided, and belief instilled in them despite my short interactions. I was literally swept away by a second young person.

I was again over the moon excited that whole day because I made an impact. It got me thinking about the depth of our relations, impacts and so much more. Many of the kids I coached have reached seniors in high school. Some will go on to play in college while others will enjoy their last years at the high school level.

Whatever their path I’m still cheering for them from afar. Who knew when I coached first graders, fifth graders, or high schoolers how deep my impact would go? I was doing a volunteer job. One I took pride in and invested not only my time but my everything in. It seemed thankless on some days yet it was all worth it when I look back.

There are days I miss coaching. There are also days I’m glad to not be coaching due to politics. At the end of the day I have years of coaching to look back on and I have years ahead to cheer for those I coached as they grow even more. This is the fun part or the added benefit of being a coach. The gift that keeps on giving.

As college commitment times are upon us, I am looking forward to seeing who gets invited to play at the next level, aka college. Not all may desire this path and that is okay. I will just cheer for them when they reach their own milestone, whatever they set in their mind as their next big thing.

I am forever grateful for my coaching time, families that have become friends, kids who have grown to adults and everything that goes along with coaching. The smiles, high fives, tears, wardrobe malfunctions, silly stories, etc.

If you have a chance to mentor or coach a person at any stage in life, go for it. You will receive an abundance of pride in helping another reach their potential that they may not see in themselves.

perspective

Value

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I have thought a lot about value in the past few weeks. A few articles I have read, some life experiences and then some other circumstances pushed the value proposition in front of my eyes again. Below is my take on my value perception today.

My first note is relating to essential jobs and the current state of the employment scenario. Many teachers, caregivers, grocery clerks, nurses, among others are female. It appears there is a shift in roles on the employment side that reflect more women in the workplace are noted as essential. How do we value these roles and the dual nature still expected on the home front as teacher and cook and so on? My perception is many overlook this value on the home front. I could be wrong or I should say I hope I am wrong but time will tell.

Next up is the value of independence. My perceived value of independence is off the charts. When it comes to my kids I think they need to be self-reliant when they enter adulthood. They need to independently seek answers to find solutions to problems they didn’t anticipate in life. This is ever so important now because we are in unprecedented times. There is no roadmap. We need to teach our kids to bend and flex so they have value in times like this.

A different example of independence would be relating to getting time to do things on your own. Being able to spend money on your own. Make decisions independently. Whether you you are a homemaker, student, or bread winner in your family having the opportunity to spend independently has value. Limits can be set on amounts but there is a huge value in independence from a financial or recreational perspective.

Moving on, self worth is an area some overlook. The value set on oneself is extremely important. In a household, if one spouse devalues another there is a rippling effect that can take shape amongst the ranks of a family. Each person within a family needs to know their value. Each amount may be different but if one doesn’t articulate their value it could be overlooked.

This has surfaced a few times for me when I look at role reversal during corona. A once male-dominated family may be more reliant on the female spouse income during this turbulent time. That is a big value in that family now, to maybe have health insurance and steady income from the grocery clerk job. That value might have been overlooked in the past or maybe thought of as a hobby. Either way it should be noted even if temporary.

Finally, self care including fitness, friendships, healthy eating and so on. Self care ties into so many aspects of life. One must feel good in their own skin to support others. One must be in good mental, physical and emotional shape to endure critical times such as corona that make one dig deep to navigate troubled waters. Self care has a value that many overlook. Poor decisions in the past may lead to painful times today. Don’t underestimate the value of self care especially in today’s environmental conditions.

Value is everywhere. The examples above are not all-inclusive. Look around your world and define not only your value but those around you. Think about independence, self care, contributions and communicate with your tribe. Set a plan for yourself in the not-so-distant future to grow your personal value. Share your growth with others.

Don’t be a discount coupon in life. Don’t let somebody redeem a lesser value for you. Demand premium value for you. You are always worth top dollar!

perspective

The Offer

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The offer came with sacrifice. The offer on one side looked good. The offer on the other side looked rather different. How does one decide to accept or deny the offer? One decides with careful consideration I hope.

Now the offer type doesn’t really matter. It could be a new job offer. It could be a promotion offer. It could be a relocation offer. It be an offer to buy a home. It could be an offer to buy a car. At the end of the day an offer is just that. An offer!

An offer can be accepted. An offer can be rejected. An offer can be counter offered and/or negotiated. In any offer there are various parties involved. It’s a transaction of sorts.

For my example here I will use the sports team offer. I coach a competitive-level team thus I extend offers for kids to play on my team based on skills, talents and overall spots available on my team. Not everyone gets an invite. The main reason being there are normally more applicants than available spots. Just like the job market. More candidates than openings.

When offers are extended one person could be overjoyed by their offer and another could feel like the offer is not reflective of their worth. If one accepts the offer and one denies the offer, should there be any negative feelings toward the one who denied the offer?

In my mind the answer is a big fat no. An offer is made and the other party has a choice to take the offer or decline the offer. It’s pretty simple.

I recently had a property for sale. I got an offer to buy it. I didn’t like the offer. I provided a counter offer. This is customary in a real estate transaction thus it’s noted as generally acceptable to deny or counter offer. This also reflects my perception of my property’s value. It may even have some emotions involved in the decision if I had owned the property a while.

As a person, if I applied for a job and I received on offer but the compensation wasn’t enough to pay my bills, meaning it wasn’t a good fit, would my friends be disappointed if I didn’t take the offer? It would 100% be my choice so I would think not, unless one of those friends was assisting me financially. In that case a friend may think I should take the offer as some money is better than no money. If the company was disappointed, I would just be honest with my reasoning and let them know if budget money frees up to call me back. This 100% has to do with my personal value and how I would not settle for less than what I thought I was worth.

Circling back to the sports team example, if I was the coach of a high school soccer team and I offered a slot to boy A on varsity and a slot to boy B on junior varsity should there be any worry that one may deny my offer to either team?

I wouldn’t think so because as a coach I know I made offers to the players I thought were best for varsity. If the varsity player declined their offer, I would have a runner-up or next-in-line person to offer the open slot to. If on the other hand, the junior varsity player didn’t accept their offer what would I do?

Nothing. I would do nothing unless that person asked what they could do to get better for the next tryout. I would only provide those details if I was probed. The offer was denied thus I would move on until the next review of open slots next year.

At the end of the day offers get made in so many areas of life. The sooner we all learn that we can’t win all the time the better. Finally the Patriots football team/fans learned that lesson before another Super Bowl this year. It is also important to learn that we should never judge another until we have lived a day in their shoes.

The emotional aspect of the house sale could have to do with a family member being deceased and the only memories left were made in that home. How do you put a value on that?

The emotion involved in the job scenario could be how hard the person worked professionally to reach a certain pay level yet the job offer was below the minimum threshold that person set for themselves.

The emotion behind the JV offer could be that their best friend made varsity and the other person didn’t think the game would be fun without their bestie. Or maybe it was a set of identical twins and one made varsity while the other made junior varsity. How tricky would that scenario be?

Life is tricky. Balance is important. Understanding and valuing the other side of an equation and offer can sometimes get missed especially when emotions are high. Remember no good decision is made when emotions are high.

Always take time. Maybe 24 hours to evaluate offers to see the pros and cons before making a rash decision. I know when dealing with real estate offers they are time sensitive yet the time allows for consideration.

This post spurred from a couple of online articles relating to high school sports, the value of a coach and also the lack of sincerity of coaches who make cuts! I’m a coach. I make cuts. It’s not easy but I normally have reasons. Some may agree with me some may not. That’s life.

When I read negative articles I often try to put myself in the other person’s shoes and wonder how this situation has impacted them. I then reflect and take action as needed. I wish more people did that vs. casting judgment.

I also took action after reading the articles and let my daughter’s basketball coach know how much I appreciated her time and coaching of my daughter. A good coach can help grow confidence and further passion of an activity or sport. A coach who only cares about winning can knock down a player’s confidence in a pinch and simultaneously instill a dislike for the sport once loved.

Just a night of reflection and writing time for me. It is my hope that this blog reaches someone who needs to hear this message:

You define your personal value.
You are a reflection of yourself, make yourself proud.
You say yes or no to all things in life.
You can grow from adversity.
You can win if you choose to win. It’s all about choices in life.

We all make mistakes. We all have the ability to bounce back after crazy times ensue. Will you take the next offer if it’s lower than you hoped for? What would you gain from taking a subpar offer?

In home sales if an offer seems inferior you may have to step back to evaluate deeper. If you have to pay x more dollars for three months while you get a new offer was the first offer that bad? Decisions, decisions.

Life is full of decisions, opportunities, curve balls, and offers. You will never make all the right choices. But one can always learn from missed opportunities. Life is a gamble.

Keep gambling!