Tag: livingmybestlife

anonymous letters

Just One

2chicksandapen

I had somebody start a conversation with me recently regarding social media. It was an out of the blue conversation to say the least. However that simple banter made me think about just one picture. How many may view just one picture online and form a conclusion. Make an assumption. Cast doubt. React in haste. Just one picture online could do just that. Wreak havoc. Whether fact or fiction. Online viewers decide without questioning the source most often.

I see pictures as an entry way to story telling. An opportunity to share a lived experience. The photo can be a reminder or a simple visual cue. However my story includes words and a picture to create a story. I’m sure you know how one picture could be presumed to be one way when it was really another without context. Or maybe the picture was just staged for arousal. So many what ifs in the social media media world. For those who watch from afar or surf your friends list to see what’s up in their life online, you may or may not be getting the whole picture. Only a glimpse. Meaning there is more to the story.

Some may post happiness. Others may post sadness. Some may just post for attention. There are even some who post for their family far away to watch their kids grow. The list could go on and on. The point is one picture isn’t life. It’s a moment in time. A story that will fade until the next new story hits.

My coffee cup above is a story in itself. It’s my favorite coffee shop in a little mountain town of Blairsville, Georgia. Sitting on prime real estate on the city square. I guess you wouldn’t know that from the picture alone if you saw this photo on my social media. However, it’s a great spot to visit should you be in the area.

The decor inside is rustic with local flair. T-shirts are sold for extra revenue and advertising by the front counter. Parking isn’t the best but it’s manageable. The staff isn’t always the quickest, but they do things on mountain time which is generally slower than most visitors expect. It closes early thus you won’t find your coffee fix in the evening. A small menu is available for soup, sammies and other breakfast items. The muffins look good but definitely not the most delicious ever as I’m sure they are made offsite. Just a tidbit.

There is always a mix of people in the shop. From those on laptops maybe trying to get a signal while staying in a remote mountain cabin. There are always some locals. The tourist crowd. The passers by. Sometimes you might catch the motorcycle group stopping in for a pit stop. I guess I’d be a regular on an extremely part time basis.

My coffee is to go but as you can see from the picture it’s over flowing with sorghum whipped cream, a local specialty in the fall. Chocolate and caramel drizzle of course. No skimping on the frills at this place. Maybe that’s part of why I like it. A local coffee shop isn’t fixed on fill 3/4 full and put the cover on. Here it’s let them have a few sips before they hit the road. Enjoy the ambiance. That’s exactly what I did. I enjoyed some then hit the road.

I didn’t post this picture on social media rather I wrote this quick story about one of my guilty pleasures in life. A warm cup of coffee. Some fluffy whipped toppings. A little mountain town. A pit stop from life. I am also a huge sucker for those who put messages on cups. This message may be generic but it’s still a good reminder to have fun.

This cute little coffee cup photo story was just meant to show you there was more beyond the picture. It’s still not all encompassing because I never said who I was with, if anyone. I never disclosed when I was present. I never said if I finished the drink or scalded myself before making it to the car. Keeping this in mind unless you actually lived the experience behind the photo you don’t know the whole story. 

Don’t be a social media stalker. Don’t judge others for what they post or don’t post. Let others use social media as it fits their life. Enjoy the nibble you get if you want to look but don’t be that one that creates drama from social media. Remember there are those who use social media for therapy session, political rants and all kinds of other weird stuff.

challenges

The S Word

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What word(s) am I referring to?

Sex

Shame

Suicide

The three S words noted above are tricky words in a way. They can somewhat be connected. They are also difficult for many to talk openly about.

I took a poll online of some acquaintances. Different genders. Different generations. Different lifestyles. Different life exposures. It was interesting to review the responses.

Sex is hard to talk about for some due to their upbringing. Some find it tricky due to their personal choices. Others find the word only challenging if the audience was an elder. 

Suicide was next up on the list. The ones I thought could speak openly about it found it difficult. The ones that had exposure in the past were okay to talk about it but not secure or confident by any means. Others just saw it as taboo.

Shame brought up a mixed bag of reactions. Especially if shame was linked to either of the other S words. So much to think about.

At the end of the day I challenge you to think about these words in isolation. How comfortable are you opening up a discussion on the word itself or how would you react if one asked you to talk about it?

Sex – a parent has to be prepared for this conversation. A friend may need to counsel a friend on sexual orientation. A grandparent may need to offer support in an abusive situation. Don’t be afraid of this S word. Instead think about how you can prepare yourself to converse about it no matter what the circumstances.

Suicide – everyone should say the word out loud. Everyone should be comfortable asking a friend, family member, coworker or close connection if they are feeling so bad they thought about harming themselves. If the answer is yes, one should probe and actually use the S word to see if that person needs help. Today’s world is challenging for many. Being available to a person struggling may be lifesaving. Practice the word. It’s an important word to have in your vocabulary.

Shame – one can feel shame over the the littlest things. What’s a mole hill to you is a mountain to others. Understanding how a person can feel shame may help you be a better person. This S word can be tough depending on the circumstances. Keep the word in the back of your mind. Be kind to others. 

My S word project was a little random but it was very thought provoking. I hope just the sharing of the words and the brief content of this blog may make you think before you speak. Think before you act. Think before you type. Words are powerful but can also be dangerous. Use your words wisely. Cherish those around you and look to share kind words with others when you can.

Our world has enough hate today. Let’s focus on kindness and shift the S words to promote positive thoughts:

Sunshine

Smile

Supportive

Sweet

Social

Soothe

Success

The above words are a few that come to mind for me. Write your list of a words today. Practice using them in 2021. Focus on the positives but be ready to talk when somebody needs you to cover the other S words! Today’s thought post is aimed at helping others. Do what you can to be prepared to help somebody when the need arises. 

Happy January!

challenges, dare to be different

Opportunities and Obstacles

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Deep breath…..

Sometimes life puts obstacles in front of us to see how we can hold up through challenges. The roars of 2020 were not for the weak in mind, body or spirit. Even the strongest and bravest souls faced some kind of adversity.

Oddly enough any obstacle can be turned into an opportunity. For me one area was coaching. How to coach through a pandemic. An obstacle to some but an opportunity to many. Nothing in a text book that I can recall on how to push through a pandemic, but that’s okay. I figured it out and am working on it daily.

As I coach I also get to share my tactics with others. Today when my efforts were validated, I got to grin knowing 2020 didn’t wipe me out. It showed me how to be resilient. It also made me more aware of the importance of sharing my successes with others. 

I am resourceful. Years of experience. A variety of tools in the tool box and each affords me the luxury of having options. Each option or path leads to an opportunity. An opportunity is what you make of it. Sharing this outlook with others will create a domino effect. 
Take a chance.

And if for some reason you missed a good opportunity, another one will come along, I promise. The key is don’t wait the next time. Seize the opportunity. Discover obstacles. Turn obstacles into non-issues. New opportunities will then keep branching off.

Trust the process.

Take chances.

Don’t be scared to learn from a missed opportunity either. It’s just like a baseball game. You can’t win every game played forever. The odds lead to some losses. And losing is okay as long as you spin it into a learning opportunity. 

My favorite business question is: if you could start over again what would you do differently? 9 out of 10 times there is a list of changes. Those are the strong leaders. Those who can’t see an opportunity from a failure will say I’d change nothing. I have unfortunately met many like the latter.

Let 2021 be a year of you. Your obstacles. Your opportunities. Your chances. Your experiences.

Don’t let Debbie Downers steer you away from chance. A chance is an opportunity for you to be great. I know many who will not take a chance in today’s uncertain times. I stand celebrating those folks as they give me more choices in which opportunity I will take and seize. 

Here’s to living for obstacles and opportunities in 2021 and beyond. Experience life. Your way.

dare to be different

Growth

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This year I grew a lot. I physically grew a lot when I added that extra Corona cooped-up-all-day poundage. I grew emotionally when I battled the loss of many loved ones in isolation amidst a pandemic. I grew socially by deepening my connections with those around me. It was a growth year for me overall.

Growth doesn’t have to always do with money or wealth to define success. Growth happens in many stages of your life when you are most vulnerable. It’s the sweet spot of vulnerability that allows for the biggest growth to happen in my mind.

An area I challenged myself to grow this year was unlikely. Many shook their head in wonder, disbelief or just a bit of a why attitude. That’s okay. Let others wonder and watch while I grow. While I grow in many ways.

As my mindset shifts so do my priorities. As kids age, time frees up, and exploration begins. The mature adult in me gets to try to conquer new things that may have been out of reach with kids in tow or otherwise.

My future is bright for many reasons but one area I’m most excited about is growth. Look for future posts on growing from nothing to something. From something to big things. I am for sure a visionary. Hope you stay tuned for my growing tales.

It’s also a good sidebar note – when you grow others may notice. It may ignite a spark in them to level up. It could be your child. Your coworker. Your friend. Anyone observing from a distance. Growth can be infectious.

adventure

Short Chapter, Long Story

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Little known fact about me as a reader: I LOVE short chapters.

When I start a chapter, I often (ahem, always) find myself flipping forward, scanning to see how long the chapter is.  If it’s short, I am much more motivated to keep reading with interest.  Long chapters bog me down.  Ever since my third grade teacher read Sideways Stories from Wayside School aloud, each chapter just a handful of punchy, memorable pages, I’ve been a short chapter fan.  I like to see the story move.  I like to see progress.

By contrast, many chapters in my life tend to be on the long side.  I’m a slow thinker, a slow decision maker.  Not many cliffhangers.  Relatively few unexpected turns.  Pretty predictable.  Not really the stuff of a best seller.

Every once in a while, though, life takes a truly unexpected turn.  Things that I thought were fated or immovable turn out to be flexible.  Something that was maybe just a glimmer on a far off horizon explodes into the sky at staggering speed. An opportunity brought into my story by one of its most adventurous characters. A plot twist even I didn’t see coming.

And, in a surprising move, instead of watching the story fly by, this time I actually grabbed onto the streaking star and decided to ride along.  Instead of watching stories happen for others, I jumped in, embraced the promising unknown, and decided to start a chapter that is entirely new.  For many, it will be a jaw dropper, a head scratcher, even a whisper-behind-the-back moment.  Let them watch, confusion to amazement.

Sunsets and sunrises somewhere different.  Dramatic changes in just a handful of punchy, memorable pages.

A short chapter, yes.  A beautiful, breathtaking plot twist in a long, long story.