Tag: lifelessons

challenges

Have To, Get To

2chicksandapen

Lately, life has seemed pretty annoying in quite a few regards. Boring and trivial tasks pile up. Things I don’t enjoy or find satisfying are playing a bigger role in my work life. People don’t come through on what they said they would do. Frustrations at every turn. This really impacts my mood and mental state.

When I can get myself to step back and be aware of it, I try to flip my mindset from “have to” to “get to.”

When clerical tasks get piled on a work, instead of thinking “I have to do all these hours of mindless work,” I tell myself that I get to support teachers and make their days better, which is a part of my job that I value.

When a friend doesn’t come through for me, instead of feeling angry that I have to go it alone, I remind myself that I get to find out how strong I am on my own.

When the administrative muck of life comes calling, and car repairs, insurance plans, routine health visits, and phone calls make up so much of my to do list, instead of thinking I have to handle all this boring, time-sucking mess, I convince myself that I get to take care of things like this because I have a full, robust life that shouldn’t be undermined by my laziness and resistance. Sometimes my little mental flip-flop works. But, sometimes it doesn’t.

A big part of our theme at work this year is doing more things that bring you joy. Unfortunately, there just really aren’t that many. Changing my mind to try to cope and make the annoying stuff meaningful or at least relevant is my coping strategy right now. Sometimes the main thing you can change is your mind. Most of the time, you can’t change things or people. You can change your reaction to it. Release situations and people from expectations. Change your “have tos” to “get tos” and see if your outlook improves.

challenges, perspective, Uncategorized

Growth

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I’ve been thinking a lot of growth lately. Not physically growing like increasing my waist size. I’m thinking more like overall development in multiple areas of life.

Trying new foods for example. Over the past few months I’ve been wanting to increase my daily protein intake. I’ve dialed into various resources to get some hints and best practices. A few takeaways to share:

Compounding protein. Find what you like and increase the dosage. 3 ounces of ham? Just double it. Yogurt, double it. Maybe find a sugar-free Greek version you like. Maybe even a yogurt drink. Mix it up if you can. For me this was a growth area, learning new ways to meet my protein objective for the day.

Aging. Not always a fun topic to discuss for folks my age as there are many trials and tribulations associated with those around the 50-year-old mark. However, I’ve been learning new things. I’ve learned to enjoy road tripping in a RV which is in itself a skill to master. Then I flip the switch to my youngest child who is turning 18. The growth going into adulthood is so much different yet full of learning opportunities for both the parent and the soon-to-be adult. New jobs. Legal responsibilities. Taxes. Higher education. Bills. The list goes on and on. 

New environments. This summer I opted to play a new sport: pickleball. Never played before. Never watched a match in person or on TV. I fell in love with the concept of learning. Meeting new people. Stepping into a new arena of sorts. Challenging myself to be better. To learn new methods. To learn the lingo. All in all it was a great experience socially, physically, and cognitively.

Attire: we all have our basic go-to items. The favorite jeans. The sweats. The leggings. The favorite shirt. In the past few months I opted for a short in a color I absolutely never wear. I chose a couple of button-up shirts that are really not my style but definitely fun to wear on occasion. I mixed up a stable go-to outfit with something new and some old to change up the look a little. These little modifications represented growth to me. Oddly different growth than many may celebrate but for me it was growth in my own way.

Patience: mastering and remastering my patience muscles. This is serious growth. Dealing with kids who keep coming back for x, y, and z requires patience and patience on steroids sometimes. Adjusting to work / life balances as you hit the empty nester milestone. The golden years. The muscles that need flexing dealing with changes in partners / spouses or other complicated family dynamics. As we age we must undergo a serious re-haul of our patience muscles, more than once.

As a reflection person, I like to celebrate moments like these. Small as they may be to some, they were valuable enough for me to share on here. With that being said I challenge you to self-reflect and think about your own growth.

Have you challenged yourself to climb a new mountain?

Have you decided to take a trip of a lifetime to a new destination?

Have you decided to take a leap of faith and try something new?

Have you been thinking about betting on yourself? Go for it! You will never grow if you stay stagnant. You will miss opportunity after opportunity. Don’t just put a toe in the sand. Run into the ocean and get wet. Get wet in life. That’s when you grow!

adventure

Bryson City

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A quick road trip popped up on the calendar. The destination was tucked away in the mountains of North Carolina in a place called Bryson City. My first time to the area and I really had no expectations. A little fun. A little friends. Some time away.

The map took a twist and planted my RV on a narrow dirt road winding around the river. Impressive by sight of beauty, but more nerve wracking to be a passenger looking over the embankment of a narrow gravel road just after rain had hit. Oncoming trucks squeezing into the already thin road definitely made me bite my nails a few times.

My first stop was the rustic campground I booked on a whim. Not much more than a gravel pad laid by a creek with a sewer, water and power connection. The few bells and whistles consisted of three log benches by a firepit and a picnic table by each site. Simplicity. Quiet. Efficient for a short stay. Rain on the roof top by night. Coffee by the creek by morning. Topped off with a great group picnic in the afternoon after our big adventure.  With little planning the rustic camp spot ended up being the perfect destination and photo backdrop.

In between the rest and picnicking was was the adventure that brought me to Bryson City. White water rafting with 12 friends on the Nantahala River. Two boats. Two guides. Safety training. Life jackets. Paddles. Good to head to the drop point. Wait! We are one guide short. Not even sure how this happens. Somehow I was volunteered to guide a raft down a river I’ve never been on. What on Earth? I drew the short straw for this one.

I didn’t hesitate. Maybe I didn’t think about how much responsibility it came with. Maybe I didn’t trust others with my life. I don’t even know why the company allowed the customer to guide the boat. Nonetheless it happened. I had a great group of brave souls to do it with. We all paddled. We all stayed in the boat. We had an amazing time: memories to last a lifetime. Adrenaline to last for days. Pictures to prove I was a captain for a couple of hours!

Get yourself a group of adventurous pals and do things. Take risks. Be brave. Step out of your comfort zone. You will never grow or know what you are capable of if you don’t.

We conquered these rapids on July 16, 2023. We had a young one on the boat at age 17. A vintage captain at age 51. A non-swimmer. Five first-time rafters. A nurse, just in case. A smorgasbord of a crew but a damn good one at that. Living life to the fullest. One adventure at a time.

Travel buddies may change but fun is always on the menu. Hope you enjoyed a glimpse of our adventure through this post. This also makes the 8th state I’ve camped in with my RV. Slowly filling up my state map. Alabama and Arkansas are on the radar for future trips. Going for the left A states that are nearby.

adventure

Water Play

2chicksandapen

A random adventure in South Carolina on a sunny Sunday afternoon was set in motion. No long term planning. Just a quick 1 day getaway. The weather was perfect. The timing seemed to just fit into the schedule. The spontaneity of the day was one of the highlights of the excursion. Music cranking while having an open air concert was also so much fun both in and out of the water.

Zoom zoom. The girls took off for the day on the water. Riding topless….in a convertible for those thinking otherwise. Wind in face. Sun glistening on their skin. Sunglasses required. Hair swaying back and forth as they make the trek from one state to another. One could say the ride itself could have been the day’s climax yet it was merely a starting point.

Ultimately these Chicks had other plans. The adventure consisted of trying out hydro bikes for that day’s fitness and fun. A new-to-us thrill of sorts. Upon arrival one bike had technical issues creating the option of one kayak and one hydro bike for the afternoon. Off to the water the girls went. A day of water play with no have to’s. Just what the doctor ordered. Nothing too strenuous.

The cove was simply peaceful on this a day. A short paddle or pedal to a sandy beach area to explore or dip in the water to cool off. A band was playing at the nearby marina adding a mini concert to the water play day as an added bonus. Just some good old fun and relaxation on a Sunday. A perfect time to reset for the work week ahead.

There was plenty of time to just float. Soak up not only the sun but the cloud and sky views for miles. the gentle waves. The sun reflecting off the water. Observing the local boats trying to catch a fish or two. It brings a different kind of peace to one’s mind and soul. 

Days like these are encouraged for those who spend time in a busy fast-paced life or a life that has challenging days. A slower time of any day breeds success or productivity in other areas once a fresh outlook is achieved.

Such a simple idea. Grab a friend. Spend a day outside. Smell fresh cut lawns. Plant a garden. Take a walk. Feel the sun on your skin. Move freely. Inner peace comes from within. Sometimes you need to reset your mind, your environment, your outlook or even your surroundings to see the beauty of your life. The life you live each day to the fullest.

Pause. Reflect. Enjoy. Repeat. 

I opted outside.

I played in the water:

I’d do it again.

awareness

Death Again

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Twice in a week.

Two dads in 7 months.

2 kids in 9 months.

One community.

So much death. Such a far reach for those impacted. Lives altered. In the blink of an eye.

Plan ahead is something I have always done to the best of my ability, but I want to share that message. Make sure your will is up to date. If you have a business make sure you have a succession plan. Get life insurance. Death isn’t cheap. Know what your loved ones want should they pass. It might be hard to start the conversation about death but it’s important to know one’s wishes.

Cremation vs burial?

How to wrap up affairs?

Loss.

Grief.

Loneliness.

It all looks different for everyone.

I’ve thought a lot about living lately. Living the best life each day. Not being burdened with issues that really don’t matter to me. Finding time to do things that are important to me. Less have to’s and more want to’s. Just being present. Avoiding the negativity others can cast upon you.

We can never predict when death will hit us. We won’t know if it will be slow and predictive or fast and without notice. For me I want to go quick. I would prefer not to suffer. I also don’t want to be a burden for others to care for. That’s just me.

I also want to be remembered. I want those I have known to come to my celebration of life: I want my memories to live on in my photos and stories. If I passed today, I think I would have accomplished these things. 

How would you be remembered if you passed today?

Would you have friends or colleagues attend your services?

Do you want to leave behind a legacy or just become a moment that passes?

As morbid as these lyrics sound, they are true. They come from a country music song I heard recently with my mom. When you lose somebody close. A spouse. A friend. A child. You will grieve. You will will have moments of sadness and loneliness. But once it’s chiseled in stone it’s permanent. Make the best of today before your name is chiseled in stone.

I hope that after this post I can go a period of time without experiencing death again. Although it is my wish it may not be my reality. Only time will tell. For now I cherish today.