Tag: aging

adventure, celebrations

2-23-23

2chicksandapen

Earlier I wrote about 2-2-23. A sequence of twos. Today I see a 2 and the set of 23s. Another oddity of numbers but significant numbers to me. So yet again I will write a numbers post or maybe it’s a date post or maybe it’s just a post about me in some way.

51 years ago I was born. Thus I will celebrate me today. All day. As if I hadn’t already celebrated myself all month. Nonetheless today is about me. I guess I’ll take you old school and write about just me.

Favorite food: pizza, most days

Favorite tv show: 1923 at the moment

Bucket list trip: Montana

Favorite season: spring 

Best adventure: Sand Dunes Oregon coast 

Best trip as a kid; Europe 

Current book: Spare 

Last movie at theatre: Avatar

Fun fact: I am fanatical about shoes

I already had my cake this week before my actual big day. A few nibbles each day. Carvel ice cream cake was the annual cake of choice. Nice steak dinner out for two. A fam bam dinner with the kiddos at a local hibachi place. A cool pen gift set complete with a journal to write all my secrets in. Some flashy workout tanks. A sweatshirt made by a friend. Some scents from the youngest. All around lots of cool treats and maybe a little neon signage too. Who doesn’t like a little neon in their life. 

I share my special day with three of my neighbors from a few years back which is odd but a cool footnote. I share the date with a friend’s son and this this I found out I share it with a distant acquaintance. Pisces girls and boys united by the special date. Different years. Different cities. Different stories. Still a common denominator.

And of course there was a birthday bash. A girls day at the spa. I was all in for that. Then a swanky pizza joint. Added a few more pals to mix and hit the graffiti paint place for a little art session. And if that wasn’t enough we were going to get a flight of tasty slushy drinks. The over 21 kind, but we were a little tired and called for a rain check on the last part. Don’t worry we will get to it soon.

I ate good.

I got spoiled.

I got my free Starbucks.

I had lobsta for lunch.

I read many amazing texts.

I enjoyed my all the Insta birthday stories.

I read a few cards.

I appreciated the phone calls.

I may or may not be a little wiser.

I had fun with many special people.

I even volunteered on my birthday. 

All the communication makes my cup overflow with positivity. I proudly sported my aging slogan on my chest this year. See photo proof below. That may or may not have let strangers know I was celebrating me today.

The month is not all over yet but I am now 51. In my old age I must move on to conquer other things and say goodbye to the year of 50. It’s been fun. It’s been challenging. It’s been memorable. My 2nd half of life has officially begun.

Where will I go?

What will I do?

Who will be along for the ride?

Stay tuned….

challenges, fitness and nutrition

Grow Bolder, Not Older

2chicksandapen

The 100th Day of School.

Full of fun and games, snacks and celebrations, all kinds of counting everywhere you turn.

And then the invitation to look like the theme: “Dress like you’re 100 years old.”

I’m trying to use what I already have…shop my closet if you will. So I grabbed a white bobbed wig from a recent adventure, then went to choose my clothes, which led to all kinds of imagining. If I live to 100, what would I want my life to be like? I had some of my mom’s old frocks from the 70’s. A muu-muu? A hospital gown?

As I often try to do, I responded to the call in an unexpected way. I knew from previous years that my colleagues would show up with walkers, medicine bottles, and curlers in their hair. But with my sassy white bob I thought to myself, what do I *want* 100 to be like? What am I working for right now?

If I had my way, I’d be living on a beach in a relatively modest home because I’d also be spending a lot of time in active travel. Globe trotting, enjoying life. Savoring sunsets. Life would be an actual parade, not just a parade of doctor’s appointments. And so I donned a colorful kimono over my leggings and sandals.

When I got to school, my hunches were spot on. As I floated around the hallway, I saw lots of gray hair spray, canes and crutches, frumpy fashion. Is this really what we have kids looking forward to? It’s no wonder being older has a stigma. If life is just a collection of pains and prescriptions, moving slow with things falling apart, who would be excited to get there? And how can we let them know that the decisions they make today can help them create the future they want to have, physically, mentally, emotionally and for their all-around health?

Many kids and even co-workers giggled when they saw my take on the theme. Some asked me about it…I just said I plan to be active, vibrant, and living my best life when I hit triple digits. I may not be able to control everything about aging, but I can control my attitude about it. I can control my eating habits and exercise. I can keep my mind nimble and my stress as low as I can. With that and some luck, hopefully I will avoid the walker and embrace the wanderlust.

hustle, mental health

Balls Dropping

2chicksandapen

The first mistake was a little puzzling. An email I missed. I read it, then forgot about it. The day the task needed completion, my colleague reached out to me to see when she could pick up her request.

A shock went through my body. Suddenly a very full day had a complicated work task dropped in the middle of it. I pushed through and completed it satisfactorily, but maybe not as thoroughly as I would have otherwise.

A couple of days later, my boss emails me to ask if I had made the classroom signs she requested.

The same shock and disbelief followed. Really? I totally forgot a work task again, and this time for my boss?

I won’t bore you with the details…suffice it to say I dropped ball after ball after ball this month. There were loads of things I honestly just forgot. To the point where I was concerned about myself. This is pretty uncharacteristic of me…sure, I may procrastinate at times, but to completely forget again and again?

This leads to the question…what caused this? Could it be menopause? General aging? Stress? Lack of sleep? Loss of focus due to the wearing on of the pandemic? Or maybe it is the family crisis that hit a couple of months ago. Who knows.

It really doesn’t matter. I don’t like the feeling of being incompetent. I don’t like tasks biting me in the butt out of nowhere. So much of my job is supporting others, and I feel physically ill when I let others down.

It’s just a mystery. I’m trying to just observe it, notice it, and not beat myself up over it. Easier said than done, but I am trying.

I’m back to making more lists. Slowing down when I can to read emails and take notes in meetings more carefully. Hopefully this was just a brief episode in life that blows over, and I’ll be back to my usual remembering self from now on. I’m just documenting here to share life’s ups and downs, hoping I’ll look back on this as just another bump in my road.

fitness and nutrition, health

Road to 5-0 and beyond

2chicksandapen

The road to fifty isn’t always so nifty. When you approach the big 5-0, many shifts take place. Your body. Your mind. Sometimes your zip code. Maybe even your friend circle.

Maybe it’s mood swings that hit today. Maybe it’s body changes next week. Maybe it’s aches and pains ongoing. Maybe it’s stress in life. Maybe it’s nothing. Maybe it’s all of the above. Maybe it hits all at once.

Maybe you become forgetful. Maybe you just seem over emotional on days. Maybe you are bloated. Maybe you move slower. Just maybe you are getting old. Gender doesn’t matter when it comes to aging.

There really isn’t a guide book for a mid life crisis. There isn’t an age point either. There isn’t a how to manual for menopause or grumpy man syndrome. There isn’t a road map to feeling old. For me I just want to age gracefully and keep up with what I still want to do each day.

It seems many in their fifties are starting to see signs of aging. Maybe the fast food is catching up with one pal while melanoma is rearing its ugly head with another. This is the time to do the breast checks. The annual physicals. The colonoscopy. The dirty list nobody really wants to pay attention to.

The next ten years will be the shoulder surgeries. The knee replacements. The second laundry list nobody wants to contend with. Getting old. Make sure you are treating your body like the temple it is. You only have one. Pay attention to any warning signs that rear their ugly heads.

I take each day as it comes. I try to live life to the fullest. I try to seek out adventures. I like to stimulate my mind. I like to tire myself out with fitness at some point in the day so I can sleep well at night.

I try to tune out negative people in my life. I have no room to waste mental energy on negatives. It will never help me make it through my road to 50-60-70 and beyond. 

challenges

A New Wall

2chicksandapen

I hit a new wall today. A mentally exhausting wall. One I didn’t initially bounce off and spring ahead like normal.

This wall was different. It started out as me being tired. Then it shifted to me being irritable. Then technology flipped a few switches that set me off kilter.

Moving on to mid-day a teenager rattled my cage. Then the rain hit. All the while work was super busy. It’s the end of the month. The end of the fiscal year. Emergencies by phone and mail.

I wanted to dish out numbers like they do at the meat counter but that’s not reality. It all needs to get done. You need to be four places at one time. It doesn’t matter if it’s pouring rain let alone if you are tired. 

When you are in the hot seat. The driver’s seat. The most relied upon seat, nothing matters. You are just expected to balance it all. But what happens when you hit the wall and don’t bounce back?

For some it may take one into a dark place in mind and body. Luckily for me I have some friends who can crack me up during the day with a funny text to lighten the load. I have some go-to gals who can be a listening ear when I want to punch everyone.

And then I can always change my scenery. For me, today I took a car ride. Got a coffee. Drank it away from people. Talked to a friend by phone. Took some deep breaths. Ordered dinner to-go. Planned an early bedtime to mentally let my brain rest.

I took to writing. This blog of course. Writing is a therapeutic outlet for me for many reasons but sharing stories of walls is important for people to read. It’s life. It’s real. It’s not filtered. There are no amazing pictures.

My wall is the beginning of what may be a long road of walls. It’s midlife womanly adjustments. The yucky m word. The one you want to be over so your cycle is history but the one you dread because of its uncertainty.

Let me just type the damn word. Menopause. Menopausal. Resident psycho to some. Bitch to others. I’m sure I’m missing a few descriptions but owning the word and its side effects is step one. One of God only knows how many steps.

Pray for me. Think of me. Lift me up in spirits if you see me against the wall. Plastered to the wall. Mentioning the wall. Or anything resembled the wall symptoms. Baggy eyes. Disheveled look. Short fuse.

The worst thing you can do is ignore my hot mess as that will make me want to isolate you. As a giver and doer I help many. Unfortunately many won’t see that need for help. That struggle at that damn wall. 

Is there a magic tea for menopause? And why the hell is the word “men” embedded in the word itself. That is just crazy because they are clueless when it comes to dealing with a menopausal woman. Just sayin’.

mEn-oh-PAuse: your lady friend is about to go batshit crazy. Clear the fuck out now. Don’t pause. Run. Hide. It’s safer that way.
If the DICtionary doesn’t say that it really should. Fun fact!