Tag: fear

fitness and nutrition

Max Mentality, Part 2

2chicksandapen

I’ve written before about my inability (or unwillingness) to hit my max effort. I instinctively shy away from redlining. Sending it. Whatever you want to call it.

My comfort zone is running along between 60-80 percent most days. It’s my sweet spot. My happy place. I don’t feel out of control there. I’m putting in work but I can keep going. And frankly, I can stay at that place (and that pace) for a long time. Long endurance work is my strength over short sprints at high intensity. I’m much more turtle than rabbit.

I listened to our box’s CrossFit podcast the other day and they were talking about the upcoming CrossFit Open. Our coaches were trying to describe it, to prepare people who haven’t been a part of it before. The Open is CrossFit’s yearly(-ish) community testing event. You can see how you stack up against many others in the sport, and if you’ve been a part of the community for a while, you can see how you are progressing against yourself, year-over-year. For that reason, there’s a special competitive spirit in the Open. You have a judge and more eyes on you than usual. People push themselves to their max. After such punishing workouts, you often see CrossFitters rolling on the floor, struggling to breathe, even throwing up on occasion. If you haven’t witnessed it before, it can be surprising. But to many of us, it’s just another Open workout at the box. Just with extra sweat and a DJ.

The coaches took a minute to talk about this and made a point to say, if you haven’t gone to that max space, that rolling-on-the-floor-unable-to-breathe-uh-oh-I’m-gonna-puke place, you should try it. I’m thinking to myself, why does that feel so vulnerable? Like going there would take a special brand of courage I’m not sure I have?

I have been wrestling with what to expect of myself this year. I’ll write about that in depth in another post. But I have noticed that our new programming is giving me opportunities to dip my toe into maxing out. I haven’t “redlined” or “sent it” or thrown up in a conditioning workout. But in small ways I have hit failure. I’ve attempted some lifts lately that I’ve failed on. (Usually I don’t venture close to this point!) One I attempted again after I failed it and made. Another I didn’t. I recorded these weights in my notes, something I haven’t done in a long time. Perhaps that’s a sign that I am ready to get more systematic about keeping track of my progress.

Maybe the most glaring instance happened the other day, when we were working on jumping in skill progressions. We usually do a few broad jumps in warm ups and they are something I feel weaker at compared to many. On this day, we did a series of broad jumps for max distance, then rotated to other movements, then back to broad jumps. We did this several times. Each time I got back to the jumps, I felt better about them. In warmups they don’t feel natural, but working on them a few times did. On my third series of jumps, I really tried to push myself to jump longer. And of course, on the last jump, I landed on my heels then fell back into a roly poly ball on the floor. Nothing like going tail over tea kettle with 20 sets of onlooking eyes. Was I embarrassed? A little. But I also laughed. I smiled as I got up. I realized that I had actually pushed myself beyond my comfort level. So I couldn’t hold the landing? Ok. I know what to work on. A friend told me to engage my core, which I did the next round and didn’t fall. I’ll get better at it, failing forward. Inch by inch. Progress.

A little snapshot of going bigger. It might feel foolish. I might fail. People might see. All part of the doing and growing that this year holds for me. What will I fail at next?

celebrations, challenges

Change

2chicksandapen

Change is in the air for this girl. Change is in the air most days for this girl. Life is full of twists, turns, uphill battles, downward spirals and so much more.

To me, change is part of the beauty of life. The variety life affords us all. The endless possibilities. The chance to explore in different ways. Discovery of what’s new. Embracing what’s ahead. Never sitting in the past saying would have, could have, should have.

Change is the only constant today yet many fear change. I embrace change. Heck I even embrace the chance of change. I savor the opportunity to embrace whatever the change is. I look forward to the learning opportunities that come with any change. I feel inspired by change in many ways. I evolve through change.

Many may not understand a big change. Even a small change can raise an eyebrow for some. It’s okay. Change is in the air. Change is in air most days for all of us. What’s your perspective on change?

Just another random thought post to spark your mind.

perspective

Be Still

2chicksandapen

There I was packed in the plane like a sardine in a can. 24 rows deep. 4 across each aisle. Racked and stacked you’d say. The plane is full.

No 6 feet distanced. Lots of people. Recycled air. Masks up. Here we go. Cheers to a great flight. Up up and away we go.

As I sit still I look over my shoulder and see the peaceful sky. There we are floating in the clouds with the border of the baby blue sky. I enjoyed the peacefulness of being still. The calm. The beauty. The colors.

This is such a variance from my crazy hectic days in the office. Escapes like these with picturesque scenery help me appreciate life and all the experiences one can have as long as their eyes are open.

In that moment it took away the tears of the girl by my side feeling anxious in the sky. The mask. The extra people. The sardine-like atmosphere. Watering eyes over the mask showed the pain. Shaking of the leg showed discomfort. Grasping jewelry around her neck for comfort. How were we so close yet I felt calm and she felt fear?

If I could take it away the pain and fear I would. As we move along the calmness peeks through her fear. The discomfort was temporary thank goodness. A movie is on. A snack in hand. A little water to wash away the woes.

The other neighbor is a technology guru. Clicking on the wifi. Surfing movies. Wait, I need to sneeze. Oh my not on a plane. Yup not once, twice. We giggle in the row a little. Good thing my mask was up! My neighbor didn’t flinch on her technology. Cropping and editing photos. Music in the ears. Not even phased. I’m even learning how to make cartoon images on an iPad from the neighboring seat. It’s so fun to see how others pass time.

Meanwhile, I just keep floating in the cloud. Glancing into the horizon. Thinking about tomorrow. Visualizing the fun and adventures ahead on my little trip. Time to wrap this post up.

That was a long 15 minutes if I do say so myself. This story is real. You may be the most fearless person and boom anxiety can hit. Without warning. Surround yourself with people who know you and can see your struggles so that you can be comforted when your world is closing in on you.

For now I will be still and enjoy my trip above the clouds. My special place where I am just floating in thought as I write some blogs on this very day.

Sending you a smile and wink from the sky above. Somewhere over Jackson, Mississippi. I giggled a little as I wrote that state. M-i-squiggly lines-I-squiggly lines-i-pp-i as I recall from my childhood school days.

dare to be different

Change

2chicksandapen

Change impacts people in many different ways. Many don’t like change. Some fear change. Others crave change. Where do you fall in the mix?

For me, I crave change. I like variables. I dislike the hamster wheel feeling. Running in circles with no end in sight. I enjoy challenges that come with change. The unknown. What’s around the corner. How will I react?

Amidst a change in ownership at my gym, I learned my daughter doesn’t like change. What an irony since we have been living in constant change almost the entire year thanks to the pandemic. She said she likes things just the way they are. She doesn’t like to change the paint on the walls. She doesn’t like to move things from one side to another. To test this theory, I asked her to change bedrooms with me. She thought about it. She seriously contemplated. Can I have your bathroom too? Yes. She debated. The final answer is no that’s too much change! I will be missing this. I would need to do this different. The list went on. It was all the negatives and no positives.

I learned a lot during this process about her and how I can help her adapt to the change she faces in school due to the pandemic and other unexpected scenarios. I also learned that I again love change and thrive at even thought of changing rooms. The excitement was in the air. Would I like the new environment? How would I change the layout. What fuels me, panics her. 

Are you the type to live in the same house for 50 years because you don’t like change? Is it the inconvenience of change or the stress of change? Since some may fear change is that the same as not liking change? I don’t think so. Some truly fear change and get anxiety over change. While others just don’t like change as it’s uncomfortable or just an inconvenience. An annoying interference in your normal life.

Are you the type to keep the same job through retirement because making new friends and adapting to new environments is too uncomfortable?

How many kids struggle with change if their parents move because of the unknown?

The sooner you test your tolerance to change the better. Knowing where you stand is important. Knowing how to adapt or help others around you see the positives of change. Especially when change can strike without notice forcing you to learn a new skill or may mean new friends. Changing environments or scenery may be just what the doctor ordered for your life.  

Can you adapt or pivot if you got laid off from work or would you fall into a dark space? This is a change many can’t predict. Happiness is a choice. Choose happy. Where you are today is sort of tomorrow’s history lesson. You can visit the history at any time but change is in front for you. A forward progression. You chart your path ahead when you embrace change. You already know what history gave you, why not see what change brings to your future?

Thought post #1121. Hope you are enjoying your new year.

challenges

I’m Not Afraid

2chicksandapen

I’m not afraid of burpees anymore.

I am no longer dreading 72 burpees in workout because I’ll be the slowest to complete them.
I am no longer completely wiped out by burpees. 10-15-20 easy peasy.

It might have taken me over 1,200 burpees in a short period of time to realize this. I learned practice makes perfect or it definitely builds confidence in your weak or feared movements.

In the past, I would do pushups instead of burpees in a workout. It wasn’t that I couldn’t do them. I didn’t want to do them. I would just prefer not to do burpees. I took the easy way out time and time again.

Then one day I said yes to a burpee challenge online. Little did I know that burpee challenge would teach me to endure in many ways. Little did I know it would help me stabilize my breathing while doing burpees with other movements. Little did I know my fear wasn’t worth fearing anymore.

I slowed down enough to take it all in. To practice vs. rush through. I am still not fast at burpees and never will be thanks to my hip mobility but I can get them done in much larger sets. I am not that graceful when I do burpees either. They are what I call sloppy burpees.

Nonetheless I can drop and do 5-10-15-20 or more at my pace without hesitation. I may not love to do them but I can and I will because they have provided many benefits in a short time.

My bench press one rep max has improved. All those extra burpees have caused me to push my body weight up from the ground repeatedly, increasing my pushing strength without me noticing. On that same line, my push ups have improved drastically. My overall form. My endurance. My strength. My ability to do unbroken sets with strong form in my core.

When we mention core muscle, I recently started doing more planks. Not a movement I’ve feared but one I really don’t like to do: well guess what I noticed my time for holding the plank and the the firmness of the plank itself has also improved. Crazy to think how much consistency plays a role in success.

Consistent and persistent are two words that are forever defined in my life in many ways. Sometimes you need to slow down in one area of life to see how you can adapt consistency and/or persistence in other areas.

Trust the process of life. Absorb the learning experiences around you. Test your limits often. Growth comes when you are stretched, fatigued and out of your norm.

Change your surroundings. Try something new. Challenge yourself to do hard things you fear. Growth is a mindset. Sometimes it takes practice. Consistent practice yields results.