perspective

Have You Ever Been Ghosted?

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Interesting question if you don’t know the meaning!

Different age groups might define ghosting differently but the term came up in discussions more than once this past week, leading me to write a ghosting blog post.

To get started, an acquaintance asked for some advice about getting ghosted as it pertains to applying for a job. As in, this day and age requires one to apply online for most companies. What happens when you have an interview and think all is going well but then the call back never comes? You’ve in essence been ghosted. The business could have shifted focus or decided to hire from within but you feel ghosted. Rejected. Unwanted. It happens and was the case in this recent conversation.

In this scenario of ghosting, one has to look at the history. Does this ghosting happen after every interview? If so, one has to dive in deeper to see what may be going wrong to avoid this type of ghosting in the future. Is this an isolated situation? Then maybe ghosting was in your mind, but without knowing the facts from the hiring professional’s standpoint, ghosting can’t be confirmed.

In another example, a young adult felt the ghostly chill of no call back when submitting job applications online. Am I not good enough? Why can’t I have a chance? This might be a far-fetched example of ghosting due to no initial contact from the perspective employer, however the feeling of being ghosted in any way can be hurtful and hinder the job hunting process for many. I would guess technology is good for some but challenging for others when one looks at this type of ghosting or emptiness.

How about being ghosted in a casual relationship? That’s a big pill to swallow but it happens more often then you think. No closure. No explanation. One is just cut off entirely. This scenario of ghosting can wreak havoc on one’s emotional state and ultimately impact future relationships, especially in the trust area.

How about the friend circle? Have you ever been ghosted without explanation from a good friend? Have you ever ghosted somebody in your friend circle?

It happens. It happens more than you think. All along as a kid I learned about Casper the friendly ghost. Fast forward to this day and age and ghosting is a thing of the times. Ghost or be ghosted!

I see it more often then I care to think about. Some get ghosted for good reason. Others get ghosted out of fear. Some people ghost people over and over once that individual has limited value to ghoster.

Could you feel ghosted if you are not on the hot invite list for an upcoming event? Sure. But one thing to consider in this scenario is most invite lists are not unlimited. It’s like a wedding. There is a cutoff point. To me this isn’t ghosting but do some think of this scenario as being ghosted?

Do you ever think you inadvertently cause yourself to be ghosted? Maybe you are the Negative Nelly of the bunch. The one who always complains. The one that makes an excuse for this and that. Could you ghost yourself through your own actions? I think the answer is yes.

Having a friend circle has some ebbs and flows. Some friends are around for the short ride. Some are along for the long haul. And then there are those that seem like speed bumps along the way.

Ghosting is interesting to think about. It’s a people thing. A relationship thing. It’s also the kind of thing that can make some people fall off the deep end emotionally. One thing I can say about ghosting is it can be necessary. If you are in a toxic situation/relationship ghosting a person may be the best option. A clean break.

I dare you to think about ghosting. How it impacts you. How ghosting actions can impact others.

I doubt I will write about ghosting again but this was interesting enough to toss this post out here to the readers to ponder thoughts.

fitness and nutrition

Train, Train, Train

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It all started in July, when I ran my best 10k time at the Peachtree Road Race on 7/4/19. I was bitten by the running bug…sort of?!?!?!

How can I get better? What’s my next goal? I really don’t enjoy running and I really don’t have a runner’s physique. Oh well, we will put these thick thighs to the test in a couple of months.

I got an invite to do a 1/2 marathon. Boom. I signed up. I asked a few friends to join in. Now it’s time to train, or pretend to be trained, by the starting gunshot.

I progressed with weekly walk/jogs on Sundays with whomever I could get to train with me and I added in some extra meters on the air runner at my box when I had time.

3 mile run/walk on a stretch of road with gym buddies. 6 mile walk with the girls. 5 mile pacer in the park. Sundays at 7am are now my training runs. So many miles. Sprints were tossed in as well as some time on the air runner. Hoping to get better form and a better pace. Not to mention looking for longer stretches of mileage without taking a break.

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Two new pairs of shoes. Nike Air Pegasus 35’s which I ran the Peachtree in and Nike Zoom Romero with a little more cushion. I was told to alternate them in my training so I could decide which one I liked the most and then the one pair wouldn’t be worn out. Wonder which ones will make the cut for race day?!?!

So far I’m voting for the Air Pegasus but time will tell.

I like shoes and Nike shoes might be an addiction so I won’t complain about buying another pair. Maybe the Pegasus 36’s. We shall see.

I almost forgot, I got a sweet note from one of my training partners this week. It was a great way to celebrate the the training journey with a friend. See the photo for a glimpse of my note.

I’ll try to post each month on my training progress. Stay tuned.

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fitness and nutrition

New Fitness Tricks from Chick 2

Sometimes progress is hardly noticeable.  Other times we make giant leaps forward.

Whether it’s a time of strides or just moving along, I keep showing up as often as I can at the gym (which means most days).

I know I can get lazy.  I forget to try things I haven’t been able to do in the past. This is one reason it is so important to have coaches and workout friends who know you and encourage you along. This also makes it harder to be complacent, to just coast. It reminds me to keep goals fresh and in sight.

With that in mind, here are some new tricks I’ve learned lately: (see our instagram for additional video!)

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Toes-to-bar

This one was a complete surprise.  Chick 1 was brushing up on the skill and told me to give it a try.  I hadn’t tried since probably February or March, and never really got too much coaching.  But, I gave it a go.  First try was bad.  Second try was much closer to the bar…and then, on the third attempt, I did it!

Only a few days later I did 27 toes-to-bar in a workout, one at a time.  It’s exciting when something clicks.  New tricks are fun!  But, I ripped my hands horribly so now I’ve invested in grips to protect them.  (This feels like a sign of a real CrossFitter!)

Burpees over the Bar

I’ve written about jumps before.  I’m still doing 12-inch box jumps.  I jump over dumbbells.  But a couple of weeks ago I finally did burpees over the bar, jumping over a barbell with plates loaded.  It’s not a fluid motion, but I got it done!

 

Wall Balls

I’ve struggled with these most of my CrossFit life.  They exhaust me and my form deteriorates quickly, which leads to back strain if I am not mindful.  But, after a lot of work, I’ve finally started moving from the 10-pound to the 14-pound ball.  The sets I have to break them into are usually very small, but I am coming along.  (I still dread them in ways that I *don’t* dread burpees.  This is a mental challenge I need to work through. Practice saying: Wall balls!  YAY! I LOVE WALL BALLS!)

Handstand

I did do some special training videos working toward handstand strength and technique from Performance Plus Programming through Barbell Physio.  With help, I got an assisted handstand and need to keep pushing forward on these.  I can’t kick up yet, but I will sometime soon!

And a couple of other gym-related breakthroughs:

Chick 1 and I made it through a partner WOD without incident.  She will tell you that I yell at her during partner workouts (true!) and that does not work out for the overall good.  But, on a recent Saturday we ended up partnered and managed to make it through it.  Big stuff!

Finally, despite my spongy midsection and crepey drapey loose extra skin, I removed my soaked tank top at the end of the Peachtree Road Race in front of the 60,000 other runners and volunteers gathered in Piedmont Park.  I don’t think I’ll ever have firm, taut skin so although I am proud of my progress, showing my midsection is still cringe-inducing.  But, I decided to just do it since I was crazy hot and two of my running partners were already down to sports bras and shorts.  I’m pleased to report that everyone lived through this experience and no one has lasting vision damage (that I am aware of).  A bit of body confidence is a great feeling.

As much as I celebrate these, I also have friends and coaches pushing me to move forward.  Add more weight to the bar.  Start putting some moves together.  It’s easier to get used to my scales and just keep practicing the new stuff, but my coaches and friends at CrossFit Faded Glory are always pushing me to be better.  And even though I don’t always remember to try new tricks to see what I am improving at, every day I show up and do the work I am getting better.

What are your new fitness accomplishments?  Any new goals you’ve set?  Let us know in the comments!

 

fitness and nutrition

It’s a 1/2 but it’s a start

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Today I registered for my first 1/2 marathon. I might be crazy but in about 4 months I will walk, jog, or crawl over that finish line.

I will blog about my training along the way and of course the emotions that will go along with the whole process as well.

I have 5k’s, 10k’s and one 15k in my past, but never a half marathon. My running spans over 20 years but I’ve never been a runner, if that makes sense. I am more of a 50-yard-dash kind of girl. Quick and easy and over before you know it. I also never really ran any of those races start to finish…they all had a mix of breaks built in.

Why a 1/2 marathon? I got a push from my oldest son to sign up and guess what? I took the bait. Now it’s time to see if I can get some friends in the mix.

My most recent 10k time was 1 hour 16 minutes in the July heat. I am aiming for 2 hours 30 minutes for the half marathon. Can I do it? Let me know what you think my finishing time will be. An online bet of sorts. Send us a message with your best guess!

Wish me luck! And don’t forget to send me tips if you are an avid runner.

adventure

Summer Adventures, Part 2

Sarasota, Florida was the destination and adventuring was the name of the game.

Girls trip time. 5 girls in tow. 3 teens and two mommas ready to see what they can cram into a few days at the beach destination.

Roof top swimming upon arrival. What a blast to see the sun set and enjoy the atmosphere after some time in the car. Some quick photos for the girls by the moonlight. Early rise to travel the town by bike the next day. The bike seat was nothing short of uncomfortable but it was a beach bike and it was on our must do list. We rode to the bay and explored away. Uncomfortable? Maybe, but adventure nonetheless.

We unexpectedly found a bike decorated at the bayfront near a tiki bar. We were not sure if it was a symbol of death by the water as it was decorated in white and was somewhat angelic. Boy, were we wrong! It was a symbol of peace and and we discovered this after asking about the history of the bike at the hotel. And then our unexpected adventure began…

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How many of the randomly decorated bikes could we find in the next few days? The next one was the mustard yellow one on the corner and then the old school ten speed adorned with flowers in the park. How many more will we find?

 

 

We stumbled on a kids bike decked out in print but somebody actually wrote junk not art on this one…check out the seat in the pic. Each bike is chained to a post of some sort and they are randomly scattered across the city. Next up was pink cheetah print. This one might have been one of my favs but that’s because we found this while driving and had to make a u-turn to snag a photo.

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We were on a scavenger hunt of sorts. We found a baby blue bike on the shore just over the bridge after a day on the beach. We made this a photo opportunity for our crew at sunset. We had to bang another u-turn again to catch the butterfly bike and then we caught the odd bird house bike at red light the last day we were in town.

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Unexpected adventures can yield to unexpected fun, just like the group of new friends we had dinner with one night. All types of backgrounds came together to chill and enjoy some conversation, cocktails and food. Unplanned, unexpected good times.

And the last bike we found was a scary octopus looking bike full of scales of some sort. What a whirlwind adventure that was unplanned. We got to learn a little about a local artist while on our trip and just got to share in some sleuthing with the girls as we were out and about each day.

Fun Friday was set aside for the beach and I was on a mission. I had to complete a handstand challenge. A handstand unassisted on the beach. In public. In my bathing suit. Feet kissing and no assistance. Can miracles happen? Well I had been practicing in the weeks approaching the trip and I was confident, but I never even attempted a handstand on a soft surface like the sand. Would I fall over? Would I chicken out? Would my friend capture the moment for proof?

Well, I am happy to report it’s a done deal. I sealed the deal and can officially take this off my bucket list. It might not be the prettiest handstand but it’s a freestyle handstand. No wall to catch me. No support. Just me putting in work. My day, my week and my month was complete in that very moment.

 

#goalgetter even on vacation. I mean, my pal David told me it’s not a beach trip until you do a handstand on the beach so hopefully I will continue to be fit enough as I age to continue this new beach tradition with whomever my travel mates are.

And then there was the cherry on top…. the young girls did handstands with me. A triple threat. A handstanding trio. That’s modeling, folks. Lead by example and people around you will want to level up and see what they can do, too. None of us were gymnasts. We just wanted to do beach handstands. And handstands we did.

Done and done. A few short days of rest and relaxation along with car ride giggles and snacks and of course late night chats and tropical frose drinks. Can’t complain about the adventures I had these past few days.

Wonder where my summa adventures will take me next time. I bet it will be stateside but you never know. Stay tuned!

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