Category: challenges

challenges

The Off Season

2chicksandapen

I am a teacher. I work from 8:00 am (or earlier) until 4:00 pm 190 days a year. During those hours I am a role model for little kids, a good colleague to my co-workers, and so on. What happens when I head out to stores to do errands after school?

As an elementary school teacher, I honestly still watch myself a lot of the time. I know I could look up at a store or restaurant and see little eyes looking up at me with an incredulous squeal: Mom, it’s Dr. Friese!! This has happened many times. For that reason, I can’t be cursing or loading up on margaritas when I am out and about, especially within a certain radius of my school.

This self-censorship of sorts extends to social media. I rarely post anything except for very “innocent” family or fitness updates. I stay out of photos where drinking or other grown-up activities are involved. I don’t post political content as much as I can avoid it. I have just a handful of select parents who can see what I post. Otherwise, I just refuse most of those requests, but I am still aware than many people could be looking. I sit through legal presentations each year that share examples of teachers losing their jobs because they post themselves doing legal, adult things online that a parent used against them. Better safe than sued or jobless is my mindset, I guess.

Some comments lately had me wondering if this is fair…as a teacher, I feel expected to hold up some sort of rated-G moral standard no matter where I am. The other roughly 14 hours a day and 175 days a year I am not at school, I often mentally steer away from situations where I can be captured doing “inappropriate” things. But is it fair to expect that I’ll just be basically angelic most of the time? Is being a teacher what I do or who I am? Who gets to decide?

Others close to me have been in this situation lately as well. A friend who is a nurse had a family member go through a medical crisis. She wasn’t completely happy with the way all the care was going and let the staff know it. She wasn’t ugly or unreasonable as much as firm and inquisitive. She was told she wasn’t being professional. But her role in this situation was that of a family member advocating for her parents’ health. Does she have to be a professional even in her personal life?

What other jobs seem to carry the expectation of acting a certain way 24/7/365… am I always a mother? A father? How about the captain of an athletic team? Do I have to behave “as a captain” even in the off season? What does that mean? If I am a forklift operator or a chef, I don’t have the weight of those jobs following me around all the time. How about an athletic coach to young people? A politician? A priest? A police officer? Why do some jobs or roles become identities and others allow you to clock out and just be who you are?

I don’t have solutions for this. It just troubles me how some jobs or roles are seen as 24/7 while others can be left behind when work is over. It’s not even the highest paid people who can just shed their professions at will. Some onlookers use these roles as a weapon when they don’t like what you are doing. (Heaven forbid you’re a teacher and post something with spelling errors!)

In the end, we are all just human, with likes and dislikes, flaws and foibles and lives outside of our work. Just a few early morning thoughts.

challenges

Just Disturbing

2chicksandapen

the threat. The hoax. The stir. The anxiety.  And everything in between. It was a late evening during a weekday and an email popped in from the school about a threat. One that was being worked by leadership. No worries just a heads up.
Then the text messages fly in. The social media posts hit. One of which is below. So many families opting out of school for safety. Some arriving late. What to do? Thankfully we had a preset dental appointment so we would miss the crazy of the morning.

9:30 we arrive at school with a tardy note in hand. It’s an unusual site. 6-7 cop cars and suvs representing various law enforcement. The sound above is actually a helicopter. What is going on? We pull into a spot to park in case we arrived during a lockdown.
We call a few families to see who is in school who is not. As we sit and adjust to the chaos we hear a boom! Maybe it was the echo of a dumpster slamming shut but it was all we needed to hear. After that boom, we immediately thought gunshot and left the parking without a moment to spare.
School could wait for the next day. My child was anxious. My child was unsure if school was safe. Heck I was like what just just happened. I wrote a note the next day to excuse her for being out of school. I was honest. I noted the above. It wasn’t excused. It wasn’t a valid reason. Are you kidding?
That day I’d say more than 70% of the school was out based on vehicles in the parking lot, parent confirmations and minimal traffic before and after school. Would you think the day should be excused? Would you have sent your child if you faced the scenario I did?
I have been scratching my head about this topic for weeks. I finally jotted down this post. There were many other crazy social media posts of concern. In the end I think what is this world coming to. I value each day and hope I never have to witness a mass shooting or catastrophe at a school. Although those are my wishes, I know deep down it’s possible especially in today’s climate.

challenges

Spinning My Wheels

2chicksandapen

In case you missed it, I am currently doing CrossFit style and strength training inside a regular gym instead of a box. It has its challenges, but one of the benefits is the option of other classes. Two of my gym buddies wanted to try spin classes early in the morning once or twice a week. I’ve been to the class twice. So far, it’s not my favorite. The coach seems fine. The people in the class are friendly and hardworking. My main issue is I compare it to my time biking outside. I love my road bike and going places. I love seeing the countryside go by. Going up and down actual hills. Seeing concrete progress as I rack up miles. I have the same feelings about a treadmill.

Still, I stick with it. I try to be patient, step back, and see what I can learn from this experience. I am not excited about standing up on my road bike. I tend to be a little bit lazy. I don’t like staying in big gears on the hills. Spin class makes me stay in the resistance, even upping it little by little.

The best part of spin is working out with friends. But honestly, for the most part, it is forgettable. I’m not remarkably sore the next day. Life goes on.

The only thing that has really stuck with me is a quote from the instructor: “if something isn’t working, change it.”

I’m guessing she meant on our bikes. Adjust the resistance. How I’m sitting.

Instead, it hit me over the head that this is just about life.

If something isn’t working, change it.

I can’t just walk out on the challenge. I can’t throw in the towel. I can’t change the way people act. I can’t change the past.

I can change my mindset. I can change my focus, my efforts, my energy. I can change my own actions.

What’s not working for me? For you? What can you change?

Don’t just sulk. Don’t just fret. Don’t just complain or gossip.

A simple message for today. How does it apply to your life?

If something isn’t working, change it.

challenges

Problem Solving

2chicksandapen

Scenario 1: it’s 7am. You have an hour drive. You need to be on time for practice. You realize your bag is in your friend’s car. No time to retrieve it. Nobody is awake. Your team is expecting you.

Do you panic?

Do you curl up in a ball and cry?

Do you go back to sleep and say fuck it?

Do you expect somebody to resolve the conflict for you?

None of these options actually solve the problem. They just allow for self pity and postponement of the let down.

Scenario 2: It’s Sunday. You have the house to yourself. Football is on the TV. You have a chores list to do. You need to meal prep for the week and do the laundry.  You might even need to pay some bills or do some paperwork.

Do you lounge around all day?

Do you try to manage a little fun with your chores?

Do you do anything or just let the TV suck you in?

Do you expect others to pick up your slack when they return? What would you expect if your responsibility was to do the above? In today’s world many expect others to do for them. An entitlement of sorts.

What these folks don’t see is their inability to self motivate. The personal drive or push it takes when things are hard. Only a strong mind is capable of such. The weaker crumble. 

Do you see yourself as capable of self motivation? How do you manage your mind?

Scenario 3: You have a softball game midweek (Wednesday).

You have a work product due Thursday.

You have a formal event Friday and a party Saturday. A full schedule except Monday and Tuesday. A busy week. No time for error.

Do you screw around Monday and Tuesday because nothing is on your schedule?

Do you not turn in work project because you stayed out too late at softball?

Do you lack the foresight to plan ahead?

Can you see consequences down the road for poor planning?

I can see all of the bad that can happen in the scenarios above. I can see the shit storm ahead of time. Some can’t. Some live for today and seriously lack foresight. Those same people tend to lack problem solving skills which create an irony. 

I can avoid issues because I have foresight. I can also problem solve in a pinch. This seems to be both a blessing and a curse as some days I wish I had no accountability.
Those who struggle with foresight normally end up in sticky situations. A need for problem solving is right in front of them. It’s almost like a mountain of poop. A mountain one just stares at. Should I start scooping the poop? Can I even get to the end of the pile? Should I even try? If one can’t see the finish line it’s hard to muster up the courage and strength to push forward. The finish line is the reward. The triumph.

I just spring into action to resolve conflicts in my path. Those who struggle in this area hide or hit pause. They can’t leap forward without guidance or if they do move it’s normally in the wrong direction.

Is this genetics?

Is it laziness?

Is it the person has been spoiled and lacks independence?

I see the lack of foresight on the home front, the work front, the consulting front. It’s never ending. I often think of the root issues but in the end I just move on because one can never change another but one can lead by example. 

I always hope my lead inspires others. Maybe not everyone but some. For today I end this thought post with one word: goals.

I’ve never met a person with a goal of being lazy.

I’ve never met a person who who had a goal to intentionally let others down.

For those reasons I say some may need help with problem solving. If you have the skill set to help others see the finish line, show them the way. They might need to feel that success to move past the fear of rejection, failure, disappointment or whatever is stopping one from seeing the bright light of the finish line.

Remember a goal for this post is to help others get to their finish line. Help another solve their insoluble problem.

challenges

The Shot Saga

2chicksandapen

I’m finally getting a chance to write about my Covid vaccines. This post is delayed on purpose as to not disclose the date of my shots due to so much controversy over the subject. I can say I’m fully vaccinated until my time is called for a booster. 

I don’t get the flu shot and I generally hate medicine In general. Nonetheless I received the Moderna vaccine 1 and 2 respectively. Both had different impacts for me. Shot 1 upon entry hurt with the feeling a burn and pinch. My arm was sore to lift for a day or two and I had a headache. Business as usual for the most part after 12-24 hours.

Shot 2 was bit different. It didn’t hurt at all going in but when I got to the car it hit me. Something was in my body and I felt it. Very hard to explain other than saying I was cloudy. I felt an aura of sorts.
I immediately got something to eat to make sure I had a full tummy. Surprisingly I didn’t eat much. I went home to catch up on some emails before I would think the shot would impact me cognitively. Oops I was wrong.

Boy was I wrong. I sent emails from the wrong account. I transposed numbers. Even when I realized my error I did it again. And again. At that point I turned of technology for a couple of days. Pumped the Tylenol for the headache and binged watched Netflix.

Completely out of character for me to sit idle for so long but it was just what my body and mind needed to clear the fog. I had a panic attack one morning over damn spiders. That wasn’t fun at all and it was a first as well. I left my dogs In the yard a moment too long and they had a dance party in a mud puddle. That was fun too.

All in all I did nothing for a few days but everything I did touched seemed to be one hot mess after another. Not sure what other people’s reactions have been because I just don’t ask people but I figured I’d journal my tidbits for others who may be curious.

Meanwhile I am still going to be cautious for a day or two because of the cognitive blur I seemed to have been in for the past 48 hours or so. Hopefully I’m out of the symptoms stage so I can move on with life.
I almost forgot. I had a fever peak in and out in the first 24 hours. Tylenol and herbal tea for the win to combat those symptoms. I had insomnia as well. That just made my days longer and harder.
Off to think about something other than my shot.