challenges

The Shot Saga

I’m finally getting a chance to write about my Covid vaccines. This post is delayed on purpose as to not disclose the date of my shots due to so much controversy over the subject. I can say I’m fully vaccinated until my time is called for a booster. 

I don’t get the flu shot and I generally hate medicine In general. Nonetheless I received the Moderna vaccine 1 and 2 respectively. Both had different impacts for me. Shot 1 upon entry hurt with the feeling a burn and pinch. My arm was sore to lift for a day or two and I had a headache. Business as usual for the most part after 12-24 hours.

Shot 2 was bit different. It didn’t hurt at all going in but when I got to the car it hit me. Something was in my body and I felt it. Very hard to explain other than saying I was cloudy. I felt an aura of sorts.
I immediately got something to eat to make sure I had a full tummy. Surprisingly I didn’t eat much. I went home to catch up on some emails before I would think the shot would impact me cognitively. Oops I was wrong.

Boy was I wrong. I sent emails from the wrong account. I transposed numbers. Even when I realized my error I did it again. And again. At that point I turned of technology for a couple of days. Pumped the Tylenol for the headache and binged watched Netflix.

Completely out of character for me to sit idle for so long but it was just what my body and mind needed to clear the fog. I had a panic attack one morning over damn spiders. That wasn’t fun at all and it was a first as well. I left my dogs In the yard a moment too long and they had a dance party in a mud puddle. That was fun too.

All in all I did nothing for a few days but everything I did touched seemed to be one hot mess after another. Not sure what other people’s reactions have been because I just don’t ask people but I figured I’d journal my tidbits for others who may be curious.

Meanwhile I am still going to be cautious for a day or two because of the cognitive blur I seemed to have been in for the past 48 hours or so. Hopefully I’m out of the symptoms stage so I can move on with life.
I almost forgot. I had a fever peak in and out in the first 24 hours. Tylenol and herbal tea for the win to combat those symptoms. I had insomnia as well. That just made my days longer and harder.
Off to think about something other than my shot.

challenges

The Stir At Night

At night many of us can be restless when we lay our head down on the pillow for a good night’s sleep. I am not alone in this area.

Generally speaking I sleep great. However there are times that worry or stress can give me a stir at night. A stir can take on different meanings at different times due to life variables.
The stir can be defined as a jolted awakening from a dream state in which what I was thinking about happened. Nothing actually happened but my mind was playing out the scenario for good or bad.

The stir could be what’s on the to do list. The deadlines that are hard and fast and non- forgiving. Will I make it? Have you ever crammed for a school or work deadline and deprived yourself of sleep?

The stir could be every 15 minutes or so for that alarm you don’t want to miss. The very important event or meeting or plane ride. This lack of sleep may even be the actual factor for you don’t wake up in time! Who’s been guilty of staying up all night to avoid this? Who’s actually fallen back asleep and missed out because of that worry?

The stir could be worry for a loved one. A parent. A child. A friend in despair. A health scare. Financial worries. So many scenarios. So little sleep. How many nights in a row can one endure?

The stir could be your next vacation. The excitement. The ready to go but the time hasn’t arrived yet. This is similar to the start of a new job. A new place to live. Maybe even the birth of a child.

If one doesn’t get the proper rest, the days ahead are impacted: one can be irritated easily. One can make poor decisions. One can isolate themselves to protect others from their bad vibes. The rippling effect from sleep deprivation is pretty long.

For purposes of this post I’ll write I hate with a passion when my sleep is disrupted for stupid things. When my mind races on people who just don’t matter in my life. Insignificant people as these are people lurking in the distance not even in your circle. The ones who try to sabotage your happiness for their own advancement. Not even close enough to matter yet the ones that want to throw the biggest stones at you with the biggest intent to harm you. 

With 2020 in the rear view and people rising from the pandemic ashes you would think people in general would just be content and happy. Unfortunately life isn’t that way. Too many people who feel entitled. Too many miserable people who watch to snatch happiness from others.

Tonight I lost sleep. This post is dedicated solely to the one asshole that try to invade my precious mind space. My precious sleep. My privacy. Although he interrupted my sleep he didn’t prevail. For today is Sunday. A day of rest for me. A day of naps if needed. A little yoga to release the tension in my mind. My happiness is not up for sale nor up for the taking.  

I let the asshole in for a minute when I was tired. Now I’m wide awake. Buckled in for the badass ride that’s on the horizon. I love dirt roads. Bumpy roads are fun too. Add a little rain or a little sunshine I’m game for the weather changes just like I’m ready to play chess or go to battle for myself.  

We are all capable of controlling negativity that enters our life. A dark cloud lingering can be a stir in the night. For some that stir in the night spills over to the next day. Find your sunshine. Don’t let the negative people or scenarios burden you. Train your brain to see life in a positive light. It’s possible. Just shake it off when something gets in your head for that moment. That’s what I did. I said get the f$&k out.

dare to be different

Thursday

Today is Thursday. I made it to Thursday. My week has been a shit storm of this, that, the other and then some. It’s like the shit was smeared across my bathroom mirror, the car window, the computer screen, the kitchen table, you name it.

I guess you get the picture I have painted. Now I’m not thirsty or I would be taking advantage of it being Thirsty Thursday. Instead I’m opting for some time in my thinking chair. Feet kicked up. Faithful dog by my side while I listen to traffic pass by in the nearby street.

I think about those cars rushing to their next destination. Hustle, bustle, and hustle some more. It’s the grind we live. For me I’m pausing in the space between activities, work and life to catch my breath. A deep breath. It’s been a hell of a week and it’s just Thursday!

This is where the self talk comes in. One day left. Another 8-10 hours of petty bullshit. I got it. I already went through the thick and gooey shit. The end of the week should be a breeze. Get after it. Make Friday your day. Slay and put all that shit in the shitter where it belongs.

This weekend I will focus on recharging. Resetting my mind. Re-engaging with my social circle. Relaxing in a new environment. I will even make it a point to eat or drink something new to step out of my comfort zone. It doesn’t matter if I don’t like it. It matters that I push my limits while recharging. It’s part of the process of reawakening oneself.

Have you ever had a day, a week or any amount of time that life just seemed to get sucked out of you? Everyone needing your time, your attention, your emotional energy causing you to be tired and ready to just shut down. That about sums up my last couple days. 

I made it to today. This fine hour where I could be doing a lot of other stuff but I chose me. I chose correctly. If I don’t take care of me, I will never have what it takes to support those around me who need me. The ones that I lead when they question their path. The ones who need a gentle nudge. Even the ones who need a firm push.

I matter just like you matter. Look in the mirror each day and smile. Reflect on why you matter. Embrace it. You make the world better. One step at a time.

For my Friday wish, I wish for whomever reading this to be content with who they are today. Not who they were in the past and not who they will be in the future. Just who they are today. The me of today matters the most. Live life to the fullest.