Tag: confidence

coaching, hustle

Purpose

2chicksandapen

 

Recently I was in a position where I needed to review my purpose, my passions, my goals and my visions. That seems like a mouthful in and of itself, but it is healthy to want to review where you are, where you are going, and if you are even on the right path in life with the right people in your inner circle.

Often times, people become complacent. They expect things versus earning things.  They stand still and are content with the status quo. They complain when things don’t go their way. They make excuses. I beat to a different drum. I mean, I complain a lot. A lot about things that don’t really matter much at all. Sometimes I complain about the weather. Sometimes I complain about my daily workout. Neither really impacts my day or aura, but I feel the need to complain and I usually do it out loud! But when it comes down to where I am heading in life and who is along for the ride, I don’t really waver on my direction or drive.

My Personal Side: I have three kids in three different age brackets: Young adult, emerging adult and teenager. Each has different needs from me at these various stages but each is given love, guidance and motivation to reach their next milestone. As our kids age, we shift roles as they navigate life and turn into independent learners and become responsible. We can only hope for success for each of our kids.

My Professional Side: I am successful professionally. I earn a good living but am I 100% challenged or loving everything I do? The answer is NO. There are tasks like monthly sales tax reporting, payroll, and dealing with human capital issues that I am not so passionate about.  These repetitive tasks require my time and energy. Is the trade off there for work/life balance? I am still figuring this out. I would much prefer a tropical island with good weather year-round and no need to have a professional side. Maybe that is in my near future….

My Healthy Living: I commit to eating healthy 90% of the time, limiting alcohol consumption, and making time for me (self-care). I heard somebody call that high maintenance today, but no it isn’t high maintenance, rather it’s high quality! For me, committing to me and my positive mental balance helps my patience/stamina when it comes to difficult family challenges, work challenges, and of course difficult people.

My Value: I know my personal/professional value. I encourage you to know your value. Continue to evolve as a person which will grow your value over time. Never let anyone diminish your self-worth. Once you allow another to dictate your worth, you will begin to struggle in other areas. Remember you control your value, not others.

My Purpose Work: I do a lot of purpose work. Some people see the purpose work, while it’s hidden in plain sight to others. This is where I fill my tank. Not my gas tank, my emotional tank. My purpose work helps carry me through the challenging times of the hustle and bustle of carting kids around or managing mundane business tasks.

Did you know 2 Chicks donates books each year to kids in need? Improving literacy one child at a time is part of our purpose work. Should you want to help sponsor a book drive in your area, contact us today.

Find your purpose. Live your purpose. Pass the passion of living your life with purpose to others. Many get caught up in their daily to-do lists and forget about laughing, smiling, and inspiring others. Offering hope, humor, smiles, and high-fives are all free. If only more people acted with kindness.

Signing off for now.  2 Chicks have a sizzling summer planned with lots of writing.  Watch our blog weekly for updates.

We are knee-deep in our #1095Days project which includes you, the audience!  Be sure to read, comment, and let us know what you like and don’t like.  You are part of our story!

dare to be different, hustle

Gifts or Shadows?

2chicksandapen

What are your gifts or shadows? I took my Enneagram test to verify what I already knew, but also to see how I could play better in the sandbox with others I collaborate with on the daily. I have taken many tests that are similar in nature. Most come out and highlight my dominant gifts or shadows, but this tool allowed me to look a little deeper. It was a good time to test myself. See what the report revealed. Have I changed? What personality types could I clash with? How can I improve?

I am a few years older since my last test of this sort. I am in a different space personally and professionally. I collaborate with a mixed group of individuals now. Timing was good to take a deeper look at me. Below are a few fun facts.

I am an 8 not a 10. Shocker alert! Shoot, I always thought I was a 10 across the board! Just kidding, there are no 10s. I wonder if that is by design? What is an 8 you might wonder?

Number 8 represents The Challenger:

The Powerful, Dominating Type:

Self-Confident, Decisive, Willful, and Confrontational

If you spend anytime around me in the workplace, in the gym, on the field or anywhere for that matter, you are sure to see the challenger in me. Heck, I even drive a fierce red Challenger on the daily. Talk about an irony. Guess I will keep that car since it mirrors my persona!

Next up in the rankings, the results show me as The Enthusiast:

The Busy, Variety-Seeking Type:

Spontaneous, Versatile, Distractible, and Scattered

For those who know me well, they often see me as a headlines girl. The one who looks for shiny objects in those long board meetings. The squirrely friend in the pack. I often enjoy chaos and note the scattered, smothered and covered hash browns you can order at Waffle House when painting a visual to others. #distractible

The next two types came in close so I will list them both below:

The Achiever:

The Success-Oriented, Efficient Type:

Adaptive, Excelling, Driven, and Image-Conscious

I am a driver, no joke there. Not too good at the passenger role but I play it from time to time to keep peace. I strive for success in every aspect of life and I note that a positive image is a must. I would say I ranked up high in the achiever category for good reasons.

The Loyalist:

The Committed, Security-Oriented Type:

Engaging, Responsible, Anxious, and Suspicious

I am disciplined and aim to keep humor in my life. I plan for rainy days and am always suspicious of other people’s motives. This is yet another trait that doesn’t surprise me.

I have the details printed, highlighted and cross-referenced to those I work with closely. I still have one individual to fine tune my traits with, yet that person has failed to complete their Enneagram test. It’s really doesn’t shock me. Some people find it difficult to self-evaluate. Looking in the mirror can be hard. Some don’t want to face the hard truth.

When one person challenges another to look in the mirror, the other can feel intimidated regardless of the real motivation. This is where perception and reality come into play. Your perception of me or my actions may not be the reality. Step out of your comfort zone today. Take an Enneagram Test. I don’t get paid to endorse this test, I just think it’s a good tool to review where you are and how you interact with others around you.

https://www.enneagraminstitute.com

It’s difficult to acknowledge you need to improve yourself but the reality is we all grow each day. Nobody is perfect. We never will be. We can only be the best version of ourselves and it takes time and energy to continue to develop that person. It really takes a lifetime.

At my ripe old age of 47, I can say I have grown by leaps and bounds. Some years the growth was slower than others, but when I recognize the opportunity to grow, I never hesitate. I seize the opportunity and go for it. Challenge yourself today in honor of my car (the red Challenger) and my Type 8, The Challenger. Remember nothing ventured, nothing gained. Will you grow a little today?

dare to be different

Shoe Issues or is it Shoe Goals?

2chicksandapen

3 years of CrossFit and my shoes have evolved just like me.

When I was clueless as a newbie at CrossFit I wore tennis shoes. Plain Jane tennis shoes. Well they had a swoosh on them and they said cross trainers but were they good for CrossFit?

In a short time I found out I didn’t like to box jump in them because I bit it more than once. Could have been my skill level but I will go with the shoes. I didn’t like to run in them because they didn’t feel good on my shins. Whether it was the shoes or my excuses, I don’t really know for sure. Then before long I found out I didn’t like to lift in them. Just all around blah. But since I didn’t know if I would like CrossFit I didn’t invest in shoes just yet.

A few months passed and the new year came. I waited patiently and watched to see what others had on their feet. There was a good variety of brands and types. Some even changed shoes to run or to lift. I was fascinated. I asked questions. In no time, I bought my first pair of Metcons. Vibrant blue. Oh, how they seemed heavy when I ran. Like I was running with bricks on my feet. They just didn’t move well with me. Off they go to a friend.

“Don’t I just waste money on shoes?” I say to myself. I mean it happens to the best of us. I have bought heels before and they feel fine when I’m in the shoe store then I wear them for a day and I’m like heck no.  After some debate with myself, I ended up with some Reebok Nanos. I liked them. First I had a black pair. Black matches everything but then I felt goth. A new model Nano was coming out so I picked up a blue pair since I liked these. Then white. I was content but they were not my favorite to run in and in year two I started running a lot more.

Enter the new Nanos that were a cross between a running shoe and the other model. I saw a badass in the gym wearing them. I inquired. I purchased. First, a black pair. A conservative option. Oops, I ran a mud race in them which was a bad choice so I replaced them with black pair #2. Then, fun colors came out and so did the sales. I snagged pink, navy blue, turquoise and a grayish green color. I could match most outfits and I liked to run in these. I wanted to buy a few pairs in case they went end of life. Of course, it helped they had fun color choices.

I ventured out and bought a pair of of the new Nanos…7 or 8. I hated them. They had a weird coating on them and they had a small toe base. Gave those suckers away to a friend quickly. So then I said I’m gonna break the hundred dollar spend limit and invest in some No Bull shoes. Purely because the name was cool. They were red on the box but had an orange glow. Just didn’t feel comfy in them so I passed them on to a friend. Barely worn shoes can easily find a second home.

I went on shoe restriction for a bit. Just counting above will explain why I put myself on shoe restriction. I mean I still need flip flops, heels for work and cute tennies for my everyday outfits.

Okay, so it was maybe 3 months later when my son started CrossFitting with me. He needed some new shoes. He bought Camo Metcons. He loved them. We wear the same size so I tried them and guess what? I liked these. Either they got lighter or my legs got stronger and I didn’t think they were too heavy. I checked online and darn it they didn’t have cool girl colors. What a let down.

Then I flipped over to the dude colors and was like what the heck? They have a much better selection. I couldn’t decide between the grey Camo and orange or the red and army Camo. I just bought both on a whim. Then I decided I would wear one of each shoe together. That was a lot of fun. Then I switched back to just orange and grey and red and army Camo.

Then the phone ads pop up. The girls line just came out with baby blue with shimmer Metcons. Seriously, just after my men’s order shipped. It was Valentine’s Day so I gifted them to myself…sneaky, I know.

Then the chalkboard and whiteboard versions. I wanted both but I passed on them. I just figured too many would have them and I just like to be on the edge of different.

A few more versions were released for girls and I wanted them bad but I refrained. It was hard. Then I saw a bright pink, white and black pair conveniently around my birthday. Gift time again. Nobody ever knows what to get this girl so Metcons it was. These were preorder so I didn’t get them for another month. I just love them, all of them.

Then today I see a new flashy pair. Golden with floral pops. A must have! Did you say Mother’s Day is just around the corner? Sure did! Look a perfect gift for Mom. Metcons for Mom. Preorders rock. A little delayed gratification for this girl but now I have the run of the closet floor to choose from for my daily WODs.

To some, I am sure they see me as wasteful but I seriously choose my outfit down to my socks based on what movements we are doing that day.  Shoes are included in this regimen. Crazy girl I am but welcome to my world of shoes. I absolutely refuse to add up the dollar amount spent but I seriously work hard so I can buy shoes.

And, I almost forgot I also have a pair of Reebok lifters. White with pink. Only use those for special occasions. And I just ordered a pair of Nike running shoes for my spring/summer running goals. Colorful and full of flair just like me. I guess you can see I am not your simple, basic girl.

My goals are big. My shoes are expensive. I work hard to afford my shoe fetish. #kt.247

I also have a t-shirt problem but I will save that for another post. Chick 2 may contribute to my delinquency in this arena. To the extent I probably need to open a t-shirt company. (Enter a big sigh.)

balance, perspective

When You Get to the End of the Track…

2chicksandapen

 

This is a time of year where lots of things are wrapping up. The school year ends. Spring teams finish their seasons. Social media timelines fill with cascades of graduations, parties, ceremonies, awards, and more.

Endings give me all the feels. Joyful, sentimental, reflective, bittersweet. And yes, even nervous and a little overwhelmed about what comes next.

When that nervous feeling comes, I think back to our first book, “The End.” It reminds me that yes, every ending is a new beginning. This is a door that will open to new opportunities. I can be appreciative of what has happened and also embrace what is coming next with anticipation and energy and enthusiasm.

So, when I come to the end of a stage and the road ahead is unclear, instead of looking down or just stopping in my tracks, I need to see that it’s time to fly. To soar into something new and different. New challenges. New paths. New chances to succeed.

 

awareness, perspective

My Reflection

2chicksandapen

When I look into the mirror, I see me. I see my strengths, I see my weaknesses and I see the stress I carry from my short life in ways others may not see, even if I’m right in front of them.

What does my reflection show to world? The face of good of health and nourishment, a smile that can light up a room, and eyes that are as blue as the ocean. Some may even say I am cute.

Cute only gets one so far as you age. Cute doesn’t define or shape who I am on the inside. I have a chronic medical condition. I even have a pacemaker-type device in my chest. I have dealt with this medical challenge and it’s rippling effect my entire life.  My life hasn’t been easy. My implant surgery was major and I almost had brain surgery a few years ago. Despite all odds, I have worked hard and persevered in most areas of my life. I have accomplished more than doctors ever thought I could. But nobody knows that I struggle each day.

Only my close friends, family and medical team are my inner circle and know me inside. I don’t even have many close friends because most people shy away from those who are different. Not because I am scary, rather due to lack of
knowledge and willingness to face the unknown. 

I like to keep my condition private to avoid judgment from others. This has been my choice thus far in life. This choice has come with consequences. I have had to miss out on events over the years and lost close friends because I couldn’t do all the things they could do or wanted to do. Social acceptance can be hard as you grow up and missing out on some milestones in my youth days has hindered my development. I can only imagine what challenges will arise in adulthood when you are like me.

As I age, expectations are placed on me that mirror those of others my age to do this or achieve that or even perform a certain way. Basically putting me into a box. A box of what my life should be like for somebody my age. The problem is I don’t fit in that box or any box for that matter.

No box needed! I am special. I am special like a fine jewel, not special as in incapable, stupid, or even retarded. I sometimes have to think differently or take a longer path to complete something due to my medical challenges. Unfortunately, the high-paced hustle of today’s world doesn’t adapt well to people like me.

I’m simple. I don’t really like to use the internet. I barely text. I’d rather talk to another human face to face. I don’t like voicemail either. My communication skills are one of my strongest attributes yet it’s almost a lost skill in today’s technology world.

Getting a job is almost 100% online now. I am a number. If I don’t type well, I fall into the dumb category. If I don’t have a resume full of fancy graphics, I fall short on the tech-savvy qualifier. This list could go on and on about the negatives of being me and being different.

Thankfully, I have been taught not to dwell on the negative but it’s getting harder and harder. I’m emotionally spent every time I need explain the why I’m different or why things take me longer or why I can’t do something even if I look like the person next to me!

My insides are different. I’m wired for me and I just wish the world accepted me for who I am. I can dream that one day people will understand me and appreciate my value because I have value. Sometimes you just have to look beyond the surface to see my loyalty, my trust, my kind soul and my incredible work ethic.

Where do I fit in the world today and where will my future take me? Why does being different have to be so complicated? Why do I have to explain to ignorant people how hard my life already is without adding the stress of their ignorance to my plate?

If only people saw my insides in the mirror instead of my outside. Would they see the time bomb ticking in my head? Would they see a hamster wheel running 24/7? My insides are a mystery to me in a way but would my insides help people tolerate my differences? Should I have to broadcast my life to the world to get acceptance?

In my short time on earth I have learned a lot about people. Some are kindhearted but the vast majority fall into the ‘other’ category that normally puts their own needs and wants ahead of others.

I hope my open letter hits home with somebody on the internet. I hope that one person chooses to be kind today, tomorrow and the next day. This world needs more kindness and hope. More positive messages to overshadow the negative that can weigh a person down.

My life is changing in many ways. I can’t see far ahead because I keep hitting road blocks. I restart over and over but how many times can one restart before they give up?

I want to restart. I hope I can restart now and prepare myself to restart again because all I can see ahead is restarts. I am different in a world of predesigned boxes. Mine apparently has the reject stamp on the box and I’m desperate to reconfigure my box to adapt to my special qualities.

Mental toughness is a battle everyday to some. It gets harder and harder to adapt when roadblocks are tossed at you in abundance. 

One day you may find me floating by on the highway in my not-so-fancy RV or home on wheels. Out to adventure and see the world my way. If I can’t fit in a box I’m going to have to define my alternate path. From what I hear, the road less traveled can be a fun one, since most stay in the box that was designed for them by another. 

Thank you for reading a glimpse of my life. And it’s such a small glimpse it’s like a small hair. Maybe I will share another story or hair of my life again soon. Until then, I will seize the day and tackle all the adversity that comes my way. To please the world as it sits today, I will have one foot in my predesigned box and one foot outside while I figure out my life. I may or may not be flipping the bird to others around me who are ignorant to my differences. 

This story is honest and heartfelt. It is written as a tribute to all those who need a little hope when life gets hard and keeps you in that dark place. Get up, get going and prove others wrong.