Tag: balance

perspective

Let it Go

2chicksandapen

Recently I heard a comment about growth. I wasn’t thinking the growth was really my growth, rather the growth of another. Boy was I wrong.

I had to take some time to think about the growth opportunity. We were at a crossroads of sorts. Her learning to fly. Me letting her fly solo throwing caution to the wind. Whether near or far as a mom you always have a eerie sense of worry for your kid. It never really goes away. My mom is in her eighties and she still feels the worry of her kids.

Nonetheless,  adjusting my comfort zone to let another sink or swim on their own was as much about my growth as hers. As you have a child become an adult, you can only hope they remember every life lesson you gave them. Direct or indirect lessons of all kinds. The life experiences along the way. The life lessons that should influence solid decision making. That is just so easy to say. The reality is always much different.

Despite what you teach along the way, it is ultimately on them to find their moral compass. To make good choices. To surround themselves with a tribe that is good company. Sometimes this doesn’t happen on day one. Sometimes there are mistakes or bumps along the way as they spread their wings.

All you can do is guide, cheer and support from a distance. The passenger seat. You don’t get to choose their spouse. You don’t get to choose if they have kids. You don’t get to choose where they live. Your life and role in their life shifts. This is as much about your growth as theirs.

Girls may grow through this phase of life at different speeds than boys. No two kids are the same despite the same upbringing. I should know this myself just by looking at myself and my siblings as adults. So many differences yet same household growing up. Each of us took different paths. Each totally different lifestyles. None of which are wrong. Just different.

I’ve been at peace for a while on what I can control. What I can teach in the final days. What could be on the horizon. Once that peace is engrained in my mind, I am able to focus on what’s next for me.

This is my growth opportunity. New hobbies. Time to travel. Goals to achieve. Time to prep for my next adventure stage of life. Things will be different. There will quieter times. There may even be gaps in excitement. This is where I again need to refocus on what’s important for me now. How do I grow?

Cleansing my mind.

Letting go.

Closing my eyes to see what I desire.

The day dreaming.

The growth.

The opportunities.

My time has arrived. 

Her time of need is in the shadows.

Off to college she goes. Off to master life as an empty nester for me. Each flying solo in their way. Why did it take me to today to realize this? 

Off we go.

New chapters loading.

Out with the old.

In with the new.

balance, business

Chipping Away

2chicksandapen

Chipping away at the long days. The endless to do lists. Chip. Chip. Chip. The rat race of life. Where does balance come in?

Fitness

Fun

Purpose

Passion

Balance

Today I was stuck in my pilot seat, otherwise known as my office chair longer than I would like. I was participating in training that required hours in the hot seat. I was learning a ton but wasn’t moving much. Hence my Apple Watch rings were not moving at their normal pace. As I chipped away at my training I would drift off here and there. It happens to the best of us.

For me today I was thinking how to balance my day since it was so sedentary. I started with fitness. I made sure I had carved out some time for tennis and cardio later in the day. This made me happy knowing I could move a bit after a grueling day.

Then I thought about how to make my day fun since my training was a bit of a depressing topic. I managed to meet up with a friend for cardio which consisted of many good laughs. Especially when the fireman told the story about the most bizarre call at 3am on shift: the woman who called to say her vagina was on fire because she put a jalapeño in it. Not kidding at all. And a county does have to use your tax dollars to answer all the crazy dispatches for emergency services. This was definitely the funniest part of my day.

I always need to know I dedicated some time to my purpose work and today this was super easy. My training was to to enhance my knowledge on a mental health training I present several times a year. My purpose work. This kind of work in my day brings joy, not only a sense of accomplishment but also such a warm feeling due to the benefits to others.

Passion: am I being passionate about what I do each day? Is my passion showing in my work? Is my passion inspiring others? Does my passion impact my bottom line. Why yes to all of the above. When I can see my passion oozing out my pores in any given day, I am elated.

When I revisit my five words noted above in my day and I see success in all.

Areas I know I am succeeding in at life. I have achieved balance. The balance that is important to me. My measuring stick. Not yours. Mine.

balance

A Peaceful Stroll

2chicksandapen

Today I took a quiet stroll.

Alone.

My stroll wasn’t preplanned rather it was spontaneous. Off I went. The air was cool and crisp. The shade of the trees added a drop in temperature to 8-10 degrees lower. Unexpected chill but maybe that alerted my senses more.

Hands in pockets watching the trees blow around me. Enjoying the scents in the air on this morning. My path wasn’t set. I was just shuffling along. Sometimes on pavement. Sometimes on gravel. I had the option of grass but didn’t drift that way.

On my stroll I thought about many things. I listened to many sounds. I viewed and observed all of what was around me. I genuinely felt thankful for where I am in life. For the good times as well as the bad times. Sometimes taking a back seat to your own life allows you to see your fortune. Not the fortune of money rather the fortune of life and living it. Experience.

I have experience. I can bend and flex and fit into any mix of people or settings. A skill I have worked on all my whole life. Experiences have helped me mature enough to know when I need to bend and flex. When to reframe the gloomy outlook. When to spark creativity.

My mind works in overdrive during the oddest times. Sometimes it’s in a sleep state. Sometimes on a random stroll. The beauty of a quiet mind yields results. I had a recent conversation with a teenage boy. He mentioned how long it takes him to fall asleep. I questioned why. He noted his mind takes time to wind down.

How I related in many ways. In life we all must find a balance for not only us but those closest to us. Kids especially have an always on mentality. Even more so than me. The younger generation is overactive online making it hard to flip the off switch. They are less likely to take the stroll alone I mentioned above. Therefore we should check in on those around us to see how we can help them recharge in non-traditional ways.

Sports or working out of sorts helps as the fatigue will wear one out.

A day at the beach can help. The sun. The sand. The limited reach of electronics. All add a level of fatigue.

An outing such as a hike, bowling, top golf, go-karting, kayaking, and so on. These little outings can provide a change of scenery. A lot of laughter. An escape from the planned days many are accustomed to. Adventures will let the mind settle and possibly add a dream state of what could be next.

Add mindfulness to your day or week. My Apple Watch tells me it’s a thing. Something to remind me to do daily, however I already know this. I am hopeful this post will spur thoughts or action in you or inspire you to influence another. 

Practice mindfulness.

Set a goal of peace for yourself.

Challenge yourself to do something different.

Riding your bike to work one day not driving may be just the variation you need. Not all can do this but if you can, try it. See how it goes. 

balance

Balancing Act

2chicksandapen

At what age do you find a healthy life balance? Is it possible to always be in balance? I think about the balance in life a lot.

Today I think about the life balance of my teen. Balancing the rigorous school requirements. Adding in daily sports commitments. Homework. Friends. Boyfriend. Weekend out of town. Late night out on a school night for a birthday celebration. Go. Go. Go. Not slow. Just go. Just go hard. Just go now. Just keep going. It’s a vicious cycle. Where is the balance? Is there the possibility of balance without letting something or somebody down?

As an adult the roles shift but the question still remains the same. Eat, sleep, work, chores, deadlines, friends, health appointments, kid appointments, significant other time, caregiver time, emotional support, laundry, emergencies, bills, travel, and the list can go on and on. Is it possible to balance it all, everyday for infinity? Is that even realistic?

Sometimes my balanced state is my time in the car. The time I drive from point A to point B. Sometimes I even take the long way. Just to let the stillness continue. My time alone. My time to think or maybe not think at all. My time to pause the crazy schedule, routine or even have to’s. A new scenery. A time to readjust or realign my expectations.

If I miss my car time because I get a phone call demanding my time and attention I lose my balance. If I miss this opportunity, I have to find another way to reset the balance. A walk. A break to play with my dogs. Maybe even a nap at an odd time. It’s taken me many years to figure out what my healthy balance is. However, I worry about today’s kids. How do they find their balance in our crazy world? 

Born into digital life, some kids lack problem solving abilities or basic social skills. This is concerning because they may never figure out balance or pausing the noises of life, especially the digital distractions. Add in unrealistic expectations across the board and balance goes to the wayside.

As I wrap up this post I am leaving you with a challenge.

Challenge yourself to find new ways to balance your life. Talk to a friend about the topic and see if you can challenge a friend to work on their balance. I’m obviously hoping for a domino effect. Drop us a line to tell us what you did to balance your life. 

Balance away!

challenges

The Off Season

2chicksandapen

I am a teacher. I work from 8:00 am (or earlier) until 4:00 pm 190 days a year. During those hours I am a role model for little kids, a good colleague to my co-workers, and so on. What happens when I head out to stores to do errands after school?

As an elementary school teacher, I honestly still watch myself a lot of the time. I know I could look up at a store or restaurant and see little eyes looking up at me with an incredulous squeal: Mom, it’s Dr. Friese!! This has happened many times. For that reason, I can’t be cursing or loading up on margaritas when I am out and about, especially within a certain radius of my school.

This self-censorship of sorts extends to social media. I rarely post anything except for very “innocent” family or fitness updates. I stay out of photos where drinking or other grown-up activities are involved. I don’t post political content as much as I can avoid it. I have just a handful of select parents who can see what I post. Otherwise, I just refuse most of those requests, but I am still aware than many people could be looking. I sit through legal presentations each year that share examples of teachers losing their jobs because they post themselves doing legal, adult things online that a parent used against them. Better safe than sued or jobless is my mindset, I guess.

Some comments lately had me wondering if this is fair…as a teacher, I feel expected to hold up some sort of rated-G moral standard no matter where I am. The other roughly 14 hours a day and 175 days a year I am not at school, I often mentally steer away from situations where I can be captured doing “inappropriate” things. But is it fair to expect that I’ll just be basically angelic most of the time? Is being a teacher what I do or who I am? Who gets to decide?

Others close to me have been in this situation lately as well. A friend who is a nurse had a family member go through a medical crisis. She wasn’t completely happy with the way all the care was going and let the staff know it. She wasn’t ugly or unreasonable as much as firm and inquisitive. She was told she wasn’t being professional. But her role in this situation was that of a family member advocating for her parents’ health. Does she have to be a professional even in her personal life?

What other jobs seem to carry the expectation of acting a certain way 24/7/365… am I always a mother? A father? How about the captain of an athletic team? Do I have to behave “as a captain” even in the off season? What does that mean? If I am a forklift operator or a chef, I don’t have the weight of those jobs following me around all the time. How about an athletic coach to young people? A politician? A priest? A police officer? Why do some jobs or roles become identities and others allow you to clock out and just be who you are?

I don’t have solutions for this. It just troubles me how some jobs or roles are seen as 24/7 while others can be left behind when work is over. It’s not even the highest paid people who can just shed their professions at will. Some onlookers use these roles as a weapon when they don’t like what you are doing. (Heaven forbid you’re a teacher and post something with spelling errors!)

In the end, we are all just human, with likes and dislikes, flaws and foibles and lives outside of our work. Just a few early morning thoughts.