Category: perspective

perspective

Age is Just a Number, Right?

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14, 19, 50 are the years I’ve celebrated this month in just my immediate family, aka birthdays. Each requiring different celebrations, gifts, and so on.

Interestingly enough, each year reflects different milestones and challenges that hit in those life periods. This also made me reflect on my elderly parents who sit in their 80’s now. What advice would they pass on? How different was their life at those ages? How different is their life now? What will our futures look like in another 30 years?

Technology alone has shifted our world tremendously. When I think back 19 years I think of 9/11 and Y2K. When I think back almost 50 years, I think about a blissful childhood where life was carefree. No cell phones, no iPads, no frills. When I think back just shy of 14 years, I think of the housing market crash and all the changes that arose from that.

So many questions. So much history lived in just my life journey. Time to saddle up and enjoy whatever life adventures or hurdles come my way in the next several years. Fortunately my blog is an online repository for my future grandkids to sift through and see what life was like through my lens.

Reflection is good. Take a glance at your last ten years. Where have you been, what new adventures have you tackled? If things seem stale in your life, get up and live. Life can pass you by if you just sit still in the easy comfort zone. Tomorrow is never guaranteed. We all still have today so live like there is no tomorrow.

Laugh more. Love many. Live life. Leave your regrets behind.

perspective

Have You Ever Been Ghosted?

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Screen Shot 2019-08-18 at 2.08.13 PM

Interesting question if you don’t know the meaning!

Different age groups might define ghosting differently but the term came up in discussions more than once this past week, leading me to write a ghosting blog post.

To get started, an acquaintance asked for some advice about getting ghosted as it pertains to applying for a job. As in, this day and age requires one to apply online for most companies. What happens when you have an interview and think all is going well but then the call back never comes? You’ve in essence been ghosted. The business could have shifted focus or decided to hire from within but you feel ghosted. Rejected. Unwanted. It happens and was the case in this recent conversation.

In this scenario of ghosting, one has to look at the history. Does this ghosting happen after every interview? If so, one has to dive in deeper to see what may be going wrong to avoid this type of ghosting in the future. Is this an isolated situation? Then maybe ghosting was in your mind, but without knowing the facts from the hiring professional’s standpoint, ghosting can’t be confirmed.

In another example, a young adult felt the ghostly chill of no call back when submitting job applications online. Am I not good enough? Why can’t I have a chance? This might be a far-fetched example of ghosting due to no initial contact from the perspective employer, however the feeling of being ghosted in any way can be hurtful and hinder the job hunting process for many. I would guess technology is good for some but challenging for others when one looks at this type of ghosting or emptiness.

How about being ghosted in a casual relationship? That’s a big pill to swallow but it happens more often then you think. No closure. No explanation. One is just cut off entirely. This scenario of ghosting can wreak havoc on one’s emotional state and ultimately impact future relationships, especially in the trust area.

How about the friend circle? Have you ever been ghosted without explanation from a good friend? Have you ever ghosted somebody in your friend circle?

It happens. It happens more than you think. All along as a kid I learned about Casper the friendly ghost. Fast forward to this day and age and ghosting is a thing of the times. Ghost or be ghosted!

I see it more often then I care to think about. Some get ghosted for good reason. Others get ghosted out of fear. Some people ghost people over and over once that individual has limited value to ghoster.

Could you feel ghosted if you are not on the hot invite list for an upcoming event? Sure. But one thing to consider in this scenario is most invite lists are not unlimited. It’s like a wedding. There is a cutoff point. To me this isn’t ghosting but do some think of this scenario as being ghosted?

Do you ever think you inadvertently cause yourself to be ghosted? Maybe you are the Negative Nelly of the bunch. The one who always complains. The one that makes an excuse for this and that. Could you ghost yourself through your own actions? I think the answer is yes.

Having a friend circle has some ebbs and flows. Some friends are around for the short ride. Some are along for the long haul. And then there are those that seem like speed bumps along the way.

Ghosting is interesting to think about. It’s a people thing. A relationship thing. It’s also the kind of thing that can make some people fall off the deep end emotionally. One thing I can say about ghosting is it can be necessary. If you are in a toxic situation/relationship ghosting a person may be the best option. A clean break.

I dare you to think about ghosting. How it impacts you. How ghosting actions can impact others.

I doubt I will write about ghosting again but this was interesting enough to toss this post out here to the readers to ponder thoughts.

perspective

Junkyard Stories

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Tragedy struck close to home a short bit ago. A medical emergency. A car. An ambulance. And so much more…

I’ve been waiting to write this post until the dust settled a bit. Emotions were high. Lives were altered. A new normal was on the horizon. Blurred vision on most days but clarity can be in sight for him. Time will be needed.

Everyone walked away and hopefully lessons were learned by all. I met strangers that day who cared. They cared enough to follow up the next day. Kindness can exist outside our of inner circle.

Life is precious. Life can be taken in an instant. I have seen tragedy strike many families. It is never fun nor easy. I escaped that fate that day if only by a hair. But the thought was there.

When the phone rings. That call. The silence. The sirens. The need to act NOW. The emergency call nobody wants to get, ever.

Putting trust in others. Knowing you knew the paramedic on the scene. What a coincidence or blessing? A burden was lifted. The torch of trust was passed. You balance what needs to be done. You support those involved and rebuild what crumbled.

Through a history of events I ended up at the junkyard. To see a new car crumbled into bits and pieces yet thankful my story ended in the most positive way possible. A life was spared. A valued life. A young life.

But then I looked to the side and saw another vehicle. Less crumbled but scorched. No windows. No doors. Were those occupants as lucky?

Off in the distance a truck must have rolled and rolled during its misfortune. There were globs of grass and dirt and other things sticking out of the vehicle in a way I could only envision that the vehicle flipped many times. The roof was dented and sunken a good distance.

My curious mind sat for a moment and thought of all the untold stories in the junkyard. Was there heartache? Were there financial pains? Was there death? I will never know, but I did think. And I knew how lucky I was in that moment. He might not know today, but I know.

I thought about how thankful I was for things I had. For the experiences I have had thus far and the journeys I still see in my future. I was thankful for a life being spared.

As life shifts, we must shift our mindset to complement change. We must deal with a new set of circumstances yet appreciate what got us to said point in time.

I am blessed not stressed.

I am happy not sappy.

I live but still love.

I fear but don’t but don’t let fear steer.

I am lucky.

balance, perspective

When You Get to the End of the Track…

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This is a time of year where lots of things are wrapping up. The school year ends. Spring teams finish their seasons. Social media timelines fill with cascades of graduations, parties, ceremonies, awards, and more.

Endings give me all the feels. Joyful, sentimental, reflective, bittersweet. And yes, even nervous and a little overwhelmed about what comes next.

When that nervous feeling comes, I think back to our first book, “The End.” It reminds me that yes, every ending is a new beginning. This is a door that will open to new opportunities. I can be appreciative of what has happened and also embrace what is coming next with anticipation and energy and enthusiasm.

So, when I come to the end of a stage and the road ahead is unclear, instead of looking down or just stopping in my tracks, I need to see that it’s time to fly. To soar into something new and different. New challenges. New paths. New chances to succeed.

 

awareness, perspective

My Reflection

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When I look into the mirror, I see me. I see my strengths, I see my weaknesses and I see the stress I carry from my short life in ways others may not see, even if I’m right in front of them.

What does my reflection show to world? The face of good of health and nourishment, a smile that can light up a room, and eyes that are as blue as the ocean. Some may even say I am cute.

Cute only gets one so far as you age. Cute doesn’t define or shape who I am on the inside. I have a chronic medical condition. I even have a pacemaker-type device in my chest. I have dealt with this medical challenge and it’s rippling effect my entire life.  My life hasn’t been easy. My implant surgery was major and I almost had brain surgery a few years ago. Despite all odds, I have worked hard and persevered in most areas of my life. I have accomplished more than doctors ever thought I could. But nobody knows that I struggle each day.

Only my close friends, family and medical team are my inner circle and know me inside. I don’t even have many close friends because most people shy away from those who are different. Not because I am scary, rather due to lack of
knowledge and willingness to face the unknown. 

I like to keep my condition private to avoid judgment from others. This has been my choice thus far in life. This choice has come with consequences. I have had to miss out on events over the years and lost close friends because I couldn’t do all the things they could do or wanted to do. Social acceptance can be hard as you grow up and missing out on some milestones in my youth days has hindered my development. I can only imagine what challenges will arise in adulthood when you are like me.

As I age, expectations are placed on me that mirror those of others my age to do this or achieve that or even perform a certain way. Basically putting me into a box. A box of what my life should be like for somebody my age. The problem is I don’t fit in that box or any box for that matter.

No box needed! I am special. I am special like a fine jewel, not special as in incapable, stupid, or even retarded. I sometimes have to think differently or take a longer path to complete something due to my medical challenges. Unfortunately, the high-paced hustle of today’s world doesn’t adapt well to people like me.

I’m simple. I don’t really like to use the internet. I barely text. I’d rather talk to another human face to face. I don’t like voicemail either. My communication skills are one of my strongest attributes yet it’s almost a lost skill in today’s technology world.

Getting a job is almost 100% online now. I am a number. If I don’t type well, I fall into the dumb category. If I don’t have a resume full of fancy graphics, I fall short on the tech-savvy qualifier. This list could go on and on about the negatives of being me and being different.

Thankfully, I have been taught not to dwell on the negative but it’s getting harder and harder. I’m emotionally spent every time I need explain the why I’m different or why things take me longer or why I can’t do something even if I look like the person next to me!

My insides are different. I’m wired for me and I just wish the world accepted me for who I am. I can dream that one day people will understand me and appreciate my value because I have value. Sometimes you just have to look beyond the surface to see my loyalty, my trust, my kind soul and my incredible work ethic.

Where do I fit in the world today and where will my future take me? Why does being different have to be so complicated? Why do I have to explain to ignorant people how hard my life already is without adding the stress of their ignorance to my plate?

If only people saw my insides in the mirror instead of my outside. Would they see the time bomb ticking in my head? Would they see a hamster wheel running 24/7? My insides are a mystery to me in a way but would my insides help people tolerate my differences? Should I have to broadcast my life to the world to get acceptance?

In my short time on earth I have learned a lot about people. Some are kindhearted but the vast majority fall into the ‘other’ category that normally puts their own needs and wants ahead of others.

I hope my open letter hits home with somebody on the internet. I hope that one person chooses to be kind today, tomorrow and the next day. This world needs more kindness and hope. More positive messages to overshadow the negative that can weigh a person down.

My life is changing in many ways. I can’t see far ahead because I keep hitting road blocks. I restart over and over but how many times can one restart before they give up?

I want to restart. I hope I can restart now and prepare myself to restart again because all I can see ahead is restarts. I am different in a world of predesigned boxes. Mine apparently has the reject stamp on the box and I’m desperate to reconfigure my box to adapt to my special qualities.

Mental toughness is a battle everyday to some. It gets harder and harder to adapt when roadblocks are tossed at you in abundance. 

One day you may find me floating by on the highway in my not-so-fancy RV or home on wheels. Out to adventure and see the world my way. If I can’t fit in a box I’m going to have to define my alternate path. From what I hear, the road less traveled can be a fun one, since most stay in the box that was designed for them by another. 

Thank you for reading a glimpse of my life. And it’s such a small glimpse it’s like a small hair. Maybe I will share another story or hair of my life again soon. Until then, I will seize the day and tackle all the adversity that comes my way. To please the world as it sits today, I will have one foot in my predesigned box and one foot outside while I figure out my life. I may or may not be flipping the bird to others around me who are ignorant to my differences. 

This story is honest and heartfelt. It is written as a tribute to all those who need a little hope when life gets hard and keeps you in that dark place. Get up, get going and prove others wrong.