2 Chicks and a blog

Have You Ever Been Ghosted?

August 25, 2019 2chicksandapen

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Interesting question if you don’t know the meaning!

Different age groups might define ghosting differently but the term came up in discussions more than once this past week, leading me to write a ghosting blog post.

To get started, an acquaintance asked for some advice about getting ghosted as it pertains to applying for a job. As in, this day and age requires one to apply online for most companies. What happens when you have an interview and think all is going well but then the call back never comes? You’ve in essence been ghosted. The business could have shifted focus or decided to hire from within but you feel ghosted. Rejected. Unwanted. It happens and was the case in this recent conversation.

In this scenario of ghosting, one has to look at the history. Does this ghosting happen after every interview? If so, one has to dive in deeper to see what may be going wrong to avoid this type of ghosting in the future. Is this an isolated situation? Then maybe ghosting was in your mind, but without knowing the facts from the hiring professional’s standpoint, ghosting can’t be confirmed.

In another example, a young adult felt the ghostly chill of no call back when submitting job applications online. Am I not good enough? Why can’t I have a chance? This might be a far-fetched example of ghosting due to no initial contact from the perspective employer, however the feeling of being ghosted in any way can be hurtful and hinder the job hunting process for many. I would guess technology is good for some but challenging for others when one looks at this type of ghosting or emptiness.

How about being ghosted in a casual relationship? That’s a big pill to swallow but it happens more often then you think. No closure. No explanation. One is just cut off entirely. This scenario of ghosting can wreak havoc on one’s emotional state and ultimately impact future relationships, especially in the trust area.

How about the friend circle? Have you ever been ghosted without explanation from a good friend? Have you ever ghosted somebody in your friend circle?

It happens. It happens more than you think. All along as a kid I learned about Casper the friendly ghost. Fast forward to this day and age and ghosting is a thing of the times. Ghost or be ghosted!

I see it more often then I care to think about. Some get ghosted for good reason. Others get ghosted out of fear. Some people ghost people over and over once that individual has limited value to ghoster.

Could you feel ghosted if you are not on the hot invite list for an upcoming event? Sure. But one thing to consider in this scenario is most invite lists are not unlimited. It’s like a wedding. There is a cutoff point. To me this isn’t ghosting but do some think of this scenario as being ghosted?

Do you ever think you inadvertently cause yourself to be ghosted? Maybe you are the Negative Nelly of the bunch. The one who always complains. The one that makes an excuse for this and that. Could you ghost yourself through your own actions? I think the answer is yes.

Having a friend circle has some ebbs and flows. Some friends are around for the short ride. Some are along for the long haul. And then there are those that seem like speed bumps along the way.

Ghosting is interesting to think about. It’s a people thing. A relationship thing. It’s also the kind of thing that can make some people fall off the deep end emotionally. One thing I can say about ghosting is it can be necessary. If you are in a toxic situation/relationship ghosting a person may be the best option. A clean break.

I dare you to think about ghosting. How it impacts you. How ghosting actions can impact others.

I doubt I will write about ghosting again but this was interesting enough to toss this post out here to the readers to ponder thoughts.

hustle, working women

A CEO, a Donkey and an Employee

August 21, 2019 2chicksandapen

What do the three above have in common?

Each can be considered a jackass at one point or another! Yep folks, you got it. A jackass!

Not to get off topic, but I start a post sometimes and circle back to finish it up. It could be hours later, days later or even weeks later. But I could not ignore this photo and blurb that I randomly got today….

Look closely folks. My quote said “look, somebody lost their ass on the side of the road.” Now this became a sign for me to finish this post.

Who would have guessed it? I am a jackass a lot of days as the CEO of one of my companies. I know perception isn’t often reality but for some employees their perception can be that I am an ass. I am pretty sure at least one employee has made that claim and I am sure others may in the future. I get it. It’s okay. As the CEO I sometimes have to make unpopular decisions. I sometimes have to offer counseling to employees and they may not like it. It comes with the territory of being the CEO. Taking charge of any and all situations. Most think the view from the top is the best but many don’t see the turbulence a CEO faces on the daily.

In any company, the CEO takes risks. There could be big rewards but there could also be big failures. I’ve experienced both. That’s why so many on the bottom don’t fancy the CEO at the top. Why? Because it’s a seat they will never have! Plain and simple.

Oddly enough, I wear multiple hats in a day, week or month. This gives me the unique vantage point of being an employee some days. Under a different set of circumstances, but an employee nonetheless. An employee, by definition, does a job, collects a fair wage, and completes work assigned or agreed upon for said pay. And guess what? I could actually be a jackass there, too. How could this be true? Hypothetically, I could be the manager nobody likes or respects. I could be the poor performing employee who complains about everything and everyone. I could even be the office gossip.

Whatever my role in those four walls, I am bound to be a jackass to somebody. Is it perception or reality? Maybe I’m a pay tier ahead of the one who thinks I am a jackass. Maybe I make them do more work when I am on vacation. Maybe the boss favors me more. The list could go on and on. I’m sure you get my point. Jackassery can appear amongst the rank and file as well as leadership in any company. Clearly I am using myself as an example to prove a point, but I tell you, I lived all these scenarios at one point in time or another during my professional career.

At the end of the day, a CEO has a job. Their job is to drive the vision of the company and take the company to the next level. The employees are the ones who push the paper, press the keys and provide service to clients. They are the hamsters who run the hamster wheels in whatever industry you work.

Everyone has a role in an organization. Everyone has a lane. At any given time, one of those people in the mix can be a jackass. Do you take it personally and dwell on it? No, because you can’t control it. You move on. You rise another day. You grind another day. You make new decisions as the CEO or you work hard as an employee.

If you zoom in on the jackass picture, who is the jackass? The real ass, as in the donkey? The person who created the donkey in the road mess at rush hour? Or the person driving the car that thought it was a good idea to get out of the truck and…

Well, a picture is worth a thousand words they say. I don’t have a thousand here in this post but I hope I gave you some perspective today. The grass isn’t always greener on the other side of the street, even if it looks that way at a quick glance. Not everyone is meant to be the CEO even if one makes it look easy.

Not sure how I got on the jackass theme but it was a random rant or thought that I jotted down and figured I’d publish it at some point in time. Find your path. Follow it. Don’t worry about others perception of you or your jackassery.

Again, I know plenty of folks who judge me for my choices but at the end of the day they are my choices and I wouldn’t have it any other way.

Now seems like the perfect time to post this because I am a jackass. I will be one today, tomorrow and in the future. No doubt about it. I bet you have been a jackass at some point too.

Do you know a jackass?

Bonus tidbit: if you don’t want to be known as a jackass, adjust your attitude and train your mind to respect others in their roles because you never know what another person is going through or what they have on their plate. Jackassery is not just a debate, it’s a movement.

Now I am ready for a game of pin the tail on the donkey. How I love childhood memories that reflect into adulthood. Have a donkeylicious day folks!

adventure, dare to be different

Black and Badass

August 18, 2019January 9, 2020 2chicksandapen

I did something I have been thinking about off and on the past year. I bought a beach bike.

It’s black. It’s badass. It’s perfect for me. I call it my Batmobile. Powered by me and only me. My thunder thighs will power that bike for miles upon miles. Of course, my Apple Watch will record the miles for proof.

It’s second hand and I’m cool with that. I had been looking for the perfect bike with gears, handle bars and a vibe I envisioned for a long time. Never really found what I wanted. Then somebody hooked me on the online marketplace experience.

Online shopping from my phone and comfy couch. No annoying salespeople. Where somebody else’s junk becomes your treasure. Well, I saw the girl bikes for weeks. Turquoise and tan. White and purple. They all had stupid baskets and sparkles. Not really my thing.

Then, the Batmobile popped up. I knew the person selling it, ironically. But it’s a boy bike. It has a jock bar. Oh, man, I don’t care it’s solid black. Black tires. Black seat. Black bars. It was sleek. It had gears and 29″ tires. Those had me hooked. Simple yet sophisticated. Check out those beefcake thighs rolling that badass bike along.

I got it. Now I’m gonna ride it. Batgirl in the making. Bike adventures to follow. Stay tuned.

fitness and nutrition, friendship

The Friendship Relays

August 14, 2019 2chicksandapen

Six women. Seven o’clock. Early one Sunday morning.

Six different paces. Six different goals.

One had to be done in 50 minutes. One wanted to run two miles. One wanted to run six miles. Others somewhere in between.

Most, but not all, preparing for a half marathon this fall. Several working on upping their speed. Some working just to get (back) into running.

An out-and-back course. One endless hill – gentle slope on the way out, daunting mountain on the way back.

How do we do this, as a group?

Meeting early, we parked. Everyone adjusted their respective technologies…mileage counters, music. The fast group took off, three in number. The wide, empty road with generous sidewalks meant we could see them for a long, long time as they took off at an ambitious clip.

One of us, at a moderate pace, moved right along brightly.

I was in the slow, steady tortoise pair with a friend. We chatted the whole time. Neither was overly winded. And before we knew it, a mile had gone by – and then she said, “that’s the first time I’ve ever run a full mile without stopping.”

WHAT A VICTORY! And I had no idea that was happening! Such a great moment, and we could still keep going.

She was the two-miler this day, so we turned around and paced ourselves back up the hill. Once she was back to the car, I took off down again, only to see the three hares flying up the hill together. The 50-minute limit gal was in that group, and they made the most of it. Screams of KEEP GOING WE’RE ALMOST THERE as they were so close to running to the top! Inspiring!

I plodded down the hill, singing along to the Beastie Boys, Aretha Franklin, Ariana Grande, knowing we had a friend still out on the course. Over a mile passed until I saw her. She was working her way back up. I pulled out my headphones to check in – so hot, it’s THICK out here, I said – then kept moving along toward my goal distance.

Turned back for home, finally. And all I could see was UP. That hill looked SOOOO long. I’d be going at it for a mile and a half (a while and a half!) Endless. And even though I’ve been doing really well most days with just continuing to run, I stopped.

To walk.

And I was so mad at myself. Just knowing the hill was so long, it was enough to make me walk. Just for maybe 45 seconds. Then back into running. Still, though. A mental setback.

One lonely moment. Grudging, trudging entered my mind.

Then, I turned a corner only to see three figures in the distance, two in dark and one in bright, walking down the hill toward me.

It was the other three women still on the route. Coming back for me.

In that moment, gears shifted. Seeing them, I could have run for days. My stride picked up. I sang a little louder. Moved a little faster.

We met and they turned and we finished together, telling stories and giggling.

It IS possible for everyone to meet their goals. Even if the goals (and the gals) are wildly different. Even if they seem incompatible.

It IS ok to “take the long way” or to double back “relay style” as part of your path, especially if it means more time with someone you enjoy. Bonus points if you help them meet their goals, too.

It IS awesome to push yourself to keep up with those moving at a faster clip. Even those who seem the strongest, most invincible among us, have weak points of doubt or moments when they might feel like slowing down. You could be the voice of encouragement at that moment! Yes, YOU!

Even if you are done with your work, have met your goal, and completed your task, going back out to help the people still on the trail when you can is a beautiful show of support. Being last can be challenging, even lonely, even if everyone’s goals are different at the start. And then next time, when you have to begin again, or turn for home and all you can see is a great big pile of UP, that long hill climb might be a little less daunting, knowing you won’t be forgotten.

Six women. Six paces. So many fluid groupings, lessons. Challenges faced, goals achieved. All on one sunny Sunday morning.

celebrations, fitness and nutrition

3-year Anniversary

August 10, 2019August 11, 2019 2chicksandapen

It’s hard to believe I’ve stuck with CrossFit for three years now. Three long years, but three of the best years. I c-e-l-e-b-r-a-t-e-d my CrossFiterversary this week. Whoo hoo!

Not only did I get in shape, I got stronger. Physically, mentally and emotionally, all of which are transferable skill sets. Ironically, I repeated my first CrossFit Open WOD, 17.1, this week. What a great way to visualize my progress. This time around I did box jumps instead of step-ups. This time I used 35# weights instead of 20#. This time I did more reps overall. Hard work does pay off. It’s not at all overnight success!

This week I also celebrated friendships. One person in particular I met on day one. We didn’t talk really. I was the newbie, he was the veteran. Time passed. Hard work was put in. Trust was built. Now we work out side by side, joke around daily, and pass time on weekends. That’s the community aspect of CrossFit. Good people working hard, building bonds over time. It definitely isn’t a cult. It is just like-minded people grinding together over and over and over. In time relationships bud and they tend to be solid. You see each other at your best and your worst and everything in between.

My lifting skills make doing yard work easy peasy. Need to put out 124 bags of pine mulch at home? No problem. My back can handle the bending, lifting and twisting. My stamina will keep me going and my energy level is that of a thoroughbred race horse.

My mental gains are hard to quantify but I will share that my daily workouts which test almost every fiber of my body, mind and spirit give me foresight. The ability to see ahead and know mental strength gets you through the hard times. Mental strength can be developed. You can convince your mind you are capable of whatever task needs to be completed.

The community is like no other. Lawyers or doctors by day. Karate instructors or dancers by night. No matter the occupation most sweat the same. Most battle to complete the workouts. Friendship builds. Trusts builds. Comrades emerge. You can’t find that at a local bar or neighborhood for the most part, as one common denominator is missing. The love of fitness/CrossFit and that crazier-than-ever attitude that goes along with the box community.

Add in some cool coaches, nice equipment, good programming and you get CrossFit Faded Glory. My home base box.

It’s been a journey for me to say the least. I started pushing PVC pipes before bars and dumbbells. Now I will stack those weights on for a heavy snatch or deadlift.

I had to learn how to get my eating to complement my training. I had to find my routine. The routine that I could make work over and over again. It took time. Keto, paleo, macros, oh my.

I rise early. Before the sun rises. I fuel my soul for the day before my family even thinks about starting their day.

I get the blood pumping early. I laugh. I giggle. I sweat my ass off. I put in extra work. I get dirty. After it all I’m ready to conquer whatever crazy comes my way in the day.

And trust me most days of my life involve some sort of crazy. Most I can’t type without offending people, but since my life deals with people there is bound to a mess at some point in each day because people are just messy. Emotional messes. Physically messy. And sometimes even all over place with messy attitudes and emotions. Hence my new vocabulary word: human cRapital…

Thank goodness I found CrossFit. The constantly varied workouts and challenges are a perfect fit for me. The crazier the better.

This past year as I reflected I noted inspiration as a key contributor in my journey. This year I was introduced to a gentleman named Jeremy who modifies his CrossFit workouts. He modifies them because he is in a wheelchair. Talk about amazing. He has brute strength, a big smile and a positive attitude. He grinds just like the rest of us. He sweats just like the rest of us. He doesn’t make excuses. He gets it done. I love watching him workout. It’s a true inspiration.

Then you look another direction and you see Big Brandon. The mammoth lifter in the box but with a heart of gold. Willing to spot you, laugh with you and most importantly teach you to get better. There are so many versions of beefcake Brandon in a box.

There are even the couples who sweat together. The aging couple working on their fitness to preserve themselves for their grandchildren. So inspiring they want to make me set a goal of the senior Olympics when I am older.

You could be the girl who waits a year to even step into the box. Thinking you don’t meet the athletic standard or fit. Then you try it and see success. Before you know it you lose 100 pounds and people want to know how.

Crossfit. Routine. Community. Hard work. Discipline. Again, why CrossFit is my thing.

So many stories that I can’t type them all. But the point is you can do CrossFit, too. No matter your shape or your size. You can start your journey and see where your path takes you.

I can’t wait to hit the five-year mark. Looking to stay injury-free and able to compete a few times a year in the sport I adore.

Get out and get moving. Try a CrossFit class. Most boxes offer a free trial of some sort. CrossFit gyms are all over the world. And a snatch is same in the US as it is in Tokyo. A jerk is also translated the same from country to country.

As I wrap up this post, I almost didn’t post it. I said “three years is no big deal.” One year was a milestone. Two years equaled consistency. Three years was what?

Three years is the sign of true commitment. Committing to me. My health. My fitness. My achievements. My longevity. I can do more now and I know I have become more youthful. As crazy as that sounds I feel vibrant and young. Heck, I even compete with people in their teens and twenties. And in some instances I can keep up. What an accomplishment that is.

Cheers to another year of CrossFit for this fittish chick!

Can you find me in this sweaty handstand sandwich?