Tag: stress

challenges

Up Too Early

2chicksandapen

3 am came too early for the girl who likes to sleep past 7 am on the daily and even later on the weekend.

What was different? A few things, but nothing serious. Tired, of course. Just unable to sleep. Maybe too much caffeine before bed? Was it a restless night? Not so much. Just a good old case of she can’t sleep. Now. Today. At all. Talk about frustrating!

Not hungry. Not thirsty. Not angry. Not unsettled. Not hyped for a trip or a meeting or a big work deal, nothing. Not a thing to weigh one down. Insomnia. Just insomnia. Toss. Turn. Peek at the clock. Take deep breaths. Count to 20. Listen to the soft sounds of doggies breathing. All so peaceful…but sleep is still miles away. Hate to see what my whoop says tomorrow or today about my overnight recovery. The yawns get heavier but still the sleep doesn’t follow. Day breaks and as predicted, the whoop insists sleep is needed! Just a confirmation of what I already knew.

Visits to dreamland are short. Then longer visits seem deeper yet disturbing content causes me to wake. Unexpected. Sleep deprived: no stormy weather just stormy sleep; a long day awaits this tired soul.

A day outdoors with the sun on her face adds to the exhaustion. Will a late afternoon nap help offset the tiredness? Would a wind down cocktail be better? Who’s to know the exact recipe to support the exhausted. Minutes in daytime seem as long as the endless minutes overnight. Hungry every couple of hours. Snapping at co-workers. Attention drifts. Not quite firing on all cylinders. Body feeling heavy. When is bedtime again?

This fiasco starts again as the new night begins. Eye masks. Extra blankets. Blankets pulled up just right. Reading for a few minutes. Nothing could soothe the soul of the tired one. Maybe it’s time to count sheep? Lullabies? 

Have you ever had a sleepless night?

awareness, challenges

My World Erupted

2chicksandapen

Shaken to the core.

Abruptly awaken.

All seemed taken.

I blinked. I sighed. I swallowed my pride.

One lonely night a medical emergency hit home. The challenges that go with this situation are taxing to say the least. This wasn’t about me, but it spiraled around me. Time spiraled to the east. Memories spiraled to the west. What if scenarios spiraled to the south. Family spiraled up north. The spirals met and formed a chaos cyclone. A circus show in my brain. Who? What? Where? When? Why? Oh my!

Amidst the chaos another lingering shit show keeps rearing its ugly head. Unfortunately, this one is a one and done meaning the gas tank is empty when it comes to help or support. No mental energy. No funds to spare. No support to give as it all falls to the wayside. The taker in life. The taker in my life. The mental strength it takes to keep the takers at bay is not for the weak. A wall of sorts is built. Carefully crafted to shield all my loved ones from the mayhem. Managing this on top of life and unplanned medical challenges is just wow. No words to really describe today. The now.

When I breathe deeply and let it settle in another blow strikes. This one is hard. Straight to the gut. Straight to the heart. Straight to the mind. All the feels. All at once. The pressure is intense. Every calming mechanism is put into play. Repeatedly.

Bend. Flex. Shift. Rebound. Reset. React. Refresh. Think. Act. Recoup. 

One would think I just played a hard core tennis match, but I didn’t. It was just life. The uncertainty of life. The unplanned chaos that can ensue without notice. Sure there are worse scenarios, but in that moment my life was in disarray. It’s seems unforgiving. Relentless forces striking at once. Repeatedly.

Life is full of wonder. Life is full of surprises. Life is full of happy, sad, ugly, fear and so much more. Life is about living and living means shit happens. When life throws the shit show your way, it’s up to you to see the perspective. Don’t crumble. Don’t let fear stand in your way. Live through the turmoil. Learn from mistakes. Find opportunities in the chaos. Fight for you. Fight for those around you.

Bend. Flex. Shift. Rebound. Reset. React. Refresh. Think. Act. Recoup.

Do it as many times as you need to. Be relentless. Be daring. 

challenges, change

Letting Go

2chicksandapen

It’s hard to let go of something or someone you have invested so much time, money, mental energy on. A job. A significant other. A sport. A car. A pet. A treasured keepsake.

Unfortunately we all have to let go of people, things or even places for one reason or another. It can be hard. It will be hard. It is hard. Time doesn’t stop but healing of sorts begins. When you let go, there is a release. A release of pain, tears, anger amongst other emotions or feelings.

I am in a letting go phase of sorts. Letting go of things I don’t control. Letting go of things that consume my mental energy. Letting go of stress. Letting go of people who suck the joy out of me. Letting go of places with not so good memories.

Letting go is part of life. Writing for me helps with the letting go process. Sometimes it’s a journal entry. Sometimes it’s a calendar note. It could even be a blog post or a book chapter. As 2022 approaches I am focusing on mindset challenges in blocks of time in which I measure my progress. Some examples are below:

100 days of fitness

50 days of meditation 

25 days of travel

25 days of positive praise

22 days of generosity 

Now I haven’t decided if I am taking up all 365 days or if I’m putting a 2022 spin on my number or if I’m choosing the number 50 as that’s how old I will be in 2022. Or maybe I will do some combination thereof.

Either way I am focusing on me. My progress. My ability to tune out the people, the places, the obstacles of life that are weighing me down or stealing my joy. I’m letting go or cleansing in 2022.

health

Stretch Goals

2chicksandapen

My body needed a good stretch.

I made an appointment to get stretched. Yes there is actually somebody you can pay to stretch your body!

It was painful at times but also refreshing at times. As I age my hips seem to tighten. Repetitive stress on certain joints can show wear over time. The stretch was a reset of sorts.

Loosening the tightness. Getting corrective movements to do at home. It’s all part of my maintenance plan. Some go to doctors for pain pills. Others opt to suffer in silence. I choose options. As many options as I can to stay fit, active and overall healthy.

Our bodies endure a lot in a day. Stress alone can settle in parts of your body and wreak havoc. Your shoulders can get tight from poor posture sitting at a computer all day. You legs can show fatigue from lack of sleep. The list goes on an on and normally reflects your lifestyle. Or the aches and pains reflect your life choices.

Any day we can be overworked. Stretching, yoga, recovery activities all play a role in overall health. Today I stretched. Something my body needed. Unfortunately it’s not a one time deal but I need to practice and build a stretch routine to continue on my stretching path. For now I am learning what my body needs. How I can help it and how to properly stretch today. I must repeat often.

As I age my stretching needs will most likely change. For now I want to keep my activity up and stretching is part of that process. Today’s post is dedicated to my stretch goal. A physical stretch goal vs. a stretch goal many may often refer to in business or life.

adventure

Up Up and Away 2.0

2chicksandapen

It’s 4am. The alarm clock buzzes. It’s not the normal hit snooze. It’s travel day. Vacation time. I spring out of bed. I’m in motion. Excitement in the air but also jitters.

Stressed to get in the car with everyone and everything. Is there traffic? How long is the line at the airport? So many unknowns but I’m on a timeline. Unneeded stress for vacation time, but it happens. Bags checked. Now security. More stress. The aroma is straight marijuana or the pungent smell associated with it. The people in the lines reek. Do those folks even know the smell is lurking? Does the old lady by me recognize the smell? I just shake my head.

Mask on. Babies crying. Chatter in different languages. The cries get louder. Workers moving the trash by me in large bins. Elderly folks getting pushed in wheelchairs. The sounds of every kind of rolling suitcase you could think of. Today I am paying attention to the different sounds wheels make. Rickety wheels. Fast wheels. An annoying beeping sound distracts me. Overhead announcements. So much distraction.

The things you observe while charging your phone in the airport. The line for Chick-fil-A is never ending. It’s not even 7am. Everyone wants their breakfast. I have nothing better to do than count people in the line. Almost 100 people in line. Would you wait? My stomach is growling but I’m not waiting. Starbucks is open as well. Their line is long, too. Maybe 40 people deep. I guess I’ll wait for my on plane snack or maybe I’ll day dream about a yummy breakfast at my destination. I heard a lady talking about a pancake flight at a local place. Sounds intriguing.

Flying is interesting. The airport has great people watching. Today is my first to fly with a Boy Scout troop. All decked out in their finest uniforms. Maybe I will sit by one to ask where they are off to.

Let the adventures begin. Time to unplug for take off. Wonder where I’m going….