Tag: lifelessons

perspective

Be Still

2chicksandapen

There I was packed in the plane like a sardine in a can. 24 rows deep. 4 across each aisle. Racked and stacked you’d say. The plane is full.

No 6 feet distanced. Lots of people. Recycled air. Masks up. Here we go. Cheers to a great flight. Up up and away we go.

As I sit still I look over my shoulder and see the peaceful sky. There we are floating in the clouds with the border of the baby blue sky. I enjoyed the peacefulness of being still. The calm. The beauty. The colors.

This is such a variance from my crazy hectic days in the office. Escapes like these with picturesque scenery help me appreciate life and all the experiences one can have as long as their eyes are open.

In that moment it took away the tears of the girl by my side feeling anxious in the sky. The mask. The extra people. The sardine-like atmosphere. Watering eyes over the mask showed the pain. Shaking of the leg showed discomfort. Grasping jewelry around her neck for comfort. How were we so close yet I felt calm and she felt fear?

If I could take it away the pain and fear I would. As we move along the calmness peeks through her fear. The discomfort was temporary thank goodness. A movie is on. A snack in hand. A little water to wash away the woes.

The other neighbor is a technology guru. Clicking on the wifi. Surfing movies. Wait, I need to sneeze. Oh my not on a plane. Yup not once, twice. We giggle in the row a little. Good thing my mask was up! My neighbor didn’t flinch on her technology. Cropping and editing photos. Music in the ears. Not even phased. I’m even learning how to make cartoon images on an iPad from the neighboring seat. It’s so fun to see how others pass time.

Meanwhile, I just keep floating in the cloud. Glancing into the horizon. Thinking about tomorrow. Visualizing the fun and adventures ahead on my little trip. Time to wrap this post up.

That was a long 15 minutes if I do say so myself. This story is real. You may be the most fearless person and boom anxiety can hit. Without warning. Surround yourself with people who know you and can see your struggles so that you can be comforted when your world is closing in on you.

For now I will be still and enjoy my trip above the clouds. My special place where I am just floating in thought as I write some blogs on this very day.

Sending you a smile and wink from the sky above. Somewhere over Jackson, Mississippi. I giggled a little as I wrote that state. M-i-squiggly lines-I-squiggly lines-i-pp-i as I recall from my childhood school days.

perspective

One Stormy Night

2chicksandapen

A rumbling sound. A light flicker. I was awake. A loud thunder. More light flashes. All seemed to get quiet but I was already startled and stirred.

I lay idle. More flashes. Flickers of lights across the back windows. One side window. The other side window. Then all on the back windows lighting up like a Christmas light show.

Rumbles that shake the house. More thunder. Now I’m wide awake. The sound of rain is constant. Now I hear the clock ticking. I hear sirens in the distance. I wonder what has happened at this wee hour.

The thunder shifts to the distance but the length of rumbling thunder and loud booms within are ever so disturbing. The sound is just blah on many levels. It’s kept me awake far too long.

I try to fall asleep but the distant flickers and thunder are preventing a full restful state. Oh how I need my sleep to rejuvenate. I wonder how many others were bothered by the storm?

As an irony, the storm is not the worst I have endured in life yet it’s doing a good job keeping me awake.

Maybe life is shaking me in other ways and the storm is just how I’m relating to life’s stormy days.
Thoughts in the dark to ponder.

friendship, mental health

I Heard the Whisper

2chicksandapen

I don’t have any friends.

Silence.

I don’t have any friends said the social teen girl. Pause. Reflect. Think.

The beautiful girl is right. She has acquaintances. She has teammates. She has adults that are supportive. She has siblings. Unfortunately she is missing the friends piece of the equation. True friends.

The bestie or group of pals that come over to hang out. The girls that go to the movies. The inner circle of sorts. What could have happened to this social butterfly.

One word sums it up: corona.

Corona has taken away spontaneous trips to the mall. Quarantine has limited gatherings at other homes. Fear has lurked in every home limiting activities. The list goes on and on.

In this community two teens have died by suicide in the last 10 days. I can’t ignore that. I can’t understand a day in the life of these teens. Their desire to end their lives is the solution to their perceived problems at that time. We have to listen to these cries even if they are masked.

So many no you can’t. So much time alone. So many milestones and memories being missed in isolation. So much time is solitude in their room. Many sleep it off. Many struggle for daily motivation.

Who does the cheerleader role fall on when parents work? What if the teen is an only child? Is the school talking about this subject with this vulnerable age?  Are they offering parents solutions? Why no they are talking about tests scores and must complete your assignments or even pick your schedule for next year.

Do administrators even consider what a day in the life of a teen is like in isolation? They lost their friends. They lost their home away from home that is school. They lost competition in the classroom. The lost giggles in the hallway. They even lost their imagery. Always covered in a mask. Gasping for air. The image of themselves in a super cute outfit on the first day of school. Shopping for a prom dress. So many important things for a girl in her formative years.

Instead they get to go to the drive thru with their parents. Maybe a Netflix movie in the same place they eat, sleep, socialize, go to school, etc. (their house). Maybe weekends of extra homework because they lack the motivation to do it on day 1 when it was due. The list of blah goes on and on.

I see this cycle repeated. I try to engage my teen to give her fulfillment in the tiny box that is currently around her. It’s by no means perfect but it’s what I can offer today.

I often wonder if she drove and had a car if it would be different. Would being mobile allow her to wave at friends from the curb but allow her time to smile away from the homestead. I don’t have these answers. I may never have them.

For today I will enjoy the time I have. Tomorrow is not guaranteed for anyone. Memories last forever. Today I will make memories with her.

Parents don’t forget to look around you. Right in front of you. Listen. Spot the abnormalities and take action. Any action that lets them notice you see them. You hear them. You want to be with them. They need you. They don’t always feel like they have anyone left. Corona has taken much from many.

Don’t let environmental conditions take away another bright future.

This post was sparked by the song Pink just released with her daughter Willow, Cover Me in Sunshine. Pink noted they sang the song because it makes them happy and they wanted to share it to make others happy. They did it together. Today I will cover those around me in sunshine for no other reason than to make them happy.

Enjoy today. No matter how shitty things may be tomorrow. Every day is a new day to get covered in sunshine.

challenges, fitness and nutrition

Finish Line

2chicksandapen

It’s about the finish line. The final climb. The painful line that I see in the distance. How far away is it? Am I even gaining on it?

The answer is yes. I’m gaining on it. One burpee at a time but these past few weeks have been brutal. Once you get to 70 burpees a day, the time commitment just seems to eat away at you.

I mean it’s not the task that’s so hard it’s just the desire to do the burpees after a workout, a workday, stress, and and and. The holidays and the break in the cycle of consistency just got to me.

Also the fact that my programming changed at my gym for 1/1/21 in which it seems there were 40+ burpees in each workout. That leads to lack of motivation. Geez I think I’ll add another 70 on top of those 40 but then it takes your desire to a whole different level of no thanks.

Then if you miss a day, the catch up phase is relentless. For me I tried chipping away. 5-10 at a time. Then I tried bigger chunks just until I could check off another day. I didn’t care if my days were in order. I just want to get to the damn finish line.

Here we are with two weeks left but with my holiday lazy days and mental break it looks like I will be pushing over that set time. I will get over 5,000 burpees no problem. I will just stretch the days to slightly over 100. It’s not ideal but it’s what’s going to work for me. I’m not quitting just just delaying my finish a bit. Similar to tying your shoe on race day.

Keeping in mind if I add up those extra in workout burpees I am adding another 710 as of today. So if I look at the initial 100 days of burpees I can say I met my goal however I want to be sure that I complete the 100 days of burpees independent of any programmed in my workout. Yes I’m a little nuts but that’s what I’m doing.

Just about 6,000 burpees will be under my belt from late Oct 20-late Jan 21. 100 days or so towards being a fitter version of me. A daunting task. A personal best. A sigh of relief.

Today I did make a big flub up! I actually added up how many burpees I had left instead of days. That wasn’t a good idea. When you add up the 90-100 days that’s over 1,000 burpees. What in the heck. I guess it randomly just hit me. Now it’s a mental game. I think I can. I think I can.

And as I was wrapping up the blog my new gym programming included 100 burpees to a plate on Saturday. What kind of sick twisted form of cruelty this is. Of course I can’t count any of them so they will just make me slide over that damn 6,000 mark. That is insane! But yes I am not counting on workout burpees.  

Here we go again. A new burpee version in our wod to focus on singling out a muscle group with a special jump. Just what need now at the finish line. More burpee specific work (joking). Also we are down to just me and another faithful pal on the last group of burpees. She pulled ahead. Another friend dropped and I’m just stalled. I do a few here and there but not enough to wipe 91 off the checklist. So the ending is a long one.  

i guess my symptoms are lingering just like covid. I will diagnose myself with burpeeitis. The only cure is hard work. The only person who can cure it is me. Off I go to the hamster wheel of burpees. My job is done for now. Onto the next fitness project to keep me grinding. Just say no to burpees!

challenges

The Stir At Night

2chicksandapen

At night many of us can be restless when we lay our head down on the pillow for a good night’s sleep. I am not alone in this area.

Generally speaking I sleep great. However there are times that worry or stress can give me a stir at night. A stir can take on different meanings at different times due to life variables.
The stir can be defined as a jolted awakening from a dream state in which what I was thinking about happened. Nothing actually happened but my mind was playing out the scenario for good or bad.

The stir could be what’s on the to do list. The deadlines that are hard and fast and non- forgiving. Will I make it? Have you ever crammed for a school or work deadline and deprived yourself of sleep?

The stir could be every 15 minutes or so for that alarm you don’t want to miss. The very important event or meeting or plane ride. This lack of sleep may even be the actual factor for you don’t wake up in time! Who’s been guilty of staying up all night to avoid this? Who’s actually fallen back asleep and missed out because of that worry?

The stir could be worry for a loved one. A parent. A child. A friend in despair. A health scare. Financial worries. So many scenarios. So little sleep. How many nights in a row can one endure?

The stir could be your next vacation. The excitement. The ready to go but the time hasn’t arrived yet. This is similar to the start of a new job. A new place to live. Maybe even the birth of a child.

If one doesn’t get the proper rest, the days ahead are impacted: one can be irritated easily. One can make poor decisions. One can isolate themselves to protect others from their bad vibes. The rippling effect from sleep deprivation is pretty long.

For purposes of this post I’ll write I hate with a passion when my sleep is disrupted for stupid things. When my mind races on people who just don’t matter in my life. Insignificant people as these are people lurking in the distance not even in your circle. The ones who try to sabotage your happiness for their own advancement. Not even close enough to matter yet the ones that want to throw the biggest stones at you with the biggest intent to harm you. 

With 2020 in the rear view and people rising from the pandemic ashes you would think people in general would just be content and happy. Unfortunately life isn’t that way. Too many people who feel entitled. Too many miserable people who watch to snatch happiness from others.

Tonight I lost sleep. This post is dedicated solely to the one asshole that try to invade my precious mind space. My precious sleep. My privacy. Although he interrupted my sleep he didn’t prevail. For today is Sunday. A day of rest for me. A day of naps if needed. A little yoga to release the tension in my mind. My happiness is not up for sale nor up for the taking.  

I let the asshole in for a minute when I was tired. Now I’m wide awake. Buckled in for the badass ride that’s on the horizon. I love dirt roads. Bumpy roads are fun too. Add a little rain or a little sunshine I’m game for the weather changes just like I’m ready to play chess or go to battle for myself.  

We are all capable of controlling negativity that enters our life. A dark cloud lingering can be a stir in the night. For some that stir in the night spills over to the next day. Find your sunshine. Don’t let the negative people or scenarios burden you. Train your brain to see life in a positive light. It’s possible. Just shake it off when something gets in your head for that moment. That’s what I did. I said get the f$&k out.