Tag: life

health

Who’s Got Time for Sick Days?

2chicksandapen

It’s the final days of December which means 1099s, W2s and a million other time-sensitive duties for a roll-your-sleeves-up kinda girl boss who gets shit done daily. All of which causes friction with overlapping sports and holiday break time for the teen. Chaos ensues around scheduling on the home front. Add in a new puppy with training needs and you get a full plate. A very full plate that requires careful planning and execution daily.

That means every minute, every hour and every day is pretty much scheduled, leaving no down time. Enter the flu and strep going around your community and the feeling of “oh no, I’m gonna get sick” eating away at your mind!

Weather changes from below freezing one week to 70 degrees the next. Cold mornings, warm afternoons, and then bone-chilling cold when the sun drops. All perfect backdrops for getting sick. Boy, I sure don’t have time for a set back like being sick.

Getting sick means changing my routine. Missing the gym in the morning or not eating perfectly. When sickness hits so does a case of crankiness, and nobody likes a cranky person around them!

I managed to survive strep thanks to a shot in the buttocks and some antibiotics. I then dodged the flu bullet for now despite a few close to me getting sick.

Packing up the holiday decorations. Restocking the pantry and fridge with healthy eats that are macro-friendly. Getting my goals set for 2020, this year being a big year for many reasons. ‘Tis the season to not be sneezing because there is just to much to be done personally and professionally. Can you relate?

I didn’t even add in the fact that during the holidays you spend extra time with family that can in some ways cause a different kind of stress. Time to get my mind right to tackle 2020 with vim and vigor.

It was not at all fun playing catch up during such a critical time of the year. Let this be a lesson learned to everyone that self-care is very important. Keeping a routine schedule of sleep, healthy eating, good hydration and physical fitness can be a great first defense against the flu as that time of year approaches when germs are airborne. A good winter coat for the climate you are in is a good second defense, along with some vitamin C. And for you clean freaks, don’t forget Clorox wipes, hand sanitizer, and good old Lysol.

On a side note, I am a big baby and could have had it a whole lot worse this winter but I will plan better next time. Maybe only travel to warm climates in the winter and maybe schedule some days off to have a cushion for the crazy January brings each year. Days off is self-care, right?

On the business side it was a record-breaking year amidst the chaos. I guess it’s true I thrive under pressure. Nasal pressure or board room pressure? I guess it’s all the same. Girl bossin’ and hustlin’ 2020 away.

perspective

Just Call Me Clueless!

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It was a Saturday, many months ago. I was out for a casual lunch with two of my bestie girls at a swanky new restaurant. Giggling up a storm and chit-chatting away. Not a care in the world. Conscious of my surroundings but not intrigued by anything beyond my bench table of three, myself included.

Then it happened. Two random ladies pop over to the table and say “hey, don’t I know you?” Hmm, I don’t think so…

As a social person, I entertain the dialogue. Fast forward to a few casual pick-up lines. A few invasive personal questions. Something about can I have your phone number. What just happened?

Yes people, I was picked up by two women while having lunch with my two married friends while I sat in my semi-private booth at a restaurant!

In shock I am. Why me? Do I have a stamp on my forehead that says available? I wasn’t dressed fancy. I had no makeup on and literally just got done spending time at a park thus I didn’t even have a fresh scent on me. Just basically what I would refer to as a hot mess.

I was clueless. I wasn’t in a bar. I wasn’t acting flirtatious. I was just clueless overall. My friends were on top of it though. I guess I didn’t catch their eye glances or gritting of teeth from across the table. I was speechless. Would you know if another female hit on you? How about two?

Just putting this question out there. I wasn’t anticipating this scenario and am now turned off by the restaurant and seem guarded in general with people. I haven’t been back since the encounter. And clearly I wrote about this scenario so it weighed on my mind.

I shouldn’t feel this way but I do. I’ve sat on this post for many months. As the new year approaches, I said now or never. I’m going to post this awkward encounter to see if I get any feedback.

Life is full of adventures and unexpected encounters. This scenario falls under unexpected but also makes me wonder on many levels.

Have you had any unexpected encounters or pick-up attempts that caught you off-guard?

For now I will always wonder about the why of this situation. Why me? Why that restaurant? Why, oh why?

Happy New Year to all. May your 2020 be as amazing as you dream it should be.

perspective

Never Say Never

2chicksandapen

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“I’ve eaten the same thing for lunch every day at work for the last eighteen months,” I told her.

“You mean you eat one thing for a week, then switch to something else?”

“No, I’ve eaten the same thing every single day, week after week after week, 99 percent of the time.”

“Oh, I could NEVER do that!” she responded, in a mix of disbelief and exasperation.

Hm.

Well, I thought, this is a person who appears to be healthy and fit.  Maybe she can eat different things all the time and maintain her health.  Maybe she doesn’t struggle with using food as entertainment / food as comforter / food as problem solver like I do.  If not, good for her.  For me, what has worked with sorting out my nutrition is basically monotony.

I figured out what seems to work and for the most part I stick with it.  Fat-free higher-protein yogurt and coffee with measured creamer for breakfast, chicken Mike Nuggets and protein chips for lunch with lots of infused water. A handful of beef jerky if I am really hungry between meals.  Dinner has a little more flexibility but I prep protein each weekend and choose from there.  If I keep to this all week and don’t go insane over the weekend, my energy, my strength, and the scale number tend to stay in the range where I feel good.  What works for me won’t work for everyone.  Maybe it won’t work for anyone else at all, and that’s fine.  Not a big revelation there, really.

But, what really stayed with me was the word NEVER.

I could NEVER do that.

What would I say I could NEVER do?

There are the nevers I just don’t like.  For example, I could never eat shrimp for breakfast.  I could never own an orange car.  I could never be a school bus driver.  Never is really too strong for all of these…If I had to do any of these things, I would.  But I’d really *really* rather not.  Maybe this is the type of never my friend was mentioning when it comes to my monotonous lunches.

But then I also think about other nevers I have said in the past.  I could *never* do CrossFit.  I could *never* run a half-marathon.  I could *never* weigh under 200 pounds again. All of these nevers have now gone from to-do to ta-da! All of them took effort.  All of them took facing fears.  All of them took questioning myself and the limits I place on me.  These are not just preferences.  They are self-doubts.  Limits.  Roadblocks by choice.

Some of these once-upon-a-time nevers have become among my proudest accomplishments.

As George Addair said, “Everything you’ve ever wanted is on the other side of fear.”

As I think about my goals for 2020, I’m listening for the nevers in my self-talk.  Are my nevers “I don’t wannas?” Are they “I’m scared to try”?  Are they “I’m scared to fail”?  And if they are fears, maybe that’s a sign I need to put them toward the top of my to-do list?

What are your nevers?  And what are they holding you back from?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

perspective

Giving is Not the Same as Expecting

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There are so many givers in this world. Those who give their time to others. Those who give care to those in need. Those who offer love and hope to others. The list could go on and on. If you fall into the giver category, thank you. The world needs more of you.

Giving isn’t always a gift that is tangible. One can give love. One can give inspiration. One can give a shoulder to lean on. One can give hope. Whatever one gives, it is a choice. A desire to serve others in some way.

Life isn’t fair. I can’t catch a break. Poor me. If you fall into this category, suck it up. Find resources to help you get over the hump you are in. Start to pay your way little by little. Set a budget and work hard for what you need / want. Do not expect others to do for you and don’t be a mooch. Not much in life is free these days and if you take advantage of kindness in any form you will soon find yourself abandoned and alone. Eventually the givers lose interest in takers.

Expecting is different. Expecting mom and dad to pay for a cell phone until the you turn 30. Expecting the latest and greatest iPhone vs the one that works fine but is a model year behind the latest release. Expecting a brand new car as a teen. Expecting to have access to unlimited funds when one is capable of working. Expecting a car or car service to promote your independence without any contributions to gas. These are just some common teenage / young adult expectations I see over and over.

Expecting is annoying to say the least. One should never expect anything. One should expect to put forth work or effort to earn things that matter. There is definitely a benefit to learning this early on in life. If your teen expects things on the home front, they turn into employees that expect things. They turn into spouses who contribute less. They turn into lazy adults.

As I wrote this, I could feel the negative vibe in the post. For those of you who may follow my writing you may know that I am not the Negative Nelly type of writer. However, when the giver and taker scenarios arrive in my real world, I can be frustrated.

The same level of frustration appears when I see entitlement. Scenarios could include my own children acting entitled or it could be just the world around me. It could be an employee feeling entitled to a raise despite minimal efforts on their part. It could be a vendor feeling entitled to contract or a loved one feeling entitled to something. Even the customer who feels entitled to a discount for reasons that would put you below your operational costs.

In life we should think fair and consistent. Is this scenario fair for all parties? Are my actions consistent with my behaviors? Am I doing the right thing?

Earn your keep. Earn your value. In today’s competitive world you need to see what sets you apart from others and springboard off of those strengths. Nobody ever gets anywhere riding the coattails of others.

Make giving part of your motto in 2020 and see how life favors you. Remember giving is free on most accounts. You just may need to get creative.

January can be give smiles month.
February may be give compliments month.
March may be give time month.
April may be give your listening ear month.

With the above samples in hand, you can get creative and find what works for your lifestyle. I do promise you that if you adapt giving into your life you will receive far more in return. I’m not promising money, fame or fortune. I am promising a refreshed look at the world if you give a little.

coaching

Life as a Coach

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Being a coach is an amazing opportunity to impact others. A life coach. A sports coach. A business coach. They all have their own opportunities to impact others.

I have had the luxury of coaching kids in varying age groups and sports, staff members, and those who need life management support or motivation. No matter what coaching project I am working on, I love about 98% of the process.

I enjoying winning games, but I like losing as well. Teaching others how to recover from a loss can be a challenge, but it’s life. We will never win everything in life so losing is a valuable tool for kids and adults to learn or relearn.

I enjoying coaching people personally and professionally. I love seeing them hit goals, make strides with confidence and succeed at what they are working toward achieving. Coaching provides me with as much new inspiration as I expect the folks receive under my coaching programs.

What’s the 2% I don’t like?

It boils down to those that are classified as uncoachable. It could be a team member at work who can’t see their own flaws and refuses to make adjustments to foster team or individual growth. It could be the player who doesn’t respect the coach’s authority. Or my favorite is those who think they can do the coaching from the sidelines. It could be a parent coaching from the sideline at a game. It could be the parent jockeying for play time for their amazing child prior to a game. It could even be your colleague at work who is coaching you in a false direction for their own personal gain. Or maybe your boss is coaching you downward by devaluing your efforts and contributions. This one gets me all the time but it happens!

The two percent is never my favorite but it will never dictate my actions. As a coach I am expected to lead. Lead by example. Lead with integrity. Lead with confidence. I don’t second guess my coaching ever. That doesn’t mean I have never been questioned either. It just means I am confident in what I do and the end results.

Many may want to coach but few will actually commit the time, the preparation and the consistency required to coach long-term. Coaching at the youth level is normally an unpaid gig. With that being said, the adults who bring kids to games and practice seem to think they are in the big leagues. That is an irony for sure.

When I say big leagues people start looking for college scholarships at about 6th grade. This is insane as most 6th graders are trying to remember to brush their teeth before school, not think about where they want to go for college. In addition, a lot can happen from 6th grade to 12th. In sports for example, injury or burn out is possible. This pressuring at a young age should be cautioned.

Then you shift to the workplace. Coaching should be a daily occurrence but many managers lack the ability to coach, give guidance and support their counterparts. This doesn’t normally end well. Lack of time. Lack of experience. Inability to see others needs. All are reasons I hear why coaching is lacking in business.

In a workplace, most employees crave feedback. Most want kudos for good work but some actually want to know how they can improve. In a healthy work environment you see strong leaders with tenured staff when feedback is prominent.

On the flip side, gossipy workplaces and poor production can occur when communication is weak and praise is limited. This often happens in smaller workplaces with limited human resources. These are the toughest coaching scenarios for me to take on and results are not always guaranteed.

My favorite coaching happens at the volunteer level with youth in my community. I have a pure opportunity to impact the lives of tomorrow’s leaders. I have watched elementary students turn into middle school leaders. I have watched middle school athletes turn into college recruits. I have seen high schoolers turn into coaches. The list goes on and my cup runs over with pride.

My next favorite group is young adults. The 18-26 age range. The know-it-all’s to the I-am-beginning-to-adult group. I have many that fall into this category. Some have turned into entrepreneurs while others are in leadership roles under a firm. This group is inspiring in a whole different way. I get to see them evolve in today’s world which is so very different than when I was their age. The growth that occurs here is fast and extremely fun to watch.

The adults. This is the group that can be complicated. Life wears you down and I help pick up the pieces. So many end up in different stages. This is the most challenging yet exciting to conquer. We are all set in our ways. We can have bad habits. We can lack structure and drive. We can be impacted by negative thoughts or online posts. When I coach I have to find out how each person ticks to customize a solution to suit their needs.

It’s a life puzzle. I love to solve puzzles and that’s why I choose to coach. If you know anyone looking for a personal guide, virtually or in-person, send them my way. Custom coaching options fit into any lifestyle and budget.

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