Tag: connection

adventure, friendship

The Gift

2chicksandapen

I was gifted a little tiny pig about a month ago. Why? No particular reason, but I felt an immediate connection to the tiny figure. Maybe it was because my son gave it to me. Maybe it was the uniqueness of it. Maybe it was just what I needed to spark my creativity. Cute enough to fit in my pocket. Flirty enough to take on adventures. Off we went.

We spent time out west posing and sharing our adventures via Snapchat with a group of friends. It became a game of sorts. Free entertainment. How could I outdo the last photo or snap? Where else could my pig go? We posed for holiday photos with Santa. We make snarky workplace comments only a pig could get away with. We had a good time.

My pig made it to a national park. My pig visited an animal sanctuary. My pig flew on a plane. My pig traveled to multiple states. My pig has done some funny stuff. My pig even played hide-n-seek virtually. Teens and adults were eager for the next move. I decided to share the wealth or fun. I ordered up a variety of small figurines from Amazon to gift. 

I then put them in holiday cards with instructions to live your best life with your new buddy in 2024. It’s been awesome so far! 

I get messages of coffee with friends. I get snaps about work frustrations. I get destination photos. Milestone photos. Down right funny photos. My last one being a car rave with techno music with my pig and a few new companions.

A simple idea. A simple share. 

Silly as it sounds, I spread smiles. I made a difference. I used my creativity to spark a giggle. To get others to tap into that part of their brain even if they are having a crappy day. We now have a virtual connection that stimulates many near and far.

Just a little fun for you on this Friday. Have you ever given a random gift with no expectation in return? Give it a try. It’s super fun.

Maybe you will catch a glimpse of my miniature friends that will be floating around the internet. I believe we have:

A pig of course.

A turtle out on expeditions.

A sheep having coffee and folding laundry or maybe it’s climbing a mountain.

A cat prancing around the office causing havoc.

A pink flamingo doing flashy stuff.

A duck planning a wedding.

A lady bug being good luck to a cancer patient.

A dog being the best pet for a girl who can’t have a real dog.

And many more are just beginning their journeys. Maybe I’ll give an update later in the year. For now know that my companion hangs out in my little Lululemon shoulder bag waiting for the right photo opportunity to appear. She is going to take an international trip in 2024 and she is going to run a few miles in unique destinations. Yes she is a she. A diva. Of course she has to be as she travels with me. My little pal seems to be an adventure buddy while others may have an emotional connection or a cooking partner. Whatever it means it’s hilarious to me.

2024 is going to be be a blast for me and my piggie! Can you spot the pig below?

mental health, perspective

Just 11 Days

2chicksandapen

It was the wee hours of the morning. 4:00 am to be exact. The loneliness set in. My partner in crime was whisked away yet again for 11 days. These days seem manageable in isolation yet in combination lies the challenge. 

The void that lingers. 11 days. 22 days. 33 days. When a year passes and you miss far more days than you have the sadness sets in. How much was missed? How much made the cut? Was it enough? Some weeks it’s a Monday that you feel the toll in life hit. Other weeks the sleepless worry hits on Tuesday. Sometimes it hits more than one day. It’s a vicious cycle.

Sometimes life puts obstacles or signals in your path to test your strength: to test your resilience. Sometimes these barriers seem impossible yet we find a way to push onward. I’m in the midst of reading the latest royal book, Spare. It’s odd to think about the word spare in the context of the book. A spare child. A spare heir. A spare to discard. No matter how many pages deep I am in the book, I will be forever held up by the word spare.

My life doesn’t have spares. I don’t have spare kids. I don’t have spare friends. I don’t have spare time with either. I don’t spare any part of my life. That means the time I miss can’t be spared at all. Oh the quandary of that latter statement.

How do you count time when you can’t spare time? You don’t. You wander through empty space as if time wasn’t associated. A wading of sorts. You are there but not really there. The shell of you is present but the mind space has drifted somewhat to a space in time that is all-inclusive of your special people. Drifting or wading through memories of past and memories to come in the future.

The book speaks to losing a mum. I have a mum. A mummy. A mommy. I certainly don’t have a spare mommy and I am certainly not a spare to my kids. Rather I’m present just like my mom. No matter the challenge I’m there. No matter the challenge she is there. But one day will Mommy always be there? The sad reality is no. For now I won’t spare my time as mummy or with mummy for it is valued. For those of you who don’t have that opportunity with your mum, my heart hurts for you.

With grief many occupy head space with memories of those lost but not forgotten. Sometimes that includes a mom. I reflect on this as a mom I know lost her battle with cancer this week. Her time wasn’t spared. 

Many include the missing in future plans honoring their memories. Holding on to the happy times together. I do this often. My nephew. My dad. My good friends. Those gone too soon due to death, but there are others who leave for other reasons. Maybe a big move to a new city. Maybe an experience of a lifetime overseas. Maybe even a work obligation causing one to live elsewhere temporarily. Time away. A void that may never be replaced.

I may lose 11 days today. 22 days the next cycle or 33 the next round. What makes this particular trek difficult is the unknown. How long does time sit in this stage. Does it continue for infinity as it does with one who dies? Does it keep looping in terms of days or weeks as it does now? I can’t stay lost in the empty space of consciousness. I must shift.

As 2023 rounded the corner I shifted from the dullness of being lonely to a new mindset of lonely. One that isn’t perfectly designed as I’m in it. I’m just more aware. I’m conscious within the subconscious. I’m trucking through new obstacles in a different way. I’m not sparing time as time can’t be spared. People can’t be spared. Those important will never be spare at all. I’m valuing the front and center and focusing less on the loss(es). 

None of us can reverse time. None of us can spare or bank time. Every week I will be present in my own little ways. Avoiding spare time. Spare people. Forging ahead on borrowed time. If there is such a thing.

Uncategorized

5 am Bagel

2chicksandapen

I’m heading over to your house now he texted. It’s 5 am, nobody is awake I said. But you have bagels and I don’t he exclaimed. 5 minutes later the dogs are barking, the toaster is toasting and bodies are in motion. It’s still dark, it’s still not past 6 am. No school today. A day off work. Why oh why and am I awake?

Time to take the dogs out for the morning when they were perfectly content sleeping in. These little pups have no clue why they were jostled but they go with the flow. They bend and flex. They are loyal to the core whether it’s 5 am or 5 pm. We should model a dog’s resilience and adaptability more times than not.

Days like the one above may seem annoying in the moment, but today it seems like just what the doctor ordered. Nobody really likes a quiet house. They like a lived in house. That means people, laughing, chaos, and so on. This morning was a good example of such.

When I think back to my younger days I had siblings around most days but as the youngest those days thinned out. Less people. Less laughter. Less chaos. I never really thought about those days from my mom’s view until I myself had the shift in my own life.

Days dwindle. The kids go off on their own. College. Marriage. The teen who is always out engrossed in activities. Sometimes it’s just me and the dogs. Idle minds wander. As I reflect on the random visits for laundry, the 5 am pit stop for a bagel, the hi, what’s for dinner tonight randomness is part of what makes a house a home. Unpredictable times.

The family. The community. The chaos. One day this will be gone In the blink of an eye. However, we can all appreciate a reminder to live in today. Appreciate what is front of you. Even if it’s 5 am, the connection of people or sense of community is really what it’s about.

On a recent trip, I was the 6am girl. Are you making coffee I said to my neighbor. She replied yes. Can I come over? She replied yes. I enjoyed my early morning community. I think she did too but was she thinking omg why are you calling me at 6am? I don’t know. I didn’t even think about it then. 5 am, 6 am, 7 am are just time stamps. Open yourself up to the unexpected. Foster community with whomever needs it. You never know when opportunities like this will fade. Seize the moment. Make the coffee. Enjoy the memories.

As I go through phases in life, I see the same things differently. Some days I’m appreciative. Some days I’m annoyed or frustrated. A lot of days I’m tired and overwhelmed. However days like today? I’m thankful that I have life in front of me. As chaotic as some days get, I wouldn’t want it any other way.

I’m not homeless, but many are. I’m not jobless, but some are. I’m not hungry, but some are. Today I shift a little from my normal routine to spoil some around me. Spend time with cherished family members. Live in today, because I can. I’m making that choice. I’m taking that time. There is a spontaneous part of life that we can easily miss with so many have tos on our plate. 

I can’t ever get time back thus I must use my time wisely. 24 hours each day. You choose the path. Work? Family? Friends? Memories? Fitness? The beauty of today’s time is all mine. How I choose to share my hours and minutes is all on me. I plan to make spontaneous choices at random intervals over this year to ensure I am staying true to opportunities even if they appear at 5am.

fitness and nutrition

The Streak Ends

2chicksandapen

If you’ve read this blog for a bit, you know I love streaks. I’m on streaks with some of my snapchat friends. But the big one for me was closing my move ring on my Apple Watch each day.

First, I wanted to make it to 365 days. Done. Then, I wanted to stretch it to two full years. Recently, I hit that goal. I was trucking along toward my next goal, 1000 straight days, when it finally happened. My watch broke. My luck finally ran out.

My battery on my watch had started to fade. I had to charge it midday. One day I was charging it in my car as I was driving. I had to hop out of the car and my watch hit the ground. The cracks started showing, and a few days later pieces started to chip off. Once I got it wet it was dead. On day 771, my streak ended.

It took a few days to get a new watch. I was surprisingly not all that upset about waiting, or even losing my streak. I took a few days to just think about gratitude. I was grateful that I didn’t lose my streak due to illness or injury…considering that my streak started just as COVID-19 hit the US, that streak took on new meaning. I was grateful that I didn’t lose it due to lack of effort or motivation. I was grateful that the technology gave out before my will did.

I did miss quite a few things about it…I missed looking at my heart rate during workouts. Many of our workouts at our CrossFit gym tell us a percentage of effort we should be putting out. These match up with heart rate info for me. For example, if I am supposed to be giving out 70% percent effort, I’d expect my heart rate to be around 125. I looked at my wrist many times only to find my watch tan line. I also missed seeing my calorie totals as they went up throughout the day. Funny how technology shapes our behavior. Oh yeah, and I missed knowing the time.

Really I also missed the connections to my other fitness friends that I have on my watch. I love to give friends a virtual high five through a watch comment. I just get a kick out of them…some friends get sarcastic ones, some get cheerful ones. Regardless, it makes me feel connected and happy to encourage people when they are working on their health. And I like the little cheers I get in return.

So I got my new watch just after Mother’s Day. I didn’t miss any days of workouts or movement when I didn’t have the watch, but the counter starts over regardless. So, it’s back to day 1 for me. 999 to go.

awareness, challenges

My World Erupted

2chicksandapen

Shaken to the core.

Abruptly awaken.

All seemed taken.

I blinked. I sighed. I swallowed my pride.

One lonely night a medical emergency hit home. The challenges that go with this situation are taxing to say the least. This wasn’t about me, but it spiraled around me. Time spiraled to the east. Memories spiraled to the west. What if scenarios spiraled to the south. Family spiraled up north. The spirals met and formed a chaos cyclone. A circus show in my brain. Who? What? Where? When? Why? Oh my!

Amidst the chaos another lingering shit show keeps rearing its ugly head. Unfortunately, this one is a one and done meaning the gas tank is empty when it comes to help or support. No mental energy. No funds to spare. No support to give as it all falls to the wayside. The taker in life. The taker in my life. The mental strength it takes to keep the takers at bay is not for the weak. A wall of sorts is built. Carefully crafted to shield all my loved ones from the mayhem. Managing this on top of life and unplanned medical challenges is just wow. No words to really describe today. The now.

When I breathe deeply and let it settle in another blow strikes. This one is hard. Straight to the gut. Straight to the heart. Straight to the mind. All the feels. All at once. The pressure is intense. Every calming mechanism is put into play. Repeatedly.

Bend. Flex. Shift. Rebound. Reset. React. Refresh. Think. Act. Recoup. 

One would think I just played a hard core tennis match, but I didn’t. It was just life. The uncertainty of life. The unplanned chaos that can ensue without notice. Sure there are worse scenarios, but in that moment my life was in disarray. It’s seems unforgiving. Relentless forces striking at once. Repeatedly.

Life is full of wonder. Life is full of surprises. Life is full of happy, sad, ugly, fear and so much more. Life is about living and living means shit happens. When life throws the shit show your way, it’s up to you to see the perspective. Don’t crumble. Don’t let fear stand in your way. Live through the turmoil. Learn from mistakes. Find opportunities in the chaos. Fight for you. Fight for those around you.

Bend. Flex. Shift. Rebound. Reset. React. Refresh. Think. Act. Recoup.

Do it as many times as you need to. Be relentless. Be daring.