dare to be different, Teddie Aspen

Crotchless!

This is definitely a post for the record books. It’s no secret I rise in the dark and wee hours of the morning to get my fitness on before most even think of waking.

I normally dress in the dark and move about in a quiet but fast pace to not startle others. On most days that doesn’t work but the effort is there.

I have had my share of friends who put their shorts on backwards or inside out sometimes and they have done it more than once.  We giggle. We move on. I have admittedly put my shorts and bras on inside out but always corrected it because you could feel the difference.

Then today happened. A story like no other. I did my usual morning routine and arrived at the gym. I scurried into the gym in the dark and said hello to a female friend on the way in. Put my keys and phone in the bin and jetted to the girls room. Took care of business and looked down in complete and utter surprise. An oh shit moment of how in the hell did this happen. What am I going to do and send help please but no phone was with me!

I hear the rumble in the next stall of toilet paper being jostled. Who is it? Do I know them? Who cares! I shout who’s there? The reply was who do you think is here? OMG no time for games, it’s Kim. Thank you Jesus an ally. A trusted friend. Don’t come out yet I have a wardrobe malfunction I said. Ummm, okay she replied. What kind of problem? I don’t know let me assess the magnitude. Oh it’s bad. Thank God nobody saw this when I walked in. Or did they?

My dog ate my pants. She specifically and mindfully crafted a crotchless pair of Nike pros! Yes I wrote a crotchless pair of shorts. Not on the seams like a normal rip she actually chewed around in a methodical fashion. See below for proof:

I have no clue how I didn’t notice before I left, on my drive but I am ever so thankful I had to use the restroom before class since today was squat day. Disaster averted or kind of. Now that my class mates think I legit shit myself and had to leave class. If you think I’m joking see below:

Or if the shit yourself comment wasn’t bad enough I got one about Aunt Flo coming for a visit. Sigh, big sigh, deep breath. Now that my morning has been an absolute cluster fuck I should note the following. My little princess of a bitch dog is mad at me. I threw away her favorite frisbee yesterday because she ate it. It was supposed to be indestructible but clearly it wasn’t and neither was my Nike pro shorts that I happened to like a lot. So I will leave you some cute pictures of my dog but confirmation of her devilish side.

Life lessons learned today. Put your fresh laundry away even when your dog wants to lay on your clothes at bed time. Check your drawers before you leave the house and make sure you have panties on so you don’t flash the world your you-know-what accidentally. Take a few extra minutes and wake the house up to avoid utter humiliation.

I will be forever explaining this in the weeks to come. No, I didn’t shit my pants. I had a wardrobe malfunction. My dog ate my shorts. Enough said! Thank you Teddie. I know you can be sweet like the picture below but also evil when you want to be.

dare to be different, fitness and nutrition

Competition

As of yesterday I was anti-competition as in I didn’t want to sign up for anything competitive in 2020 because so much disappointment had been in my rear view this year.

No 10k in November (postponed from July). No mud run in October. No Triathlon in July. No Wonder Woman run in May, had to do virtual instead. Just a bunch of blah in 2020 and I didn’t want to waste money on events that were not going to happen and and and.

The above picture was supposed to have a Nashville backdrop and a fun girls trip but instead we went virtual. We were distanced. No crowds cheering. No hydration stations. Just overall boring.

That’s why I was stomping my feet and pouting. I had told myself it just wasn’t worth it and I could revisit in 2021 my competition goals. Tick tock the clock won’t stop. It’s September and a comp is being hosted at a local CrossFit box. Still not doing it. I don’t like one of the movements so it’s easy to say nope not doing it.

It’s the Monday of the event. My body feels good. My mind feels good. What the heck let me find a partner. I can still make the end of the year one to remember. Let’s do this. Good thing I have crazy friends who won’t turn down a bad idea on short notice! 

Here we are cramming for the event Saturday. It’s all for fun but we are also competitive in nature, well that is for our age. We should be Masters but this comp doesn’t have a Masters division so we battle for reps with the kiddos. From teens to twenties to thirties and then there is us. The oldies but goodies. The Masters. The 45 years and beyond. The achy body group. The full time workers. How will we do? Only time will tell. Until Saturday, we will be grinding it out waiting for our chance to hit the podium or die trying!

Once an athlete always an athlete. Wish us luck!

perspective

Cranky Pants

This chick is cranky and opinionated! At least I admit it and at least I am comfortable publishing my cranky, emotional and somewhat opinionated stories and rants. Knowing full well said stories are read worldwide….a fun fact I am super proud of.

Fun fact: this past month our readership skyrocketed. Not sure why but it did. Cheers to all you newbies out there reading along. We adore you from afar.

This post is also not about something current in my life that should make you wonder if you know me and are reading this. I wrote this a while ago and just opted to publish it now. A blast from the past so to speak, However it rings true when I hear or experience life through my lens and thus I figure it was time to share my thoughts.

I am at a loss at society today. One can look at the craziness on the news and see all the horror the world has to offer. But I am in control of what I watch and what I am exposed to as an adult. And for that reason alone I rarely watch the news it’s just too depressing.

As a parent sometimes you just open an email from school only to see how vile people are. Offering your kids drugs at school, writing death threats on the bathroom wall or even worse. Times are changing and bad news travels faster than the speed of light thanks to the internet.

The yellow school bus kids ride isn’t even a sanctuary anymore. Bullying and isolating happens on the daily to those who are different. I often shake my head and think who raises their kid to be ugly to others? It’s unfortunate as our kids still have developing brains and don’t have the foresight needed to tune out the negative vibes like we can as adults. It’s just awful to watch in some instances.

I choose to focus on the positives in life. A few positives: I have my good health, my good friends and an amazing family. I have a nice roof over my head, a reliable vehicle to drive and I am fortunate to be active in the community. I volunteer when I can and I make a concerted effort to impact others each week in a positive manner.

So what could possibly make me cranky? Life makes me cranky. All the takers in life weigh on me daily. Takers are near and far. Takers are people or entities who want to take things away from you that you work so hard for.

Takers sometimes come disguised as friends but I say frienemies. The friends you tolerate that you don’t trust as far as you can throw them. The ones who are nice to your face but then throw you under a bus the first chance they can to elevate their personal image. I’m sure everyone has at least one in their life.

Or maybe it is your boss at the office who tells you to your face that you are the best thing since sliced bread then turns and tells your coworkers how incompetent you are. Maybe it’s a friend of the family or neighbor who pretends they are supporting you but then sweep in and snag your valuables. Valuables can be defined differently for each situation. And then there is the big taker, The corporate greed monster. The big fish in the little sea. That entity who likes to sue people with limited resources to take out the competition. Or maybe it’s a strategy the big company has thinking your firm doesn’t have the capital to defend a frivolous lawsuit. Or maybe that big company thinks they can bully you with the threat of a lawsuit. The last scenario is just like the school bus bully but the kid grew up. He is still just a bully. Different disguise but still a bully.

The list goes on and on but the moral of the story is life is tough. Whatever your battle you must find your sunshine and let it light the way to new beginnings. Learning this simple life lesson in your early and formative years with help you navigate the adult world that is harsh and full of takers waiting to prey on you whenever one sees a moment of vulnerability.

Ignore those in today’s society who judge you for having a mask on or off. For those who roll their eyes when you say you want to enjoy the fresh air outside. For those who are so wrapped up in corona that they want to bully others online or in person. Just mute them!

This is yet another post from the vault. An oldie but goodie. A fresh corona spin added and here we are at the end of the story, for now.

Remember to watch your back somebody is always on your tail no matter what stage of life you are in. Don’t stay a cranky pants. Keep evolving. Never stand still. As long as you are looking forward whatever is in the rear view is the past. And nobody can change your future but you.