Tag: silence

anonymous letters

Shhh

2chicksandapen

Shush.

Be quiet.

Mind your business.

Don’t ask any questions.

Shhh.

Why is it that people want to put you in the corner? They want to leave you alone. They want to see you but don’t want to hear you. Who wants to be shushed as an adult. Not this girl.

Freedom of speech, didn’t anyone ever teach you that as a kid? If I want to sigh in a business meeting when when somebody says something ridiculous, it shouldn’t be a big deal. When I play tennis and make a sound as I connect my racquet to the ball to emphasize the power of my stroke naturally, I should be able to. When I want to make a new friend and ask their name, it should be no big deal. If my bestie wants to sing her favorite song as she walks in the Walmart parking lot, it shouldn’t cause a commotion.

If there was a car wreck in my path, I would want to stop to see if everyone is okay. I’d stop and ask a question. I’d use my voice. If I had a coworker, I would inquire about their family. Not to be nosy, rather to be genuine. To genuinely get to know the person next to you. I’d be overall curiously engaged. Somehow today this message seems lost to many. So many folks want to mind their business and want you to mind yours. No conversation. No nothing that makes one stand out or command attention. I’m sure I can make my presence known without my words, but that’s not the point of this rant.

Maybe it’s spiraled out of control post-corona: don’t sit close to somebody at work. Don’t make friends at church, watch from home away from others. Don’t talk to strangers? I get that for kids but to me nobody is a stranger as an adult. Don’t even smile with your eyes. Don’t pry into somebody’s personal business. Don’t even make a peep on the tennis court, it’s distracting. Don’t sigh its not polite. Certainly don’t sing like you have your own concert in the parking lot. Nobody invited you to sing. How about screw you!

I will talk to who I want. When I want. I’ll make friends with who I want. I will certainly ignore who I don’t want to go talk to. I will always check in on others. Whether it be for mental health, support, cheerleading , among other valid reasons like checking my daily group chat to see who is the smarty of the day for completing Wordle. I’m a people person. Singing is an outlet for many as is music. Should we not allow music to nourish one’s soul. I don’t deal well with anyone who wants to shush another. It’s barbaric. 

I’m a people person tried and true. You can’t shhh me. You can’t put me in a corner. You can’t tell me don’t. The word don’t insinuates to do in my dictionary. Do it again. Do it many times for flair and reinforcement. I might even be relentless if I know what you told me not to do is talk to others or use my voice. Body language can speak just as loud as words but as long as freedoms exist for speech, don’t try to surpass or shush somebody.

Today’s rant is dedicated to the nice old lady who attempted to shhh me. She should go fly off on her broomstick and shhh herself. Her shhh attempt silenced me for a short time as I was caught off guard. Why would she be so blunt and rude? Oh because she is just that. Blunt and rude.

I do believe words are powerful. I do think writing is therapeutic. I think putting my emotions out into the web shows vulnerability and humility. I also think the variety of topics we cover can lead others to uncover who they are or where they are  going through our virtual voice. Right here on this blog.

Life is full of experiences. Some good. Some not so good. Many I know are up against odds as we speak, but they push through their obstacles. At the same time others stare at obstacles as if they were cement road blocks. A wall that can’t be climbed. A surface that is impenetrable. An invisible wall preventing oneself from being amazing. This is fear. 

Fear of the unknown. Fear of losing. Fear of gaining: fear of experience. Fear of trying. Fear of being good. Fear of losing a job. Fear of hurting somebody’s feelings. Just fear in all aspects.

Todays rant is simple. I was pissed off. I decided to write about it. This is what diarrhea of the mouth or should I say pen or maybe keyboard since this is what our writing looks like. Unfiltered. Just like the murky water of your toilet when you have legit diarrhea. On that visual I will sign off for the evening as I have now began chuckling in my bed as I just wrapped up this post. Laughing now ensures I will sleep well without a wandering mind. No chasing the shhh monster in my sleep tonight. 

Oh how my editor is going to cringe when I say post this bitch uncensored and unedited! I’m sure she will get past the initial shock of it but this pic below probably describes her face as she reaches this point in the post. Do I laugh? Do I cry? Do I say OMG? Do I almost want to barf? Probably all of the above and this pic depicts the oh shit face of tomorrow when this bad boy is read by my team. It will definitely be an oh shit moment or two that I can’t wait for.

Good night to all. Let the your mind rest as you sleep away the woes of today to be fiercely dedicated to making tomorrow awesome. Remember to use your voice. Talk to others. And sing that anthem you love in the public bathroom because you can. Listen with curiosity. And don’t shh or shush anyone. If you shh me, I am not your fan girl at all.

awareness

The Wait

2chicksandapen

Recently I was put in a situation where I had to wait patiently in a lobby. It was odd. Such idle time on my hands. Nobody talked because there was no congregating in the lobby. Ugly floors to stare at that seemed to be dated back to 1970 or before. Sticky mouse traps visible in most corners, under the water fountain, and in bathroom stalls. It was an odd an eerie place to spend my time.

The highlight of my gloomy experience was jamming to country music on my AirPods while others sat in silence. It was as if we were all sentenced to silent lunch. I took photos of my shoes. I wrote blog posts. I people watched. I twiddled my thumbs. The time seemed to barely move. Similar to the others that waited. Government offices are such a joy to visit. It’s as if they are designed to suck the life out of you as soon as you cross the threshold.face with hand over mouth

A walk to the bathroom seemed like an extravagant stroll in the park. Maybe the lights were slightly brighter. Maybe the sound of the water running was a soothing sound among the silence on the other side of the door. I might have even felt the urge to flush multiple times in case anyone was counting the flushes on the other side of the door.

My mind was exploring the lobby of nothingness. An hour seemed like eternity. I wondered about many things. Why would anyone want to work in this setting? Why would anyone feel the need to silence a hallway or waiting room? Is community such a bad thing? Forty ceiling tiles. Very dusty air vents. Uncomfortable wooden chairs. Chipped walls. The things that piqued my interest while I waited. 

As I wait my turn, I am ever so thankful this gloomy place is not on my regular list of places to frequent. If it was I’m sure I would age very quickly. As I close out this rant about the lonely lobby I hope you can giggle next time you are sitting in that government office thinking about this rant. I also hope you like my comfy and classy looking shoes.

anonymous letters

Jab and Duck

2chicksandapen

I’ll refer to the boxing terms jab and duck for this post. Keeping in mind it will always be the jab from another and a duck from my side. Meaning I don’t pick the fight, I defend. Simply stated I will defend my honor, pride, family, friends, and property.

I counted about twelve jabs but I really wasn’t counting per se which means the number is probably much higher. With each jab I ducked or dodged the jab. These are not physical jabs at my body as in a fist fight rather they are jabs that are almost like a dagger to your heart, your soul, your mind, your family, your property and such. It’s about as real as a fight gets without the live boxing match.

I always go to brain over brawn. Some may think otherwise if they saw me in person however its true. One can always outsmart the opposition with knowledge, strategy and a calm, cool and collected self. Sometimes patience is the key to success. Sometimes fast action is critical. Wit is always required.

I find it humorous that time and time again the little turtle pokes its head out to snap at me. Covered in a hard shell to protect itself thinking I would retaliate with a rock or something. Nope, not worth my time or energy. But when the snap comes out to bite or pinch or jab at me, I will welcome the invitation to show my wit.

My brain not my brawn. My clever and detailed side. The one that never leaves a stone unturned. The one thing others should fear the most in me. It’s my hidden talent. My ability to handle the shittiest of situations and make sunshine prevail. Many can and will try to steal my sunshine or other other items they may want, but if I’m not ready to give those items away a fight will ensue.

My jabs will hurt. My jabs will come from off angles. My jabs will be unexpected. My jabs will never touch one’s skin but they will be felt to the core. Maybe it’s the emotional core I’ll hit. Maybe it’s the mental toughness I’ll prey on. Maybe I’ll do nothing and let the silence eat oneself. My choice. My fight. My desire to win fast or slow. 

The moral of this story is don’t pick a fight with me. It’s not a wise choice. I can sit dormant and wait for the guard to go down to retaliate. I’m always aware. I’m always watching. I’m never too busy to take care of unfinished business.

If you read this and wonder if it’s about you, it might just be. I suppose you’d have to ask me directly if you wanted the answer. Funny thing is I know you only peek out from your turtle shell now and again and you certainly don’t do it with fear in your eyes. You only do it when nobody is watching. Or you think nobody is watching.

Such a weird post for me to write since I often coach people not to fear. However if you are not on my good side I am really one you should fear. What an irony.

For now I’m working on my dodges and ducks. Staying up on my toes dancing around life waiting for my time. My time to jab. Indirect jabs. Keenly accurate jabs. Deep jabs.

Be ready. Sunshine is coming. The little turtle has no chance. My options to exercise control and power almost seem limitless. It’s unfortunate that the turtle can’t see past itself to see this. 

Teddie Bear Adventures

Sunday Silence

2chicksandapen

It’s rest day! Well it’s the one day that I allow the most rest and the least scheduling for most parts of the year. I’ve missed my rest day the past being gone so for many reasons and time was catching up with others me.

Generally speaking it’s a day off of gym training. If I missed a day I may add it in but generally I’m not at the gym before 6am. For that reason alone it’s a rest day. A hike in the fall. Some farm chores. A walk. A bike ride may all fill in rest day but nothing too strenuous.

I generally like to have breakfast on Sunday. Some fresh eggs or whatever is available. Today was a hot tea kind of morning. A little peach tranquility and jade mint topped with honey for a fall morning. A little lounging. Some cleaning. Usually some laundry. But it seems everyone rests on Sunday too. The dogs. The family. Thus the Sunday silence. I’m awake usually as my body clock knows the time. However i purposely rest and relax.

Today I’m drifting in/out of sleepiness listening to pup one breathe. A restful breathing pattern with an occasional lip smacking. Oh how I wonder what she is dreaming about. Nestled at the foot of the bed. On guard of her baby sister sleeping in her crate at the foot of the bed. An anchored view of sorts. The puppy breathes a little heavier. The puppy tosses and turns some where, you hear her nails touching the bottom of the crate. These sounds are soothing to me. Like a mom listening to her human baby sleep. It’s a peaceful state.

The pups got a little morning treat today. Some cold milk and a sampling of bacon. This is just to hold them over before I run to the store to get them some treats for the week. Yes they are spoiled.

Motherhood is motherhood. Whether a pet mom or human mom. A mom’s worry or wonder is never far. For this morning I cheer silently for all the moms out there doing the best they can with what they have under the circumstances around them. It’s never easy.

awareness

Nightfall

2chicksandapen

It was a Tuesday evening in summer. Not too hot out, maybe 75 degrees. Sitting at a friend’s house in their backyard by their pool. Surprisingly no kids were around, not even in the pool.

No laughter. No whining. No birds chirping. No splashing of water. No dog barks. Nightfall was upon us. A simpler time of day in the yard.

The sounds of the night were so very different from the sounds of the day. What an interesting thought or moment in time to recount in this blog. Nightfall.

Creatures of the night were awake and singing to us. From the grass to the trees sounds were in full force. Crickets for sure were out in full force. Was there one or many? I can’t say for sure but it seems orchestrated or echoed.

A variance of chirps and high pitch zaps and wonky sounds in stereo in the backyard. It was calming. White noise, pink noise or whatever noise this refers to. It’s a peaceful sound. A simple sound of the peace within the environment.

How these sounds differ if the environment was a beach, a farm or a cruise ship. The click of the air conditioner turned on. Clack, buzz and the vibration hum set the background tone. The crickets sing on top of the bass sound. Layered on top are random zaps from a nearby bug zapper. Katydids egg on the crickets with their anthem. It’s a full blown orchestra if you listen.

Don’t let the silence kill you. Enjoy the carefree whispers around you. As a mom those silent times are few and far between. Embrace the silence. Enjoy the whispers from the grass to the trees. Appreciate the calming sense of the sound. If you tune out the chaos of the hustle and bustle of today’s world you will most likely sleep better at night.

If on a farm would I hear bears wrestling at night? Would I hear the moos of cows? Would I hear the sound of grass crackling when a deer passes by? Would I hear the sound of a horse wrestling in the solitude of his barn? Would I hear the sighs of those taking in the stars at night from their back porch? I may just have to research this.

I do know if I am at the beach instead of the backyard the night sounds are distinctively different yet calming in a different way. The rushing of ocean waves. Simple sounds but in a repetitive pattern. Swoosh. It may have a soft finish if the wave hits the sand or a harsh sound if the wave hits the rock. How a storm can change the sound in the backyard, the beach or the farm.

From a distant thunder to shaking of the roof when it draws near. To the sound of rain hitting your roof. And how different the sound is if your roof is metal vs. straw.

Nightfall. The sounds that ensue. Have you slowed down to appreciate the sounds of the night in your part of the world? How do your sounds differ from mine? Sounds are soothing. Enjoy your next nightfall. I know I will enjoy my next nightfall wherever my night falls.