Tag: silent

awareness

The Wait

2chicksandapen

Recently I was put in a situation where I had to wait patiently in a lobby. It was odd. Such idle time on my hands. Nobody talked because there was no congregating in the lobby. Ugly floors to stare at that seemed to be dated back to 1970 or before. Sticky mouse traps visible in most corners, under the water fountain, and in bathroom stalls. It was an odd an eerie place to spend my time.

The highlight of my gloomy experience was jamming to country music on my AirPods while others sat in silence. It was as if we were all sentenced to silent lunch. I took photos of my shoes. I wrote blog posts. I people watched. I twiddled my thumbs. The time seemed to barely move. Similar to the others that waited. Government offices are such a joy to visit. It’s as if they are designed to suck the life out of you as soon as you cross the threshold.face with hand over mouth

A walk to the bathroom seemed like an extravagant stroll in the park. Maybe the lights were slightly brighter. Maybe the sound of the water running was a soothing sound among the silence on the other side of the door. I might have even felt the urge to flush multiple times in case anyone was counting the flushes on the other side of the door.

My mind was exploring the lobby of nothingness. An hour seemed like eternity. I wondered about many things. Why would anyone want to work in this setting? Why would anyone feel the need to silence a hallway or waiting room? Is community such a bad thing? Forty ceiling tiles. Very dusty air vents. Uncomfortable wooden chairs. Chipped walls. The things that piqued my interest while I waited. 

As I wait my turn, I am ever so thankful this gloomy place is not on my regular list of places to frequent. If it was I’m sure I would age very quickly. As I close out this rant about the lonely lobby I hope you can giggle next time you are sitting in that government office thinking about this rant. I also hope you like my comfy and classy looking shoes.

anonymous letters

Jab and Duck

2chicksandapen

I’ll refer to the boxing terms jab and duck for this post. Keeping in mind it will always be the jab from another and a duck from my side. Meaning I don’t pick the fight, I defend. Simply stated I will defend my honor, pride, family, friends, and property.

I counted about twelve jabs but I really wasn’t counting per se which means the number is probably much higher. With each jab I ducked or dodged the jab. These are not physical jabs at my body as in a fist fight rather they are jabs that are almost like a dagger to your heart, your soul, your mind, your family, your property and such. It’s about as real as a fight gets without the live boxing match.

I always go to brain over brawn. Some may think otherwise if they saw me in person however its true. One can always outsmart the opposition with knowledge, strategy and a calm, cool and collected self. Sometimes patience is the key to success. Sometimes fast action is critical. Wit is always required.

I find it humorous that time and time again the little turtle pokes its head out to snap at me. Covered in a hard shell to protect itself thinking I would retaliate with a rock or something. Nope, not worth my time or energy. But when the snap comes out to bite or pinch or jab at me, I will welcome the invitation to show my wit.

My brain not my brawn. My clever and detailed side. The one that never leaves a stone unturned. The one thing others should fear the most in me. It’s my hidden talent. My ability to handle the shittiest of situations and make sunshine prevail. Many can and will try to steal my sunshine or other other items they may want, but if I’m not ready to give those items away a fight will ensue.

My jabs will hurt. My jabs will come from off angles. My jabs will be unexpected. My jabs will never touch one’s skin but they will be felt to the core. Maybe it’s the emotional core I’ll hit. Maybe it’s the mental toughness I’ll prey on. Maybe I’ll do nothing and let the silence eat oneself. My choice. My fight. My desire to win fast or slow. 

The moral of this story is don’t pick a fight with me. It’s not a wise choice. I can sit dormant and wait for the guard to go down to retaliate. I’m always aware. I’m always watching. I’m never too busy to take care of unfinished business.

If you read this and wonder if it’s about you, it might just be. I suppose you’d have to ask me directly if you wanted the answer. Funny thing is I know you only peek out from your turtle shell now and again and you certainly don’t do it with fear in your eyes. You only do it when nobody is watching. Or you think nobody is watching.

Such a weird post for me to write since I often coach people not to fear. However if you are not on my good side I am really one you should fear. What an irony.

For now I’m working on my dodges and ducks. Staying up on my toes dancing around life waiting for my time. My time to jab. Indirect jabs. Keenly accurate jabs. Deep jabs.

Be ready. Sunshine is coming. The little turtle has no chance. My options to exercise control and power almost seem limitless. It’s unfortunate that the turtle can’t see past itself to see this. 

friendship

My Independence WOD or Nod

2chicksandapen

My Independence WOD is really a nod to all those survivors living independently after a tough loss this year.

Each year on the fourth of July I normally run the Peachtree Road Race. This year was postponed. I’m getting used to the word postponed. Heard it way too many times in the last 90 days. Instead of focusing on the negative postponement I made it into a positive day.

I completed the 1776 WOD with a group of good friends and two of my kids. It wasn’t the hardest workout I’ve ever done but it was a grinder. One you had to push through. Lifting heavy weights, high repetitions of a daunting task, and so on.

While I was completing this WOD I wanted to honor of all the strong women in my life who are living independently without their loved one due to recent losses. Just a nod or tribute to celebrate their strength. Nothing said over the PA system, just a silent nod in a WOD.

Who knows what next year will bring on Independence Day but for today I am celebrating.