Tag: mental health

anonymous letters

Dear JackASS!

2chicksandapen

 

Today I decided to put my thoughts on paper regarding an unpleasant situation that has reared its ugly head in my life over the past several months.

Let’s start with the person I will name Jack Ass. He is an insignificant person in my life and he has limited ties to me socially. However, he most likely reads this blog. For giggles, I decided to give him some time in the spotlight. Not to shine a positive light at him, but to rather let him know I see him and his ways, and they don’t dictate my actions.

Let’s go back a few months in time. This jackass took something from me while I was out of town. It was a prized possession of sorts. Something I cared for with boundless energy and emotions. Fortunately for me, my special piece was returned to me with limited damage in just a few short days.

Upon return, the buffing process took place. Shining like a fine diamond. I was watching the item blossom in a way. Take shape. It was amazing to see the transformation in such a short time.

Then boom! In the blink of an eye, it happened again. Are you kidding me? Not again! Does lightning really strike twice in one place?

The odds are against it for the most part, but again my prized possession has been stripped of me. This time it’s not so easy to get back. He knows I know he has it. A firm warning was given yet a silent FU was received and duly noted.

Time’s a passing. Tick tock, tick tock. The reckoning day has arrived. An in-person meeting of sorts. And ewww he is the ULTIMATE JACKASS. There is no doubt in my mind. Once a jackass, always a jackass.

He shows up with a smirk on his face and a chip on his shoulder. What is wrong with this guy? He has something that I have nurtured for years but he stakes claim to it. I have never seen anything like this in my entire life. It is absurd to say the least.

Taking possession of another’s prize possession and matter of factly claiming ownership.

I am not sure what he thinks of me, but it’s okay I won’t be swayed by his condescending tone or his ugly words. I will take the high road and give up control to gain control. I will let him hold onto my prize possession because he has a death grip on it. He clearly needs my item for emotional support or other mental reasons I can’t even imagine.

He asks for my support of his needs. Are you crazy? I can’t support you but I can pray that my prize possession can weather yet another storm and come out unscathed.

In this day and age we are faced with many difficult situations. Today’s world is so much different than when I was growing up. I am not sure the mindset of people who prey on others who are nice.

May my jackass acquaintance find his own prized possession or find a new focus on one of his own possessions so that my piece may be returned before all is lost.

I can offer hope through positive actions and inspire others on most days. I believe in karma and I hope karma comes calling for Mr. Jackass. I may have the popcorn bowl already waiting for such a fine day.

Until then, be nice to others. Hug your loved ones. Keep an eye on your valuables and, most importantly, don’t let the jackasses of today ruin your day.

Tomorrow is a new day. A new set of adventures. You can live a life of lollipops and rainbows even if you don’t have that one prized possession anymore.

This open jackass letter was written as a form of therapy and free speech. I encourage everyone to grab a notebook and jot down their thoughts or feelings when troubled waters arise. There is something very therapeutic about writing vs. using your words against a person, place or thing. Choose kindness, it’s free.

And remember do unto others how you would want others to do unto you.

fitness and nutrition, perspective

From “They Think I Can” back to “I Think I Can”

2chicksandapen

 

One of my favorite kids’ stories is The Little Engine that Could.  This might surprise people who know me well, since I am not always known for my positive mindset.  I tend to be cautious, take baby steps, and keep my expectations conservative (at best.)

In case it’s been a while, the Little Blue Engine, when faced with an enormous task, takes it on, chugs along, and tells herself “I Think I Can” as she pulls train cars loaded with toys over a tall mountain.  At the end, she is a hero to the kids on the other side.

I think like this story so much because it is a challenge to me.  At time, my inner mindset is “What if I can’t? What if I hurt myself? Make a fool of myself? What if I fail?”  Then, if repeated often enough, it becomes “I can’t. I’ll fail.” End of story.

This is where friends and coaches come in.  I’m lucky to have several people around me who believe in me. Who challenge me. Who call me on my negativity. Who tell me that THEY think I can.

Enter Coach Alex.  I’ve talked before about injuries I’ve had at the gym.  I do modify movements, keep weights light, and scale in all kinds of ways.  Although it is mostly for safety purposes, there are still times I forget to challenge myself and just basically coast.

One movement that scares me is box jumps.  Body weight movements are just challenging and coordination is not my strong point.  An aggravated Achilles last year was another setback.  I had worked back up to step-ups, often with weight, but Alex got me jumping again.  He prefers jumps to step-overs and step-ups.  I moved from dumbbells, to two plates, up to three.  I was feeling pretty good.

Then one of those friends that challenges me asked me, “So how much higher is it to actually jump on the box?  It can’t be that much higher.”

Which got me thinking.  (Maybe I can?)

She had noticed I was jumping higher and thought that was great, but she isn’t one to let me just rest on my laurels.  The best kind of friend, even though being challenged may not always feel the best.

So between Alex and my friend, I knew the day to try was coming. Today turned out to be that day.  Box jumps in the workout.  As we were getting set up I grabbed the box and, unceremoniously, walked it across the gym to a tucked-away corner (in case I face- planted), set it down, stared at it for a minute and…

remembered what Coach Alex said.  Jump with everything you have.  Feet wider, pump my arms, focus on the box.

Then I remembered my friend, and thought “it isn’t that much higher than what I’ve already conquered.”  (I think I can….gulp).

And I jumped!

And I jumped!

And I jumped! Again and again, 52 times all together.  A few shaky landings and wobbly knees, but NO face plants or scarred shins.  Success.

It doesn’t read as nicely as the children’s story.  There’s not really a happy ending, cheering children, an unlikely hero…for me, there’s only maybe a happy ending to a chapter, then a look at what comes next. (A higher box?)

Thankful for friends and coaches who remind us that we can, when we’ve forgotten what we can accomplish.  Changing our minds can lead to changing our lives, whether in the gym, the classroom, in the living room, or just about anywhere.

fitness and nutrition

All that ASS!

2chicksandapen

Ass, buttocks, gluteus maximus, rear end, booty, butt and so on. We all have one or some version of one. The title seemed fitting as we will hear about my big ass and how my ass story has evolved over the past several years. Now that I think about it, I could have titled this blog differently but maybe you wouldn’t have been drawn to read it. Is the suspense killing you yet?

My ass used to be a bookshelf or so I called it. It seemed to have a ledge of some sort. (I will spare you a pic of this). One that could hold up a book if I leaned the proper way. I may be exaggerating a little but not much. My kids used to sing “baby’s got back” in the car and openly called it my jam. The lines of emphasis were her butt is just so big I can’t believe it’s so round it’s like out there…

I also coach lacrosse and parents sometimes catch my backside in photos when coaching their kids (again, I’ll spare you the pic). OMG that back side a few years back was like the side of a barn…again, maybe a slight exaggeration but one my loving and adoring family would point out. Was it out of love or other motivation? I don’t know but it’s in the past. It is just part of my story. I should have a new jam to symbolize my strength and new curvy backside! An anthem of sorts.

As my story unfolds, I can now say I’m a health freak, a workout-crazed woman, a food-weighing lunatic, a macro-mastering Mom, but guess what? It’s what I’m doing so others, including my family, will just have to deal with it. The new year is here and it’s time for new goals, new challenges and new dreams. I am ready for it all!

Each day we start over and reset. We each have the ability to have a good or bad day. We have the ability to eat healthy or not. We can choose to exercise or not. We each make those choices each day. As I found my inner spirit and what makes me launch forward each day with positivity, I celebrate each and every day and laugh with those I surround myself with. I make a conscious effort to remove negative influences from my life whether it be a friend who sucks the life out of me (not really a friend) or a food that just makes me sleepy (like cakes filled with carbs) or toxic work environments. When one can find the life balance that excludes or keeps these nuisances at bay, progress is easier to attain.

What changes can you make in 2019 to realign your quality of life?

Fast forward to now, today and I’m rocking the booty in my mind. Heck if I compare to my past buttocks size it’s definitely factual to state I’m rocking the booty, but others may have their own opinion. I have had my ass spanked more than once, in public, yes, by others who check its firmness jokingly, lovingly, or in a humorous way. That is cool, I guess or it doesn’t bother me. (I am flattered by the attention, I suppose) but for the purposes of this blog, we are going to see my ass through my eyes as it represents progress with my coach and my fit journey thus far.

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All those squats going up down, up, down, up, down. You get the song reference right? Lunges for days that make you feel the pain in your glutes the next day. So many reps that getting up from the toilet is a major struggle. Pelvic thrust in the early am when the gym guys think you are practicing sex moves or that’s where their mind goes. Anyway they are all worth it in the end when you put on that new pair of jeans and you can see your hard work via definition in the tight ass that you now proudly prance around with. Yes I said it. Prance, strut, flaunt. If you work for it be proud of your progress and show it. It also helps when you bump into people you haven’t seen in a while and they say “wow, you look amaze.” That does wonders for the motivation bucket! #bootygains

This week’s blog is dedicated to all those working on stepping up their ass game and all those who motivated me during my fit journey this far. Everyone needs a David (yeah, David), Geovanna (best butt in town), Mount (get lower he says), John (keep pushing), Noy (Tabatha who?), Vic, Lexie, Stefan & Kelsey (power couple), Tasha, Sarah, Tommy Morris (Mr. Faded Glory himself), Shane (getting dainty), Nick and so many more I forgot to note here. One squat at a time. One pistol at a time. One lunge at a time. One macro at a time.  You can improve your ass game if you commit to the process.

You don’t need a Brazilian butt lift, ladies or gents, to get results. You just need some sweat, some time, some effort and some motivation. Maybe even a kick in the ass from a workout buddy, coach or dear friend. A new pair of jeans is a great place to start for motivation of course. Don’t wait get that ass moving now.

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As I close out this post I sigh deeply knowing this month marks the 3-year benchmark of my health and fitness journey so far. Midlife crisis to some. Inspiration to others. Peaceful hustle to me. I have accomplished so much yet have so much further to go. Buckle up folks, you are in my story. Fab at 50 here we come!

This is what my last 3 years of fitness looked like:

2016 – 24/7 workout place with a friend 3-5 days a week then we added some fun 5ks. The Foam Glow Run, the Bubble Run and the Color Run. The add-on 5ks were to step out of my comfort zone and no, I didn’t run them all 100%, but I finished.

2017 – I was going to CrossFit after finishing up a bootcamp the previous fall. I competed in my first CrossFit open and that was when I could really see how I did against others in my age group across various strength and stamina workouts. I upgraded my runs to challenge me as well. I completed a Tough Mudder, Terrain Race and ran a 10k. What was amazing about the 10k was I hadn’t done that race since 1997 or 20 years prior. Talk about a milestone and recommitment to fitness.

2018 – This was the year I would stretch even higher. I would visit other CrossFit boxes when I traveled to see if I could fit in outside of my comfort zone. I did my 2nd CrossFit open and worked hard to improve my personal ranking overall in my age group and complete more movements than I could the year before. I ran the same 10k again but focused on trimming my time which I did by over 10 minutes.

My most exciting challenge of 2018 was competing in CrossFit competitions. One at my local box, one as a three girl trio, one as a dynamic duo with my workout buddy and then finished out the year with a squad competition with five fit people from two different boxes that I met over the years. Each team member has been important to my growth and development and this was a time to celebrate progress in a fun and dynamic way. I am so thankful for each of them and stoked I got to create a big memories with my badass squad to finish out 2018.

And finally, I focused on my nutrition and macro counting to get my weight in tune with my fitness. This was definitely a battle but I have learned to love water and learned I don’t need pizza and my chips in my life on the daily. I can be content with a high protein yogurt or chocolate covered nut instead. Life is all about choices and so is nutrition. It takes patience and commitment to stay the course.

2019 will have new goals for me to embrace. I am hopeful you all can get after your goals list and be a goal getter just like me. Next book title was firmed up as this blog post hits the internet. Big news. Big year. Big goals ahead. 2019 here I come!

More scribbles and rants to come from me in 2019. #kt247 #2chx #1095days

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balance, giving, perspective

Holiday Smoliday

2chicksandapen

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This holiday season has looked a bit different than years past and different than I planned in my mind, but peaceful all at the same time.

This month I spent time on gratitude. I wrote hand written notes to those who made an impact on me. I shared some sweet Starbucks treats as an added bonus and it made me feel so happy to see the smiles for those who didn’t know they were coming.

I received as well. I met some girlfriends for an annual exchange event. It was a blast and I received some treasured keepsakes. A pickle ornament. Random but special. A notebook. A super secret notebook to pencil my ideas and visions. A bracelet. An intention bracelet that reminds me to love others unconditionally.  Stickers. Seems simple enough but they were motivating stickers. Power stickers to use as momentary reminders to take action. The infamous tank top. A bold statement given on a shirt to see if I have the brass to wear it in public. The answer is yes! My gal pals know me so well. They are also part of my inspiration. I continue to evolve as they support my goals and dreams.

I made my annual donations at Goodwill, coats to the homeless, books to kids and made some other charitable donations to warm my soul. Giving will always be part of my holiday season.

I spent some time rekindling with family and friends near and far. Sometimes when you only have the ability to make a call it’s still is better than no call at all. Technology offers the flexibility of FaceTime or Skype as well.

I cleared some clutter on the home front. Shifted some furniture and mindsets. I made some shifts personally and professionally to be aligned for the new year and all the crazy that 2019 has waiting for me.  Put up a new vision board to help focus on moving forward with vim and vigor. As part of this process I took some time to invest in myself as well. Nothing major, just aligning of key resources to support what’s ahead.

In order to be a strong leader, one must take slivers of time when they present themselves as opportunities to recharge your batteries. This could be in the form of pampering, it could be in the form of extra rest, some time alone, some time thinking, or maybe even a shopping spree. I won’t tell all my secrets here but I will stress the importance of self care. Self care is often overlooked and can cause stress for some.

I also emphasize the ability to give up control to gain control. Sometimes you battle so hard without seeing results, requiring you to let go in order forge ahead. This could be translated to business, personal or even relationships. Letting go can be hard but can be a necessity to reach the ultimate outcome you want or need.

The above leads me to risk. Every day one is faced with risk taking. Some take a cautious approach while others stare it down with optimism. I look at risk with ambition and optimism. I trust the process. I look ahead knowing what the worst could be, but smile at the thought of what can be.

As 2019 approaches for you, be fearless. Connect or reconnect with a loved one. Try something new that you have been putting off for whatever reason. Step out of your comfort zone and invest in YOU. The power of YOU is something you control!

I leave you with one of my cards from a vision board I use. It may help with any ups and downs you face in 2019.

More rants and blurbs to come in 2019 along with cool new projects on the horizon. #kt247

 

fitness and nutrition

Water Weight?

2chicksandapen

I started a little competition at my box in the month of December. Eating clean for 25 of the 31 days of the month.

Pretty easy for me since I already count macros but this challenge has some interesting accountability points that I thought would give me another layer of accountability this month. Here I am with the challenge to combat This holiday month that is full of many temptations. #Decembergoals

Enter water: drink a full glass with every meal on day one!
Drink 6 glasses of water today. Ha, this was easy as it was the same day as my competition.
Drink 8 glasses of water.
Drink 1 glass of water for every alcoholic drink…on New Year’s Eve #evil

But I decided to set out a glass each day and fill it up at meals and make it a priority to drink my water. I then made it a point to bring water to the gym which I normally don’t do but I can now chug said water after the workout. Then I changed out my Sparkling Ice drinks for regular water. This is major for me!

Before starting the macro movement I struggled with water. Ice drinks got me through the first six months, no joke. And right about now I was getting sick of the Ice drinks or favorite flavors so now I am making the move to just plain old water. This is a miracle in my mind of some sort, but a lesson learned. You can overcome anything you set your mind to. Seriously, start small and test the theory. You can and you should!

And now that I am embracing water I have to deal with water at restaurants. I have a hard time drinking nasty tap water and sometimes that’s what you get. Sigh! Anyone have any suggestions? Send me a message or post. I’d love to hear about some trick to get over this small hurdle.

Scale report: I think the first week the water intake increased my scale but it could just be a coincidence. However I did feel like I went to the bathroom every minute on the minute. #realworldissues

Before I wrap up this blog I wanted to share a mid-week update. I have been in a YASSO mood. As in YASSO desserts. They have an amazing array of flavors but then they taunt us with their holiday treats just like Starbucks does! This time I fancied the sugar cookie flavor and it didn’t disappoint. If you are looking for a little pick me up snack, give the YASSO bars a try.

I can. I will. I am. Those are my action lines for 2019. No more I can’t. I won’t. I shouldn’t. Out with the negative in with the positive. All this stems from a silly water challenge. Funny how life flows. Glad to share my life views with you all over the 🌍.