Tag: holidays

adventure, celebrations

Holidays Smolidays

2chicksandapen

Thanksgiving is a time to be thankful. I am so thankful for my life. The shortcomings. The high points. The people. My friends. My family. My pets. My coworkers. All of it.

I may reflect on my thankfulness differently than others. I don’t need to share my feelings through food nor see somebody in person to let them know they are valued. This year I reflected from a remote location. I was up early before the sunrise. Not to cook but to reflect. It was important to me. I opted for video or text messages to send reminders of value others play in my life. Non traditional, yes. Heartfelt, yes. Memorable, I think so.

My way of celebrating is my way. Family gatherings often end with stressful bickering or binge eating and food comas. No thanks. I’m carving out time for a hike this year. Some peaceful time in nature. Breathing fresh air. Listening to birds chirp. Avoiding chaos. I’m eating simple turkey breast and sides. Easy peasy. No rush. No fluff. No stress. Easy cleanup. I’m letting my adult kids choose how they celebrate. They appreciate this. They don’t want to be forced to attend a required gathering. Just keeping in simple.

When I look back over the past five Thanksgivings, I have traveled out of state for four out of five. There is a pattern. Avoid the conflict, chaos and disappointment. The latter being the worst. Not being able to go everywhere you are invited. Letting somebody down. It’s a tough cross to bear, but an invitation is just that. An invitation to join xyz. It’s not a requirement. If a host doesn’t feel comfortable in their own house, that’s added stress to host. That’s so puzzling to me. I just wouldn’t do it. Not worth it to me. 

I’ve read many articles online this year about Dear Abby, my son-in-law is a pig. Nobody wants him at the family functions. Dear Abby, my daughter-in-law has no manners. Her etiquette is not becoming of her. Dear Abby, my mother is not nice to my husband and it makes the meal table very stressful. So many variations of people being unhappy and losing sight of thankfulness.

I choose non-traditional. I don’t like to confirm to norms. I like to set new traditions and reinvent those experiences with a little flair thereafter. Is that wrong? Am I harming anyone? Am I choosing happy my way? How fun is it to go to a new destination and see how others celebrate? How about volunteering for the homeless and making their day? So many options. 

I prefer paper plates and easy cleanup. No fine china at my turkey day table or other major holiday. I prefer Friendsgiving or gatherings of such. The ones where everyone brings their favorite dish to share. The ones where people focus on what they liked about their standard traditions vs. all the must dos. 

I’m in shorts and slippers today. Nothing fancy. Just me. Comfortably dressed as I gorge myself. No uncomfortable dress up to be presentable to others. My holidays are full of options. The destination may differ. The food may be shaken up. The company may vary as well. That’s part of the fun.

However you celebrate Thanksgiving and other holidays, be thankful. Be thankful for your life, your health and your ability to be present. The latter being most important. Your presence can be virtually in some instances because you are a present to those receiving the message no matter how it’s delivered and really you can’t be everywhere at the same time. You have to improvise. 

I’m also okay with knowing that as I age I may chose solitude. I may choose to reflect alone. That’s my choice. I hope when and if that day comes, my kids understand. If I’m not able to travel or run a race on turkey day I may need to find my peace in my own way. Time will tell. Of course, I’ll probably write about it, too.

To all those who frown on this post, more power to you. I won’t hold it against you, rather it will be motivating for me. I will choose to enjoy my peace more to bank some peacefulness for you. 

Happy turkey day and smolidays to come from this finicky old gal with an independent mindset just tossing this rant out to the world. This post is also coming out after Thanksgiving as it may hit a little different after you had your actual Thanksgiving celebration or shit show.

Football

Parades 

Food

Shopping

Chaos

Embrace your celebration style as I do mine.

challenges, Uncategorized

Christmas, Interrupted

2chicksandapen

It was just a few days after my daughter’s incredible showing at her first powerlifting competition. My strong girl, seemingly invincible as she deadlifted 403 pounds, was hit hard by runny nose, coughs, and generally feeling crummy. My sister-in-law, who she had stayed with during the competition weekend, was under the weather, too.

Testing results took a few days, but it was the answer we all feared: positive for COVID.

It was Christmas week.

What to do? For as long as I’ve been alive, both in my own family and my family-by-marriage, Christmas Eve has been the heart of Christmas. It’s a huge party full of food, singing, and a sea of presents. My other sister-in-law also has a birthday on Christmas Eve, which kicks off our yearly festivities. In addition, my husband’s family has a formal dinner on Christmas Day. Suddenly, all that was on hold. Seriously, COVID?

What to do? It is unseasonably warm. Could we celebrate outside? With masks on? Should we just celebrate without the people who are sick? All of that was met with a no.

So, we rescheduled. Our family owns a holiday-driven business. We barely take a day off during this busy, busy time. We finally found days in January where we can try to remake Christmas Eve, sort of. Christmas Day’s steak dinner will just have to wait until later in 2022.

On actual Christmas Eve day, I brought my sick daughter a care package of chicken fingers (we have a platter on Christmas Eve each year), the soup she had asked for, a stuffed stocking, a birthday cake, and my mom’s grits casserole, our Christmas morning tradition. I brought a small birthday cake to the other family houses that day as well.

We got together on google meet that night to sing Happy Birthday and Christmas Carols. Far from my usual glitter and shine as the yearly host, I was laying on the couch in my sweatshirt with my granddog on my lap. I got the giggles changing my background on the computer. The singing sounded terrible with the lag online. It was really just kind of a mess. I went to bed at 8:30 instead of refilling drinks and cleaning up and getting ready for Santa’s visit until midnight. We FaceTimed with our sick daughter as we ate Christmas breakfast.

Today, on December 26, all the presents remain unopened. I am a bag of mixed feelings. I always feel a sense of relief when my hosting duties are over. I also like getting back to normal eating and other routines once Christmas ends. I like to have everything packed up before I go back to work. I’m not sure what to try to carry over and what can be put aside until December 2022.

If you’ve read this blog for a while, you’ll know that I often try to find meaning or purpose in what happens. Find a lesson. Relate it to the bigger picture.

But today I’m just annoyed. Grouchy. I don’t really see the purpose or the meaning. Just sharing in case anyone else is in this place. You are not alone. Judging from my timeline, I know I am not alone.

I just hope everyone is healthy for the reschedule.

Bah humbug, COVID.

family, friendship

Hello Sunshine

2chicksandapen

Hello sunshine was on my mind this Christmas. Why? Because that’s what my dad would have said to me on Christmas. Unfortunately this is the first of many Christmases without my dad. 

Instead of being down in the dumps about missing him, I’m opting for spreading sunshine around. A little joking means laughter. Some games mean smiles. New memories and adventures mean giggles and excitement. A new way to honor his memory while making memories each and every year. 

Today I awoke to a dusting of snow. I immediately captured the spirit of the season on my camera as it doesn’t snow often in my area. For today I’ll call it an angel dusting from above. Later in the day I got a pack of gum as a random gift. You are My Sunshine it was called. No big deal to some but a universe whisper to me. A heavenly smile from above. Even when skies are grey from the snowy mist, sunshine is around. The warmth of the rays.

There were many heavenly winks this holiday season. Blessings of new friends to celebrate with. New firsts with my mom. New places to enjoy the festivities. Adapting to the change that has been lingering in 2020, all with a smile as best we can. Different was good this year.

Family meals that had everyone busting at the seams to erecting the most crazy looking gingerbread house covered in sweet treats. Each sugary piece placed on that gingerbread house by my tribe. Whether in spirit or in person. It was named Nana’s house. The crazy year was summed up with an array of sugary treats. A hot mess of sorts like the year of 2020.

To the unexpected text I received on Christmas morning from a new friend I met in 2020:

Merry Christmas! Thank You for making me laugh every morning you are a special person and thanks for your friendship

The text above was an unexpected blessing but one that made me smile ear to ear. As I live my life to the fullest I want to spread joy to others. Laughing, smiling, joking and having a fun spirit is one of my ways I like to spread sunshine each day.

Hello sunshine. A good morning of sorts or just a peppy greeting while I working on a special holiday gift for my mom. Hello sunshine from a new friend in a message. He would never have known those were the words my dad spoke to me often. He made my day. Was it a heavenly wink or an angel kiss from above? Either way I got the message. I felt the message.

My dad is with me in spirit. Now it’s up to me to spread joy to others one smile, one giggle, one joke at a time. Somebody is watching. Somebody is listening. Somebody might just need that joyful pick me up.

If you need a pick me up today, I hope the rays of sunshine are coming through this blog. You deserve to be the sunshine in the day today.

Hello sunshine!

awareness

Grief

2chicksandapen

Grieving is different for everyone. Grieving is more difficult for some than others. This year I saw a lot of loss around me. Too much if you ask me, but it’s the hand I was dealt this year.
I lost a dog just before COVID. There are many times he is thought of but the memories in the heart last forever. He is running with the angels somewhere. There was just one Axel in my world. Forever a memory just like my childhood dog named Tuffy. 

Then a jovial business associate lost his battle with cancer in the early days of COVID. That was gut-wrenching but at a distance due to COVID. He made so many laugh. He inspired many in his years. He was just a big loss to many. He is better off now, in peace. No more suffering.

Then within 48 hours of my dad passing naturally my mother-in-law passed. Boom. Just like that. Two family leaders gone in what seemed like the blink of an eye. Amidst a pandemic. Travel bans, burial restrictions. So many nos. Not the goodbye one ever expected. The roller coaster and shock of a double whammy still makes me shake my head yet it still seems surreal.

Boom another colleague drops just like that. He was suffering in silence. Away from people due to isolation requirements with a low immune system. Gone and somewhat forgotten. Why? No service beyond the immediate family because of full-blown COVID. Time has passed. People have moved on. Did they forget? For those closest I see the hurt. Their healing is a delayed state. Still isolated. Lacking drive. Wondering why the circumstances are still what they are.

Time passes. Grief lingers. Everyone emotes differently. The fall/winter holidays are hard. The first Thanksgiving meal without that special somebody. That first Christmas tree without a special helper to decorate with. A new year alone. Isolation of a different kind sets in.

Depression hits some hard. Anger hits others. The pandemic is still here after so many months. Some haven’t moved on but some have. Isolation. Stress. Loneliness.

Check on your loved ones. Tomorrow is not guaranteed. I share my losses to help others who may still be grieving alone or in silence. It’s okay to cry. It’s okay to miss that person. That’s all part of the process. You will have good days. You will have days that are a mess. Just keep picking yourself up and dusting yourself off. You can do it.

It’s time to honor the memories and cherish the moments you had with that special person with others. I’ve really thought about what I will do this holiday to make sure I include the one who’s missing in the celebrations of my family.

Their spirit can be echoed on in many ways. May you have a peaceful holiday no matter how you celebrate this year.

Make the most of what you have. Make memories. Share the special moments while you can. Even if it’s virtually.

friendship

A Beautiful Day for a Cup

2chicksandapen

Today was a beautiful fall day. Not too hot. Not too cold. Just the right average temperature to me.

I had to run an errand and hit up the local Starbucks to get my first holiday cup of the season. A creme brûlée in the pretty holiday cup. A definite favorite of mine.  I savored each sip. I marveled at this year’s holiday cup. I smiled. I sighed. I reflected on the little cup and how much joy it brought me. I even enjoy the little crystal bits that are sprinkled on top. They slide right through the cup opening for a sweet surprise. I snapped a few pics and sent one to a friend that is miles away but we unite each year around the holiday cup. It’s a little weird but fun to see who goes first each year. It’s also super cute to have a long connection over a holiday cup that makes us think of each other after many years. Another smile is on my face. 

It might sound a bit corny but the cup of joe hit the spot. A sweet treat. A nice way to enjoy the fall air on a Sunday with not a care in the world.

 I recently got an electronic gift card for Starbucks. It was a great surprise and motivator. Today I gifted another to see if the effect would be the same. Since Covid is infectious and a downer in communities let’s flip the switch and donate a holiday cup to a friend who may need a pick me up. Sure Starbucks doesn’t need the money but the people working there need jobs and your friend could be inspired by the gift of generosity.

Pass on a cuppa cheer this week. You will feel good knowing you shared happiness for about $5.  I will probably get another tomorrow or the next morning to see if it hits the spot the same way. Bring on the holidays.