author moments

You Are Beautiful

I recently met the sweetest little four year old girl. A petite little thing. An extremely polite young lady. As cute as she could be. She was enjoying a day at the playground where I played tennis nearby with her mom.

She was climbing the steps of the slide ladder over and over this day just to enjoy the air blowing in her face as she swept down the slide. Up. Down. Up. Down. Giggles galore. She played a little with her brother but also enjoyed her solo rides on the slide while we played tennis. Took a break or two to enjoy her sucker as well.

After her play time we had our brief introduction. My first time meeting her. She was a sweet little girl in a flowered dress and barefoot skipping around the play area. Pausing to say hi to me.

She taught me a little something about beauty on this day. She whispered to me in her soft and shy voice. I’m beautiful because my heart is so big. What a simple statement full of so much power. All this power and beauty was beaming from this sweet little four year old.

When I picked her up and gave her a hug. She squeezed back like no other. She is full of so much love and to see her share it was so amazing. This was a chance encounter but one I was grateful for.

Sometimes it’s nice to visit with little people. They are brutally honest and can lighten the craziness of a day. I don’t have little ones under my roof currently so this was a sweet moment to savor.

Just a tidbit for today. A little clip of sunshine for the world from the mouth of a innocent 4 year old girl wise beyond her years.red heart

Teddie Bear Adventures

That Feeling

The pit in your stomach. 

The nauseous feeling that is churning.

My heart is aching as well. The accident that caused the turmoil. The unknown. The cries. The sad eyes. The stillness.

My little baby had an accident. My little Bear. My puppy. She was under my feet. Playing like a puppy as a canister slipped from the pantry shelf above my head. I couldn’t catch it. It smashed the floor and the little dainty puppy’s paw. Tiny little girl didn’t stand a chance to dodge what would be a missile in her eyes coming at her full speed.

Oh my heart sank as she yelped. An ungodly sound like I had never heard before. How did such a little baby make such a loud scream? She was in agony. I never experienced anything like this. My stomach had a super big pain in it. The I’m going throw up now but I have to hold it. I have to be strong for her. I have to get her help.

I practiced my deep breathing. I woke the world up. The vet wasn’t open yet. Waiting 30 minutes seemed like a lifetime for them to open. I made it to the vet for an emergency appointment. I waited as the tech unlocked the building. They knew a crazy momma was there. They took my baby for X-rays. I had to wait yet again. 15 minutes for the results. 

That pit in my tummy was raging. My mind was dancing. My heart was aching. What horrible person lets such an accident happen? That would be me. I am 100% responsible yet I can’t absorb the pain for her. This is devastating. An experience I don’t wish on my worst enemy.

As I wait, I write. I’m choosing writing therapy to help calm my mind. To help share my pain and heart with others. A painful part of life but a real life encounter. Her blanket is clinched in my arms as I wait. As I write on my tablet. Sitting alone in a desolate room. The longer it takes the worse I think the outcome will be. Oh how I want to snuggle her during this difficult time. 

She is so loved, but does she know it? Deep breathing ensues. The vet comes back.  Nothing is broken. Hallelujah. A bone bruise. She will be sore but the doctor assured me she will be fine in a few days. Off we go with some anti inflammatory medicine to ease the suffering.

This momma sighs in relief to a point, but wishes she could start the day over to eliminate this mess all together. Snuggle your pets and loved ones. Circumstances can change in an instant. Look at these worn out eyes. She has nap time written all over her cute face.

Goodbye for now. I do plan to document her recovery at some point. Watch for a later post.

Teddie Bear Adventures

New Addition

No fancy birth announcement or maybe this is it. June 3, 2021 a puppy was born. Her breeder named her Minnie. The one with the mint green cat collar. The one who needed a home. The one a friend shared online. The one I saw and knew needed to be in my life.

Fast forward through a meet and greet, online question sessions and more.  Plans were set in motion. Supplies purchased. Many discussions about the name debated. A fee was paid. The puppy was mine. As she enters her new life as a pet she will go by the name of Bear. 

We already have Teddie and now we have Bear. Together they will have countless Teddie Bear adventures. Such a cute name combo for the dynamic duo who doesn’t even know each other let alone like each other yet.

So much anticipation. Teddie is spoiled but could benefit from a companion. A bestie. A playmate. Will she understand the logic behind us getting a new addition? Teddie is well trained, happy and a great family pet.

Bear is a puppy. Untrained. Chew monster. Whiner. Tiny little thing weighing just 4 pounds. How will she adjust? Will she like Teddie? Bear is still in the little greenish collar with a bell. Why? She is so tiny she can only fit in a cat collar. It doesn’t even have a spot to connect a leash.  Not that’s she is even remotely close to a walk on a leash.

So many adorable moments to share but I will only list my favorite: watching Teddie walk on a leash and the curious little Bear follows along side or behind just trying to keep up and mirror her gait. One modeling. One learning and growing. Such a beautiful sight to see. When the puppy paws are wet from the grass, they leave the most adorable paw prints on the ground. Sights like this confirm why they needed each other. For Teddie it’s such a growing moment. Instead of pulling and running on the leash she is exercising patience while she waits for the little legs to stay in stride with her. Simply amazing to observe. Those little adorable paw prints.

Sleep or lack thereof. With a puppy comes sleep deprivation. They are just too tiny to make it through the night no matter how tired they are. She does well but again isn’t perfect. Life isn’t perfect. What a subtle reminder we get about life’s imperfections through our puppy. You adjust. You balance. You push through. Ah to see the passed out puppy at bedtime. Out cold under the chair she soon won’t fit under with the big sister keeping guard nearby. Just makes your heart flutter.

What a sight to see. Puppy 1 out for the count. Dog 2 keeping watch. Deflated stuffed animal 3 lying lifeless nearby. A casualty of the busy play day shenanigans however at quick glance it could look like Dog 3. Of course it’s not real. One puppy in training is enough for this household.
I’m sure I will share many more stories and glimpses of life with Teddie and Bear. For now I am off to get a cat nap after rising super early for potty duty. Enjoy the cuteness over load of my four- legged pals.

As I conclude this entry, my heart swells thinking of my puppy’s birth date. June 3rd was also the day of my dad’s birthday. I had no clue until I saw the birth papers that they shared the same birthday. What a great way to honor my dad on his birthday after he passed in 2020. My little buddy has new meaning to me. A guardian angel of sorts.

family

Hi Dad

It’s Father’s Day 2021. My second official Father’s Day without my dad but truly the first that I grasp as we were just parting ways with my dad in 2020 amidst a pandemic. With the celebration of life so close to Father’s Day it still seemed liked we celebrated in a way.

This year is different. No dad to call on the phone. No gift to buy. No note to write. Nothing. I got to thinking of how I could celebrate Father’s Day.

  •  I could do all the things with my mom that I would with my dad since she is technically playing a dual role of mom and dad to me in the current day.
  •  I could spend the day going through memories from previous years and celebrate what was.
  •  I could write a list of things I missed most about him and add to it each year.
  •  I could honor him silently in something I do today.

What will I actually do? The day is still young but I am thinking. I will do a little walking as my dad liked to take walks. I will laugh some because he was always a jokester. I will talk to or exchange smiles with a stranger at the park because that’s what my dad would do. I will have a cup of tea and toast him as he loved a hot cup of tea.  I will look for a cardinal today to see if one passed by. If not a cardinal maybe I’ll see a sign he is watching.

I think of my dad often. I truly miss him. He can never be replaced. My mom is lonely without him. He wasn’t really a guy who gave lots of flowers but he was loyal to the core.

Happy Father’s Day to all the daddies out there. Whether by blood or by choice, dads have an opportunity to leave their mark on many in the world. I’m one of the lucky ones. I had a good daddy. I am forever daddy’s little girl and proud of it. Just shy of the 60 years of marriage mark at the time of his passing. He was truly one of the good ones. red heart

I hope another dad somewhere appreciates my Father’s Day post since I can’t have my dad for an in person Father’s Day. 

celebrations

That Time of Year

Graduations. Awards ceremonies. End of year gatherings. Oh how fortunate one feels to be in public this year celebrating others. A gift of sorts. Really it is if you compare it to what others missed in 2020.

For me I’m selfishly excited. First I’m happy to celebrate others. Next to celebrate being able to celebrate at all. And finally to secretly honor those who missed their chance last year. The chance they can’t get back as time has moved on.

As we celebrate in any fashion this year let’s think of those who missed out last year. Some missed graduation. Others missed a normal funeral to honor a loved one lost. Many missed their wedding day. Some missed a big award day they waited many years to be a part of. Maybe even a final season of one’s sports team was missed. 

This year I went to a graduation. It was masked. It was socially distanced. It was different. But I was able to participate and celebrate the graduate. I didn’t take that lightly this year. While waiting I had many thoughts or reflections. It’s was an eye-opening experience in many ways. An awakening.

I went to a college signing event this year. I listened to the stories. The athletes who sustained season ending injuries in 2019 causing pain and rehabilitation to prepare for 2020 seasons only to have a pandemic hit. Only to emerge in 2021 to rise again and overcome. I would have missed these stories as they are not in the headlines yet deserve a spotlight as do the other untold stories. I may cheer in silence but I’m celebrating all who missed that opportunity for whatever reason I’m 2020. 

This experience also gave me a whole new level of understanding for playing like there is no tomorrow. Every game is like your last. Leave it all on the line. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed on or off the field.

Now that we are in 2021 and restrictions are lifted I seem to be on the go. Go here go there. Do I complain about being busy? Yes. Would I want to be in isolation? Heck no! I do however need to be able to pause and make sure I don’t miss celebrating others due to my busy schedule. For the reasons I noted above, others need the chance to celebrate in 2021 because so much was missed in 2020.

I may have too many graduations to make them all but I will send that card. Send that text. Make that call. It’s an important step in 2021. For all those virtually reading this I’m sending you a celebratory high five if you are in need of celebrating. For those of you who have the opportunity to celebrate a milestone in 2021, make it a point to honor others.

It feels good to celebrate others. If you have somebody in your life who missed something big in 2020, send them a follow up this year. A card. A note. A call. A secondary celebration for making it a great year despite the blah of 2020. Why not? We have so many have-tos in life why not just do something different.