Tag: help

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The Support Role

2chicksandapen

Recently I got a chance to reflect on a few variations of those in supportive roles and the value of such roles.

At my recent competition two families had young adults supporting their parents at the competition. They could have done other things but they instead chose the supportive role. It meant a lot to the participants and it reconfirmed the already strong bond between young adults/parents. The value of this support can’t be overlooked.

Then there was the photographer at the event. The unpaid position that captured amazing moments for many who couldn’t take their own photos because they were in action. This support role provided joy to some and a replay of efforts for those who like to take note of good or bad points in their performance. A job nobody really signs up for but everyone wants the benefits of.

The concession stand worker at the local sporting event. An unpaid job. One that takes a person away from maybe watching their own kid or socializing with other parents. The last job anyone really wants to volunteer for. Yet despite the lack of participation on the volunteer side, many are ready to buy, eat and complain if things are not perfect. Thus the concession stand volunteer is the unsung hero. The thankless support role.

The parent. The guide. The nuturerer. The lecturer. The disciplinarian. The enforcer. The constant support role. Despite the importance of the role, it’s probably the bottom of the food chain on any given day. The volunteer role that comes with no instructions. 

When I sit back and think about any support role, I think of thankless jobs. I think of how we should all be more grateful to others who give time to any support role. A coach, for example. The food pantry helper. The people who help put smiles on the faces of others because of the support they give.

Take a look at your day. Your week. Your environment. How many supporters do you have around you? Have you thanked them lately? Do you in turn support others?

I recently went to cheer on a friend for a tennis match. It was a new vantage point. For me as an observer, it was a fun time to just watch and cheer for another. It meant something to the person that asked me to attend and thus made the time worth it. Supporting others can can be rewarding for both parties. 

I think years ago I was less supportive as an individual than I am today. In time I have matured to focus on others before self. The fact that I write about this confirms my growth in this area. It also implies my intent to help others realize the benefits of supporting others. Give it a try. 

challenges, travel

Southwest Where Is My Bag

2chicksandapen

Denver to Atlanta. Another day no flight out to Atlanta. Just a bunch of cancellations. Funny how Delta got 8 out of 8 flights out from the same airport. I don’t think Southwest has a clue how to recover from this self-inflicted disaster.

Corporate is still closed on 12/26 despite cancelling so many flights. I would think leadership would cut their holiday time short knowing so many of its customers are suffering. That would be a big NO!

The photo above is just a reminder of all the idle planes sitting at Denver on Christmas Day. And that was just out my little viewing window. 

If you get to customer service they will tell you they are just a call center and need to wait for corporate to give directions as they are not authorized to help solve your problem of no clothes or personal hygiene items. I heard one fella say I’ve been living in a swim trunk for 5 days and I’d like to know when I can get my bag as we have record cold temps in the teens here. Guess what? No just wait.

My bags sit in Denver somewhere in the suitcase pile of I’d guess over 500,000 suitcases. That’s like looking for a needle in a haystack. But my bag isn’t lost according to them. It’s just not presently with me. Does that mean they are not responsible? Well Southwest has that discretion per their policy online. How convenient.

I can call back every day and hold 4 hours along with the hundreds of thousands in the same boat as me. Then after 5 days I can submit a claim to corporate. Well I’m annoyed I’m just going to write and publish this shit show to note whether Southwest takes care of their client in the end or if they screw them.

Stay tuned. Day one is done and no progress. None. None at all. Corporate is still closed and their web inquiry tells me they will get back to me in 10 days. Yawn. Yawn. Yawn.

2 bags missing in action. Last seen in Denver, Colorado. Let’s see what they look like when I get them back, if I get them back.

Fun fact: your valuables are only valued at $3,800 per Southwest at a maximum. Add up the cost of lulu lemon pants, ski gear, base layers, makeup and Christmas presents and boom you are probably over that limit. Remember Southwest wants you to pack your big winter coat vs taking up overhead space that means you probably packed two expensive coats. Winter wear is a lot more costly than summer bikinis and shorts.

author moments

Lessons

2chicksandapen

In life we are given lessons to learn time and time again. Sometimes we may see them. Sometimes we can’t see them even if they smack us in the face, repeatedly.

Today I learned many lessons, but a few are below to share:

  1. Trust your gut and never waver.
  2. Keep your friends close but your enemies closer.
  3. Don’t stoop to the lower level of somebody around you. It never ends well.
  4. Show up for your friends when they need you the most.
  5. Don’t fear those who stand in your way.

This list is not all-inclusive but it’s what comes to mind as I sit down to recap the chaos of the day. Most of which I didn’t create but all of which circled around me in many ways.

To any adult that needs to use a child as a pawn, I pray for you.

To any teen that thinks bullying another is okay, I hope one day you feel what that feels like. Karma is a bitch.

For those who think mental health is a joke, think again.

Many will win a day, a game, or a trophy. Those things are just moments in time to celebrate. When you win at life you make others feel good time and time again. One does this through kindness, positive actions and without a malicious mindset. Others before self is a lesson I wished many practiced more often.

Sometimes putting others before you is hard. Sometimes it’s not hard at all. The thing is, if you never practice others before self you will not recognize the opportunity as often. Practice giving to others first. We all can benefit from building muscle memory in this arena.

Learn the lessons in life. Maybe something in this post with spark an interest in you to do more for others. Maybe it’s volunteering. Maybe it’s spending time with others. Maybe it’s offering a listening ear. Maybe it’s practicing forgiveness.

Today I forget the troubles of today. I forget those who were ignorant around me. I forget how mad I was at the time. I move on. I move the fuck on because the negativity is not worth even one grey hair on my head. 

This post is dedicated to my pal Brooklyn aka Brooklyn the bitch. The gal that says her inner Brooklyn is about to come out as she grabs the vaseline and takes off her earrings. Which translates to a street fight is about to go down. Best damn statement I’ve heard this year. Truth bombs from the girl from the city.

What lesson did you learn today?

challenges

Jail Time Revisited

2chicksandapen

Recently I had the opportunity to experience a county jail with an added twist. I’ve written about visiting the jail before as a contractor recounting an inside view. I visited the exterior as part of a jail run a few years back that included running the officer obstacle training course (so much fun) and the campus which bordered the barbed wire fences and guard towers. Both experiences were memorable and offered different views of the same place.

Over the past week I had yet another view. An unexpected view. I needed to try to visit an inmate. What started out as a simple endeavor ended up extremely complex. So many things I didn’t know, didn’t expect or just couldn’t wrap my arms around.
the first big blow is no in-person visitors which is the exact opposite of the county website which states visitation Mon-Fri and Sat/Sun for under 18. I guess they are still under Covid protocols even though most other places are not. This was funny in itself as you don’t need a mask to enter the jail but you can’t visit. The next option is a fee- based video visit, but figuring this option out almost requires an IT degree and a lot of patience.

That’s right. Get the app. Download the app. Set up a user ID. Add funds. Upload identification documents to prove who you are. Now wait. Wait until somebody in an office somewhere approves you. This took three days in my case. Once you have access, you can schedule a call. I almost forgot you need to deposit more money for the call and pay more service fees. Just when you think you are at the finish line you have to be patient again. It seems the schedule is not the same day. That means you wait longer and the person inside has no idea how hard you are trying to make contact. Big sigh.

What’s the other option? Send a letter. I was told happy mail is very uplifting. Okay, what’s the address. Well the address you mail to is far away. It has to be sorted to make sure there is no contraband. Well over the holiday, mail delays, etc. would lead me to believe this would be another dead end.

How about a phone call. Can the person make a call? Only if they have money they tell me. How do they get money? Glad you asked. There is a jail ATM. Never seen one of those before. You have to upload your picture, your social security number, address and so much more. Then you can pay money and exorbitant fees. Again, it’s not instant. It takes a day to process and the funds need to be deposited by 8am. That means if you put money in the ATM on Sunday at 4pm the inmate won’t see it until Tuesday after 8am. Delays galore.

Four days it takes to get any form of contact. This provides so much insight into what folks deal with when they are immersed in the jail system. I can’t even imagine if my parent was in jail, how a young adult could handle all the chaos associated with saying hi to somebody who probably needs some extra support during their incarceration.
This experience has taught me I for sure don’t ever want to spend time in jail. I also don’t want to have to visit anyone I know in jail. I like my freedom too much. I like to choose what I do and when I do it. I thought visiting somebody in an assisted living facility was hard in the heart of the pandemic, however I would definitely say visiting a jail is 1000x harder current day. 

With mental health issues challenging society today, it is bothersome to me that inmates lose not only their freedom but their ability to get compassionate care. I define compassion to include communication with willing visitors vs starving them of hope and friendly faces.

In summary, I’d always tell somebody think carefully about actions or inactions that can land one in jail. It’s not a place i’d recommend at all.

awareness, mental health

Universe Whispers

2chicksandapen

There are days when I feel the universe is whispering to me. Subtle little hints that I’m in the right place, at the right time with people who are meant to be in my path.

The path could be a connection at the grocery store. A person I meet through work. An interaction with a stranger. The person next to me on a plane ride. An attendee at an event I am hosting. The list goes on.

I spoke to a woman recently about an encounter with her child. A chance encounter at that. In my path for no other reason than chance. I knew neither mom nor daughter before this date. No common denominators. The paths crossed unexpectedly. The timing was right. Crisis averted.

Our chance meeting led to outcomes. Outcomes led to more interactions. Actions, smiles, cheerleading of sorts. The relationship may not blossom past this point but that is okay. The universe wanted a chance encounter at that moment. The rest will fall into place as it should be. Below is a message I received weeks later to confirm my universe whisper:

The impact made shows the importance of my timing. My active listening to know there was a need at the moment to be present for somebody aside from me. The importance is I was there when needed. A universe whisper of sorts. There are many examples I can think of yet this one rings true today. In the now. Everyone needs a pick me up from time to time and kindness matters. How you treat others will come back to you in time. Some call it karma. I call it fate.

I hope my post makes you think about how you treat others and how a chance meeting may be olive branch of life or even hope to get through tomorrow.