Tag: think

balance

She Said It

2chicksandapen

She typed it first.

Then she said it.

It was a compliment.

It wasn’t forced.

It was genuine.

My cheeks lit up a bit.

I was so happy to hear that I made an impact. I wasn’t trying to. Rather I was just being me. Being me was glorified by public appeal in an unexpected age group. How fabulous. A compliment from a young one. A growing one.

Just when I think there is no hope for the next generation, I get a glimpse of what can be. I then remember it’s the small seeds we plant. It’s the lessons lived. The opportunities given that will shape a person. I’m going to keep doing me. Many may judge but the one that matters most appreciates. I’m going to remain hopeful that one good outweighs the 10 struggles. 

This small footnote in my day will be long remembered. Cherished. How one little thing can mean so much to another. What can you do today to lift up another? Or maybe the question is how easily can you tear down another? What do you choose today?

For me I think I have the power in many instances to tear down another. I don’t do it often or if I do it’s not intentional, but sometimes it is. A form of self-preservation. Keeping with this thought we can all be doormats at some point in time. Sometimes it’s front and center as in your immediate family. They can be the worst. Taking for granted how special you are.

I believe that’s when it hurts the most. I’ve lived both sides of the equation. For me I savor the footnotes at the beginning of the post otherwise my days would be long and grueling if I focused on the latter.

You see people are ugly most days. Not always intentional but it happens. We still choose our reaction to the sourness. Sometimes you bark back. Sometimes you walk away. Sometimes you take it. Ultimately you decide. You live with the level of acceptance you desire for your self and others.

Some times I draw lines firmly. Other times I’m soft given variables in others. Recently I reset 100% because of a person who riled me up. I often think of the values I grew up with and how they have disciplined me for today and beyond. I think I instilled the same in my kids yet environments can skew your teachings. School influences. Internet options. Young teachers vs. tenured providing guidance when you are not near. Do-gooders in the world meddling based on what they see vs whole picture. Jaded views. 

In my early years I played outside more. I learned through self-discovery but in a more closed environment. I was very fortunate in my experiences yet sheltered in comparison to today. Cell phones. Distractions. So many variables. My views were tainted to the time I grew up in. My views were less worldly. Less public. Less stressful.

All in all grace is grace. Sometimes people need more grace than others. Sometimes we have to hold onto the one good to balance the 10 lessons one is learning. Growing up today is so much different than when I growing up.

I must remind myself of this often to savor the joy and focus less on differences.

For this post goes round and round but I hope that some words may have you reflect on your surroundings. What can be different. What can cause chaos. What role you can play to ease the stress of others.

Just a thought post.

author moments

Trust

2chicksandapen

I don’t trust many people. I probably will never fully trust more than a handful of people and even then I may only trust them as far as I can throw them. I’m not bitter about trusting others due to a bad experience rather I am realistic. People are messy. Trustworthiness is almost a lost skill in todays day and age.

I may trust you to do the right thing. If you don’t do the right thing, I need to examine why. Did you have an alternate agenda? Did you lack the experience needed to make a good choice? Did you cower to another party who influenced you to do the wrong thing? Did I neglect to to set your expectations clearly on what my definition of the right thing was at some point?

Many times we choose in life. We choose right or wrong.  We choose green or blue. We choose what we so desire. My desire or choices may differ from yours. It doesn’t make my choices wrong just different. I am okay with different as long as your choices don’t impact me negatively. Somehow in life perception doesn’t always align with reality. 

Example: my friend is gay. My friend alerts family and friends. Doing the right thing in my mind means supporting my friend. Others choose differently. When my friend gets hurt I lose trust in the guilty party. My perceived good choice is noted but the reality is not all choices are the same.

This is where trust comes into play. I undoubtedly trust those who are near and dear to me over and over again. Those who offer unwavering support whether I am rich or poor. Their trust from me comes when trust is earned. I don’t set a time limit. I trust on the onset but don’t fully trust until a loyalty threshold has been met. It’s an unwritten rule in my mind.

We have to trust family at the onset but in many cases family can screw you, leading to deeper trust issues because it hurts more when family violates. I’ve seen it in my family and I’ve seen this happen in other families. One may cheat. One may steal. One may lie. Some do it all. 

On the flip side if you have my trust but lose it, there is no guarantee you can get it back. I will offer grace when I can but I can never guarantee full trust after it’s been lost. There is history. Historical data that is etched in my memories. Many deserve a second chance but some don’t. The closer you are to me the bigger the responsibility to uphold trust is. 

For example: if I trust you to be a good person and not take advantage of another and you repeatedly continue the behavior I no longer grant trust. I am always thinking one has an alternative agenda if the behavior continues.

I trust my gut often. Sometimes my gut tells me to stand clear of people, places or even situations because an environment may be toxic or hostile. In these situations I always trust my gut even if I end up being wrong. It’s just better to be safe than sorry.

Who do you trust the most?

Who is close to you that you don’t trust?

Who or what causes you to be reserved in certain situations because of trust issues? Or maybe not trust issues rather a questioning of motive or purpose that makes your trust guard to be put up?

I know many who don’t talk about trust thus I made a post. Just a thought post for you to think about.

celebrations, challenges

Change

2chicksandapen

Change is in the air for this girl. Change is in the air most days for this girl. Life is full of twists, turns, uphill battles, downward spirals and so much more.

To me, change is part of the beauty of life. The variety life affords us all. The endless possibilities. The chance to explore in different ways. Discovery of what’s new. Embracing what’s ahead. Never sitting in the past saying would have, could have, should have.

Change is the only constant today yet many fear change. I embrace change. Heck I even embrace the chance of change. I savor the opportunity to embrace whatever the change is. I look forward to the learning opportunities that come with any change. I feel inspired by change in many ways. I evolve through change.

Many may not understand a big change. Even a small change can raise an eyebrow for some. It’s okay. Change is in the air. Change is in air most days for all of us. What’s your perspective on change?

Just another random thought post to spark your mind.

dare to be different

Thursday

2chicksandapen

Today is Thursday. I made it to Thursday. My week has been a shit storm of this, that, the other and then some. It’s like the shit was smeared across my bathroom mirror, the car window, the computer screen, the kitchen table, you name it.

I guess you get the picture I have painted. Now I’m not thirsty or I would be taking advantage of it being Thirsty Thursday. Instead I’m opting for some time in my thinking chair. Feet kicked up. Faithful dog by my side while I listen to traffic pass by in the nearby street.

I think about those cars rushing to their next destination. Hustle, bustle, and hustle some more. It’s the grind we live. For me I’m pausing in the space between activities, work and life to catch my breath. A deep breath. It’s been a hell of a week and it’s just Thursday!

This is where the self talk comes in. One day left. Another 8-10 hours of petty bullshit. I got it. I already went through the thick and gooey shit. The end of the week should be a breeze. Get after it. Make Friday your day. Slay and put all that shit in the shitter where it belongs.

This weekend I will focus on recharging. Resetting my mind. Re-engaging with my social circle. Relaxing in a new environment. I will even make it a point to eat or drink something new to step out of my comfort zone. It doesn’t matter if I don’t like it. It matters that I push my limits while recharging. It’s part of the process of reawakening oneself.

Have you ever had a day, a week or any amount of time that life just seemed to get sucked out of you? Everyone needing your time, your attention, your emotional energy causing you to be tired and ready to just shut down. That about sums up my last couple days. 

I made it to today. This fine hour where I could be doing a lot of other stuff but I chose me. I chose correctly. If I don’t take care of me, I will never have what it takes to support those around me who need me. The ones that I lead when they question their path. The ones who need a gentle nudge. Even the ones who need a firm push.

I matter just like you matter. Look in the mirror each day and smile. Reflect on why you matter. Embrace it. You make the world better. One step at a time.

For my Friday wish, I wish for whomever reading this to be content with who they are today. Not who they were in the past and not who they will be in the future. Just who they are today. The me of today matters the most. Live life to the fullest.