Something about an out and back course makes me cringe.
Whether it’s a hike or a run, if I see it’s an out and back, I’m immediately turned off. I want to see something new, not the same thing twice but backwards.
My first event this year was an out and back. Why did I choose it? Well, it was local, it was cheap, there was a 5k and a 10k option, and it fit my schedule. The out and back was a strike against, but since I had friends doing it with me, I figured I would survive.
I’ve actually done a couple of other out and back events this year, and there is one more thing to consider. If you’re competing and the course doubles back, you have to see other people who already made it out to the turnaround point and are heading back to the finish. For some, this might be challenging. For a “back of the pack” competitor like me, you get to see MANY people who are WAY ahead of you. Maybe if I cared about my finish time or placement it would get in my head. But for a person who thrives on cheerleading, I take the constant reminder of how many people are ahead of me and flip it into an opportunity.
I cheer for EVERY SINGLE PERSON ahead of me. From the teen cross country star who is flying along to PR or win to some of the older folks who are pushing along to the inevitable 8 year old who is gangly and gasping but waxing the floor with me nonetheless, I wave, I clap, I yell, I encourage. At the absolute least, I smile. It’s the very best part of an out and back race. I am very aware that I running all these races is not a “have to.” I get to come to the start line. I get to move through the miles. I get to challenge myself. And, I get to see others who are challenging themselves.
So, even if a course is boring or repetitive, it’s another chance to reframe your mind and refresh your perspective. You may even find ways this happens to you at work or in your home life. You may be the smile and encouragement someone needs today.
The hype has been building for some time. The details have been documented. The plan was set in motion. The anticipation lingers. The excitement builds. The suspense is in the air. It’s all going to be up to me. A solo goal. A goal to reach deep into my soul. A running goal that clearly relies on my soles. Just me!
Last week I ran in a practice state (Missouri). I ran stairs at the Arch in St. Louis and at another crazy tourist site. It was fun. I felt strong. I was ready for day one at least. Running shoes are packed. Layers of clothes somewhat picked out. The route is still a mystery for day one. The time is still unknown. A midnight run would be fun. Practical, not so sure.
The day has arrived. The beginning of my running the year 2024 start to finish is here. The quest. The tallying of miles. The places I will go. It starts today. It starts with me. Self-powered adventures await.
In an odd turn of events I am spending New Year’s Day in Denver, Colorado. I won’t be here for long, but will be long enough to log my first run of the year. Although I didn’t plan my first run to be in Denver, I am super excited to note my first day of adventure was on the road. I guess that means my last day of the year will hopefully be on the road as well. Bookends of the adventure!
The weather. Cold. Baby it’s cold outside. Just one mile. That’s what I’ve been telling myself. Just one mile at a time. Hitting the pavement at midnight is how I’m choosing to start this adventure of miles. It’s most likely how I will end the year as well. Destinations may be different but the night run is probably a must.
The shoes. I’m starting my year with ASICS. No real reason other than they were cushy and my feet feel good in them. They also have color and style which appeal to me at this point. I’ve tried other brands but for now this is what I have. More will follow on shoes and clothes I’m sure.
The shirt. I will have at least twelve shirts along the way. One for each month. All designed my crafty business partner to capture the adventurous spirit of I Run 2024 my way. My pace. My race. It’s that simple. I may not be the fastest but I hope to improve. I may not make the longest distance but I will chip away at my personal goal. No comparisons. Just me doing work.
The run. It was cold and lonely. I started at midnight on New Year’s. Odd time to run and I was in unfamiliar area thus I had to be aware of my surroundings. A few homeless crossed my path. I opted for no headphones in order to hear what was around me at that hour. I was layered up but also running a mile in an altitude I’m not acclimated to had my chest burning mid-way. I finished. I was excited to start the year with some excitement.
I had a dear friend with me. Capturing the moment. Cheering me on. Lighting sparklers at the end. We might have looked a bit crazy but it was over before we knew it. Then I had to wind down for bed. It took me almost two hours. I probably won’t run again at midnight on the road but I did it this time and it was very fulfilling. Bonus of running at a hotel was the fresh fruit water waiting in the lobby after along with the outdoor firepit to stay warm while cooling down.
First run is done and the tallying has begun. I plan to take my running slow on the front end of the year but build as I feel my body is ready for more challenges. Stay tuned for my monthly recaps to see my mileage adding up or where I may be running.
Wise words: focus on the journey not on the destination. This is a choice we can all make. These are words to live by. No matter what the task or where you are physically going, the choice is there. My words of wisdom will always be choose wisely. Enjoy the process of the start, the middle and the end. That’s the journey. All of it.
For me, I completed a goal of 100,000 meters last December in an online challenge. I said I should up the goal in 2024 since I attained it. This year, I set the goal of 1 million meters. I started out strong in January 2023, with over 100k. I stayed somewhat consistent with 90k, 92k and then some travel hit that kept me away from the machines that gave me my meters (with my manpower of course).
Fast forward to November and I was away again. I moved my body. I pedaled on a bike and I walked a ton, none of which counted to my meter goals. I could have given up. That would have been easy. Had I focused on the can’t attitude that’s what would have been the result.
I took those can’ts and made the “I can” to do list. I can finish my meters and I can also do complete the 100,000 challenge in December again. Although they may sound redundant they really aren’t. The 1 million meters are really only accumulated on a bike erg, a ski erg or a row erg. That’s it. That’s all I can count.
On the 100,000 challenge, I can count walking, running, rowing, and cycling. That means I have to turn up my volume of work to balance it all. Add in the weather variables and that can make the walks and run outside a little tricky. Holiday parties and other events taking up extra time makes the goal even trickier. But I am here to say it can be done.
I’m focusing on the journey not the destination. If it was easy everyone would do it. The bumps in the road are part of the process. They are in place to test one’s mental toughness. As I write this blog I am pedaling away on my bike erg on a rainy Sunday.
It’s not a pretty sight. I’m in a sweat shack of sorts. It’s got the essentials: music, heat, air and an erg to pedal. That’s all that matters on the rainy day. It’s my tool box for the hour.
Other days I’m adding 10-15 minutes before or after my workout to increase my meters any way I can. Sometimes that’s alone. Sometimes it’s with friends. My runs are short when I am getting in .50 miles for my 100k challenge. Every bit counts I tell myself. The quiet of the run is so peaceful. A great time for me to settle into my thoughts and before you know it I’m no longer thinking about running.
As I close out this blog, I am not done with December but my conclusion is I will be over the finish line before Christmas. My attitude will get me there without a doubt. I hope this post makes you think about the journeys you have in life. Embrace the start the middle and the end. The ride is part of the beauty whether you are taking in sights and sounds or climbing your own mountain to achieve what’s at the top.
When a friend first sent me the link, I laughed. He was training for an ultra running event, and who knows why but he was looking for more. I am training for a 15k in January and slowly (slowly!) increasing my running every week. I jotted the date down in my calendar, thinking I would go and support him if he did it. But a little voice in the back of my mind also wondered if I could do the three hour event myself as part of my own preparation for January…
Finding the time and energy to run in this season of life has been harder than my ramp up to a half marathon several years ago. I’m not really sure why that is. Technically, I have fewer commitments crowding my calendar. Still, I haven’t been putting the volume of miles into my legs that I should be in order to feel prepared.
As the date crept up, I decided it was time to test myself. If I end up walking, so be it. I set the goal of 5 laps…each lap is 2.2 miles. 11 miles in 3 hours seemed possible. Most of my miles these days are between 15-17 minutes. With a few breaks and to allow for some slowing in the latter miles, 5 laps would be a challenge but I was determined to try.
Another challenge was the time of the event. I would be on the course from 5 pm to 8 pm. I am a hard-core morning exercise person. Lately I have been running a mile or two in the afternoons once or twice a week, but an all-out extended effort in the evening would be a stretch.
When the day came, I had told a couple of people what I was up to but not many. I’m inspired by this image from Compete Every Day.
I packed up my stuff. I ate some extra carbs. I showed up at the right time, grabbed my bib, and lined up with a few dozen other brave / crazy souls and away we went.
Honestly, the run was pretty uneventful. I have a good playlist. People were encouraging. I was several minutes ahead of my target times on each of the first couple of loops. Some runners had full tents set up with chairs and food and decorations. The official tent had trays of cold food and hot. The runners who were competing in the 6 and 12 hour events commented on the quality of the grilled cheese, quesadillas, and more. It had a Halloween theme so some people were dressed in costume.
Aside from cheering on other racers, my mind was focused on my time and my goal. From a “back of the pack” running group on facebook, I had figured out how to set my watch for intervals. I would run two minutes, walk one. I did this pattern for most of the event. My watch buzzed me every time I had to switch.
My trusty playlist kept me going. I even had some universe whispers from a friend who has passed on. He came to me in a group of songs that kept me moving when I was tired.
Other pleasant diversions were the signs some had made to encourage runners. There was a trick or treat fun run with little kids in costume. There were dogs. There were lights. A pretty sunset and a beautiful Harvest moon.
Lap four started and my energy really started to falter. My strength in these long efforts is usually being able to stay consistent even in the later miles. At least that was the case last time around. But I could really feel my lack of training after mile 8. Slower walking in my recovery minutes. Walking creeping into the running minutes. I could also feel that I hadn’t fueled properly. I ate more running chews than I ever have. I ate less nutritious, whole food than I ever do. Combined with running with a headlamp, I was slogging across the finish line of lap 5 but I had about 9 minutes to spare. It was all just guts and will for the last mile or two, but I met my goal.
Given the chance, I would totally do it again. It gives me a benchmark to work from. It doesn’t give me “back of the pack” anxiety since I’m working against a clock and not a finish line. So if I’m free again next year, I’ll do it. I’m also looking at scheduling a half marathon in the spring.
A few kinks to work out…how to fuel for an afternoon race. Shortly after I completed the run, I was overcome with nausea. It lasted for hours. I knew it was from the sugared, artificial nutrition I had taken in (oh, and caffeine). It would also be nice to have a friend or two on the course. Even if I don’t run at the same pace as others, it does help to have someone out there sharing the suffering.
I’m clapping for myself and looking ahead. The goal now is to get out and run more often. To spend more time putting miles on my legs. Training to get faster and better. By the time the 15k rolls around, I hope to be feeling much better about the experience.
It’s been a week for the record books in more ways than one. I wasn’t sure I’d write about the week but then decided it could be valuable to another thus I opted to share away. And keep in mind this is a snapshot in time of a woman in her 50’s. Not her 20’s.
There were fluctuations in body temperatures. It seemed I’d been hot in the middle of the night. Not able to sleep peacefully. Maybe even sweaty at times. Cold during the day. Bundling up as if it was much colder outside than it actually was. Did anyone else suffer these same symptoms in my home? Nope. Did I look crazy? A bit. Was I sick? No. Well there you have it, my irregular cycle appeared. That in itself explains so much yet so little. This is part of my stage of life that is summed up as absolute fuckery.
The angry phase hit more than once this week. The shortness of patience was ever so present. The general irritability was constant. The need for space from people was daily. All of it. Mid life crisis at its best. Emotional roller coaster. High and lows. So much blah. There was push back from some around me. There was silence from others. Neither I’m fond of, but neither is experiencing my loads. Therefore those who don’t walk in my shoes cannot judge me.
Then there are the outlets. I ran some this week. I don’t care so much for running yet running seemed to free my mind from all the excess baggage it had this week. This is mental baggage. Not even the physical baggage associated with bloated in the stomach area or just inflammation in general from the craziness of an irregular cycle. Writing such as this is therapy as well. Settling my thoughts to find some method of the chaos. Whether I publish or not, I write.
Then I read an article about working women. All that a woman is expected to do and bear the title of mom on top of it. Big sigh. Yet nobody refers to a dad as a working dad. Such an irony. Thinking about this on top of everything else at times put me over the edge. Women get the short end of the stick. Balancing work / life / parenting while maintaining a household. Doctor appointments, medicine pick ups, school conferences, and and and. Many dads go off to work and just focus on a singular task for the day. Women have fireworks going off by the minute in contrast.
Running helped me this week. Going to the gym was a godsend. I might have performed the best I had in a while. Not sure the main reason for that but it was the outlet that was needed for me. Lift heavy shit. Run alone. Life is heavy in this season of life. Many can’t relate to one’s highs and lows thus lifting heavy shit helps me cope. Running on the other hand let’s me breathe the air. Recycle the airflow from within.
All of the above enabling me to deal with the stupidity of others. Giving me patience to watch others make mistakes. Showing grace when I literally want to dope slap somebody. And then there is the big one. Swallowing my pride when others crumble. I want to help many. It can be most difficult to watch one crumble or fold in front of you. It’s hard but sometimes it’s a needed step for others to grow despite it killing you a bit inside.
All while the above was circulating my week, there were also nightmares. Very distressing nightmares specific to immediate family members. Had one come to fruition I would be a basket case. Thankfully that wasn’t the case. However, it was a rude awakening of what could be. Why did I have these flashes and not the ones most directly impacted?
Whatever the reason, I had to feel all of that amidst my sleep which was already erratic. My days became longer. My wakes became harder. My time became less productive. My mind raced all the time. My week was summed up as unsettling.
The good news is I’m still here. I’m refocused to a certain extent. I’m ready for a scenery break to fully reset my mind and body. Don’t ever underestimate the change in surroundings. It’s often said you become what you surround yourself with. Success breeds success. In order to grow or shift out of a funk of any kind you need to pivot. Step away from the ordinary to experience variety.
Make sure you have a slush fund of sorts for your mid life crisis moments. Maybe it’s a new pair of shoes you splurge on. Maybe it’s a weekend away. Maybe it’s a trip of a lifetime. Maybe it’s just a cute pair of earrings you always wanted. Heck you may even want a sexy photo shoot.
Just do it. It’s self care. Therapy. The headaches, heartaches and shit will still be where you left it when you come back. I promise. The shit pile doesn’t go away. The break just helps you look at the shit a little differently. Life is all about perspective.
My perspective sucked most of this week. A little fresh air. Some pampering. Time away from annoying people. Socializing and exercising with people who share my fit lifestyle all helped in my reset. I slept a little sounder last night. I appreciate my life a little more today.
I am that girl working through this mid life crisis mess. Some days are easy. Some are not. Some weeks seem fun. Others seem ever so long. I’m not alone. Many struggle. Many women struggle. I’m writing today to say it’s okay. Whatever stage or phase you are in, you will push through it. It may be bumpy at time but that’s life.
2 Chicks and a blog 