$&7%# is all she wrote…

I made it through Saturday.

Then Sunday came along and I learned a few words. Observed my couch getting a beat down. I listened to hootin and hollering more than I care to reflect on.

Now it’s Monday. Same shit different day.

False start!

No foul.

Out of bounds, you ass!

Block in the back.

You suck!

Why isn’t the whistle blowing.

Take the time out.

YES!

Quiet for a few minutes. Maybe it’s half time? 

Friggin’ safety sucks. 

Are you kidding.

Whistle blows repeatedly.

Offsides.

Whistle blows.

False start.

It’s going to #6 be ready! said spectator.

Get out of bounds!

Spike it!

Ooooh.

Good job.

Jesus friggin’ Christ.

This is bullshit.

He got pushed!

He got pushed.

Over and over.

Watch the recap.

No penalty. 

Penalty declined.

Oh, what on earth could I possibly be writing about? Damn football. College football. NFL football. Monday Night Football. It’s all the same to me. A shit show on steroids.
Unfiltered chaos. Overwhelming negativity.

A big fat distraction at bedtime. An annoyance on the weekend. A time suck. An unnecessary event that includes rage, celebration, sportsmanship, and so much more. Why do people get so hyped up that they talk to the TV? Do they think the referee can hear them? Is a game really that personal? So crazy to me.

Is there a healthy level of watching football that doesn’t seem like it will cause a heart attack? Am I the only one that experiences this? I took a poll and apparently I’m not.

I don’t need to go to a bar for this kind a of people watching. I can be in my own house. I can go to a friend’s house where the guys are watching a game in the man cave. Sometimes it’s even a coed event and/or spectacle.

It’s hard to do your homework. It’s hard to pay your bills. It’s hard to have a phone conversation when others are acting like 2-year-olds having a tantrum because they didn’t get a sucker or toy at the store. 

How does one sum up this behavior? What does it do for our kids who are watching silently? Will this aggression spill over to a youth football game? Is there any logic in this chaos? Should one be able to control their emotions in the moment? This doesn’t even include alcohol which would only intensify the crazy.

Is there another equivalent to football in America that causes so much raw emotion amongst its spectators? Maybe a heavy metal concert. A violent hockey game? Just not sure.

I’m sure there is another side of football I can’t see at the moment because my judgment is clouded with all the noise and disturbance around me. Either way I found it fitting to jot down my environment during this insanity.  I thought somebody make get a chuckle out of it.

Are you a football fan?

Can you keep your behavior in check?

Are you an athlete?

I will invest in some headphones during football season to stay sane. At one point I thought a finger might have been severed with all the curse words I heard. Guess no cause for alarm. It’s just football.

Oh damn it’s just half time now! I need to get headphones now.