adventure, celebrations

2-23-23

Earlier I wrote about 2-2-23. A sequence of twos. Today I see a 2 and the set of 23s. Another oddity of numbers but significant numbers to me. So yet again I will write a numbers post or maybe it’s a date post or maybe it’s just a post about me in some way.

51 years ago I was born. Thus I will celebrate me today. All day. As if I hadn’t already celebrated myself all month. Nonetheless today is about me. I guess I’ll take you old school and write about just me.

Favorite food: pizza, most days

Favorite tv show: 1923 at the moment

Bucket list trip: Montana

Favorite season: spring 

Best adventure: Sand Dunes Oregon coast 

Best trip as a kid; Europe 

Current book: Spare 

Last movie at theatre: Avatar

Fun fact: I am fanatical about shoes

I already had my cake this week before my actual big day. A few nibbles each day. Carvel ice cream cake was the annual cake of choice. Nice steak dinner out for two. A fam bam dinner with the kiddos at a local hibachi place. A cool pen gift set complete with a journal to write all my secrets in. Some flashy workout tanks. A sweatshirt made by a friend. Some scents from the youngest. All around lots of cool treats and maybe a little neon signage too. Who doesn’t like a little neon in their life. 

I share my special day with three of my neighbors from a few years back which is odd but a cool footnote. I share the date with a friend’s son and this this I found out I share it with a distant acquaintance. Pisces girls and boys united by the special date. Different years. Different cities. Different stories. Still a common denominator.

And of course there was a birthday bash. A girls day at the spa. I was all in for that. Then a swanky pizza joint. Added a few more pals to mix and hit the graffiti paint place for a little art session. And if that wasn’t enough we were going to get a flight of tasty slushy drinks. The over 21 kind, but we were a little tired and called for a rain check on the last part. Don’t worry we will get to it soon.

I ate good.

I got spoiled.

I got my free Starbucks.

I had lobsta for lunch.

I read many amazing texts.

I enjoyed my all the Insta birthday stories.

I read a few cards.

I appreciated the phone calls.

I may or may not be a little wiser.

I had fun with many special people.

I even volunteered on my birthday. 

All the communication makes my cup overflow with positivity. I proudly sported my aging slogan on my chest this year. See photo proof below. That may or may not have let strangers know I was celebrating me today.

The month is not all over yet but I am now 51. In my old age I must move on to conquer other things and say goodbye to the year of 50. It’s been fun. It’s been challenging. It’s been memorable. My 2nd half of life has officially begun.

Where will I go?

What will I do?

Who will be along for the ride?

Stay tuned….

challenges

PSA #42

I’m not a doormat.

I don’t appreciate being taken advantage of.

Your lack of planning doesn’t constitute an emergency on my part.

I have a schedule. 

I have feelings.

I have a to do list like most people.

If you ask I’m willing to help anyone.

If you demand I help, see where it gets you.

Are you a giver in life?

Have you felt like a doormat before?

Did you let others know how you felt?

I did.

They didn’t like it.

Will they change?

Who knows. It’s really up to them to look in the mirror and decide for themselves.

Did I change? Yes I did. I’m less trusting. I’m guarded. I’m bitchier. I’m proud of myself.

Today I gave to many. Unfortunately many close to me took advantage of me. My time. My mental energy. My talents. My pride. My joy. My rest. My smile. It was replaced with anger, frustration and grief. Did anyone even notice?

Overnight I have to glue myself back together. Dust off my crown and smile big tomorrow. For I have people relying on me in many facets of my professional life. I do all this over and over again. Sadly the people closest don’t see how their own selfishness impacts me in many ways. 

Part of me thinks they just don’t care. Other parts of me think they just expect me to do, do, do because I always have.

Did I put a sign on me that said I’m a doormat go ahead and wipe your feet? I don’t recall doing something so absurd. Not sure where this happened but it did.

I’m tired of entitlement.

As I ring in 2021. I am hitting the pause button on being nice. I’m shifting to me, me, me. I’m really the only one I can count on.  

I guess I’m thankful for 2020 and all its fuckery so I could clearly see what’s been in front of me for years. With the slowdown of life I just had more time to see it happening. In slow motion. Truly sad but true.