Tag: aging

challenges, dare to be different

Life Over 50

2chicksandapen

I never really thought much about life over 50. Well I did think it’s half way to 100 and I’m going to live well beyond 50. That is about the extent of my thoughts.

Now I am here and there are some great parts of life to celebrate and some parts that are down right shitty. I normally wouldn’t gravitate to the shitty side of life however I decided it’s worth writing about it. Mainly because others might benefit from this rant and I’ll have a placeholder to look back on.

Menopause. The word. Why does it even start with men! Why just why?

I’m 52 and change. I have my normal aches and pains. I also have my daily inconveniences. I need to use the bathroom more frequently. Sometimes even more urgently than others. Many times in the middle of the night. I know I’m not alone. This is probably high on the list of inconveniences since it impacts daily life.

The water cooler talks or should I say the womanly chats are not about what your favorite dinner spot is anymore! It’s more of what supplements are you taking? What are your symptoms? What’s working? What’s not working? Are your joints hurting? The list goes on and on. This stage of life I wasn’t ready for. I blinked and menopause was at my doorstep. Front and center.

Irregular cycles. The inconsistency can drive you crazy. Flat out crazy. Fatigue one day. Sleepless the next. As I write it’s 3am. I should be tired. I am tired. However I can’t sleep. I really can’t even get comfortable in bed. Nobody is awake to know I’m just sitting here idle. A new kind of alien time. How I used to sleep as in body positioning is now uncomfortable. My favorite pillow makes me hot now. My blankets are just right one minute. Then I’m hot, hot, hot. Zero consistency. Let me say that louder for those in the back. I have zero consistency in many areas of life in this phase.

Men. O. Pause. Men can pause. They can hit pause and run away. They can be supportive. They can think you are bat shit crazy. In the blink of an eye your normal is now a new normal and it’s hard enough to adjust to for you. What about others around you? Life is messy and I will say this is definitely a messy stage. Are you supported? Does your family think you have lost your grip on life?

The annual checkups get more complex. A mammogram. A colonoscopy. A full body skin check. A bone density scan. The list goes on and on. How does one even manage  without good insurance?

Somehow women push through the difficult stages of life. The teen years and all that goes along with it. Motherhood and the body changes, if that is your route. Raising kids and balancing life. Shifting to aging with grace. I’m in the aging with grace stage. The it’s time to have adult fun but balance with the blah of aging.

As I live through the muck of this stage of life I control what I can. My nutrition. My physical activity. My mental wellness. My circle of friends. My energy sucks. I choose wisely each day. It’s a requirement. If today I can sleep 9 hours, I choose sleep because another day this week I might not be so lucky. If I can get in an extra workout one day, I do it because the next two I might be sidelined. 

I’m adapting to change. I’m saying yes to the unknown. I’m saying a shift in my routine is okay. This is how I’m managing my chaos. Adaptability for me may be different than others. I’m 100% okay with that. If I don’t fit the box for someone around me, that’s okay too. I’m not a fit for everyone at every moment.

I have a plan for my day today to start at 7am. What happens at 10am, 2pm and 5pm may be different than I envisioned. Why? Well I may be tired from being up most of the night.  My body may say no thanks to what I originally planned. I may get moody and want to avoid people. This is a real fact of this stage and I am definitely a people person yet I like to avoid people sometimes. I’m adapting.

Adapting to change comes with other challenges. Impulsivity. The need to do something now. Immediately. My timeline not yours. Or maybe it’s stubbornness. No. No. No.  I’m not going x. I’m not doing what you want. It’s just a game of no, no, no. I could go on and on about this topic but I will hit pause.

I will pause here for women. I will say take a deep breath. Inhale that deep breath. Exhale that toxic air that seems to be hindering you today. It will probably come back again tomorrow and the next day. It’s life. It’s a phase. Just breathe through it. That’s what I’m doing. I’m taking the good with the bad. I’m breathing in the sunshine and exhaling the bullshit.

I’m celebrating me. Many may not understand this phase of life if they haven’t hit the wall. The men-o-pause wall. The wall men want you to pause at. Do you reflect and move on? Do you cower and seek refuge? As a strong and fiercely independent woman, I pause. I study. I reflect. I change. I pivot sometimes on what seems like just my big toe and I jump. I lunge forward to what’s next. What’s waiting for me, because that’s all I know.

I know to enjoy what life is left. Live life to the fullest. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed thus I will plunge forward. Look for my travel stories. Watch me adventure. My why will always be why not.  If you are reading this and feel stuck, get unstuck. Book a trip. Take a long walk. Find a new hobby. Find your joy. Do what makes you happy because you are living in this body of yours. Not the person next to you!

Stop comparing yourself to others. Don’t worry if you don’t fit the mold another wants. You focus on your survival of this stage in life. The people who stick around in this transitional phase are the true keepers in life. 

challenges, perspective, Uncategorized

Growth

2chicksandapen

I’ve been thinking a lot of growth lately. Not physically growing like increasing my waist size. I’m thinking more like overall development in multiple areas of life.

Trying new foods for example. Over the past few months I’ve been wanting to increase my daily protein intake. I’ve dialed into various resources to get some hints and best practices. A few takeaways to share:

Compounding protein. Find what you like and increase the dosage. 3 ounces of ham? Just double it. Yogurt, double it. Maybe find a sugar-free Greek version you like. Maybe even a yogurt drink. Mix it up if you can. For me this was a growth area, learning new ways to meet my protein objective for the day.

Aging. Not always a fun topic to discuss for folks my age as there are many trials and tribulations associated with those around the 50-year-old mark. However, I’ve been learning new things. I’ve learned to enjoy road tripping in a RV which is in itself a skill to master. Then I flip the switch to my youngest child who is turning 18. The growth going into adulthood is so much different yet full of learning opportunities for both the parent and the soon-to-be adult. New jobs. Legal responsibilities. Taxes. Higher education. Bills. The list goes on and on. 

New environments. This summer I opted to play a new sport: pickleball. Never played before. Never watched a match in person or on TV. I fell in love with the concept of learning. Meeting new people. Stepping into a new arena of sorts. Challenging myself to be better. To learn new methods. To learn the lingo. All in all it was a great experience socially, physically, and cognitively.

Attire: we all have our basic go-to items. The favorite jeans. The sweats. The leggings. The favorite shirt. In the past few months I opted for a short in a color I absolutely never wear. I chose a couple of button-up shirts that are really not my style but definitely fun to wear on occasion. I mixed up a stable go-to outfit with something new and some old to change up the look a little. These little modifications represented growth to me. Oddly different growth than many may celebrate but for me it was growth in my own way.

Patience: mastering and remastering my patience muscles. This is serious growth. Dealing with kids who keep coming back for x, y, and z requires patience and patience on steroids sometimes. Adjusting to work / life balances as you hit the empty nester milestone. The golden years. The muscles that need flexing dealing with changes in partners / spouses or other complicated family dynamics. As we age we must undergo a serious re-haul of our patience muscles, more than once.

As a reflection person, I like to celebrate moments like these. Small as they may be to some, they were valuable enough for me to share on here. With that being said I challenge you to self-reflect and think about your own growth.

Have you challenged yourself to climb a new mountain?

Have you decided to take a trip of a lifetime to a new destination?

Have you decided to take a leap of faith and try something new?

Have you been thinking about betting on yourself? Go for it! You will never grow if you stay stagnant. You will miss opportunity after opportunity. Don’t just put a toe in the sand. Run into the ocean and get wet. Get wet in life. That’s when you grow!

adventure, celebrations

2-23-23

2chicksandapen

Earlier I wrote about 2-2-23. A sequence of twos. Today I see a 2 and the set of 23s. Another oddity of numbers but significant numbers to me. So yet again I will write a numbers post or maybe it’s a date post or maybe it’s just a post about me in some way.

51 years ago I was born. Thus I will celebrate me today. All day. As if I hadn’t already celebrated myself all month. Nonetheless today is about me. I guess I’ll take you old school and write about just me.

Favorite food: pizza, most days

Favorite tv show: 1923 at the moment

Bucket list trip: Montana

Favorite season: spring 

Best adventure: Sand Dunes Oregon coast 

Best trip as a kid; Europe 

Current book: Spare 

Last movie at theatre: Avatar

Fun fact: I am fanatical about shoes

I already had my cake this week before my actual big day. A few nibbles each day. Carvel ice cream cake was the annual cake of choice. Nice steak dinner out for two. A fam bam dinner with the kiddos at a local hibachi place. A cool pen gift set complete with a journal to write all my secrets in. Some flashy workout tanks. A sweatshirt made by a friend. Some scents from the youngest. All around lots of cool treats and maybe a little neon signage too. Who doesn’t like a little neon in their life. 

I share my special day with three of my neighbors from a few years back which is odd but a cool footnote. I share the date with a friend’s son and this this I found out I share it with a distant acquaintance. Pisces girls and boys united by the special date. Different years. Different cities. Different stories. Still a common denominator.

And of course there was a birthday bash. A girls day at the spa. I was all in for that. Then a swanky pizza joint. Added a few more pals to mix and hit the graffiti paint place for a little art session. And if that wasn’t enough we were going to get a flight of tasty slushy drinks. The over 21 kind, but we were a little tired and called for a rain check on the last part. Don’t worry we will get to it soon.

I ate good.

I got spoiled.

I got my free Starbucks.

I had lobsta for lunch.

I read many amazing texts.

I enjoyed my all the Insta birthday stories.

I read a few cards.

I appreciated the phone calls.

I may or may not be a little wiser.

I had fun with many special people.

I even volunteered on my birthday. 

All the communication makes my cup overflow with positivity. I proudly sported my aging slogan on my chest this year. See photo proof below. That may or may not have let strangers know I was celebrating me today.

The month is not all over yet but I am now 51. In my old age I must move on to conquer other things and say goodbye to the year of 50. It’s been fun. It’s been challenging. It’s been memorable. My 2nd half of life has officially begun.

Where will I go?

What will I do?

Who will be along for the ride?

Stay tuned….

challenges, fitness and nutrition

Grow Bolder, Not Older

2chicksandapen

The 100th Day of School.

Full of fun and games, snacks and celebrations, all kinds of counting everywhere you turn.

And then the invitation to look like the theme: “Dress like you’re 100 years old.”

I’m trying to use what I already have…shop my closet if you will. So I grabbed a white bobbed wig from a recent adventure, then went to choose my clothes, which led to all kinds of imagining. If I live to 100, what would I want my life to be like? I had some of my mom’s old frocks from the 70’s. A muu-muu? A hospital gown?

As I often try to do, I responded to the call in an unexpected way. I knew from previous years that my colleagues would show up with walkers, medicine bottles, and curlers in their hair. But with my sassy white bob I thought to myself, what do I *want* 100 to be like? What am I working for right now?

If I had my way, I’d be living on a beach in a relatively modest home because I’d also be spending a lot of time in active travel. Globe trotting, enjoying life. Savoring sunsets. Life would be an actual parade, not just a parade of doctor’s appointments. And so I donned a colorful kimono over my leggings and sandals.

When I got to school, my hunches were spot on. As I floated around the hallway, I saw lots of gray hair spray, canes and crutches, frumpy fashion. Is this really what we have kids looking forward to? It’s no wonder being older has a stigma. If life is just a collection of pains and prescriptions, moving slow with things falling apart, who would be excited to get there? And how can we let them know that the decisions they make today can help them create the future they want to have, physically, mentally, emotionally and for their all-around health?

Many kids and even co-workers giggled when they saw my take on the theme. Some asked me about it…I just said I plan to be active, vibrant, and living my best life when I hit triple digits. I may not be able to control everything about aging, but I can control my attitude about it. I can control my eating habits and exercise. I can keep my mind nimble and my stress as low as I can. With that and some luck, hopefully I will avoid the walker and embrace the wanderlust.

hustle, mental health

Balls Dropping

2chicksandapen

The first mistake was a little puzzling. An email I missed. I read it, then forgot about it. The day the task needed completion, my colleague reached out to me to see when she could pick up her request.

A shock went through my body. Suddenly a very full day had a complicated work task dropped in the middle of it. I pushed through and completed it satisfactorily, but maybe not as thoroughly as I would have otherwise.

A couple of days later, my boss emails me to ask if I had made the classroom signs she requested.

The same shock and disbelief followed. Really? I totally forgot a work task again, and this time for my boss?

I won’t bore you with the details…suffice it to say I dropped ball after ball after ball this month. There were loads of things I honestly just forgot. To the point where I was concerned about myself. This is pretty uncharacteristic of me…sure, I may procrastinate at times, but to completely forget again and again?

This leads to the question…what caused this? Could it be menopause? General aging? Stress? Lack of sleep? Loss of focus due to the wearing on of the pandemic? Or maybe it is the family crisis that hit a couple of months ago. Who knows.

It really doesn’t matter. I don’t like the feeling of being incompetent. I don’t like tasks biting me in the butt out of nowhere. So much of my job is supporting others, and I feel physically ill when I let others down.

It’s just a mystery. I’m trying to just observe it, notice it, and not beat myself up over it. Easier said than done, but I am trying.

I’m back to making more lists. Slowing down when I can to read emails and take notes in meetings more carefully. Hopefully this was just a brief episode in life that blows over, and I’ll be back to my usual remembering self from now on. I’m just documenting here to share life’s ups and downs, hoping I’ll look back on this as just another bump in my road.