Author: 2chicksandapen

challenges, change

Stand Back

2chicksandapen

Hands off.

Stand back.

Let things take their course.

This is hard for many of us when we are watching what could be a slow motion tragedy unfolding. It’s especially hard for helpers (see my enneagram for more). I want to help. I want to fix. I want to make it all better for the people I care about.

I have been a helper for as long as I can remember. Being a helper is alive in my profession. It’s alive in my volunteer positions. It’s key to how I shape my days. So telling me not to help is like telling me to not be myself.

I have grown to understand that I have to fill my own cup first. This was a big step for me. I can’t help others if I am empty myself. But this is different…In the past few years, I’ve heard the cries of friends telling me that sometimes doing for others really isn’t a help. It robs them of the chance to gain their own power, self-esteem, self-worth. Still, I had a hard time stepping away when people asked for my help. Heck, I even offered help when it wasn’t even asked for.

Push finally came to shove in a situation and I had to step back. The bridge to help was too wide to cross, so I somehow let it go. I worked through the guilt. The shame. The pain. And just let others take the reins of their troubles and their successes.

This enabling isn’t always an easy pattern to break, especially in the beginning. There is time and energy to redirect. All the feelings and urges have to be tamped down. It may sound a little self-serving to say it hurts not to help, but it’s true.

It has taken time. What has surprised me is hearing from loved ones that they don’t hate me or disapprove of me standing back. That secret worry has not come to pass, at least not to my face. If there are people out there who are disappointed in me, close up, far away, or even not with us anymore, they have not shared with me.

And after some time and restraint, it has been rewarding to watch people begin to take control of their lives. Is it an immediate success? No. There are bumps and setbacks and disappointments. I can try to be there to support during these times and listen. I can think about what is truly necessary and try to provide some of that. But I really default to staying back and letting the person sort it out themselves. They are strengthening their own muscles whether they like it or not.

I find myself becoming more self-reliant and independent in the wake of these decisions. I also feel a little less me, but I am living with that. I am learning what boundaries work for me and my resources…time, emotion, financial, and more.

working women

Gains

2chicksandapen

Nothing ventured. Nothing gained.

If we never take risks in life we may miss out on big rewards. On the flip side instead of rewards we could belly flop if we take the wrong risk. This is the life of an entrepreneur.

Those who risk it all for something but know nothing may be the end result. Those who bank on their own instincts and gut. Those who drive their own path without hesitation.

Today I gained.

Yesterday I lost.

The net result of the year was positive. Will next year be a high or low? What will I need to do in 2023 to rebuild, reinvest, or refocus my priorities? The ever changing landscape, I call life.

Buying.

Selling.

Upgrading.

Repurposing.

Shuffling.

Juggling.

I think multitasking is engrained in my soul. Tomorrow’s dream has now become today’s reality. Yesterday is now a history lesson. The horizon shows promise yet I’m unsure of my direct path. The curiosity. The chaos. The calm. The storm. The can’ts. Then the cans. Then the wills. Then the now.

It’s time to go beyond. Time to find what’s still achievable. Time to discover new limits. Off I go to live my next adventure.

fitness and nutrition

Challenge Time

2chicksandapen

At the end of November I decided I would post a fitness picture a day online or a combo of days online to show my activity in December 2022. The main reason for such was to document a month of consistency to me, but then I thought sharing my story may inspire others. That’s how I ended up with this post. It somewhat accents my online photo reel.

As my plan was put in motion, out of the blue a virtual challenge was mentioned in one of my fitness groups. Off I went to conquer my updated goal. For me. To add another layer to my consistency plan for December 2022. A few friends joined in on the virtual challenge. I made my first entry and I was hooked. It was the entry that got me. A light bulb went off of how being active is one thing but tracking it is another.

A national leaderboard holds you somewhat accountable. The logging of an activity holds you accountable. Doing it with friends adds an accountability layer. Much like tracking your nutrition, tracking your exercise is critical to long term success. What gets measured gets done. This added layer will justify those holiday cookies I suppose.

Progress picture one is done at the time of this post. I’ve spent 10 miles on the assault bike already. The first of many I’m sure. Not my favorite piece of equipment but one I will use for this month more than I like. I may even take a hike with a ruck if the rain lets up in my area. Something I wouldn’t normally consider but will entertain due to this challenge of sorts. Off I go.

In addition to the ruck action, I dusted off my Concept 2 bike erg at home. I used to regularly use this back in 2020 pre-corona as my second workout of day but let that go some time ago. Now I’m back in that saddle on the days I can make it outside due to weather or other reasons. 

Six days in and I knocked out some 20,000 meters. Just a mere 79,xxx to go. No big deal. I have a week of travel planned so I must stay on track the half of the month to meet my goal or at least give me a cushion. Look for an update on the coming weeks to see how I fared.

3Splitz Farm

Welcome All or Not?

2chicksandapen

Well this Thanksgiving was a bit unusual when I think about the guest list or maybe I should say the uninvited guest list.

Let’s just take a look at this slithering shiny black snake who decided it would be great to join the Thanksgiving festivities at our little mountain cabin. Rustic paradise may be how I refer to the cabin but that doesn’t include snakes of any kind. It you consider the counter height, the kink in the snake in the photo and how it wraps along the baseboard, I’d guess this sucker to be 6 foot or more!

This big, long and creepy-looking thing greeted our guests as soon as they opened the door. Had it have been me, I might have let out a scream that would have sounded as if someone was bludgeoned to death in the valley. This creeper made its way to a cozy spot right behind the coffee maker nestled between the wall and the countertop. A space I didn’t think would hold such a big snake, yet it did. I’m still in disbelief to an extent.

Enter a friend who somehow got voluntold to be a snake wrestler for the day. She was a trooper and I have video to prove it. That snake was not happy we interrupted it’s Thanksgiving field trip inside! He or she was a little nippy. See the below photo. Attempting to nip at the wrestler’s hand on more than one occasion. Although the snake is not venomous, nobody wanted to get bit! Thanksgiving is about feasting not being the feast. I of course added being marked safe from snake to my thankful list this year.

Before the festivities even began, rustic paradise was a little creepy in my mind. I’m glad thanksgiving wasn’t ruined by the uninvited guest. For now this is just a story for our memory book. One I hope never resurfaces again. Hoping my uninvited snake decided my neighbor’s house was warmer this Thanksgiving after being evicted from our cabin!

As I wrap up this post I’ll leave you with this parting goodbye photo. Even with a humane goodbye the snake was staring down the snake wrestler who took him/her out of the warmth of the cabin with determination. A death stare of sorts even when hanging by thread 50 foot in the air.

inspire

Views

2chicksandapen

When I travel I take a lot of pictures. Mostly to capture memories. However, sometimes I stumble upon great shots when the photo reel is reviewed later. For this post I decided to post a few of my favorite or special views from near and far over the past several months along with a few quirky shots I’m tossing in for either humor or flair.

This gem came from a recent RV trip in the Tennessee mountains. The glows at different times of day were nothing short of amazing. The rays between the clouds reflected so nicely off the water. The mountains in layers was a great accent to create the overall beautiful view. From high spots to low spots each area we visited highlighted the water, the mountains and the trees just a little differently but so beautiful.

Coffee art. Oh how I am a fan. I have no clue how to make such art but I really can’t refuse some warm cups full of fancy coffee drinks with artistic flair. This gem was compliments of a local coffee shop owned by a friend.

Two pals just horsing around. No pun intended, right? This photo comes straight from 3Splitz Farm in Blairsville, Georgia. I may be a fan of the owners but there is nothing more beautiful than seeing horses enjoy a play day in the pasture. Whether up close like this or viewing from the deck above, the unique views are always a pleasure.

It’s not your basic to do list. As it it’s not on paper or a whiteboard. It’s permanently tattooed on a person’s inner thigh documenting cool milestones they are celebrating. A reminder of strength, courage and resilience. Red indicating complete. Blank showing what’s on the horizon. In this instance the person took out a thin sharpie to note completion of the 50k race since it’s not time to re-ink the tattoo yet. This is a fun one to think about.

My dinner plate. Grilled salmon, broccoli, zucchini and the little lemon for flavor. Folded up in aluminum foil, this is a quick and easy healthy dish to add into your week. So tasty. So filling. Just so happens to be healthy.

This photo is one for the record book. A tourist visit to Voodoo Donuts in Portland, Oregon to see what all the hype was about. Wasn’t I surprised when I was video chatting with my mom on donut selections only to see a donut called Cock N’ Balls! Design no less than a dick or a penis. And yes I did buy one and traveled home by plane with it to show my friends. Yes, that I did.

I’m a sucker for a sunset. I’m a sucker for reflection photos in water. Every second seems so different. The colors change so quick. This was a favorite from a summer trip out west. A beautiful day with friends and family exploring new destinations.

A view from the summer. The reflection of the clouds. The stillness of the morning while the water was idle. The old boardwalk posts sitting there serving no purpose added to the ambience. The still and calm of this photo keeps it as one of my favorites.

On the streets of New Orleans this spring . My Golden friend was earning money flipping people off. This is real life. This photo brings up so many questions for who thinks of this idea? Who puts money on the bucket? Does this person make a living this way? For now I will just think since the person doesn’t flinch. Rather he just flips off the passers by.  Would you drop a dollar or two in the bucket?

I’m ending this photo reel on a unicorn note. A colorful collection of sticky notes. An accent pen. All together with a miniature unicorn piñata. A cool gift set I received that brings nothing but giggles when I look at it. I don’t so much use the items for their functionality, rather I use it to decorate a fun office space I have. Just because.

I hope these 10 shots brought you some enjoyment. Maybe they made you curious. Possibly they could cause you to take a trip. Whatever you fancy, I’m happy to have shared these few moments I captured and noted as views. My views.