challenges

Too Much Poop

One poop.

Two poops.

Three poops.

My puppy decided to sneak into my home office to poop. Not once. Not twice, but three times! The stinky poops in an average size home office space. Stink lingered but there is a back story.

Poop one was spotted upon entry to the office. Off I went to get Lysol, paper towels, swiffer and so on. Cleaned up only to see poop pile two lurking in the general vicinity. Seriously, I said to myself. Back for more paper towels to clean round two. I thought I was done. I put the cleaning supplies away. Washed my hands and burned a candle to offset the stink.

I settled back into my chair or cockpit. Answered some calls. Sent some emails. Wrote on my to do list. All the while it smelled like poop. I couldn’t figure out why the scent was lingering. I went to the restroom and realized the stink followed!

Poop was on my shoe. I had to clean my shoe, the trail to the bathroom and so on. Back to the chair I go thinking I’m done and ready to work. Nope! Not the case at all. The poop bandit left me a third gift of poop that I didn’t notice initially. Little booger did it under my chair. My rolling chair. The one with wheels with tiny little crevices where the wheel attaches to the base.

I wanted to take a deep breath. I wanted to scream. I maybe even wanted to cry. Why this on a Monday. Not a good way to start a day let alone a week. It was a shit fest. A nasty mess to clean.

Off I went again for supplies. Cleaned. Cleaned some more. Cleaned again to be sure. Today was the day to clean and disinfect. 

One poop.

Two poops.

Three poops.

No more poops.

I definitely had my share of poops.

This poop saga was too poopy not to share. I hope you enjoyed a little giggle at my expense. I think I would have liked to deal with three explosive baby diapers than three dog poops with my circumstances. pile of poo

challenges

Creepy Spiders

These black and yellow nuisance spiders are everywhere. I wake in the morning to their newly spun webs when I take my dogs out. They are not thin webs you just pass through. They are crafted by web masters who want you to feel their presence. The stick to you Like glue. The spiders themselves grow and multiply like nothing I’ve ever scene.

That web hits you. Sticks to you. Startles you. As you get the creeps, you look quickly for the lurking spider that is somewhere watching you. Then when you see it, you realize you are doomed. There are eggs in the webbing. And normally friends come over at night and camp out in their adjacent web. before you know it there is a colony of spiders surround your house. I had a legit panic attack when I got caught in the chaotic web this morning.

This past weekend I found them on my vehicle. From the side mirror to the back of the car. Across the truck bed on another vehicle. We even left one and road on the highway. 75 Miles per jour and that damn spider sat it’s it’s web like it was having the ride of its life. Maybe these spiders are going to take over.


If you go on vacation, beware. The suckers multiply and grow much like a weed. I house sat last week and the spider infestation  was disgusting at best. Black and yellow spiders need to go far away. However it seems my community is ground zero for these invasive spiders. Most people I know are plagued with them. They are just foul.

I will Most likely have spider nightmares tonight after writing this creepy post. Hope you enjoyed the creep Factor included in This post. Look at the spiders lurking in the air but it’s really that carefully spun web of nastiness.

Did I mention I don’t like spiders?

challenges

It Was So Quiet

It was just so quiet one day at the house. You could hear the cars pass by on the road. You could hear the creaks in the floor. It was just quiet.

Then there was a fart. A long fluttering fart sound. Like a machine gun that was firing multiple rounds. It was loud. Like a series of firecrackers. It caused a big disturbance. The dog barks. The dog growls. The dog smells the air. The dog barked at the air. The dog sniffs the air again with discontented look.

I was in awe. The dog left the scene in pure disgust. Will the dog think about returning? I have no idea but this was so amazing to witness.

The sheer sound effects of the fart and its longevity in sound effects was probably one for a record book, but the reaction of the dog was absolutely memorable. 

The lingering hang time in air was flattering from an accomplishment perspective but the stench was just awful. I guess eating healthy has its benefits but sometimes can cause a gassy reaction.

But who actually farted? Why did I recount the story? How many will literally die laughing when they read it?

Well I read it back and laughed a good bit. I hope you enjoyed the fart encounter. It was a real life scenario. I experienced it first hand and I am happy to say I lived to tell the story.
Smell you stinkers later.

perspective

Bird Poop

Birds fly by, zoom zoom. Nobody cares. General flights of birds cause no harm to humans. Life goes on for many.

Birds fly by and poop on your car and people get annoyed. It’s gross. You have to clean it and some times it’s just overly nasty. Again, life goes on.

Birds fly by and one launches a missile of turd on you, a human. Gross is not the word that comes to mind. It’s more like a shriek, eww, nasty and so many more words. A wet splatter. A solid turd. All combined in white, black, yellow coloring. Do you think they say ready, set, aim? Do they think the world below is a modern day potty?

I heard it’s good luck to be shit on by bird. I guess only time will tell if luck is on my side. I will tell you however that a bird shitting on you doesn’t feel good.

It’s wet. It’s dirty. It’s gooey. It’s just down right gross. I’m sparing you a picture on this one but felt it was important to share the rarity of being shit on by a bird.

I guess we have all been shit on by a human at some point in life and that is most likely more long-term suffering than a quick splat that is gone as soon as you cleanse the area.

Do you think birds carry corona? Just a random share on this hump day.