Category: family

adventure, family

It’s Just 4 Inches

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It’s a Saturday and the day is planned. The weather man calls for snow the night before. They could be wrong, right? I’ll have my duck boots ready just in case. They are normally just for fashion but I guess they have a purpose.

It’s a chilly 31 degrees at my house and the flurries start early. The day’s activities are cancelled, but it’s not the end of the world. It’s just time to have some fun in the snow.

First attraction is the snow itself. Living in the south we see snow once a year if we are lucky. For us this is the first snow in two years. The smartphones start rolling. Instagram pictures across town now become my weather channel.

We snuck out for a quick coffee and puppicino (basically whipped cream in a cup). I have a Jeep so we were okay to drive in the dusting that had appeared at this point.

Now it’s time to see how the puppy likes the snow. She isn’t sure at first but quickly adapts. At one point I think she put her paw prints in every inch of my yard. Round and round she goes. And her cute coat is full of mini snowballs all tangled in her fur. Funniest thing ever. Yes we had to use a blow dryer to get them out.

Then it was a snowy photo shoot with the teen. It was silly but fun at the same time.
It didn’t seem terribly cold while outside either. I can definitely say that this was my first snow day photo shoot but any time spent with my girl is fun and if this is what she wanted to do, I was all for it.

Coming in and taking off the boots, jacket, scarf and hat had me remembering my childhood days of playing in much deeper snow and the excitement of coming in for a hot cocoa with extra marshmallows.

Today we will bake cookies, knock out some laundry, watch movies and do a bunch of nothing. Some days it’s good to do a bunch of nothing. I’m also about to eat some nice chicken soup after playing in the snow. And it definitely hit the spot.

As I see online some of my friends enjoying the snow their way. I see one taking advantage of the hot tub they have. Another jumping on a trampoline. Another just enjoying a coffee and a fire. Somebody even looked super cute on the roadside in a ditch. They were safe but definitely looked cute in their workout outfit. Another had a makeshift sled made out of pool lounger. It did work. However my friends chose to spend the day, I am just glad they all had fun. Some unexpected fun.

I normally don’t get excited about 4 inches. Somehow, the cold and fluffy 4 inches of snow was refreshing. I guess it’s all about perspective. 4 inches can really be a lot of fun.

Funny when I wrote this my niece told me meh, 4 inches was nothing compared to her 18 inches in Vermont the same day. I can safely say I never want to live anywhere it snows that much.

If you had a snow day this year I hope it was a good one just like mine. If you have an abundance of snow days, I just hope you like snow. On a side note I enjoyed the dusting of snow but I really enjoy the sunshine, the beach and the warmer climates all that much more. And that’s why I will spend next week in the sunshine state (Florida).

family, health

Getting Old Sucks

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Getting old sucks on many levels. Your joints hurt. You become less flexible. Your hair either falls out or turns grey. You mobility eventually diminishes. And then your mind starts slipping. What doesn’t suck about all that?

Watching a loved one deteriorate is as debilitating as watching an addict dip deeper into their darkness. You see it in the coloring of their face. You see it in their gait. Maybe even in the speech or memory. You see it in their eyes. You see it. You live it. You hurt because of it. It’s a rippling and crippling effect if you let it consume you.

Its hard to watch whether near or far. Its challenging to not be consumed with the stress and worry as loved ones make hard decisions over and over again. Is it the right choice? Would I make that choice? Was enough money saved to cover the exorbitant care for seniors at a staffed facility? Will the staff take good care of your loved ones or is it more like sending them off to jail?

So many questions. No real answers. I don’t want to grow old for this reason alone. I want to stay as youthful as I can and live every day as if it was my last. In my experience elders of today don’t want to burden their adult children who live busy and hectic lives. I get that but then I think fast forward to when I am old. My kids grew up in a whole different world than I did. Landscape may be the same but the environment is so different. How will my kids handle me when I am older? I don’t even want to know the answer to that.

How will my family react when I reach the age of interventions and difficult decisions? I think it is time for a time capsule of sorts. One that will list my wishes as of today while I am of sound mind and body. Not my will and who gets what in my estate. What I need to remind myself of when its time to make the hard decisions that I might be too emotionally invested in to see the forest for the trees. One that can be a reminder when I am old and stubborn of what it was like when I was faced with the challenges of managing my parents’ future golden years and / or torture years as end of life nears.

Death is never anything one wants to talk about yet it is always something one should be aware of. Sudden death. Accidental death. Tragic death. Natural death. They all lead to the same harsh reality. And there is always a mess to clean up. A funeral. Tidying up of affairs. Settling unfinished business. Coping with the sorrow of loss. Moving on without that person(s). Wishing for just one more day. One more holiday. One more birthday.

I wrote this post before the tragedy involving Kobe Bryant and the others who perished in the helicopter crash (big news story). This would classify as a tragic and unexpected death. One that has lots of suffering for the ones left behind. Tomorrow is never promised. Make sure you tell those around you how important they are to you each and every day. You don’t want to live with the regrets if you are confronted with an unplanned death.

This isn’t a happy or sad post. Rather it is a matter of fact, in-your-face kind of think-out-loud post. One that may make you think of those aging close to you or maybe it may make you think of future planning or maybe it will even have you crying because of your past history. Whatever category you fall into, thanks for reading. This is just my vent to the world as I mutter my way through the life of aging with my once active folks who are now ornery, lonely, troubled, and at wit’s end with what to do next for 101 reasons.

I also thought I would publicly share that when I am old, I plan to be in the Senior Olympics. The event is still undetermined but I do plan to excel in whatever event chooses me. Betty White, an original Golden Girl, turned 98 about the time I wrote this post. The radio referred to her a sex symbol back in her day so I figure I can be a Senior Games athlete in my future. xoxo from cyber space

family

August, Where Did You Go?

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School is back in session. Child #3 is living her best life as a teen. Not quite ready to drive, but on the path to turning 21….in her mind anyway. Fall sports and a robust social life are in full swing as well keeping adults on the go or in the car! Check out me and my mini…

Work, work, work. Some say summer is slow, but for me I go, go, go. Keeping up with purpose work, professional engagements, community involvement, household chores and so on. I blinked and the month has come and gone.

Big things are in motion for my boys. Each charting their own path but lots of hustle and promise on the horizon. Moments like this make me celebrate being a mom.

Travel time. I had a little adventure to see my family up north. Good times, good memories. 2 kids in tow to visit the grandparents. Time well spent with relatives I don’t get to see often. Recharged and ready. Bring on Fall and all its adventure.

Cool Fall air has got to be on the horizon now that September is here. August has been way too hot. Despite the heat, I had a blast this summer. Fun fashion stops. Retail therapy on steroids. Plane rides, train rides, scooter rides and Uber rides made my summer one to remember.

As September sets in, its time to focus and wrap up the year. What’s left on the agenda? More writing of course!

adventure, family

On the Move

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Life is full of adventures. With me, you never know which road I am going to take or which path. That’s what makes me special. Just when you think you know my patterns, I will change things up.

I beat to my own drum, as my Mom would say. I find the road less traveled interesting. What scares some excites me.

I am on the move. Changing my scenery. My front yard. My back yard. The four walls of my home are changing. Going back to the basics. I hear my oldest brother in the background saying “What are you a gypsy? Moving again?” Just living my best life, I reply. I can live big or I can live small or anything in between. Some choose to stay in one fixed place for their life. Not me. I am on the move!

I am trading in the nice house in the prestigious suburban planned community for a more quaint home on a decent-sized plot of land. A little more privacy. A little less home owners association rules. A few more birds chirping. And lot less cleaning to do.

Thank you Zillow for the hours and hours of entertainment from the convenience of my comfy couch. I feel I am an HGTV expert and I know love bathrooms, kitchens, renovations and the endless possibilities of revitalizing the old into the new.

A shock to some. A little peace to me. Happy to have supportive folks around me, crazy enough to ride my waves of change and live the excitement life can offer when you take chances.

Burning the candle at both ends they say. Early morning workouts (can’t miss), long work days (can’t miss) and then move, move, move. Lots of heavy lifting. Lots of shifting. Where to put things? How to re-organize life inside my four walls. Exciting and challenging all at the same time.

I opted to move myself. My family is a well-oiled machine. We band together to get things done when needed. Our time frame. Our labor. Our budget. This process is definitely not easy but I am happy with the progress. My body, on the other hand, is beginning to think I am a bit crazy for the torture it is going through currently, but like all things this phase will soon pass.

Started to add the personal touches to make the house a home. I even did my first DIY project: I chalked a mirror that didn’t fit into my new space as it did in the old one. Pretty fun project. Very simple and cheap ($7 can of spray paint). The outcome was better than expected since I am not super crafty. The cool thing about this piece is its purpose. A welcome board. A sign-in space of sorts. An autograph board. A leave-a-positive-message place. So many uses. One tiny investment. A piece of renewable art within the house that can be forever changing. Need some color pop? Just change the color of the chalk. It’s the little things that make me smile.

Living my best life today. Keeping my perspective fresh. Stay tuned for updates on the dreadful moving process and upcoming DIY projects that are on the horizon. The awful stress of selling a home and having strangers trample through your house is happening at the same time. Not to mention your home is showcased online showing all your personal space.

Oh the comments people make on this or that. When you sell a house that is used, it’s normally lived in. Therefore the process of selling is annoying. Your house is supposed to be perfect yet lived in. Talk about an irony. Add kids, a busy life, and and and…

I figure why not write about it. I am an open book anyway.

Enjoy my rants.

anonymous letters, family

The Next Chapter Is In Motion

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Motion: fast motion, slow motion or no motion. Which one is it?

Right now, I would say we are stalled. Where do I go? Who will help me? What am I entitled to get? Why do things cost so much? Why do I have to pay for that? How can I get a job paying 40k/year with no training, experience or advanced degree?

I almost think high school needs a “Welcome to Adulthood” class as a required step for graduation. No sugar coating things. Make them live as an adult for 60 days. See how many pass that class! Much better choice than a baby class because if you can’t be an adult, you certainly shouldn’t have a baby anytime soon.

Welcome to adulthood. Welcome, my friend. Welcome to the world of bills, bosses, crappy work hours, and so much more. It’s called adulting!

Yes, adulting is the coveted thing smart ass teens long for. Their freedom. Their ability to make their own rules. Their ability to do or not do.

They forget when you cut the cord, nobody does your laundry. Nobody pays for your car insurance. Nobody pays for that cell phone you are on 24/7. Nobody pays for your haircuts, clothes or toiletries. Why do kids today think adulting is the thing to do right now?

Kids these days don’t think about savings accounts for a rainy day. They don’t think about what happens if they can’t pay their rent. They just think somebody will help them. A form of entitlement, I guess.

This isn’t just something I see from just my parenting lens. I see it with others. Maybe not all, but a lot of kids in the middle-class suburbs where my kids have been raised. Very different from my upbringing.

To get started, I must go back a short bit. To sum up the past 9-12 months of my life could only be categorized as an insane yet thrilling roller coaster ride with many twists, turns, ups, downs, loop-de-loops and all the insane tummy drops that go along with the above!

But during it all, I remained calm on most days. I relied on my friends and family for moral support and I endured a lot of sweat in the gym to keep me grounded. All of which got me to today with a big smile on my face. I may even drop 10 pounds from reducing my stress now that this big day is here. I’ll call this the turning point.

As I sigh on one chapter coming to an end, I grin with a new one beginning. I hold my head up high and cheer loud and proud for my middle child who graduates high school. Not the straight-A student but a hard worker with a heart of gold. He battled to get to this point, but he did it and I couldn’t be more proud of him!

As he enters adulthood with that diploma in hand, he will be ready to tackle his life adventures with confidence knowing he graduated. Wherever he travels, whomever he falls in love with, whatever trouble he gets in, or whatever career path he chooses, his momma will still be there for him through thick and thin.

It’s time to cut the cord! My role changes now. I am a supporter from this point forward. I am no longer a life guide, decision maker, and prime financial supporter. Turning into an adult comes with responsibilities and growth. His decisions may frustrate me at times but they’re his decisions to make. The big 18. The legal adult. Legal adults get bills, accountability and headaches.

He can choose to drink, smoke, get a tattoo or worse. He gets to choose and learn from mistakes as well as celebrate accomplishments. It’s his road/path/journey.

It’s funny when your know-it-all teens realize that soap, haircuts, gas and other things are expenses just like rent, food, clothing, vehicles, etc. The real world hits quickly. When you finish up school, it’s time to get a job and be a contributing adult. How quickly one learns that adulting sucks on most days!

It’s time to let child #2 soar to his new heights. My job is done for now. May he take the strength and wisdom I taught him over the years and springboard into his own level of happiness.

Dream big kiddo. Seize the day. You deserve the very best and I know the best is still ahead for you. Embrace life and all the experiences in front of you.

Choose your friends wisely and think before you make you make decisions with long-term consequences.

xoxo,
Your Mom