Tag: remembering

friendship, Uncategorized

The Day the Music Died

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It was music that bonded us.

One of the ways I volunteered for my daughters’ high school sports teams was to be their announcer. I didn’t mind being on the mic as many others do. Over time, as we would travel around to watch at other stadiums, we added touches to make the game experience more fun at home. One of these was a great playlist. I had been a DJ in college as well as a multi-instrument musician, so I loved doing this. But it was honestly too much to manage between music and announcing the game. I was so grateful when one of the moms on the team texted me in the early part of junior year, asking if I would mind if her husband come up and play music during the game. What a relief!

He made an instant impact on the game experience with his wise, witty, wonderful music choices. This man, a busy professional, constant volunteer, and dedicated family man, had taken the time to think through choices that would enhance the game experience and make the fans and players happy. A little thing that made a big difference. As an avid playlist maker myself, I loved it.

I didn’t really know him all that well before he came up and took that spot next to me in the booth. Off the field, he struck me as a truly solid friend and family man who always had a smile on his face and an affable spring in his step. On the field, I respected him…he had coached my daughter several times and was an uncanny balance of demanding and supportive. In one of my earliest memories of him, he pulled me aside one night on the rooftop of a random hotel as all the team parents socialized around a bonfire on one of those many summer club season trips. He told me how to help my daughter achieve her dreams. Totally unprompted, he came forward with advice and counsel just because he liked to help and encourage the girls he coached and cared about. Him in a nutshell.

Over the years we spent side by side in the booth, we shared many moments of elation, frustration, puzzlement, and awe as our daughters and their teammates took on opponents.

We also shared many laughs as we tried to match songs to the situations on the field. All were funny…even as some were borderline cheeky or a little inappropriate. All the “rain” and “storm” songs we would play to an empty stadium while on a lightning delay. The songs abut waiting while the refs had long discussions about calls. Special songs for different girls on the team. Songs about shots, misses, winning, etc. It was like a little game of name that tune. A sing along we had in the press box. Taking turns to see if we could name the artists and titles. Who could think of a song to match the situation. Dancing in our seats. It was the music that bonded us. And the love for the sport, the team, and our daughters.

He is gone now. Murdered in a senseless act of violence. The void he has left impacts many.

As I miss him, thoughts of him come to me in songs all the time. When I am working out, listening on my drive….there will be a line and boom I think of him. I often smile as my eyes well with tears, thinking of those who miss him and the legacy of service he leaves behind. Cheers to ordinary heroes and the moments they make in the lives of many. We miss you, my friend.

… Kudos, my hero
Leavin’ all the mess
You know my hero
The one that’s on

… There goes my hero
Watch him as he goes
There goes my hero
He’s ordinary.

-Foo Fighters

Cheers to ordinary heroes and the moments they make in the lives of many. We miss you, my friend.

celebrations

That Time of Year

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Graduations. Awards ceremonies. End of year gatherings. Oh how fortunate one feels to be in public this year celebrating others. A gift of sorts. Really it is if you compare it to what others missed in 2020.

For me I’m selfishly excited. First I’m happy to celebrate others. Next to celebrate being able to celebrate at all. And finally to secretly honor those who missed their chance last year. The chance they can’t get back as time has moved on.

As we celebrate in any fashion this year let’s think of those who missed out last year. Some missed graduation. Others missed a normal funeral to honor a loved one lost. Many missed their wedding day. Some missed a big award day they waited many years to be a part of. Maybe even a final season of one’s sports team was missed. 

This year I went to a graduation. It was masked. It was socially distanced. It was different. But I was able to participate and celebrate the graduate. I didn’t take that lightly this year. While waiting I had many thoughts or reflections. It’s was an eye-opening experience in many ways. An awakening.

I went to a college signing event this year. I listened to the stories. The athletes who sustained season ending injuries in 2019 causing pain and rehabilitation to prepare for 2020 seasons only to have a pandemic hit. Only to emerge in 2021 to rise again and overcome. I would have missed these stories as they are not in the headlines yet deserve a spotlight as do the other untold stories. I may cheer in silence but I’m celebrating all who missed that opportunity for whatever reason I’m 2020. 

This experience also gave me a whole new level of understanding for playing like there is no tomorrow. Every game is like your last. Leave it all on the line. Tomorrow isn’t guaranteed on or off the field.

Now that we are in 2021 and restrictions are lifted I seem to be on the go. Go here go there. Do I complain about being busy? Yes. Would I want to be in isolation? Heck no! I do however need to be able to pause and make sure I don’t miss celebrating others due to my busy schedule. For the reasons I noted above, others need the chance to celebrate in 2021 because so much was missed in 2020.

I may have too many graduations to make them all but I will send that card. Send that text. Make that call. It’s an important step in 2021. For all those virtually reading this I’m sending you a celebratory high five if you are in need of celebrating. For those of you who have the opportunity to celebrate a milestone in 2021, make it a point to honor others.

It feels good to celebrate others. If you have somebody in your life who missed something big in 2020, send them a follow up this year. A card. A note. A call. A secondary celebration for making it a great year despite the blah of 2020. Why not? We have so many have-tos in life why not just do something different. 

friendship

The Athletic Supporter

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Sometimes I come along for the ride. Someone asks me to be there when they have a big day. When they’re competing.

For this enneagram 2, a helper at heart, this is music to my ears. I live for these moments! Put me in, coach! Some might ask, what do you do all day at CrossFit competition if you’re not competing? Why spend weekends sitting in sweltering lacrosse tents at far flung venues? What do you do with all the down time? Why are you there?

Lots of reasons, really. Here’s just a few.

I’m there to cheer. I’m there to take photos of moments big and small. To capture the day so you can see how amazing you are.

To be a clothes hanger for wardrobe shedding right before the big moment, to carry the bandaids and tylenol, to bring the good snacks and the right color gatorade, to apply the oils to aching muscles.

To provide chairs and blankets and hats. Or sunscreen and water and sunglasses, depending on the season. And umbrellas, always umbrellas.

I am a holder of phones, a fetcher of things from the car when you don’t want to get up from your seat. I am the scouter of porta-potties, or just going along for moral support. I am the counterbalance for quad stretches.

I am the bringer of cupcakes for birthdays or Galentine’s day or just because you like cupcakes. Or bagels. Or whatever you like. I am the maker of signs and shaker of pom poms when the need arises. I am a surprise engineer.

Need scissors? No problem. Sanitizer? Got it. Extra socks or tank top or leggings? Check, check, and check. Plates, spoons, knives, paper towels, Everything but the Bagel on cucumbers? Of course!

Sometimes I am screaming, to be that voice of encouragement you hear above the voice in your head. Sometimes I am wrapping you up in a blanket, hugging you and walking you around in the parking lot as your body temperature and heart rate come down. Sometimes I’m just here to listen to what it was like for you, in that moment. What went wrong, what felt good. The lucky sounding board for all of it.

I’m there for the podium pictures and the postgame meal. For the high fives and the hell yeahs.

Still, some of the most important parts of my day are spent in silence, just witnessing your efforts and achievements. Seeing any moments of doubt and staring at you until you look over and see me, telling you with my eyes, you got this. I believe in you. Being a part of it is amazing. Sharing in the memories, the “team mom” as someone recently said. To be a part of supporting someone I care for deeply. This is my purpose.

family

9-11 or 911 or…

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As the days approach 9/11 I reflect back on this date for many reasons. For me, my reasons are nothing like those who lost loved ones that day many years ago and I acknowledge that. 

What I do get to think about is what I was doing on that day, who was with me and where I was at that stage of life. How the world seemed at a standstill after that event shattered the world. Similar to the blank state of mind where we have been stuck with Corona of late.

My parents were visiting for my middle child’s 1st birthday all those years ago. Unable to fly home due to the safety concerns. Almost 20 years later and more turmoil in the world. Again flights are limited or not recommended. Another date I’m missing my dad that I had with me in that memorable time but not today.

My son’s first birthday. How far he is from that pure innocent child at such a ripe age. Now a maturing adult navigating life in such a complex world. Not realizing he lived through 9/11. Twisting around looking at my daughter who wasn’t even born yet. She doesn’t even recognize the magnitude of 9/11. She has toured the area in NYC but still lacks the depth of my experience on that same day. Just interesting to think about.

When I titled this article 9/11 or 911 I did it accidentally but then wondered if there was a coincidence that the date 9/11 was chosen due to the significance of 911 or emergency call in our society? Maybe that’s a dumb question but honestly it’s the first time it hit me front and center. I’m sure the backstory is in one of the documentaries but I hadn’t really acknowledged that point until now. Almost 20 years later.

Maybe I have always thought of this date in different ways and didn’t notice that coincidence. What do you remember about this date? How are you impacted when the date surfaces each year? Do you see any similarities to the pandemic of today? Just a food for thought post. Looking back almost 20 years to see how the world has changed and how much people in your life evolve in such time.