Lately, life has seemed pretty annoying in quite a few regards. Boring and trivial tasks pile up. Things I don’t enjoy or find satisfying are playing a bigger role in my work life. People don’t come through on what they said they would do. Frustrations at every turn. This really impacts my mood and mental state.
When I can get myself to step back and be aware of it, I try to flip my mindset from “have to” to “get to.”
When clerical tasks get piled on a work, instead of thinking “I have to do all these hours of mindless work,” I tell myself that I get to support teachers and make their days better, which is a part of my job that I value.
When a friend doesn’t come through for me, instead of feeling angry that I have to go it alone, I remind myself that I get to find out how strong I am on my own.
When the administrative muck of life comes calling, and car repairs, insurance plans, routine health visits, and phone calls make up so much of my to do list, instead of thinking I have to handle all this boring, time-sucking mess, I convince myself that I get to take care of things like this because I have a full, robust life that shouldn’t be undermined by my laziness and resistance. Sometimes my little mental flip-flop works. But, sometimes it doesn’t.
A big part of our theme at work this year is doing more things that bring you joy. Unfortunately, there just really aren’t that many. Changing my mind to try to cope and make the annoying stuff meaningful or at least relevant is my coping strategy right now. Sometimes the main thing you can change is your mind. Most of the time, you can’t change things or people. You can change your reaction to it. Release situations and people from expectations. Change your “have tos” to “get tos” and see if your outlook improves.
April came and went. Missed the first road trip to Nashville, TN while the RV got some sprucing up. Took extra time thanks to back ordered parts. I will get a redo on Nashville though, just later in the year.
Here we are Memorial Day weekend 2023 in Hilton Head Island, South Carolina. A new state to call home for a few days. This trip we are parked at a motor coach resort. That means no pull behinds, no tents, and a different setup than we have seen in the past. This facility has many permanent residents and many who rent out condo style. They sell lots for astronomical prices, but the place is a little slice of paradise. Lots of privacy and beauty just around the corner from the hustle bustle of beach goers.
Tucked in behind the gates and tree cover are beautifully paved lots with varying amenities. Some have full outdoor kitchens. Others have fire pits and cushy outdoor furniture. Landscaping is on par for sure. Pretty blooms, palm trees and moss covered trees kept you dry when the light rain came in from the ocean. It also provided tons of shade during the heat of the day. The campus also had plenty of walking areas, a dog park, tennis courts, pickle ball courts, pool, gym and other common entertainment areas. No detail was missed here.
Although there were many people in town there were many empty spaces or RVs shutdown for a season or reason unknown to me. The peacefulness was nice and a welcome destination for busy old me. I walked for miles and miles this trip. Kids were around but it definitely seemed like more older families traveling vs young families with kids in tow. Dog park was empty every day I took my doodle gang, but I did see many dogs out for leash walks daily.
Each lot was slightly different in design. From the decorative pavers to the shrubbery. Some sites even had the South Carolina symbol in the pavement. That’s some extra flair for sure. Each unique site had privacy which was nice. There was a lake with a notice about alligators and my space was by the creek. I watched daily but didn’t have any alligator encounters. Thank goodness.
I did have a visit about 3am one night by some angered animal. Not sure if it was bobcat or what but it scared the doo doo out of me for sure. I will never know what it was as the cameras didn’t pick up an image but it did move a chair so whatever it was it was big. It also made the loudest shrieks. Not sure if it mauled the cat next door but nobody said anything if it did.
Biggest takeaway on this trip is the amount of motor coaches in one place. I felt like I was at an RV show. There were older units, but not too old. 24 foot to 40 foot. $100,000.00 to 1 million dollar plus custom RVs. Such a variance in price range but still fun to look at on each walk I took. Made my mind wander on who affords these gems. Who lives there full time. Who works out of their RV.
While on this trip, I was focusing on clean eating. Not too hard to do since you have pretty much a condensed home kitchen in an RV. A little planning and preparation and clean eating is doable. Below is a screenshot of one day’s healthy eats. It was fun to plan and prepare and document this trip and clean eating. A new road challenge to conquer. I’ll put this challenge to these again when im staying in a hotel vs RV.
10 minutes to the many beaches and shops, but most of my time I spent relaxing, walking and just exploring the off beaten tracks. No must dos on this trip. Rather it was just do what feels good in the moment. There might have even been a few naps taken with the fresh air flowing through the RV. Lots of reading. Some writing. Plenty of dog time.
I did visit a local park to take a walk through a nature area. I saw the sign don’t feed the alligators but I had no idea how many I would actually see in the water. How many were sunbathing next to the walking trails and then the guy fishing in his kayak not at all bothered. I mean I’m sure I would have fallen in just thinking about who was gonna eat me.
Georgia, Florida, and Tennessee are the next states on the RV destination list. Two new destinations and one repeat. More exploration entries will come in the months ahead as the journeys continue. Off to live my best off-the-grid life, one state at a time. See you later alligators.
A vetwod challenge to benefit Stop Soldier Suicide.
Mental health for military members has been on my mind and heart for years. It was my focus of organizing and fundraising way back in 2019. I am not entirely sure why it tugs at my attention and effort, but it has, it still does, and it will.
Turned out I was able to borrow a pack from a veteran, which meant every time I put it on it held that much more meaning. Sometimes I listened to music. Other times I just walked in silence, as a sort of meditation. Often, when I walked the early morning miles, I would put my hand over his name and just send him and other vets positive, strengthening thoughts.
It’s really just walking with a few extra pounds, right? I never did weigh it. It’s true, after the first few days of putting the vest on, it didn’t seem extremely heavy. I did some really light jogging once I got used to having it on. Finding the extra time to ruck was the big challenge some days.
Even so, I certainly felt lighter every time I took it off. And my body told me, through tightened hips, sore back, and stiff legs, that whatever the weight was, it wore me out in new ways. Life was different when I wasn’t carrying it.
We recently wrote about burdens on this blog. Being a burden to others. The burdens we carry. This 50 miles of rucking made me think about how so many are weighted down in ways both visible and hidden. I was lucky to get the daily relief of taking the extra weights off. I could look forward to the feelings of lightness. What about those who are walking weighted in ways we cannot see? Through depression? PTSD? Weariness from taking care of others? Poor sleep from anxiety or nightmares?
I appreciate when my fitness efforts have an extra layer of meaning and thoughtfulness. A post for those, especially in military circles, who shoulder unspeakable burdens. May they find some relief, some lightness, knowing others care and appreciate what they have done.
For different people this answer can stretch for what seems like miles from one extreme to another. There is the obvious burden for our elderly. Unable to care for themselves 100% or dependent on others for shopping, driving, personal care, even tech support. Sometimes the need is even as simple as companionship or mental stimulation. All these things take time and effort. Once capable adults may find themselves in need of help on weekly or even daily basis.
There can be other scenarios for adults that are harder to see. Emotional, intellectual or even medical challenges or disabilities. These often cause dependency issues relating to transportation, housing, finances amongst others.
Tragedies or accidents or diseases with crippling effects. Confined to a wheelchair or hospital bed. Limited mobility during recovery. Medical care costs, time traveling to appointments, the red tape of insurance claims, referrals, the list goes on. Each scenario can make the individual feel like a burden to others. A dependency problem. One may perceive themselves to be a burden while others may be willing to offer support without thinking of their actions as burdensome. The mismatch can become a barrier between people.
Hope. A simple four-letter word. We can all offer hope to others through our positive actions. Sending a note card, a text or making the phone call. Checking in to offer a helping hand. Some will accept while others will deny any help. They may even hide the fact that they need assistance. Watch for other signs with those who deny any need for help. Depression. Isolation. Self-harm. Lack of interest in religion. Giving away prized possessions. These signs could lead to other issues.
Maybe it’s their stubbornness or I can do it mentality. Maybe they don’t want to waste others’ time. Let’s face it, we will all find our selves in this scenario at some point in time. How will you handle the burden dilemma? Will you accept help willingly? Will you ask for what you need? Will you want to be isolated and do it all on your own? Will you consider quitting the fight all together?
On the other end, if you offer support is it endless? Is it just a starting point? To force the one struggling to face their problems head on? Will you continue to offer support time and time again? What if somebody takes advantage of your kindness? How does one communicate to the person in need that it’s okay to have help? It’s okay to work as a team. It’s okay to not be okay all the time, but it’s never okay to take help for granted.
Sometimes the one who needs the help becomes a taker because the giver allows it. One must always set boundaries. You can offer help but expect change and effort (or at the very least gratitude) in return. And watch out for reverse abuse. Words can hurt. The one who feels they are a burden can lash out at the ones closest to them. Unless you have that hard conversation the hole will continue to build. Consistent and honest communication can go a long way toward sharing the burdens so no one gets overwhelmed.
3 am came too early for the girl who likes to sleep past 7 am on the daily and even later on the weekend.
What was different? A few things, but nothing serious. Tired, of course. Just unable to sleep. Maybe too much caffeine before bed? Was it a restless night? Not so much. Just a good old case of she can’t sleep. Now. Today. At all. Talk about frustrating!
Not hungry. Not thirsty. Not angry. Not unsettled. Not hyped for a trip or a meeting or a big work deal, nothing. Not a thing to weigh one down. Insomnia. Just insomnia. Toss. Turn. Peek at the clock. Take deep breaths. Count to 20. Listen to the soft sounds of doggies breathing. All so peaceful…but sleep is still miles away. Hate to see what my whoop says tomorrow or today about my overnight recovery. The yawns get heavier but still the sleep doesn’t follow. Day breaks and as predicted, the whoop insists sleep is needed! Just a confirmation of what I already knew.
Visits to dreamland are short. Then longer visits seem deeper yet disturbing content causes me to wake. Unexpected. Sleep deprived: no stormy weather just stormy sleep; a long day awaits this tired soul.
A day outdoors with the sun on her face adds to the exhaustion. Will a late afternoon nap help offset the tiredness? Would a wind down cocktail be better? Who’s to know the exact recipe to support the exhausted. Minutes in daytime seem as long as the endless minutes overnight. Hungry every couple of hours. Snapping at co-workers. Attention drifts. Not quite firing on all cylinders. Body feeling heavy. When is bedtime again?
This fiasco starts again as the new night begins. Eye masks. Extra blankets. Blankets pulled up just right. Reading for a few minutes. Nothing could soothe the soul of the tired one. Maybe it’s time to count sheep? Lullabies?
2 Chicks and a blog 