Tag: learning

celebrations

2-2-2(3)

2chicksandapen

Ah a day of twos on the calendar. And when I thought about writing about this day of twos I genuinely thought it was 2/2/22. Little old me had a brain fart. I forgot we are in the year 2023. That could be due to my sleep deprivation. Oopsie. Well I’m still writing about my day of twos with a 3 on the end.

A tennis match is set on this day. Rain got in the way. No outdoor fitness for me today. Too bad. Too sad. I guess I won’t go 0-2 or 2-0 in tennis today. Way too much rain today.

Today is the second day of my birth month. I already got a cool gift on day one. Can’t wait for day two of surprises. Maybe it’s no surprise today. Maybe I’ll surprise myself with a gift. That’s kind of fun to do too. February is always a fun month for me. Valentine’s Day. Birthday. Holiday thrown in for a day off. A short month. I do like the month of February. It also the only F month which also coincides with my favorite four letter F word which just so happens to be my word of the week.

A sequence of twos in the date. And three just dangling on the end of the date.

Maybe even a little bit of a lucky twos day.

Too bad it’s not Tuesday too.

For today I’m opting to write a few notes about my day of twos. For today I am focusing on happy. How to incorporate happy into every waking hour of the day. Not that I don’t choose happy other days, rather I’m choosing to document happy hour every hour today. Just because.

I didn’t know I’d start with 2am but here I am at 2:08 am on a day of twos. Odd that I was startled at such an hour. Odd that I decided to write. But here I am. Here is the proof above of the time stamp this all began. I have many items to tackle today this why I’m probably awake. Thinking and rethinking the best path or route for the day. I’m tired of course but my mind isn’t settled to rest. The delicacy of this dilemma.

I guess I will hope for two hours of deep sleep before my real waking day of two begins. I guess you will need to read on to see how the day of two unfolds. I sent my first happy gram out via text. Since I’m focusing on happy today I figured I’d use my 2 am hour to make some folks smile first thing in the morning. Task one is done for me.

I didn’t plan to be awake at 2:22 am today thus I will consider it my calling. I am not making a wish for this magical time of awareness on 2/2 it 2:22 am. My own little moment of weirdness.

How many times can I do things in two today?

I put on my two shoes before 8 am. It was cold outside this I opted for two layers of shirts. Well a long sleeve and a sweatshirt. Then I decided to take out my deck of magical profanity affirmation cards. I picked two at random and delivered them electronically to some special people in my life. Fun. Snarky. Spontaneous. Just part of the day of twos. The one below ironically had a mirrored image showing two….

My day ended up getting tanked with a lot of random issues that all piled up in the morning, in the afternoon and the rain pretty much shot my evening plans. That means less cool things to write about today. That leaves with a little wisdom to share.

Start your day off with some positivity. A note to a friend. A text. A phone call. A cup of coffee with a friend. Find the fun or happy in every hour despite the shittiness that can pop up. This way no matter what shit storm hits your desk or plate in the day, you still win because you started your day off with happiness. I also know a friend wrote hand written notes to some key friends this week. One was of particular importance. Never miss an opportunity to share your caring self. If you get the time to write a personal note, card, letter just do it. You will be one of the few who take the time to stroke a pen with a purpose. This is my two cents on this day of twos.

challenges

Time

2chicksandapen

I try to be generous with what I have. I love to buy people gifts when I see something that reminds me of them. I give to causes that mean something to me. I am lucky that I can even afford to lend you 50 bucks if you need it once in a while.

But there is one thing I am kind of stingy about.

My time.

There’s a saying…invest in land, because land is the one thing they can’t make any more of. I’d argue that time is also in that category. The thing with time is that we also don’t know how much we have of it, which makes it even more precious. Before we know it, it may run out.

I am guarded with my time. I never have enough. Lots of responsibilities and things to look after…my family, my job, my property. I invest a lot of time in my health. Time driving, time cooking, doing chores and errands…seems like there is very little left once everything is more or less taken care of.

Sometimes this means I look wishy washy when people make plans. Sometimes I just wait until the last minute. I preserve my time for me, just in case.

If I give you a bit of the time I have left, that really means something. I value you enough to give that precious resource that I try to guard very carefully.

So here’s the rant-ish point of this post:

Don’t waste my time.

I was recently in a situation where someone asked me to spend a morning on something for them. I reluctantly agreed, since it really wasn’t an activity I cared to do. But I kind of let myself be bullied into it, and was crabby about it all the days leading up to it. I wasted a bunch of energy being mad about it. And then, with very little fanfare or announcement, the event that I had been grouchy about got canceled at the very last minute. Like, very last minute. Meaning I had already showed up to attend and participate. So there was no chance to regroup, reschedule, refocus. Tasks that could have been taken care of on that rare quiet weekend day were put off.

Maybe other people have more flexibility with how they spend their time. Maybe I’m just a grump. But I was so damn angry after that I could have just screamed. I think I did scream, actually. I shook my head and grumbled for many days, I know.

My lesson for me: just like money, don’t give my time away if I care if it gets wasted. If I’d be angry if they don’t come through, just say no. Also, be brave enough to draw those boundaries even when I feel bullied by people who are supposed to be family or friends. No one cares about my time as much as I do. Nor can I expect them to.

What’s funny is most of the people who I would willingly give the time to are the very ones who wouldn’t dare to waste it. Maybe that’s part of what creates trust, understanding, and friendship.

perspective

Fail to Learn

2chicksandapen

Learn to fail.

Fail to learn.

Fail early.

Fail often.

Failure is the name of the game.

Life is like a series of mazes. Choices. Opportunities. Deadlines. Direct/indirect paths. So many options. With each choice in life there is an opportunity to fail. When you fail there is also an opportunity to learn. Capitalizing on learning through life’s failures is often a missed opportunity.

Sometimes we fail mentally. Sometimes we fail emotionally. Sometimes we fail physically. We can even fail socially. In today’s digital age social failures can have long standing impacts if not recognized. We all have a journey or a path in life. Each unique to the person. Some paths change in time while others stay constant for one reason or another.

I’m a trailblazer or sorts. A pathfinder. One that learns through discovery. A curious mind that enjoys exploration. The mundane is of no interest to me. The volatility of a day/week with constant change fuels my soul. Failure is a part of my daily game.

I fail as a parent. I fail often. The maze of life ensures my failure, in hopes I will learn along the way. Life isn’t perfect by any means. People are messy each and every day. Hope. Opportunity. Adventure. I seek it all. I encourage others to do the same. Living life to the fullest. The motto of my mom. Engrained in me. I choose to be different most days. I choose the less traveled paths. 

I don’t ask for approval. I ask forgiveness when needed. I stretch more than I’d like some days. I refrain on other days. It’s a delicate balance. I can’t ever change the world we live in or the people we mix with. I can however encourage others, spread joy, support and shine through my life experiences. Some written. Some portraits. Some live. Some even taped.

What are you doing to be a trailblazer in your own life? Do you encourage others? Do you choose to fail? Will you learn when you fail?

I dare you to think about this post and how it fits into your life. I dare you to have the courage to look deep inside for your own answers. For this is a maze of sorts for you. There are no right or wrong answers. It’s more of a self discovery exercise. The more you do it the more growth you will see.

Keep thinking.

Keep dreaming.

Keep changing.

Keep an open mind.

You can grow today and in the future if you think about the process in the form of a constant maze. The challenge of your life. You do the work. You set the parameters.

challenges, fitness and nutrition

Grow Bolder, Not Older

2chicksandapen

The 100th Day of School.

Full of fun and games, snacks and celebrations, all kinds of counting everywhere you turn.

And then the invitation to look like the theme: “Dress like you’re 100 years old.”

I’m trying to use what I already have…shop my closet if you will. So I grabbed a white bobbed wig from a recent adventure, then went to choose my clothes, which led to all kinds of imagining. If I live to 100, what would I want my life to be like? I had some of my mom’s old frocks from the 70’s. A muu-muu? A hospital gown?

As I often try to do, I responded to the call in an unexpected way. I knew from previous years that my colleagues would show up with walkers, medicine bottles, and curlers in their hair. But with my sassy white bob I thought to myself, what do I *want* 100 to be like? What am I working for right now?

If I had my way, I’d be living on a beach in a relatively modest home because I’d also be spending a lot of time in active travel. Globe trotting, enjoying life. Savoring sunsets. Life would be an actual parade, not just a parade of doctor’s appointments. And so I donned a colorful kimono over my leggings and sandals.

When I got to school, my hunches were spot on. As I floated around the hallway, I saw lots of gray hair spray, canes and crutches, frumpy fashion. Is this really what we have kids looking forward to? It’s no wonder being older has a stigma. If life is just a collection of pains and prescriptions, moving slow with things falling apart, who would be excited to get there? And how can we let them know that the decisions they make today can help them create the future they want to have, physically, mentally, emotionally and for their all-around health?

Many kids and even co-workers giggled when they saw my take on the theme. Some asked me about it…I just said I plan to be active, vibrant, and living my best life when I hit triple digits. I may not be able to control everything about aging, but I can control my attitude about it. I can control my eating habits and exercise. I can keep my mind nimble and my stress as low as I can. With that and some luck, hopefully I will avoid the walker and embrace the wanderlust.

mental health, perspective

Just 11 Days

2chicksandapen

It was the wee hours of the morning. 4:00 am to be exact. The loneliness set in. My partner in crime was whisked away yet again for 11 days. These days seem manageable in isolation yet in combination lies the challenge. 

The void that lingers. 11 days. 22 days. 33 days. When a year passes and you miss far more days than you have the sadness sets in. How much was missed? How much made the cut? Was it enough? Some weeks it’s a Monday that you feel the toll in life hit. Other weeks the sleepless worry hits on Tuesday. Sometimes it hits more than one day. It’s a vicious cycle.

Sometimes life puts obstacles or signals in your path to test your strength: to test your resilience. Sometimes these barriers seem impossible yet we find a way to push onward. I’m in the midst of reading the latest royal book, Spare. It’s odd to think about the word spare in the context of the book. A spare child. A spare heir. A spare to discard. No matter how many pages deep I am in the book, I will be forever held up by the word spare.

My life doesn’t have spares. I don’t have spare kids. I don’t have spare friends. I don’t have spare time with either. I don’t spare any part of my life. That means the time I miss can’t be spared at all. Oh the quandary of that latter statement.

How do you count time when you can’t spare time? You don’t. You wander through empty space as if time wasn’t associated. A wading of sorts. You are there but not really there. The shell of you is present but the mind space has drifted somewhat to a space in time that is all-inclusive of your special people. Drifting or wading through memories of past and memories to come in the future.

The book speaks to losing a mum. I have a mum. A mummy. A mommy. I certainly don’t have a spare mommy and I am certainly not a spare to my kids. Rather I’m present just like my mom. No matter the challenge I’m there. No matter the challenge she is there. But one day will Mommy always be there? The sad reality is no. For now I won’t spare my time as mummy or with mummy for it is valued. For those of you who don’t have that opportunity with your mum, my heart hurts for you.

With grief many occupy head space with memories of those lost but not forgotten. Sometimes that includes a mom. I reflect on this as a mom I know lost her battle with cancer this week. Her time wasn’t spared. 

Many include the missing in future plans honoring their memories. Holding on to the happy times together. I do this often. My nephew. My dad. My good friends. Those gone too soon due to death, but there are others who leave for other reasons. Maybe a big move to a new city. Maybe an experience of a lifetime overseas. Maybe even a work obligation causing one to live elsewhere temporarily. Time away. A void that may never be replaced.

I may lose 11 days today. 22 days the next cycle or 33 the next round. What makes this particular trek difficult is the unknown. How long does time sit in this stage. Does it continue for infinity as it does with one who dies? Does it keep looping in terms of days or weeks as it does now? I can’t stay lost in the empty space of consciousness. I must shift.

As 2023 rounded the corner I shifted from the dullness of being lonely to a new mindset of lonely. One that isn’t perfectly designed as I’m in it. I’m just more aware. I’m conscious within the subconscious. I’m trucking through new obstacles in a different way. I’m not sparing time as time can’t be spared. People can’t be spared. Those important will never be spare at all. I’m valuing the front and center and focusing less on the loss(es). 

None of us can reverse time. None of us can spare or bank time. Every week I will be present in my own little ways. Avoiding spare time. Spare people. Forging ahead on borrowed time. If there is such a thing.