health

Losing the Crown

Most think of royalty and a crown. Maybe even a Crown and Coke. I hate to let you down with the title today. For me it was a dental crown that was lost and this is how the story goes.

It’s not really a topic of conversation to speak about your existing crown outside of the dentist office. However on this day, my crown wanted to tell its own story.

It wanted to let me know it was annoyed at the dental hygienist that I let clean my teeth that morning. The crown didn’t like the extra poking and prodding she did. Come to think of it, neither did I. And for the record I am not a huge fan of any dentist, but I know I’m not alone there.

My crown let me know about it when I went to eat a snack later that day. She threw a tantrum of sorts. She bucked up, flung herself around my mouth with my food. Almost causing me to choke on the lovely porcelain crown. That would have been interesting cause of death I am sure.

Anyway, I was able to save the crown and myself simultaneously. An Irony I know. It was hard work but I did it and I’m here to recount the story. Out comes the crown and there lies a bare spot. A nub of tooth. An ugly spot. A very ugly gap if I do say so myself.

Thankfully the crown is hidden in the back of my mouth so most won’t notice. But of course I notice it. I feel it with my tongue. I feel it when I accidentally eat something on that side of my mouth. I feel it when brushing my teeth. I just know what’s missing. Losing a crown of any kind is shameful.

It’s such an annoyance to lose a crown. Now I have to wait patiently for the dentist to squeeze me in to have it reglued. Hopefully they will use Gorilla Glue this time to avoid future issues.
For now I’ll smile a little less until my grill and crown has been restored to its highly functioning self.

No pictures in this post as I wouldn’t want to scare anyone! Maybe I need a crown and coke to take the edge off my pain and suffering.

Another day. Another story. Go ahead and laugh at my expense. It was my hope to make you giggle my the end of this story. It’s as real as it gets.

challenges

PSA #42

I’m not a doormat.

I don’t appreciate being taken advantage of.

Your lack of planning doesn’t constitute an emergency on my part.

I have a schedule. 

I have feelings.

I have a to do list like most people.

If you ask I’m willing to help anyone.

If you demand I help, see where it gets you.

Are you a giver in life?

Have you felt like a doormat before?

Did you let others know how you felt?

I did.

They didn’t like it.

Will they change?

Who knows. It’s really up to them to look in the mirror and decide for themselves.

Did I change? Yes I did. I’m less trusting. I’m guarded. I’m bitchier. I’m proud of myself.

Today I gave to many. Unfortunately many close to me took advantage of me. My time. My mental energy. My talents. My pride. My joy. My rest. My smile. It was replaced with anger, frustration and grief. Did anyone even notice?

Overnight I have to glue myself back together. Dust off my crown and smile big tomorrow. For I have people relying on me in many facets of my professional life. I do all this over and over again. Sadly the people closest don’t see how their own selfishness impacts me in many ways. 

Part of me thinks they just don’t care. Other parts of me think they just expect me to do, do, do because I always have.

Did I put a sign on me that said I’m a doormat go ahead and wipe your feet? I don’t recall doing something so absurd. Not sure where this happened but it did.

I’m tired of entitlement.

As I ring in 2021. I am hitting the pause button on being nice. I’m shifting to me, me, me. I’m really the only one I can count on.  

I guess I’m thankful for 2020 and all its fuckery so I could clearly see what’s been in front of me for years. With the slowdown of life I just had more time to see it happening. In slow motion. Truly sad but true.