family

One Year

It’s been a year since since I lost my dad. I think of him often. I cherish my memories. I love to see my pictures from the past pop up on my social media timehop. I like to honor his memory whenever I can.

As I think of the past year I have many emotions. Some I can articulate. Some I’m still processing. It’s part of the grieving process for me. 

I think about how my mom is doing often. How she is getting by each day without her partner of over 60 years. How she has to manage so much without him. How she has to be strong when she probably wants to cry. How she has to stand up for herself. 

I try my best to comfort her. I try to take her away from her normal to show her happy when I can. I try to make her laugh. I try to snap as many photos as she will allow knowing my days may end with her without notice. I like to live in the moment with her. Get her to try new things. She doesn’t like to plan beyond 2 weeks in advance but she will try if she doesn’t think too much about why she shouldn’t. She is living her life to the fullest.

One day at a time we are adjusting. We lost our rock of the family. As he was put to rest my Mom arose as the new rock. A role reversal of sorts but fun for me to watch. I have learned so much from her this year. How to face adversity. How to stand firm for your beliefs. How to be independent. How to be okay with a new normal.

The last statement is probably the most important. Being okay with how the chips may fall. We can all have a plan we work towards but a piece of the plan may fall through. In those times we need to adjust. Be flexible. Learn. Chart a new path. Change the environment if need be. 

Life may test us. It may rock our faith. It may push our patience buttons repeatedly. How we react defines who we are. I want to be like my mom. A rock of sorts. A dynamic rock. A strategic rock. A rock that is durable to withstand the elements of life. 

Life doesn’t have a roadmap. It has twists, turns, speed bumps, uphill battles, and so much more. Who we are shows when faced with the hardest times. Do we buckle under pressure? Do we rise to the occasion?

My mom.

My rock.

My inspiration.

Mother’s Day was upon me when I wrote this post. I spent some special time with her this weekend. I was able to see so much in her eyes. I saw her joy for so many reasons. At the same time I saw sadness that my dad wasn’t there to share the experience with her. I saw her aging. Her body is deteriorating. Is it natural timing? Is it her being lost without him? Is it her environment partly reclusive no thanks to corona? I will never know.

Each year I will honor my dad in May. I haven’t decided all the ins and outs of my dedication but I do know I will have traditions. 

hustle, perspective

One Hour A Day

If you had an extra hour a day, what would you with it?

That is a loaded question for me. Although it’s impossible to get an extra hour a day, you can actually make an hour a day count.

I put an hour to the test. Just one hour. One day. A couple of days. Many days. Now I have a habit. A routine.

I can make an hour a day count for so much more by committing to that one hour my way. What I need to focus on in that snapshot of time.

Maybe your one hour today is meal prepping. Hint: that is one of mine (Sunday).

Maybe you have an hour of strategic planning. Maybe an hour of no technology. Maybe it’s an hour set aside to pay bills uninterrupted. Maybe it’s some me time. Maybe it’s some one-on-one spouse time. Maybe it’s a date day with one of your kids.

The possibilities are endless. In 2020, I’m going to commit an hour a day to accomplish something that is relevant to me and what I have on the horizon.

Can you commit an hour a day? An hour a week or maybe a day a month to help yourself in one way or another?

Challenge is set. Now who is in? Make sure you have a plan. A planner always helps me accomplish a lot in a given year while allowing me the opportunity to reflect on what’s already taken place as well.

2020 is a monumental year. Most reading this post were not alive in 1919 and won’t be alive in 2121. Therefore this is a great year to create a spark of your own. At least that is what I am setting out to do.